All Comments on 'If You Wanna Be Happy'

That was sooo soooo sooo disgusting on so many levels! WTF has happened to demander mentally?? He has gone form ok to a gutter snipe in his writings!

What are complete waste of time and effort.. What is the point of the silly story? the song ....if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life .... "has absolutely no connection to the story which is about it is about weird 3 way and 4 way marriages

Very creative. 5 stars.

more poly and femdom bullshit

if she uses that, things will end badly

He liked her. And she likes him. And him too. He likes her but is a little jealous of him. He lets her go. She enters. Eventually she and her are with him. But he will let her play a little. She has sex with him. He is a little jealous of him. He and she split. She goes with him along with her. She and he and she talk babies. He comes back in from the cold and she finds him. He and she kiss. She’s still taken with him...... YAaawn. Who cares? There is never any real tension in the story, which there should be in a LW-story, at least a little.

See where this is going? In JMHO this is demanders (and I have loved some of their other stories) weakest work. In comparison to other of their work that I’ve 5-starred (so I’m sort of grading on a curve against their self) I can only give this 2-stars.

Not the worst story here.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Another demander douche bag. I "demand" you write better stories! 1*

Was a pretty good story in the beginning and then a continued dive to crap. 2* for effort

Like the song, a 4, not a 5. That being said, I was really glad they didn't resume the threesome. Beth's loyalty to Todd is admirable. It wouldn't be demander, though, given their original polyamory, if he didn't throw in a little kink at the end. Which I found funny, amusing. Whatever they want to do will be fine, since it'll be just the two of them. So this was a satisfying story, though I'd have preferred multiple first person narrations instead of the omniscient third person. But that's me, not a judgment on demander. Out of 23 stories, I've considered 14 of them to be keepers. Including this one.

Five pages of nothing.

Complete waste of the author’s time and writing ability, and disappointing waste of tine from my perspective. I read it because of the supposed basis of the song. It might have been better if he had followed the lyrics of the song more closely, but with the new lit guidelines it probably would have ended up with the same bs ending.

Dang, I wish my wife would let me fuck a 30 year old blond with big tits every 2 weeks.

By the end of the story, I did not care to read the finale. A permanent 3-some is just a wet dream for immature boys. And story could have used some smoothing.

That was a mildly entertaining tale until…….Brad came back….and Becky decided his cock ruled.

.

Overall…dumb story. One of your weaker ones.

.

Barely 3 ***

I’ve liked most of your work so far, this one? Not so much. Reasonably well written, but story line was a real turn off.

Not really my cup of tea but too fucking weird and readable to give less than a 4.

Interesting stroy line that did not go, for the most part, like I thought it would. Kudos for that. The first part of the story narrative was abismal. For some reason, you used a staccato style of short, single thought sentences. I've read all of your stories and you usually write better than that - not sure what's up with that. After a while, you settled down into a more flowing narrative. I'm not sure why so many commenters don't get your underlying premise of buyers remorse/grass is greener that we all have at some point. That part was well done. 4* overall...

The mechanics of the writing, very good. But to me the writer created four very unlikeable characters. Still it grabbed and held my attention to the last word so easy five.

I like the concept. Of all of these flawed people tryiing to make things work. In the end it falls a little flat tbh. Not your best work by far. It was a good attempt. But this one failed in my opinion. Please keep writing.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Not my cup of tea. I would say that there is a BIG difference between a partner letting their partner control some things because he loves her and wants peace, and 1 person dominating the other. Anal sex is NOT something everyone likes, and pegging a man could destroy the relationship. This story really isn't up to your standard.

I enjoy a lot of your stories, I enjoyed this one despite its odd relationship theme BUT the last two pages took it from a 5 to a 2. The last pages (or from 1998) were unnecessary and killed the relationship between Beth and Todd.

The pegging thing? Really? After Beth promised not to ever hurt home she hides the strap on away with a smile.

And Becky revealing her husbands kinks? Big no, no for any loving relationship. Those intimate kinks are kept between spouses not for revealing to casual friends so the husband can be humiliated and embarrassed.

Becky’s revenge? Beth should be more understanding of Todd’s feelings and taken it to Becky’s and told her to shove it up her ass literally. Couples are supposed to back each over up not let others risk their marriages.

For the last pages alone 2 stars given with disappointment

Eecchhh!

An interesting, well-told story. A story with fem-dom overtones without becoming demeaning and cruel.

Also (and even more important), it may be unique - on this site, anyway. It's great to read a good story I haven't seen many times before.

I glanced at some other comments, and have to say that's not how I interpreted the last paragraph.

Come on, guys - get real! She already said (and meant it) that she wouldn't hurt him. I took her reaction as her response to a joke sent by a friend, not an intent to do it.

Too creepy!

Todd was the only one worth liking.

I don’t judge people on their kinks. What they do behind closed doors is their business. So I won’t grade this poorly because Brad figured out he likes it up the ass from his woman. And I support people who want to try poly. Maybe someday it will work for some people.

But I absolutely hate cheaters. Becky is just a totally broken gutter slut. Throwing away years and a marriage because she remembers one night Brads big cheating cock. She’s really a despicable character. Somehow this is all ok.

2*

~Enkidu

Sorry, usually like your writing. This, not so much.

*2. You had a higher rating until the last page! Found some silly spelling/typing errors through out the story. Either read over what you've typed or get an editor/proofreader. The lack of trust & communication was bad enough to bring this down to a level that makes this story one of your worst efforts!

I think what this story is about is right here in this segment

"Beth left when Becky settled down. Becky felt empty, though. All through her married life she had a shimmering image of her life with Todd and Beth. She thought of it as an ideal, and when the chance came, she wanted to get it back. Todd's rejection hurt. But she was a survivor, and she still had Brad. She loved him. She also loved how she had come to control him in the marriage."

The truth is Becky is empty, she never learned how to have a real relationship, one that can survive lifes ups and downs and not just on the endorphin high of good sex. Becky doesn't have a partner, she takes hostages and while Beth has quirks of her own Todds putting his foot down when offered the chance to have Becky again shows how Beth and Todd ARE partners and Beth respects his feelings and doesn't cross that bridge with Beth, and even doesn't cheat on Todd (Even though the opportunity is right there.) What Todd and Beth do they do as equal partners (And yes it's weird but it's consensual and Beth backs off when Todd says no) .

And I also remember how Becky had to be dragged away from her boss by Beth and Todd which shows what an immature person she is, going to the next shiny object like a Magpie instead of a grown adult woman. Did you notice how while Becky seemed as smart and talented as Beth and Todd in school it was BEth and Todd who did the actual programming and work while Becky stayed away from that area and took a job that was beneath her. I think that's why this story has generated so dislike is Becky truly is that empty shell, reacting to what's around her and letting those feelings control her instead of being a responsible person who made a commitment to Beth and Todd. Interesting concept how it all played out, it stands unique in the LW genre as there is no real punishment (Brad being broke and impotent, the CEO getting burned in a court action and going bankrupt.) Instead, this trio moved through life with Todd and Beth finding meaning and fulfillment in their lives together, Becky returns realizing she's wasting a lot of her life in meaningless pursuits.

Got weak and slimy at the bottom and the ending was meagre. A pity it had some good run.

Captcha

Absolute horrible characters. You went down the wrong path with this one.

To be honest this was a total crash and burn. Couldnt get beyond page 2. It did absolutely nothing for me in any respect.

From the comments I'm glad I didnt slog through the rest of it.

Ending ruined it.

means the entire relationship he thought he had with both was a lie. They both were willing to hurt him.

Becky's revenge??? His wife, who promised to never hurt him, decided her new strap-on was "Becky's revenge." So... what? Does that mean she going to force a pegging on Todd as revenge for turning Becky down? So sad. What a hateful husband she has; he only wants to have sex with his wife! Of all the nerve!

.

I guess that's no longer a compliment, huh? Wanting to be monogamous is nothing for Beth to be proud of?

.

You snatched failure from the jaws of victory: I enjoyed the story up until then. 2 stars.

Non-monogamous relationships can work if - big IF - all involved are informed and willing consenters. Todd has made it clear that even though he's willing to play a submissive role at times there are limits to what he will consent to. He was willing to walk away from Jane, Inc. when he realized that Becky would inevitably be tempted by Bart into violating those limits. He was willing to divorce Becky when she eventually did violate them with Brad. And if Beth gives in to temptation and violates them with either Brad or Becky, he'll divorce her as well. Todd is nothing if not consistent. And because Todd and Beth are, as the author says, "super-rich" and Todd is insightful, there will almost certainly be a rock-solid prenup with provisions that kick in if he or Beth go down the same road Becky did.

This is one of the rare times I agree with anonymous. The last two pages disappointed me. There wasn’t any intensity in the breakups. I’m surprised that Todd didn’t tell Beth how he felt, with all the joint vacations, and socializing. I’m equally surprised that Beth, who seemed perceptive, didn’t pick up on Todd’s discomfort.

Original and interesting storyline well executed. Good job.

I'm usually a fan, but this one.had nothing for me.

That was no where as good. I don't get the more than two in a marriage crap and screw the "alpha male" crap most of these guys are only into themselves, that's why marriages with this type fail. Just a bad story all the way around.

Well constructed and a good read.

Todd HAD a set after all ---

Some control Becky has over Brad if he has a lover.

Was wondering why this was poorly rated, seemed OK, a little offbeat but OK, aaaaand then we got to restraint. It made sense for Becky, and she actually might have gotten Todd to go along with it pre-throuple, but it didn't really work with their more mature characters. Hmm maybe Todd can put on the gear and d-p Beth when he wins the wrestling matches.

I really must heed my own admonition to avoid LW's that aren't 4's.

Can't say I blame Todd for not wanting a renewed hookup with Becky. She treated him shabby. After all is said and done she's a tramp. Clever story. LP

Probably one of the most complicated interpersonal relationships on this site. I didn't know how to rate it so gave it a 4*. I could justify almost any rating. I liked and disliked all the characters. All truly human in that their motives were not single faceted but quite complicated. I couldn't identify with any of them, but I could sympathize with all. Life is certainly in flux and doesn't stay constant as we progress through it's labyrinth and what works today won't necessarily work tomorrow. Well assembled with no obvious flaws.

Not into this stuff. Seems the author is or they would not produce so much of this stuff. When I saw the way it was heading I speed read to the end. Its needs a warning at the start as to what drivel is in the story. Again this is swinging which a lot are against.

The last cutsie paragraph didn't help. V nice restraint, yet insufficient burn.

Becky apparently always has a grass is greener mentality. When married to Todd and with Beth, as soon as Brad comes back all she can think about is sex with Brad and how great it was. She was going to cheat anyways soon with someone else. The fact she got up and ran away with Brad seemed ludicrous and basically invalidated her marriage to Todd. Her experiences with sex seem to be dictated a little by her emotional state. Then she goes off with Brad and has a less than ideal marriage. Now she has become hard-core dominant while letting Brad have a young thing on the side twice a month to reclaim his masculinity. Both have cheated on each other multiple times. By the end it is clearly that (relatively soon?) after marrying Brad she looked back at her marriage to Todd and time with Beth as the ideal marriage. The sex with Brad may have been better in the beginning given her emotional amp but now it swings the other way that she has been with Brad for years. Hence jer pathetic play at the end. Complex relationships but she tossed away an ideal marriage for a passable one. When shut out after moving back unable to get back to her dream, she says she is a survivor. Buyers remorse.

Thanks for your writing.

85% of marriages that try swinging end in divorce, the rate goes up to 100% when one of the spouses is coerced into it! That means swinging, swapping,sharing, or an "open" marriage IS a death sentence to basically all marriages. That must be a huge part of the allure of it, the immanent certainly of death! Why else would people use a 10 round pistol-"imaginary" remove 1 round and then play Russian roulette? Immediatly proving the level of intelligence of woke modernist ideologies that push such stupid propaganda!

Was go8ng so well then u blew it

Please stop writing. This story almost made me hurl.

Did the author finally get bored too? That ending was disappointing

Bloody hell i just realised i read all that crap!

Still a shitty ending.

Beth is on the verge of divorce, she just doesn’t realise it yet

Still 3/5 no more points

Beauty = Narcissism 5*

I said a couple of months ago that Beth was on the verge of divorce but did not realise it yet.

Reading this story again, lm sure of it now. Once Beth brings out the strap on, she’ll find out who Becky’s Revenge is really for.

It’s not for Todd

It can be a curse to have a beautiful wife. Especially if they like dick.

Oh a three way story, I've not read many of these on here, as a story I liked it I can see that it’s very likely that it’s near the truth in a lot of 3 way relationships, it starts well, but seldom ends well.

Liked the characters and plot