Idolatria Ch. 19

James 4:10

"On court number one, Vega versus Tanner... Court number two, Lambert versus Holt... Court number three, Parrish versus Lipinski!"

Second round of matches. Our home area only had three courts, so our six singles matches had to be split up. The doubles team had only gotten one win out of their three this morning. First round of singles, two wins. In order to win our team the match today, we needed another two out of three to get our four points, and as Rutgers was an actual ranked team, this one mattered for our overall ranking.

I'd be one of those points.

I set aside my calculations to scan the stands again. It wasn't crowded. Our stands were usually pretty empty, enough that you could hear individual cheers and shouts. Pro tennis matches were as silent as a golf course. College games, it didn't really matter.

Levi wasn't here. Not from what I could see. I'd left his place that morning when it was still dark out and went back to my house, so when I was getting up for real at seven AM, my parents thought I'd just gotten home late.

But I'd at least left him a text telling him what I'd done and where to go... had he forgotten? Or was he ignoring me on purpose because I left? Levi didn't strike me as being that petty. I'd spent the night at his place too often lately and it was getting suspicious... Surely he understood that.

The flick of a coin pulled my attention back where it was needed.

"Lipinski, server. Parrish, receiving." The umpire gestured to each of our respective sides, and I trotted to mine, readjusting the visor I'd swapped for my headband to keep the sun out of my eyes. I made a final scan of the stands behind my opponent. My parents were in the front row, along with a surly Daniel slumped in his seat. Janina was sitting next to my mom, her broad smile almost infectious.

I took a deep breath and gripped my racket. Time to go.

Lipinski tossed the ball sky-high and swung it back down to earth, and I bounced up on my toes to get myself moving.

And missed.

My chest was ice cold as I looked back and saw the ball rolling away from where it had hit the boards. I'd moved left, and the serve had gone just past my right leg.

Stupid! Stupid mistake! I exhaled sharply and repositioned. In the stands, someone was clapping bracingly.

"Let's go, Ash! You've got this!"

I tuned out Janina's cheers and twisted the racket in my hands. Lipinski had clearly already figured out my dominant hand, so that wasn't going to give me an advantage. Fine, then.

The serve came again, so low that the racket nearly struck the ground as I swung. I returned it with as much topspin as I could, and watched it curve to the far corner and bounce. Lipinski was on it in an instant. The air was cold in my throat as I chased his return and sent it back. It slipped under him on the bounce.

Tied score. I'd just have to keep it up and get the advantage.

But at the end of my first set, I wasn't as far ahead as I'd wanted. Four games to six, my set, and that last one had needed a tiebreaker at 40-40. Either I was more distracted than I thought, or my opponent from Rutgers was just that good. Probably both.

At five games to five in the second set, the back of my shirt was soaked through with sweat. My opponent had me running to every corner of the court to return his shots. If I wasn't careful, I was gonna get burnt out before I got through this set, and if I lost this game, I'd be looking at another set to break the tie.

If I couldn't handle matches like this, though, there was no way I'd make it as a pro...

No... I can do this. I'm the best I've ever been.

I'd been checking the stands every time we changed sides, desperate to catch a glimpse of Levi hiding among the deserted seats. I wasn't sure it was even worth it to keep looking up. I rolled my shoulders as I walked to the other side, where I was looking into the sun, then tugged my visor down and gripped the racket.

The game is love, and Lipinski has the serve. He tossed the ball high above him and swung, nearly shouting with his strike.

I returned the first shot and dashed to the other side of the court when it inevitably came back that way. My backhand sent it just past the net. Back to the opposite corner. Return. My opponent stepped over a moment too late, and the chainlink fence behind him rang out with the impact of the ball.

I can do this. I can do it. I'm gonna win this fucking thing. Not for Levi, not for anything he promised me...

I'll play for me.

"Point, Parrish."

I'll win for me.

"Point, Parrish!"

This is the only time my body belongs to me... to win for me. To strain the muscles and break the bones and win, fucking win, and then hand myself in desperation to my owner for the reward only he can give me -- but for now, this is something only I can give myself. This game. This win.

"Game, set, and match!"

Janina was the first to intercept me after the post-game meeting, her smile blinding and ponytail flouncing behind her. "You did it! That was amazing, Ash!" she beamed. "It really looked like he was giving you a hard time at first!"

"He was," I admitted, readjusting my bag over my shoulder. "Doesn't matter, though. We lost the other two matches. Our season ends here."

"It's still good for your personal record, though, isn't it?" Janina insisted. "That's all the pro leagues will look at."

"I mean, I guess. Well, it's not like Immaculata was gonna be in the NCAA or anything..."

"That's not because of your performance, though... It's pre-set."

"I know." I wanted to get out of this conversation. We were just repeating things both of us already knew. The fact was this was now the last game I would ever play at the university. Which meant Levi had missed his last chance to watch me in this court.

I barely heard what Janina and my family were saying to me, only responding automatically as I fished my phone out of my bag. I needed to text him, to tell him I won and remind him of our deal... Why hadn't he come? After all that...

But he'd already messaged me first.

"Congrats on your match. You were beautiful, Ash. Can't wait to give that body of yours another workout."

"But first, I think I promised you a reward."

"Be at my place at 6:00. My collar had better be on your neck when you get here."

I'd showered and dressed up at least halfway decent for my night out. Tried, anyway. I even threw on some of the cologne I kept in the back of my sock drawer, spice and wood rubbed fervently into the insides of my wrists and the hollow of my neck, where it mixed with the leather of my collar. What were the meetups like? Levi had told me absolutely nothing. All I knew was what Cass... Miss Red had told me. Informal, or at least I had assumed. Not kinky. But still a place I could openly wear my collar.

A place Levi didn't want to be. Was it cruel of me to ask him for this?

Miss Red had been adamant he was safe from this guy he hated, though. And he wouldn't have agreed if it was... what had he called it in the past? A "hard limit". Something that had come up in our chats.

Well... I had to trust that, as Levi expected of me, he would communicate if he was beyond his comfort level. That thought was reassuring.

I was met at the doorway of his apartment by a loud, whirring, grinding noise. It stopped just as I passed the kitchen and caught sight of Levi there, busying himself with something in a blender. He apparently hadn't heard me come in, because when I came up alongside him, he just about dropped the glass he was holding.

"Christ, Ash!" he sighed in relief. "How long have you been there?"

"Like... a few seconds," I shrugged apologetically.

He broke out in a smile as his hair slipped down over one eye, and without another word, he seized me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I shivered and unraveled in his arms.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hold you all day," he muttered against my neck. He paused, inhaled briefly, and then pulled back with a bewildered look. "Are you wearing Calvin Klein?"

I blinked. "I, uh... I don't know what brand it is. My mom got me this gift set forever ago..."

Levi laughed, leaning back against the counter. "Ash, you have to be the straightest man I've ever fucked. It's a nice scent, though. Suits you well."

"What were you doing just now?"

He glanced back at the counter, hesitating for a moment before busying himself with the blender again. "Making something to drink. Want some?"

"You're drinking? I thought we were driving."

"It's not alcohol, it's a smoothie... or whatever. Strawberry."

"Oh... No, thanks."

"Suit yourself." Halfway through pouring the vivid pink mixture into his glass, he gave my outfit a once-over. "You're a little too dressed up," he said. "Go put on one of the shirts I laid out on the bed."

Too formal? Well, compared to Levi... I had on one of my button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled up. He was wearing his lace-up boots with the ankle harness, but with tattered gray jeans and a graphic tee bearing the image of a distorted girl's face and what looked like Chinese letters. Would everyone be this casual? Maybe I was overdressed.

I turned to leave the kitchen, then stopped and came back, my chest feeling rather tight as I gathered my voice. "Where were you earlier?"

Levi glanced up at me, apparently confused.

"At the game. I didn't see you anywhere. But... you messaged me after like you'd been there the whole time."

"I was," he said. "I wasn't sitting anywhere obvious, but I was there. I saw your family there and wanted to avoid drawing attention. But I watched you play, Ash. I didn't miss a thing."

My shoulders loosened as he spoke. "I just... I thought you hadn't come."

He shrugged rather impassively. "I'm sorry," he said. "One day you won't need me to hide at your games, okay? Go get changed. If you wanna go to this thing, we need to head out soon."

On Levi's bed were three more t-shirts. Nothing plain. All black, with distinctive images splashed across the chest. Bands? I didn't recognize any, so I picked one at random, one with a motorcycle and a guy in a red jacket.

Levi caught up with me just as I was pulling the shirt down over my hips. "Looks good," he commented. "These are all too small for me. You can keep them if you want."

"I've never heard of anything on these..."

"That's fine. I'll share that stuff with you eventually." He cocked his head in the direction of the hall. "Come sit. We need to talk before we go."

I stepped forward tentatively. "Am I in trouble?"

"Of course not. You just need ground rules and info."

In the kitchen, I waited for Levi to settle down with his drink before I sat. He sighed and leaned his elbows on the table.

"All right," he said. "You convinced me to do this, and honestly, I don't disagree with your reasons for wanting to go. So here's what you need to know." He lifted one hand and began brandishing fingers, starting with his pinky. "One. This is not a kink party. You will not be asked to perform any sexual or kink-related tasks. However, I may, at times, command you to perform a service-related task -- getting me a drink, things like that -- and I expect you to still respond to me as you would in private."

"Yes, Sir."

"Exactly. Now, on that note... There will be other Dominants there. You will not call anyone Sir or Miss unless I introduce them to you by that name, understand? You show no reverence to anyone without my instruction." He paused to drink from his glass. "Likewise, if you see another Dominant commanding certain behavior of their subs, that does not mean I want you to behave that way. And you will not obey any command except my own. I don't care if they so much as tell you to move your seat out of their way; you look to me for my order first."

"Is--" My voice came out higher than I expected, and I cleared my throat to try again. "Are people going to be doing this... Dom-sub thing in public? Not, like... kneeling on the floor and stuff..."

"Not usually that far. It's kind of a faux-pas at these places. We're normally in the back room of a bar, and I know this place we're going to tonight. But there aren't closed doors to hide what we're doing. There's clear windows to that area. Like I said... not a kink party. Not even something where I'd feel like having you wear a harness like last time. Just not really the place for it."

"Okay... so it's casual," I said slowly. "But people... still do the power exchange thing in the bar."

"Hence the private room," Levi nodded. "It's kinda rude to normal patrons. Now... there's some people who take it too far at these events. But this group is pretty good about it. We don't wanna start getting banned from venues."

I sighed, starting to relax. "So what do you do at these meetings, then?"

"Talk. Meet other people like us. Make friends." Levi smiled at me, a glimmer in his eye. "And show off my precious new toy. Now... shall we go?"

Levi finished his drink and stood up to set the glass by the kitchen sink, leaving me flustered by his words as I got up. Halfway to the door alongside him, he stopped me dead.

"One last thing," he said sharply, tugging the silver ring at my throat. "No one touches your collar without my express permission. Not even to look at it. Excuse yourself and do not allow anyone to lay a hand on it unprompted. Understood?"

I nodded, feeling my face burn.

"Good boy. Let's go."

My chest was pounding the entire ride over to Philly, barely able to keep up with what conversation Levi offered me. His instructions hadn't given me a lot of comfort, only heightened anticipation as I imagined what could possibly happen... These were people Levi knew, right? At the very least, it sounded like Miss Red would be there. And it wasn't going to be like going to a party by myself. I'd be with Levi. He had given me these rules, not because he was throwing me into the water by myself, but because he wanted me to be prepared and show off my obedience and decorum. That's what it felt like, anyway. If I thought about it that way, then I should have been very proud of my position... I wanted to prove that Levi was good at what he did, that he was deserving of that behavior from me. And thinking about that just made my heart race even faster.

The bar we were going to was somewhere on the south end of Philadelphia, in a neighborhood with hardly any parking, where the old iron streetlights dyed the air copper and the pavement was a tessellation of worn brick. Levi left the car in the first street spot he found, and we walked the remaining two blocks over to our destination. On the way, I half-expected to see at least someone else wearing a collar like mine, or maybe a leather wristband like Levi's, but no one we passed looked like they were going where we were. I didn't even realize we had arrived until Levi started up the short step to a very normal-looking bar, pausing to make sure I was with him.

Inside, it was busy. Which was probably to be expected on a Saturday night, all things considered. The place was dimly lit, the ceiling strung with round, clear lights glowing with fiery filaments which only slightly illuminated the dark wood paneling on the walls. The patrons were loud over the sound of glasses on lacquered tabletops and the murmur of the radio. I stuck to Levi, feeling lost.

"Are you... sure it's here?" I asked, pressing close so he could hear me.

"Yeah," he replied, raising his voice slightly. "They're in the back. I know this is where Cass said they'd be... Don't worry, it'll be quieter there."

I found myself being steered, with Levi's grip firm on my waist. Before I knew it, we were at a large glass-paneled door with a curved handle and a wooden sign firmly attached in the center: "Private Party". I barely got a glimpse of this before Levi pulled the door open.

Immediately the sound dampened across the threshold. There was still chatter here, but much more subdued, personal and punctuated by brief laughter. When I got the courage to look around, I saw that this back area of the bar was occupied by two large tables with a pair of benches on either side, on which were seated a half-dozen or so people of various ages and genders. All appeared quite normal at first glance, but the longer I looked, the more each one stood out in their details -- a girl with rainbow streaks in her ponytail; a guy my age with a fishnet undershirt; a middle-aged woman wearing what appeared to be a large golden ring encircling her neck, and the man at her side with a matching key on a chain necklace. One man with long black hair in an undercut was sitting in a wheelchair, wearing boots as tall and handsome as Levi's. Before I got much further in, a squeal stopped me dead.

"Levi!"

Several people looked up at the voice at the same time as I did. Levi had barely gotten four steps into the room before he was assaulted by a girl half his size, who threw her arms around his chest.

"Oof! Yeah... Hello to you, too, Leah," Levi coughed.

"Where have you been?" the girl demanded, exasperated as she pulled away from him and seized him by the forearms. "Everyone keeps asking Wulf and Red about you every time we see them! I heard from some people who went to your store, the one in South Jersey, right? But I was wondering when you were going to come back and see us..."

The girl was talking a mile a minute. Her blonde hair was fluffy and pulled back with a pair of sapphire pins, the gems of which matched the color of her large, round eyes. Although the short dress she wore was prim and girlish, I couldn't help noticing the leather garters on her thighs, each with a heart-shaped metal ring, and her sharp stiletto heels.

"I've just been busy," Levi was saying when I returned my attention. "Honestly, the munches aren't really my thing anymore. But my boy wanted to come."

At these words, Levi tugged at my waist pointedly, and Leah's gaze immediately fell to me... and then, as others had done before her, to my collar. She clapped her hands to her mouth, voice muffled behind them. "He's yours?"

"Yes. Do you mind if we get out of the doorway?"

"No -- of course! Please come sit..."

Levi steered me again, ushering us over to one of the benches at the far corner of the room. There were several pairs of eyes on us, although not everyone in attendance seemed so fixated on Levi's arrival. He sat down, then nodded to me to take my place at his side, and I clambered onto the bench as the blonde girl sat opposite me.

"Ash, this is Leah," Levi told me, almost as an afterthought. "She's a Dominatrix -- a little different than someone like me. You're free to call her Miss if you like. Is that alright with you?" he added to Leah.

"That's fine," she nodded, brushing her hair back with her fingers. "It's Ash? God, you're cute... Are you on the group page with us?"

I looked at Levi, who shook his head and gestured for me to answer. "No... No, Miss," I replied nervously. "Um... sorry, I don't know what that is."

"She's talking about the online group. It's where these events are organized, mostly," Levi filled in. "No, he's never seen it, obviously. Ash is very new to the lifestyle."

Leah looked surprised at this. "How new is he? You're teaching him?"

"Yes. But he's taken to it better than I expected, to be honest."

It was odd to be spoken about as if I weren't there. But the words were encouraging. Levi talked about me like a beloved pet, and something about that, however dehumanizing, also gave me an intense feeling of pride.

"So how did you get involved?" Leah was asking, turning to me again.

I wasn't sure how to answer. "I -- um... well..." Once again, Levi made no motion to indicate he was going to speak for me. How did it happen? I demanded to be shown into the Tannery. "Well, it's hard to... know Levi for very long without learning about this stuff."