All Comments on 'Ian'

Missing some fundamental language use skills, and it felt like a documentary by a man who was bored with a world he didn't understand in the least. Shame, too. The beginning was string enough to have made a fine story about a young man's discovery of power and the drunken rewards sidled with sobering consequences it could bring. But a man like this "fathering the world" with numb-minded women and absolutely no passion was not where I saw that going at all.

that was so cool

Really enjoyed the first part of this story, but felt that towards the end it went a little "over the top". The mind control part was brilliant, and reminded me of the stories I had read about "magic spectacles" which make everyone appear nude to the wearer, but I felt that the end went a little too far. Gave it 5 points just the same, though for writing.

The dumbest story, I have ever read on here. Work on your spelling also.