If I'm Honest Ch. 12 - Finale

At that point in my life, I guess I just trusted Harvey with everything, because I opened the door without looking through the peephole. There could've been someone outside who wanted to hurt me, but I had been stirred from REM sleep, and that meant I wasn't thinking straight.

I pulled the door openly suddenly, and there, as promised, was the love of my life.

Her dark hair was soaked, plastered to her face, sticking to her as water continued to drip and soak the carpet beneath her. The carpet was a light shade of faded green, which meant I could see the path she'd walked from the elevator to my door, a snail's trail of waterspots left in her wake, the room service cart still off to one side of my doorway from where I'd left it. She was dressed familiarly in an Oakland A's track suit top and pants and as soon as the door was open, she pushed her way into the room hurriedly, rushing right past me, as I closed the door behind her. She had a single large satchel purse with her, and no suitcase.

It was Colleen.

"Before you say a single word, Derrick, I want you to just shut the fuck up and listen, okay?" she said, tossing her bag onto the couch with absolutely no care of how wet she was getting it.

What was she doing here, I thought to myself? How had she gotten here? How the fuck did even know where here was?

"I've been thinking, okay? I've been thinking a lot. I broke up with Colton a month ago, because every time we'd start fighting, I'd think to myself 'Why the fuck is he being so unreasonable? Not even trying to meet me half way? Deke would at least meet me half way!' And Colton and I were fucking fighting a lot!"

She unzipped the track top and threw it onto the couch on top of her bag, wearing a black and blue patterned sports bra on beneath it, as she kicked off her shoes and tugged off her socks, moving into the bathroom, turning on the light for a moment as she wrung out one sock then the other in the shower, hanging them over the shower curtain rod, making her way back out into the hotel room, continuing in her speech.

"And my thoughts kept running in circles around inside my head. Were we not together because you didn't want me, because I didn't want you, or because we're both fucking stupid? I know I told you I wasn't ready for a relationship when we first hooked up, but that was over a year ago, and I've grown since then! I've learned to talk out my problems way better than I used to, but more importantly, I learned how to give a shit about other people - what they're thinking, what they're feeling, what they want. We would've been a terrible match if we'd actually made a go at a relationship when we first met, because, well, I was a little bit of a shallow cunt. But hooking up with you made me want to be better."

Col flipped off the light in the bathroom, and made her way over towards the bed, pushing her pants down to shuck them off her slender, but muscular lithe legs, leaving her only in the sports bra and a pair of black panties that were much more everyday panties than sexy 'I want to seduce you' lingerie, not that I minded one bit. She tossed her pants over onto the couch, on top of her bag and top before turning back to look at me.

"Do you remember when you stood up to Nikki Adamsdale?" she said, grabbing my t-shirt by the bottom, pulling it up and over my head. "Not the sex stuff, because while all that was fucking spicy, I'm talking about how you called her out in a roomful of people when she was being kind of a stuck up bitch to a bunch of people who work in television, saying shit like television was a 'lesser medium?' I've never seen anybody do that kind of thing before, and frankly, it was the hottest thing I've ever fucking seen, even if I was frightened witless at the time."

She reached down and yanked off my boxers, shoving them down to the floor before nudging me to step out of them, while she pulled that bra up and over her head, tossing it onto the stack of soaking clothes that were still dribbling onto the couch in the hotel room.

"You didn't give a fuck that Nikki Adamsdale was the hottest fucking movie star you'd ever met. You didn't give a fuck that she earned more money last year than either of us will ever seen in our entire fucking lifetimes. You saw someone doing wrong, and you stepped in and you shut that shit down like a major fucking boss. And, if I'm honest, it pissed me off. Not that you did it; but that I didn't."

She pulled off the last of her clothes, the black panties that were only hiding things I'd seen before, and tossed them over into the pile before pushing me back into the bed, crawling in with me, wrapping her arms around me. I hadn't realized how fucking cold Colleen must have been, standing out in all that rain, because her flesh was chilled against mine, and the two of us snuggled up against each other and tugged the comforter over both of us.

"Why the fuck didn't I say something? I realized it was because I was afraid. Afraid of losing my position as an actress, afraid that if I said the wrong thing, the whole thing would come tumbling down like a house of cards, but how the fuck am I supposed to live my life that way? A life is not meant to be lived in a cage of fear, Derrick. It wasn't just that, either! You remember when we first met? I knew there was something off about that script, but I didn't have the courage to say so on my own! I needed someone else's validation to tell me I was right!"

Her teeth were chattering a little bit, but she was slowly leeching off my body heat, bringing her temperature up towards mine, our bodies mostly just resting against one another, her head resting on my arm. She hadn't told me it was my turn to talk yet, so I was letting her run with it.

"So what I've decided is that I'm going to stop letting people do the things for me that I should be doing on my own. I need to be ready to jump and leap into the fire, and whatever that means for me, my career and the whole rest of it, I don't even fucking care anymore. The show wrapped shooting for pickups for the second season a week ago, and I simply needed to get out of Vancouver, so I hopped on a plane and headed home, back to Surrey, to spend some time in Guildford with my mom and dad, and when I got home and went back to the room I grew up in, I started bawling my eyes out. Do you know why, Derrick?"

I thought she was asking me a question and was about to answer her, when she made it clear the question was rhetorical and just carried on talking.

"I'll tell you why. It was because I was afraid that somehow I'd fucked it all up between the two of us. I thought you'd likely moved on, found someone to fill the emptiness inside of you. You were too good a man to be alone for long."

She kissed my neck for a moment, nuzzling up against me, and again I was just about ready to speak when she continued talking.

"While I was crying my eyes out in my bedroom, I thought about what I'd told you after we'd first hooked up. Do you remember? Because I remember it word for word, like they were the most important words I'd ever spoken. I said, 'I'd like to see you again, but if I'm honest, I'm still at least two or three relationships away from having the emotional experience and maturity needed for us to work as a couple. We'd collapse at our first argument right now, and it would totally be my fault. Maybe we can be fuck buddies instead. If I'm honest.' But I've had a couple of relationships between here and there, and I think I've matured a great deal. And tonight, this very night, just as I was thinking about going to bed a little after midnight, I decided that I needed to talk to you, to find out if by some crux of fate you were single, to ask you if you wanted us to try having a real relationship. I needed to ask you if I could be your girlfriend and you could be my boyfriend, to tell you that that was what I very much wanted, and I was going to call you, but I remember you told me you were traveling a lot for the next few months, so I decided to use the phone tracking app we'd connected with earlier this year, and see where you were, so that I wouldn't be waking you up if I called you, and lo and behold there you were, just up the road, somewhere near London-Heathrow."

Her fingertips were smoothing through the hair on my chest now, not sexually but sensually, affectionately, and it was easy for me to feel the heavy callouses she'd developed over the last few months of doing her own fight scenes. I found it dead sexy.

"So I hailed a taxi and it brought me up here, but the range of that app is still broad enough that you could've been in any one of a dozen hotels. I didn't care. I would not be stopped. I marched up to the clerk of each and every one and demanded they let me know if you were staying there. I think some of them thought I was crazy. A few of them didn't want to tell me, but eventually I convinced them, telling them I was your girlfriend and wanted to surprise you. The rain was ungodly, and I just ran through it from one hotel to another, trying almost ten in total, before I mercifully found out you were here. The woman at the counter, Brenda - is that the Brenda you hooked up with when you first got Harvey by the way? She's quite the looker! Anyway, Brenda told me what room you were in and while she didn't feel comfortable just giving me a key to your room, she said that if I knocked on the door and asked you to let met in, she was certain you would."

Colleen's slender fingers had migrated south and were starting to tease against my cock, and I felt myself hardening in response to her caresses, as Col knew exactly how to tempo me however she wanted to, be it quick to finish or slow to tease, and it seemed like she was leaning towards the latter. She smelled of jasmine and sandalwood and just a tiny hint of clove, just like she did when we'd first met on that airplane eighteen months ago.

"So here I am, and I want to offer you everything, my heart, my spirit, my love, my very soul. I don't just want to fuck you Derrick King - although I definitely do want to do that again as well, and soon - but I want to love you, and I want you to love me. I want us to be in love with one another, in that grand dramatic fashion every girl dreams about growing up. I wasn't ready for it back then, when our paths first crossed, but I'm very fucking ready now. So don't say anything, but think about all of that while I thank you for letting me in tonight."

I was about to say something anyway but she dipped down beneath the comforter, sliding lower before I could feel her tongue grazing along my cock, which at this point was more than a little ready for action. Her fingertips closed around my nutsack as her lips moved to slide down the length of my dick, pushing her mouth all the way down until it was wrapped around the base of my shaft, keeping it there for just a second before she pulled her head back, slurping against my cock with absolutely filthy noises that were just barely muted by the acoustical shield the comforter was providing.

This wasn't a blowjob - this was an adoration, a mass, a religious service. She worshiped my shaft, making sure no iota of it went untouched by her tongue while her fingertips continued to roll and cradle my balls, gently kneading and massaging them as her mouth suctioned onto me, bobbing her head at a speed that insisted she meant business. More importantly, she knew exactly how to speed me up, slow me down and eventually make me lose control. I tapped her on the shoulder, a cue that I wasn't going to last long with her giving me the five-star treatment, but I felt her other hand take mine and fold our fingers together as she kept on grilling me with her lips and tongue. In the end, there was nothing to do but to give way, and when I started cumming in her mouth, I realized I'd never enjoyed being blown quite as much as I had that singular experience.

She pulled her head back up and slithered up along my side again, placing a fingertip to my lips. "Let's sleep now, and we can talk more in the morning. I want you to think about everything I said, and sleep on it." So she rested her head on my shoulder, her arm draped over my chest, and she had drifted off before I could even try and speak a solitary word to her.

'Harvey?' I thought.

Go to sleep, Derrick.

'Yeah, okay.'

I went back to sleep, and didn't dream at all this time. When I woke up in the morning, she was still there, although she had woken up a little bit before me, giving me soft and tender kisses as she moved to straddle me, the comforter still draped over her until she sat up, and exposing us to the cool air. The rain had stopped sometime while we slept, but that wasn't the first thing I noticed. The first thing I noticed was that Colleen had already slipped my cock inside of her, and was slowly swiveling her hips in a very unrushed and patient rhythm, as if she had intended for me to wake up to the sensation of being fucked.

"Hey there, sunshine," she said to me, placing both of her hands on my chest to make her breasts press together, pushing them towards me, her dark tan flesh on display, jiggling them as she started to pick up speed. "I was hoping to surprise you and wake you up like this, but I think maybe I moved too much."

My hands moved to caress along her smooth skin, feeling her pivot and roll her body down onto my lap. I think that may have been the first time I ever truly made love as opposed to fucked, and there was something kind and ginger about it, her eyes never once leaving mine, both of us smiling like a couple of lovesick teenagers. Her cunt felt like it was tailor-made for my cock, and as the pace started to quicken, she leaned forward and locked her lips against mine, our tongues spiraling together as her hips began to pop and pogo atop me. Her breathing was beginning to rush, and she made these adorable whimpering squeals that I'd never really noticed before, as her pussy slicked up and down on my dick, and felt my own orgasm ready to start tumbling down.

We climaxed together, and it just felt right.

Even after all that, I didn't say anything and she didn't say anything more, but we were both up, and there were still several hours before we needed to head to the airport and get on a plane, so Colleen ordered room service to have breakfast, and hilariously enough, Brenda brought it in for us, as Col answered the door wearing just one of my t-shirts, which hung down almost to her knees.

For reasons I still don't understand, she got a what was described as "the full English" although it didn't look much like breakfast to me, and I got a breakfast croissant with ham and eggs because Colleen had learned what I liked for breakfast during my stay over trips up to Vancouver. The two of us ate without talking, as if we were letting the gravity of the moment hang with us as an unbroken bubble that we didn't want to shatter.

After we'd finished breakfast, I was just about to say something when she lifted her hand up and held a finger to my lips. She had a sly, almost shy smile on her face as she moved across the room over to her bag. She lifted her clothes, which were clearly still damp, and moved to hang them in the bathroom for a second, before walking back to her bag.

"You know, when we had our fun with Nikki, I remember feeling a little bad about it afterwards, considering we treated her pretty harshly, but a few months later, she came to do her walk-on for the first season of our show, and she made a point to take me out to lunch where she and I had a conversation, mostly about you, and she told me something I'd never known," Colleen said, reaching into her bag, taking something out of it that I couldn't see. "She told me that the day after that you called to make sure she was okay, that you hadn't ripped or torn anything. She said she'd let it go to voicemail because she thought maybe you were going to ask for another go around, but the fact that you were just calling to check up on her... she said she'd never had anyone do that before. She sent you a text message to let you know that she was fine and thanked you for asking, telling you that she very much enjoyed your time together but wasn't interested in another go around. And you just sent back a message saying 'me neither, but wanted to make sure you had a good time - I'm not usually the rough type, but that seemed to be what you wanted from us - take care" and never contacted her again."

I chuckled a little bit and nodded, and was about to say something, but she lifted her left hand and held it out at me, cuing me to remain silent.

"You went from hard and ruthless to soft and caring within the span of a day," she said with a soft smile. "I didn't think to check in with how she took it until she came back to do her part on set, and that was months later. If you didn't have to be just one way or the other, I realized I could as well. But the other thing I realized... I knew when I saw you next, I wanted to give you everything, including something I'd never given anyone before. Lots of boys had asked, but I'd always thought it seemed a bit crude and vulgar, at least until I talked to Nikki about how much she had enjoyed it. Since then, every so often, I've started training with plugs, just a little bit. Colton thought I might have been doing it for him, but I just lied to him and told him it was just so I'd know what it felt like, and I never intended to try it with anyone. I'd always intended to try it only with you."

She moved over to the bed, where I was sitting on the edge of it, and then I realized she had a bottle of lube in her hand. She tugged my boxers back off, and then drizzled some of the clear lube onto my shaft, before reaching down and rubbing some against her asshole.

"Col, you don't have-" I wanted to say, but she brought her other hand up to my mouth, touching my lips to quiet me before I even got a chance to make the first syllable.

"That's just it, Deke. I know that I don't have to do this, but I also know that you're going to be gentle with me, and you'll stop if I ask you to stop. So I want you to do it. I want you to be the first, no, the only person to fuck me in the ass. I want you to have all of me. Will you?"

She hadn't lifted her fingertips from my lips, so I just nodded.

Colleen smiled and blushed a little bit. It was adorable, and my heart swelled even more as she pulled her hand away, tossing the lube onto the bed then moved to slide up on her hands and knees next to me, her feet hanging off the edge of the bed.

I moved to stand up and get behind her as she looked over her shoulder at me with a grin that just wouldn't quit. She didn't seem to want to say anything, so neither did I, as I moved to rub the length of my cock between her incredibly pert asscheeks, and watched her shiver. I tilted my head to one side, just giving her a chance to back out, but she nodded at me, encouraging me to go on.

With the head of my dick pressed against her tan rosebud, I started leaning forward and felt my prick working its way inside of her asshole, as she trembled, a guttural moan trembling from her lips before she uttered a single "Fuck!" in her adorable British lilt, at which point I just held still, but she lifted one of her hands and moved it in a circle, trying to get me to keep going, so I kept working my way inside of her ass.

As much as I didn't want to overload her, she was ridiculously tight and I was more worried about her overwhelming me, but I wanted her to enjoy this, and as constricting as she was, it was also a wonderful feeling.