If It Wasn't for Bad Luck ...

"Fine, but you have to bait your own hook," Jerry teased.

"Please! Show some respect. We're experienced fisherwomen," Bailey said. "Just because we have manicures and paint our nails, doesn't mean we're squeamish. If we can touch a guy's smelly dick, we can put a shrimp on a hook."

The group broke out laughing. The guys got the bait shrimp and took chairs down to the beach. The women went to the beach ballroom to some rods and reels. They walked right in.

"Oh, I didn't know anyone was sleeping in here," Gerri said.

Elizabeth said, "He's asleep. Let's grab the gear and go."

They found the equipment and quietly made their way to the door. Harry snorted like a bull elephant and turned over onto his back. When he rolled over, he left the sheet behind.

"Oh, my God!" Gerri gushed. "He's got an erection!"

"A case of morning wood," Bailey explained.

The cousins laughed. Elizabeth said, "Not bad."

"I'm no cock expert," Gerri said. "But that looks like a serviceable piece of equipment."

"True that!" Bailey said.

Their conversation woke Harry. They saw his eyes open. Elizabeth said, "Morning, uncle. We're just getting some fishing gear. Bye."

The three women hurried out of the room with the equipment. Harry yawned and watched them go. Then, he glanced down at himself and said, "Oh, God! Not again. Three more people saw my dick!"

He came out for breakfast, chatted with people for a while, and then returned to the room. He had a bad headache and was hungover.

^^^

Around noon, his Uncle Paul banged on the door and said, "Hey, Harry. Lunch is ready." He opened the door and found Harry dressed in the same clothes he had on yesterday and perched on the edge of the bed. He said, "The kids caught some fish. Bill is cooking them on the grill. Come on, you have to eat."

Harry grunted, stood, and followed the older man down the stairs and out on the deck. Everyone was there. He heard some snickering from the female cousins who had seen his dick. He saw Aunt Linda whispering to Uncle Tom. He assumed all conversations were about him and his unfortunate flashing incidents.

They had lunch. The fish was great. Gerri, Elizabeth, and Bailey explained in detail how their fishing technique, the double drop bottom rig, allowed them to out fish the guys who were using a fireball rig with brightly colored floats.

"Our set up had multiple hooks. We won and the guys had to clean the fish and they will be bringing us beers as we lay in the sun on the beach," Bailey said.

Uncle Paul asked, "Harry, has your bag arrived?"

"No."

"I brought an extra suit. You can use it," Paul said.

Aunt Lorraine said, "Won't your swim trunks be too big?"

Paul said, "He can use the drawstring to snug up the suit. He'll be alright."

Those that weren't in bathing suits, including Harry, drifted to their rooms to change. The others made their way to the beautiful, sandy beach. Paul dropped off the suit.

Harry pulled hard on the string and was able to get the trunks to hang on his hips. He grabbed a towel and joined his relatives on the beach. He spoke to everyone, drank, and swam.

The family played a fun, coed game of touch football on the beach. They talked smack and laughed a lot. Harry had two awkward moments. The first was when he reached out to touch tackled Bailey and she made a jump cut to avoid him. His right hand became entangled in her bikini top. He undid the bow on the horizontal straps that held her top in place.

She ran off. Her top, no longer restrained, went one way and her breasts became uncovered and went another way. The eighteen-year-old ran down the beach with her boobs exposed. She spiked the ball and declared, "That's a touchdown, suckers!"

Harry stared at her pert, tanned breasts and rosy pink nipples. He ran up to her and said, "I'm sorry. It was an accident!"

The confident teenager was slow to place the bra over her tits. Then, she reached behind her back and tied the straps. She said, "No worries. Wardrobe malfunctions and other accidents occasionally cause us to expose our bits." She gave him a wink and the game continued.

His second awkward moment came when Harry was running with the ball. He juked Ian and almost got away from him. In desperation, Ian reached out and snagged his bathing suit. The drawstring broke and the trunks came down. Harry tripped and lay sprawled on the sand. Eight of his relatives laughed when they saw his shaved penis and bare ass.

^^^

Dinner was another family barbecue on the deck. Afterward, two of Harry's aunt, Lorraine and Nicole, and his great Aunt Judy, herded him to a secluded part of the deck.

Judy said, "There are plenty of fish in the ocean."

"Huh?" Harry responded.

Lorraine said, "You know, there is someone for everyone. I had a terrible heartbreak before I met your Uncle Bill. And look at us now, we've been married 35 years and have three beautiful children."

"Yes," Nicole said. "You mustn't give up. What do you guys say, 'You can't get a hit if you don't swing the stick'."

"If you fall off the horse, get right back on," Judy offered.

"Oh. Right. Thank you, ladies," Harry said. He got the gist of the conversation. To get them to leave him alone, he said, "I appreciate your concern for me. I won't give up on love."

"Exactly," the three older women said in unison.

Grandmother April and a blond, athletic woman in her early thirties walked up to Harry and the ladies. The newcomer was pretty. She had a rich, deep tan that was easy to see since she wore a bikini top, short shorts, and flip-flops. She had an easy manner, a quick smile, and playful blue eyes.

April said, "This is Clarisa." She quickly introduced her to everyone. Hello's and handshakes were exchanged. Everyone sat.

April said, "I met her outside the liquor store. I had bought a fifth of Jack Daniels and she was sitting on a bench talking to AAA about her car trouble. I sat down to wait for Carla to finish her shopping. We got to talking and sipping whiskey while the auto club came and jump-started her car."

"Actually, it's my Grandmother Hazel's car. I'm visiting from Annapolis, Maryland."

April said, "What a coincident. Harry works in Annapolis." She gave him a look that prodded him to speak.

"Yes. I'm an accountant and I work for the city."

"I'm an information professional." She laughed jovially and added, "That's a fancy term for a librarian. I work at St. John's College."

The ladies were silent and left the two unmarried Marylanders to continue the conversation.

Harry said, "I considered going to school at St. John's. The idea of reading and discussing the Great Books of Western Civilization appealed to me, but I chickened out and went to the University of Maryland and got a practical degree in accounting."

"It is a unique school," Clarisa said in such a way that showed she bore him no ill will for having chosen to go to a more conventional school.

"I love that your mascot is a platypus and that every year you play the Naval Academy in croquet."

"And win a majority of the matches," she said proudly.

"Would you like a drink? Beer?" Harry asked, smiling broadly.

"Your grandmother and I had quite a bit of whiskey. I should have something without alcohol."

"Sweet tea? Coffee?"

"Sweet tea sounds nice," she said.

"I love coffee," Harry confessed.

April popped up and said, "I'll get your tea and coffee. I need to stretch my legs." She went to the kitchen and they stayed seated and talked.

Grandma April returned. Aunt Linda and Ian were with her. They were carrying trays. April presented them with an offering of raw carrots, celery, broccoli, and a dipping sauce. She said, "Care for a crudités?"

"Thanks," Clarisa said. She and Harry selected a carrot, dipped it in the ranch dressing and ate it.

With a flourish, Ian presented the second tray, smiled and said, "Care for a crudi-rat?" On the serving tray was a dead rat. Clarisa screamed, "Ahh!"

Then, she realized it was a fake and said, "Oh, I get it. April Fools."

Everyone laughed. Linda placed their drinks on a small table in front of them. She turned away from them and waved at someone. Clarisa picked up the tea and brought it to her mouth. Before, her lips touched the glass, she stopped, smiled, and said, "Very funny."

She reached into her glass and pulled out a plastic ice cube. She held it up and said, "A classic April Fools joke. The bug in a fake ice cube trick."

The others chuckled. Harry said, "Not only is today, April Fools Day, but it is my grand's birthday. She is the queen of pranks. I'm sure she organized this. I'd hoped everyone had gotten this out of their system."

Grandmama said, "She's fresh meat. I had to do it. It's my birthright."

Harry frowned at her, turned to Clarisa and explained, "This morning was a series of April Fools jokes. I was served a side of rat with my scrambled eggs. I might have eaten it, but someone had glued my silverware to the placemat."

Linda looked over her shoulder and said, "Harry, you like milk in your coffee, don't you?"

She turned to face him. She had attached clip-on toy wooden keg taps to her bikini top. She pushed her right boob forward and asked, "Do you want skim milk?" She shifted her shoulders, bringing her right breast back and shoving her left tit forward and said sweetly, "Or do you want regular milk?"

Clarisa lost it and burst out laughing. The others joined in. Harry waited them out. Then, he smiled and said, "My cousin Carla played that trick on me at breakfast. My family is full of comedians and they love their April Fools jokes."

"Here, Uncle," Ian said. He placed a small metal pitcher of milk and two packets of sugar on the table. He gathered up the trays. He took them and the rat away. Harry and Clarisa drank their drinks and their conversation resumed.

Dinner time came. Clarisa accepted Harry's offer to join them.

After dinner, there was more talking and more drinking. They switched to adult beverages. Someone turned on some music. People started dancing. Clarisa swayed to the beat of the music in her chair.

Harry asked, "Would you like to dance?"

"Yes. I love to dance," Clarisa said.

She was a great dancer and coaxed an acceptable performance out of Harry. The couple only had eyes for each other. That allowed April and Nicole to sneak behind Harry. The two women grabbed his oversized, borrowed swim trunks and pulled down. The poorly repaired drawstring broke and once again, his penis was exposed.

"Ta-da," April sang out.

"Grandma!" he screeched. His dick flopped into view. It was a healthy size and thickness. No doubt due to his flirting with Clarisa.

Six new women saw and smiled at his penis: April, Judy, Lorraine, June, Nicole, and Clarisa. Clarisa became the twenty-fourth person in twenty-four hours to see his dick.

She responded by shucking her shorts and panties off, and then, removing her bikini top. Harry was red-faced and confused. He stood there with his mouth open and his swimming trunks down around his ankles. He croaked, "Why? Why are you getting undressed?"

She stood there confidently in her birthday suit. She had medium-size, firm breasts. Her nipples were centered on her orbs and pointed forward. They were hard and long. Her waist was tapered and her belly was so flat that her hip bones jutted out. Her sex was shaved. Her legs were thin, toned and tan. Like the rest of her body.

"I'm naked because I enjoy being naked. I am a nudist. As you can see, I have a full body tan."

Harry looked her over again from head to toe. "Oh, yes. I see you have no tan lines." His dick twitched and grew hard expressing his admiration for her tight body. He said, "But why?"

He meant 'Why now? Why here?" She interpreted his question differently as if he was wondering 'Why be a nudist?'.

She laughed good-naturedly at his consternation and his erection. She said, "You know, there are health benefits to being a nudist. It's good for your skin. Good for your mood. It improves your sleep and it also reduces anxiety. When everyone is naked, everyone is equal. Who cares what car they drive? What labels are on their clothes? You also see that no one has a perfect body. It helps you accept your imperfections."

"I see, but why are you naked now?"

"Your grandmother told me you were interested in the naturist lifestyle but hesitant to try it. She said she'd give you a nudge and when you were nude, I should join you and be your guide."

"Not a very gentle nudge," he griped.

The two young people looked at the ninety-year-old. April said, "Was I wrong, Harry? All anyone here is talking about is that they've seen your penis. In the house, on the beach, and now I have seen it. If you don't want to be a nudist, how come so many people have seen your cock?"

Harry paused and thought about what she said. "Twenty-four people have seen my dick in the last twenty-four hours. I've had a series of unfortunate accidents that have led to people seeing my cock. It has been embarrassing and humiliating. I've never given any serious thought to being a naturalist. Though, I do like sleeping in the nude. Grandma is trying to help me and Clarisa is an interesting, hot chick. We have lots in common. I'd like to spend more time with her and seeing her toned, nude body is no hardship. Maybe I should give it a go."

Harry addressed his grandmother and said, "Grandma, you're right. I was afraid to come out and say it. Maybe my interest in nudism was working on my brain on a subliminal level. What else would explain how I kept finding ways to expose myself? It was a cry for help and a way of expressing that I wanted to try nudism. Thank you for helping me realize and admit it."

April beamed.

Harry smiled and reached out to Clarisa. He said, "Let's go for a walk on the beach."

She smiled and took his offered hand. They walked away. His erection led the way. He said, "So tell me, when did you realize that you wanted to be a nudist?"

She answered, "It wasn't something I wanted to do. It was something I needed to do."

"I see," Harry said. They two of them continued to talk as they walked away. The others were no longer able to discern their words.

June went to April. She hugged her and said, "Thank you, for what you did. My son arrived here a heartbroken man. Fresh off a bad break-up. You've refreshed his spirit and found him a new girl. Thank you. Thank you."

April smiled and said, "I'm glad I could help. When I met Clarisa, I thought she was a special woman. I thought they'd be good together."

Lorraine said, "And hopefully now that he's found someone to be naked with. The rest of us won't have to see his penis!"

"Amen!" the other women said in chorus and laughed.

Harry led Clarisa to an unoccupied, secluded part of the beach in between sand dunes. He turned to her and said, "I like you. I want to kiss you."

"Then go ahead." She gave him a sly, Mona Lisa type smile.

Harry wasn't sure whether she was pleased or amused by his words. He went for it anyway. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She pressed back. He wrapped his arms around her slender frame, crushed her breasts to his chest, and planted one on her.

"Emm," she moaned in response. She ground her hips into his body. His large, hard boner dug into her flat belly. He was excited and oozed pre-cum. His dick slid across her stomach as they rubbed their bodies against one another.

The kiss continued. Harry's hand roamed her back and eventually found her firm, yoga butt. Her hands captured his face framing his face. Then, they moved north and she ran her long, delicate fingers through his brown hair. Her fingernails scraped his scalp and caused his whole body to tingle.

Harry went down on his knees, pulling her down with him. Her lips broke free and she giggled with glee enjoying the passion he brought to their encounter. He gushed, "You're gorgeous."

"I'm attractive, but not leading lady material. The beauty regimen to move me up the scale towards beautiful is too expensive and time-consuming. My hair is thin, my skin is dry, my boobs are uneven and don't get me started on what's wrong with my eyebrows. Having them threaded would help, but a girl has to draw the line somewhere otherwise it's thousands of dollars and thousands of hours spent in the pursuit of what society considers beautiful."

She saw a look of dismay cross his face. She touched his cheek gently and said, "Thank you for the compliment. Sorry I went off on a rant against society and the expectations they impose on women. I strive to be honest, real, and kind. Which explains my being a nudist. I take my clothes off, bare my body and soul, and say 'This is me. Unadorned and unvarnished.'

"I was amused when your grandmother struck up a conversation with me at the shopping center. I had time to kill so I sat and listened to her concerns about her favorite grandson. We talked, shared, and laughed. Then, we drank and both got buzzed.

"I came here with her because I was intrigued. You've exceeded my expectations."

Harry laughed and said, "Oh, so for a man who, for the last twenty-four hours, has been constantly showing his penis to people, I'm above average?"

She laughed and said, "Yes. The more I got to know you, the more I liked you. And you are a great kisser."

She pushed him on his back and said, "Time to find out if you know how to use that dick or is it just a stage prop." She leaned over and took his penis into her mouth.

"Oh, God! That feels great. Clarisa, I haven't had sex in months and seeing you naked, kissing your soft lips, has me on the verge of exploding. It's like I'm a teenager again and you're the first girl I've seen naked."

She pulled off him, giggled, and said, "I got that impression when you squirted a gallon of pre-cum on my belly. Chill. I'm going to suck your dick and you're going to come like crazy. Then we will make love."

She took him back into her mouth. In sixty seconds, he screamed, "Oh, God. Oh, God! I'm cumming!" His ejaculate hit the back of her throat and made her gag. Her eyes watered, but she hoovered his dick as it pulsed and shot off in her mouth. She swallowed it all.

She released his shrinking cock and let him bask in the glow of his orgasm. When his eyes opened, he said, "Wow! Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

She laughed recognizing that he was joking. She lay beside him and said, "No, but you can make it up to me."

"I will. Starting now."

He rolled on top of her and kissed her hard. Her lips had a slightly salty taste. He thought, "I guess that's me."

He didn't make a fuss or break off the kiss. They kissed and groaned for a few minutes. Then he slid down her body so he could suck on her tits. Her pink nipples were hard and longer than any he'd ever encountered.

He loved them. The rubbery protrusions were perfect for sucking, nipping, caressing, and thumbing. He did all that. She moaned. He felt her racing heart and heard her labored breathing. Her ample breasts were twin spheres of wonderful, warm, soft flesh. They were a delight to look at and to touch. He did both and then got on his knees between her legs.

She looked at him with an expression of hopeful anticipation. His tongue found her clit on the first lick. Her body shuddered and a soulful groan escaped from her mouth.

"Oh!"

"Mmmm," he moaned appreciating her nectar. Her fluid was fresh, tart, and complex. At first, he was overwhelmed by her acidic nature, then other flavors came through, a sweetness and an earthy musk. If he had to choose one word to describe her it would have been 'delicious'.

"Oh. Oh. Oh," she cried as his tongue and fingers explored her sex. She instantly seemed to be wet and then, abundantly wet. He enjoyed himself. He savored her juice and delighted in slowly delving into her pussy and examining every facet.