If I'm Honest Ch. 10

"Deke!" Colleen's voice said to me on the other end of the line, sounding like she might have been in tears. "Oh thank fuck you answered. I was so fucking scared you were going to have your phone off or something and then I would've completely been up shit's creek because I desperately needed someone to talk to right now. Can... can we talk for a little bit?"

"Sure thing, Coll," I said to her. "What's on your mind?"

"It's Colton," she said. "I'm starting to think this open relationship polyamory thing is just total and complete bullshit, and that maybe he's just fucking using me to try and jumpstart his career."

"What makes you think that?"

"It's like he only wants to hang out with me if we're going to be seen in public," she grumbled. "Like, sometimes a bitch just wants to Netflix and chill, right? Once in a while, I just want to curl up in my grodiest sweats on the couch, crawl beneath a blanket, grab a tub of ice cream and watch some utterly trash television with my man, but with Colton, it's always 'We should go out!' 'Let's go to a party!' 'Let's go to a nightclub!' 'Let's get dinner at the fanciest fucking restaurant in town!' And if I try to sort of gently suggest I just wanna have a night in, he spends like the next hour or so trying to talk me out of it, and I do go out, I feel like shit and get cranky the whole night, and if I don't go out with him, he spends hours fucking guilt tripping me later."

"I mean, it is an open relationship, right? So if it's not working for you, you can just find another person up there to fill your needs, to be your stay-at-home buddy. Or you can try and break it off with Colton and see if someone else is more your speed."

"You're more my speed, but you're down there and I'm up here," she whined. "I wish you could just be up here all the time."

"It's, like, four hours by train to get there, Coll," I laughed. "It's not like you're right next door. I can't do that commute every day, you know?"

She let out a deep sigh of frustration. "I know, I get it, you're right. It just blows, that's all."

"Well, I miss you too, Coll," I told her. "I might be able to carve out a weekend next month to try and come up there again, if that's something you w-"

"YES!" she said enthusiastically, not even letting me finish the last word. "I mean, I love spending time with you, Deke, and any time you want to come up here, I'll make the time to make it work, okay? Send me an email whenever you get a chance with the days, and I'll start managing my schedule around it."

"I'll figure it out early next week and have something to you by Wednesday, okay?"

"Absofuckinglutely," she said, sniffing a little bit, as if she was feeling more herself again. "Thanks for picking up, Deke. I know I'm kinda a fucking mess some days, but it's nice knowing there's somebody out there who gives a shit about me. I gotta get back to set, but I sent you a hot little picture for you to look at when you're alone and have some time. And I expect to get a spicy one back, maybe one of you and that monster inside your new car."

I laughed, blushing a little bit. "I'll see what I can do, Coll. Take care of yourself, okay? I worry about you."

"I'll be much better once I see you again, Deke. Cya!"

"Why can't Vancouver and Seattle be the same place?" I grumbled.

Why can't day and night be the same thing? Harvey asked me. Might as well fight against the coming of the dawn. It'll get you just as far.

"And you're sure that-?"

Deke. Man. You gotta trust me on this, okay? Besides, did she ask about you at all in that conversation?

I inhaled a deep breath and then let out a deeper sigh. "Yeah, okay. One of us is a magic talking bracelet and the other is just the schmuck carrying him around."

You'll feel better in a little bit. It's almost time for your surprise.

"I dunno, Harv," I said, turning the Bugatti onto the street leading down to my cul-de-sac. "After that conversation, I may not be in the mood."

Derrick. You're gonna enjoy the shit out of this, because lemme tell ya, this is the biggest and most ridiculous thing I can throw at you. When people start figuring out they have a little bit of control over how I deploy my influence, they always want to overextend. Their eyes get way too big for their own good, and they make some mistake that's going to blow up in their face like they wouldn't believe. You, you figured out you could exert some force on how I did my thing, but you didn't pressure me to give you something absurd like most schmucks do. And since you didn't, well, I'm gonna give you the sort of thing that so many other dudes and chicks have asked me for, and that I so rarely give out, because after I do, I'm gonna black out for a bit.

"Black out?" I said, concern in my voice, although I'm still not sure quite why. "Look, Harv, it's cool that we're on the same page, but if this is going to hurt you, I don't want you to do it..."

Heh. Hurt me. You're a funny guy, Deke. Nah, it's not gonna hurt me, but I'm gonna take like several days to recharge my batteries after this, so don't think I'm gonna be around to chat. Don't you worry, though. Ol' Harv'll be back to himself before you know it. Besides, I've always wanted to try something stupid like this. Because if you had asked me for this, it would've been a blatant abuse of my powers, but since I'm giving it to you unasked, well, it's just gonna be a hell of a wild ride.

"You promise me this isn't going to break you?"

Deke, dude, chill, 'kay?

"What kind of ancient Roman bracelet says 'dude,' Harvey?"

The kind that's fucking thankful it never has to conjugate another fucking Latin verb ever ever again. What a stupid fucked up language. Anyway, I'm clocking out, so do me a favor and don't say no to anything for the rest of the night, okay? Just go with the flow.

"If that's what you want, Harvey."

My dude, I may be an inanimate object, but for once in my existence, I think I'm actually jealous that I can't experience this. Have fun!

Strangely, I could almost feel Harvey recessing back into the bracelet and out of my mind, like I could sense him shifting into recharge mode, which made me curious about what exactly he had planned for me, as the Bugatti pulled into my driveway. I pushed the button to open my garage door, and noticed that the curtains had been drawn on all my windows in the house, something I hadn't done when I left the house in the morning.

For half a second I was worried that I had an intruder in the house, but the house had a very good security system, so the only people who could've gotten into the house were people with that code, which included a couple of neighbors and a couple of friends. Also, Astro wasn't barking up a storm, so whoever was in the house was someone he knew and was familiar with.

My two-car garage still had my old car in it on one side, and had room for the Bugatti on the other. I felt a little silly driving the two door sports car around all the time, but I knew that Larry wanted to see me driving it regularly, so on days when the weather was manageable (which was less often than not in Seattle) I drove it into the office and back.

After getting out of the car, I pushed the button to close the garage door behind me and headed into the house, running into Astro as soon as I opened the door, his fluffy tail wagging happily as he bounced up and down, not quite hopping up on me but eager to show how pleased he was that I'd come home. The fact that he was in the house was also a bit telling, because most days when I went to work, I left him out in the back yard, and I knew for a fact that I had this morning.

"Heya boy," I said to my Husky, scratching behind the ears to make his tongue hang out and his tail thrash even more pleased. "Who's here? Should I be worried?"

"In here, Mr. King!" a familiar voice said from my living room.

I headed up the stairs and down the hall into my main living room, seeing Madison standing in the center of the room, dressed in her University of Washington cheerleading outfit that we'd had a bit of fun with five or six months ago. She had her hands folded behind her back, her stance wide, almost like she was ready to break into a cheer. She had let her coppery mane grow a little longer and it now hung down over her smallish tits, whereas before it hadn't gone down past her shoulders.

"Why don't you have a seat here in front of me, Mr. King?" she said, as Astro ran over to her, rubbing against one of her legs before he moved over towards his big cloth circle bed, hopping up onto it before shifting and settling, laying down with a soft 'woof' of resignation.

I set my briefcase down on the table in the hallway, then tossed my keys into the key bowl, set my phone down next to it, kicked off my expensive Italian leather loafers and moved into my living room. She was positioned right in front of the center of my couch, making it clear where I was supposed to be sitting, so I headed over to the couch and sat before her. "So what do I owe the privilege of your presence to, Madi?"

"Do you remember last week when I came around and convinced you to buy some raffle tickets for my cheerleading team's fundraiser, Mr. King?"

"Sure," I said. "You were worried your team wasn't doing that well, and you wanted me to buy a couple of the twenty dollar raffle tickets, and I wanted to help you out, so I bought twenty tickets. Why, did I win something?"

"You actually won the grand prize, Mr. King," Madison said to me, a beaming smile on her freckled face from ear to ear. "And since it's you, we decided to make the grand prize even... grander."

My face scrunched up, trying desperately to remember what any of the prizes on offer had been for the raffle, completely unable to come up with anything. It also felt a little warmer than normal in my house, something I was hoping wasn't me just panicking because I was alone inside of my house with Madison once again, and I remembered exactly what she'd asked of me last time. "I'm sorry, Madi, but I've forgotten what that was."

She rolled her eyes playfully at me, clicking her tongue chastising me. "Tsk tsk tsk, Mr. King. So the grand prize was going to be a group of the girls from the squad coming to wash your car, because what man doesn't want a bunch of cheerleaders in bikinis washing his car? But the weather's been so bad lately that it's just too cold for us to give you a bikini car wash."

"Oh, that's okay, Madi. If you want to just wait until-"

"Also," she said, interrupting me, "the only place we could wash your car would be out front, and well, that's just too public for what we have in mind, so we decided to do something else. Similar! But not quite the same."

"I just-"

She was determined not to let me get a word in edgewise. "So! We decided that we would give you a full house cleaning! A cheerleader maid service, as we gave your house a complete work over from top to bottom! Dusting! Mopping! Washing clothes! Fixing meals! Doing dishes! Vacuuming! We already cleaned the backyard of doggie land mines before you got home."

"You keep saying we, Madi..."

Madison giggled, nodding. "Sorry, I'm such a silly slut. I forgot to introduce your cheerleading housekeeping team for the next day! Girls, line up and sound off!"

From around the corner, six girls ran from my kitchen where they'd been hiding and lined up around Madison in the middle, three to the left of her and three to the right, each of them dressed in UW cheerleading outfits, standing in a pose very similar to Madison, although all of them had their eyes very clearly focused on me instead of looking straight ahead.

"Kelly!" the girl on the far left said. She was a pale skinned brunette with a slender build and perky tits beneath her top. She also had a silver ring through her right eyebrow. She'd put on a decent amount of makeup, with dark eyelashes and a deep red shade of lipstick on.

"Kennedy!" the Latina girl next to her said. Her black hair was pulled into pigtails that hung over each of her shoulders, and she was shorter than both Kelly and Madison, although also bustier. I imagined she was the one they put on top of the human pyramids.

"Kari!" the blonde on Madison's right said, easily the tallest girl in the lineup, with long powerful legs that I imagined were either the result of dancing or kickboxing, maybe both. Kari pronounced her name with a hard sound at the front, 'car' instead of 'care.' She had to be close to my height, give or take an inch on either side of 6' tall. She had sort of a hawkish nose, but it gave her face almost a warrior's look to it, like an Amazon. Her hair was braided into a tail that hung over one of her shoulders, a pink ribbon around the end of it, tying it off.

"Kasey!" the Asian girl on Madison's left said, about the same general size and build as Kennedy, although Kasey had blonde highlights and streaks running through her jet black hair that framed her face a bit like a lion's mane. Also I thought I could make out the outline of a barbell through one of her nipples through the cheerleader top.

"Kendra!" the brown-haired girl next to her said. Kendra had a bob haircut with her hair a warm shade of oak brown. Her face was rounded, and while she had the thickest arms and legs of any of the girls, she also had the largest chest, massive tits straining against the top that might have been a size too small for her.

"Kayla!" the girl on the end with wavy brown hair down to the center of her back said, her face also decked in heavy makeup. She had darker skin, not quite Asian or Latina, but maybe part Mediterranean or middle eastern. She licked her pouty lips and flashed me a saucy wink, wiggling her hips from side to side.

"I like to call them Vitamin K," Madison giggled, "because their names all start with K. For the next twenty-four hours, we're your team of cheerleader maids, and we're going to show you just how far our team spirit extends!" She was saying each word like she was trying to get an audience fired up, even though it was just me.

"So... I just stay out of your way while you're cleaning?" I chuckled. I mean, there were certainly worse ways to spend a day than watch a bunch of late teen/early twenty-something cheerleaders cleaning up the house. They all had to be somewhere between eighteen and twenty-two, considering they were all UDub students.

"Oh no, Mr. King," Kasey said. "We're a full-service maid team, so what ever needs you have for us to fill, we are all going to be happy to fill them."

'You have got to be kidding me, Harvey,' I thought at the bracelet.

Enjoy, Deke.

"In case she's not being clear, Mr. King," Kayla said with a grin, "that means we're all going to suck and fuck you before we're done with your house."

It was a Friday night that I hadn't made plans for, and now it certainly seemed like I was booked up until Saturday night, glancing at my watch, noting it was nearly 8 pm. "So a full twenty-four hours?" I gulped. "I don't know that I can keep up with you girls that long."

"Oh it won't be all the time fucking and sucking," Kennedy said. "We do have to squeeze in the cleaning and cooking sometime."

"One more thing, Mr. King..." Madison said to me.

"One more thing?"

"The grand prize was supposed to be a car wash by cheerleaders either in bikinis or their cheerleader skirts, but since we had to change the rules a little bit because of the weather, we're changing that one as well. Girls?"

Suddenly, all seven girls reached to their waists and pulled their cheerleader tops up and over their heads, tossing them into piles on either side of me on the couch, leaving seven pairs of marvelous tits exposed to my eyes, varying sizes and shapes, although I think almost all the girls had stiff nipples.

"I heard about this naked maid service once," Kelly said, "and I told Madi about it, and she said it would be super hot for us to do that for you."

"But I told her we had to leave the skirts on," Madi giggled.

"Which we are," Kari said, "but..."

All seven girls turned around in unison, bent over, reached behind them and lifted their skirts to show me their bare asses and exposed pussies, nothing on beneath the skirts. It was like a Rockette's flourish, all the exposed flesh before the girls stood back up and spun around to face me, each of them having a wolfish smile on their face.

"There's only one final rule, Mr. King," Kendra said to me. "Every slut gets at least one turn with you before 7 p.m. tomorrow."

"Nobody's gonna be mad if one of us gets more or less turns than the rest of us, as long as every single one of us gets at least a go," Madison said.

"And by 'a go,' she means 'a load,'" Kari giggled.

"We closed all the windows, so we'll all be doing chores until you come to have your way with us, Mr. King," Kelly said.

"Don't keep us waiting!" Kayla said.

"Okay girls, break!" Madison told them and all seven girls scattered, heading in different directions all over my house, each of them tittering with laughter and excitement.

Astro looked over at me, gave a tiny confused howl and then slumped his head back down onto his bed, his tail giving a single thump before laying still.

"You and me both, Astro."

I decided to walk through the house first, just to see what the girls were getting up to, as I prepared to enjoy Harvey's gift of Madison and her team of Vitamin K, knowing full well that by this time tomorrow, I was going to be utterly, deliciously fucking exhausted.

I wasn't wrong...

My plan was just to walk around the house and see each of the girls for a few moments in turn, but again, that was my plan, and the girls clearly had other thoughts on their minds. And it didn't help that Harvey was keeping a conversation going with me the whole time.

As much as this is a gift for you accepting my guidance, there's also going to be a lot of lessons for us to talk about during all of this, Harvey thought inside of my head. This whole thing will be a bit like speed dating, where I learn a lot of little things at once, all of which I can compile into picking better partners for you.

"At this point, I feel like you should know everything you need to know about me, Harvey."

You're a riddle wrapped in a puzzle circled by an enigma, Deke. I only know what I see and what you tell me. The voice in my head paused for a minute. And I don't know that I can believe everything you tell me, because you don't necessarily know what you want.

"I don't think you're going to learn a whole lot by throwing seven cheerleaders at me simultaneously, Harv."

Oh, you might be surprised. Each of these seven has at least an attribute or two that you've led me to believe you're into. Once you're actually fucking around with them, I can start to employ my skills and see what does and doesn't look like it's working in terms of your fates.

"Well, I've already hooked up with Madison, so you know she's not the one."

Not necessarily, Harvey said to me. She might have changed. The situation might have changed. Shit, you might have changed. It's highly unlikely, but it doesn't hurt to double check my work sometimes. I'm only a magical bracelet created by a Roman goddess who's mostly faded into obscurity by now. Sometimes I'm going to get things wrong.

"That's not a real confidence booster in your abilities, Harv."

Look, once I know, I'll just know, okay? I know how fucking weird that sounds, but you just sort of need to trust me on this.