All Comments on 'I Will Never Be Loved Ch. 05'

Too short chapters though!

Loving the story but i need mpre than a page

Atleast 2 to 3.

I hav been reading since u started writing an im still

waiting on more than one page

Well that escalated quickly. Luke wooosaaa kiddo wooosaaa

I like the story so far just a side note. Once you tell us how the character is feeling we get it. One or two lines on that emotion is enough. You do not have to write a paragraph on one emotion. Like once she relays that she is going to make the best of the situation. That's it the first two lines or just any two lines out of that one is fine no need for it to be repeated in like 5 different ways. But good story

Keep up the good work. I would love to see how this story unfolds.

The story is on wattpad in its entirety for those that want to read:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/27954948-i-will-never-be-loved-wattys2015

For those that have an expectation of several sex scenes, this story does not fulfill that (really just one scene). Don't get me wrong, I thought the story was good, but just wanted to alert those looking for more of those intimate moments so they aren't taken off guard and/or disappointed.

Critique wise - as many other commenters have suggested, you should combine chapters for this site. The audience here isn't the same as Watt, and they won't respond well to the same formatting. Also, you will definitely want to edit the chapters a bit more before posting here. The audience here holds authors to standards in regards to grammar and spelling. A couple typos/errors here and there are no biggie, but the story as currently written on Watt def has way too many for this site and it will kill your votes here.

I love this story, yes it needs some editing but I love it, I found myself smiling while I read it

Thank you for sharing it

This story could be one of the better one's found on this site. Please don't let others discourage you. I would like to see where the journey the story takes. I am interested on the backstory also.

Sorry to dissapoint those of you who like my work, but I don't think I'm going to continue putting this story on here. Wattpad and Literotica are to totally different sites and I don't believe my writing works on here. Thank you to all the people who have supported me on here, you guys are great!

Keep writing please. I have to know what happens. This is a really good story don't doubt yourself your a really good writer. I'll die if I don't find out what happens with Luke and Danielle, or if Dan is going to have a bigger role in the story.

I'll read every word.

I'm curious to hear what you have in store for those two. I hope you keep writing; you can't tease your readers, didn't you say there was 35 chapters? :)

Link to this story on Watt:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/27954948-i-will-never-be-loved-wattys2015

Not sure why storylover didn't post the link, but I'd found it for myself and figured I'd share it. :)

I love this story it's my new favorite. Please continue to write I can't wait to read what happens next between Luke and Danielle!!!

Please continue you may not believe your writing works on literotica but it does all these people including myself who are reading your story believe in your talent. Please continue we all love this story

I'm enjoying reading your story. I think that it's different from the "stroker" stories that are common here, but that there's room for this type of romance, too. Since you stopped posting it here, I've followed it over to Wattpad.

I do find your lack of proofreading a bit annoying, but it doesn't mean that you are less talented, or that the story isn't great. Keep track of to, too, two, lose, loose, your, and you're, and you will be half-way there!

Keep going!! People will always have some type of criticism, but they have no stories or books published lol...LOOOOVEEE ITT!!!

Please finish I would love to read all 35 chapters

Is there gonna be sex in this??? Please say yes!

Can we please get the other chapters already

Even though I do enjoy erotic aspect of Bwwm, this story is refreshing. Please post more.

Look: if you are not dead, finnish this! I dont care if you are strapped to life support and an oxygen tank. i gotta know. does luke really love danni? PLEASE. this is the best story i have ever read here. am fat too, go figure! please. you. have. my full attention. dont be a killjoy.

Hey,

I know there's no sex in these chapters but I love the thought you've put into it.

Aside from some typos it really is great.

Are you still active on here? I'd love to see some more chapters

Wow. Continue please