All Comments on 'Ice Cream Girl'

That was ironic and funny as well.

Well done. No specific criticism, aside from a slightly too-fast hook-up (and I'm very guilty of that myself at times.) I enjoyed some fo the detail you gave, like the baggy shorts not showing off her ass. It gives the story a little bit of realism.

I don't have a problem with this, but I have been criticized for giving a woman's measurements. I don't see the big deal, it paints a real clear picture, but since I got called on it I notice it in the writings of others.

Darn good work. Keep it up.

Well done! It reminds me of a sex scene from a comedy movie in some ways, but obviously with more emphasis on the sex. The set up, and especially the other studio characters give it a flavor of lightheartedness, which doesn't detract at all from the intensity of the sex scene. Those elements were woven together well, especially in the ending. The combination of first person narration and italicized thought dialogue was handled well. It's easy to go overboard with that, but yours was just right. Hope to see more from you.

I quite enjoyed this story, but what is it doing in the 'First Time' section? There is nothing at all in the story to indicate that either of the characters are virgins, in fact there is fairly strong evidence that they are not.