All Comments on 'If At First You Don't Succeed...'

a completly fucked up world. with only mean carachters (Pat and Rick) who even take the risk that somebody will commit suicide, just so they have fun and sex, is not, I repeat not a turn on. other criminals who give a shit fuck up the minds of more women without a remorse of course. of course you think I did a good thing and write a happy end. Did you ? While asshole couple got themselves easy out of the picture, we see a even more disturbed Jane who has lost all stability of a sane mind. The Don carachter you just folded the way so the story coold go on. Of course he would be tempted and fuck with Pat and Rick after not getting anything at home. But for sure he would have normally done something after the stunt they did with Jane. He even kind of said it when Rick called and he hang up. But no, Jane had not to say a word and he conveniently had all of a sudden no anger towards nobody and just fucks Jane. All in all the plot and carachters like this are no turn on at all. Rather a horror story than anything else. But you write good and if you don't use just mean carachters and other criminal acts to write a story. I'm sure you could write on hell of an erotic story here. ps: besides that, a story that long should be split in two ev. 3 chapters.

The title says it all!

Sick people do sick things.

Not very believable but an OK fantasy - well written.

Great story.

They have no anima. The spirit of human does notinhabit thoses bodies. They differ nothing from animals. No human characters on those depicted in this story. They could have been monkeys, or donkeys, or snakes.