I'm Mad as Hell...Get Off My Lawn!

There's no rage like the rage felt when a hardworking man doesn't have extra money enough to buy his beer and the loving mother and wife doesn't have money enough to buy her cigarettes. There's no rage like the rage felt when a husband and wife can't bury their child and/or bury their heads in the television after their cable was disconnected for non-payment. As much losers as they obviously all are, there's no rage like the rage felt when the last hope is thinking and believing that the lottery tickets they're holding are all winners but turn out to be all losers.

There's no rage like the rage felt when people realize that the game was fixed, politicians cheated, and the deck was stacked against them. In the way that Boston had their Tea Party, the nationwide revolt is in the making and the American revolution is on the way again. With change coming, the end is near for Buffy and Muffy. Instead of having a two party system, the Republicans combating the Democrats, we need to have a one party system, the American Party. We need to have a political party that is equal for one and for all, whether rich or poor, and black, brown, yellow, red, or white. Enough is enough. It's ridiculous that an American must be a billionaire or have hundreds of millions of dollars in campaign contributions to become President.

"God bless America! The land of the superrich!"

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"Look out! Best you back the fuck off."'

Best you get the fuck out of the way because there ain't no police force or army going to save your rich, white, old, wrinkled ass when the revolution comes knocking at your mansion door. It's time the scales of justice and fairness were turned to help everyone instead of just a select few. It's time we all had the same equal opportunities that are only given and available to the rich, the superrich, and the top one percent.

It's like that movie, Network, when Howard Beale, played by Peter Finch, tells people to stand up from their chairs, open their windows, stick out their heads, and yell at the world. That movie was made in 1976 and nothing has changed. If anything has changed, the economy for the middleclass has gotten worse. If anything has changed, we're all much angrier than we were 40 years ago.

"I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

There's only so much abuse that anyone can take before an internal switch inside malfunctions. There's only so much abuse that anyone can suffer before they cannot turn the rage off to bring themselves back from the brink of doing something they'd regret doing for the rest of their lives. Our prisons are full of those people, mostly angry minorities who couldn't take it anymore. With money not budgeted for mental health programs, education, and general welfare, too many angry people are ticking time bombs waiting to explode and they all are in possession of illegal and unregistered handguns.

"Gun! Get down! He has a gun!"

The man racked and leveled his shotgun.

"Get off my lawn!"

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Tell me this. Anyone? Instead of hearing from someone talking intelligently about the issues, let's hear from a rich, white, arrogant, elderly Republican for once.

Ready? Here are my questions.

Why don't we have money to fix our bridges and our roads when we have billions of dollars to build planes that don't fly, tanks that don't work, and to give the Devil, Vice President Chaney, a multi-billion-dollar, no bid contract to Halliburton?

Answer: There's no answer for that, just disgrace.

Why don't we have clean water and clean air for all? Flint Michigan is not the only city so polluted with lead in their drinking water.

Answer: There's no money in having clean air and clean water. There's more money to be made in having dirty air and polluted water. Just ask China.

Instead of admitting that global warming is a real and dangerous, there's more money in saying that there's no such thing as global warming. There's more money in building an oil pipeline from Canada to Texas while polluting our land and contaminating our ground water along the way. There's more money in deep sea drilling for oil, even if they have to do a massive cleanup after a huge, oil spill that pollutes our water and contaminates our fish. There's more money in Fracking and in Strip mining. There's more money in allowing factories to dirty our air and pollute our water. Besides, most of our factories have moved to Mexico, India, and China anyway. We're all relatively safe...for now.

Why doesn't everyone who wanted a job, have a job?

Answer: There's no money in employing everyone. There's more money in sending our jobs overseas to third world countries to take advantage of the cheap labor and less stringent government standards and watchdog agencies. Those people are willing to work a 60-hour work week without overtime and/or benefits.

Why doesn't our country, the richest country in the world educate our children for free?

Answer: There's no money in giving everyone a free college education. There's more money in attracting rich kids from other countries with parents who can afford to pay the full tuition without expecting scholarship money from the colleges and universities.

Why doesn't our country, the richest country in the world, have free healthcare?

Answer: What? Huh? Free healthcare? What are you crazy? Are you on drugs? You're lucky you still have Obamacare, you lazy bunch of entitled freeloaders.

With all of the billions of dollars spent on research, why can't pharmaceutical companies cure cancer and diabetes.

Answer: Duh? There's no money in curing cancer and/or diabetes. Instead, pharmaceutical companies sell us medication that will eventually kill us. Instead of curing us, our HMO doctors pedal painkillers and unnecessary drugs, drugs that have dangerous side effects.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

MIRAPEX for restless leg syndrome warns of hallucinations, increased risk of gambling, as well as sexual and other overpowering urges.

"I imagined a monster while driving my car back from the Nevada casino where I had non-stop sex with three prostitutes, doctor, but I no longer have restless leg syndrome. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't believe me gambling and cheating on her had anything to do with the side effects of MIRAPEX."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

ABILIFY used for Bipolar disease and Schizophrenia may cause trouble swallowing, coma, and/or death.

"The good news is that even though he died after the coma he was in, he's now free from his Schizophrenia."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Flowmax is used for an enlarge prostate to stop frequent and unnecessary urination. It may be worth the runny nose, dizziness, and decrease in semen to not have to get up every hour during the night to pee.

"The good news, doctor, is that I don't have the need to pee as much. The bad news, doctor, is that while having sex and trying to cum, which I never did, I dripped snots all over my lovers face before passing out from dizziness."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

ALLI a weight loss aid that causes gas and an oily discharge along with increased bowel movements, an urgent need to have them, and an inability to control them.

"I've lost a lot of weight, doctor, but I keep shitting myself. What do you suggest?"

"Adult pampers," said the doctor.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

VERAMYSYT treats allergy symptoms but causes nasal sores, nasal fungal infections, glaucoma, and cataracts.

"My allergies stopped, doctor, but I can't see. Doctor? Are you still there? Hey, where'd you go?"

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

ORTHO-NOVUM is a birth control pill that may cause liver cancer and causes benign but dangers liver tumors that can rupture and cause fatal bleeding.

"The good news is that you're not pregnant but the bad news is that you have liver cancer and will die soon."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

ADVAIR is used to treat asthma but the side effect is asthma related death.

"The good news is that he no longer has asthma but the bad news is that he's dead," said his widow.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

CHANTIX is an anti-smoking aid that causes psychotic nightmares and an increase risk of suicide.

"Well, if you're dead," said the doctor. "At least you're not smoking. Look at all the money you'll save for your funeral when you finally kill yourself."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

ACCUTANE for acne causes depression, aggression, and suicide among a dozen other side effects.

"His skin looks perfect. There's not a pimple on his face," said his mother viewing her son in his coffin.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Harvard University and many of our top universities and colleges have endowment funds large enough to send tens of thousands of needy children to college for free. Their endowments are bigger than some countries gross annual budgets. How is that fair that Harvard University should have so much money, not pay taxes, and snub their noses at our children in need of a quality, college education? Rather than give scholarships, rather than invest in America's youth, Harvard would rather enroll rich kids from overseas and add to their multi-billion-dollar endowment fund than to give Americans an opportunity at having a better life?

How is that gratitude for not paying taxes? As far as I'm concerned, Harvard needs to leave Cambridge, Massachusetts, along with MIT, Massachusetts of Technology, and find shelter in another country to see how different they'd be treated. They both take up a lot of city services and real estate in Cambridge and don't help the city with their budgets by not paying their fair share of taxes. Harvard and all colleges and universities with huge endowments should be taxed. They're just another conclave for the superrich. It's time the superrich started helping the less fortunately up by their bootstraps instead of stopping on our heads with their $3,000 pair of imported shoes.

How is that fair? How is that right? Our colleges educate wealthy foreigners instead of our own children? Yet, in these times of budget crises, we foot the bill for having them squat on our land without contributing their fair share of tax dollars. Enjoying yet another tax loophole of the superrich, adding even more money to their already overflowing coffers, our college and universities are non-profit and don't pay any taxes.

"Seriously, are you kidding me? What the fuck? How did that happen? When did that happen? Where was I? I didn't get that memo," said Maxine.

Between subsidizing the Catholic Church and subsidizing rich colleges and universities, neither of them subsidize the elderly, the needy, and the indigent. The Catholic Church owns vast amounts of property throughout our country but they don't pay a penny in taxes. Why doesn't the Catholic Church, an organization who can well afford it, pay their fair share of taxes. Don't they use our community, city, state, and federal services? Don't they use our fire and police departments? Why do they get to thumb their noses at the public good and at the IRS? With priests, nuns, bishops, cardinals, and even the Pope with their greedy hands out, other than molesting our children, what does the Catholic Church contribute to our communities and bring to our table?

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

With the help of the NRA enabling people to kill, handguns are America's greatest equalizers. The handgun is the instrument of getting even, receiving payback, and resulting in death. The handgun is the one weapon that makes a nobody a somebody. Handguns make the smallest man the biggest threat to the biggest man.

"Gun! He has a gun! Get down!"

Before you bash my story and write nasty comments, I believe in the Second Amendment. I believe whoever wants a gun, whether handgun, rifle, or shotgun for sport or for protection, should have a legally registered firearm. Only, the present gun laws penalize law abiding citizens while making it easy for criminals to buy illegal, unregistered, and stolen handguns. At the very least, we need to close the gun show loopholes to keep handguns out of criminals' hands. We need to stop the flood of handguns crossing our borders from other states and other countries. Why can't we control the flood of illegal firearms? Seemingly, anyone can buy an illegal handgun on the street for fifty bucks.

In the old days, a criminal who stole anything had his hand loped off. A rustler who stole cattle was hung by the neck. Instead of paying to put criminals in jail, after being tried and conviction by a jury of peers, we need to return to the justice of the old days. Those caught with an illegal, unregistered, and stolen handgun, submit to having their hand cut off. Caught again and lose another hand. Caught a third time and you're executed by lawfully registered handgun owners.

"Get off my lawn!"

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"Oh, for gosh sakes, don't blame the manufacturers of handguns," said the manufacturers of handguns. "Handgun manufacturers do their best to help the economy by employing people and by paying their fair share of taxes. Moreover, handgun manufacturers donate their latest weapons to police departments for free."

Maxine didn't know that handgun manufacturers were so altruistic by helping the economy, enabling people to get ahead by giving them jobs, paying their fair share of taxes, and donating firearms to the police for free.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "My mistake. How stupid of me to blame handgun manufacturers?"

Maxine looked around to see who else she could blame. She continued to look for who was responsible for the sad and violent state of America's current affairs. She looked at the National Rifle Association, strangely enough, an association that registers way more handguns than rifles. One would think they'd change their name from the National Rifle Association to the National Handgun Association.

Even though the NRA safeguards those statistics as proprietary information, they won't share those statistics of how many rifles versus handguns are registered with them. I'm willing to bet the NRA has more registered handguns than rifles. Further, I'm will to bet that there are more unregistered handguns in this country than there are registered handguns. Seemingly, everyone has a handgun but for the victims of handgun crimes, assaults, shootings, and death.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, don't blame the NRA," said the NRA. "The National Rifle Association is doing its duty to God and country by keeping us all safe in protecting our Second Amendment rights."

Now a real conundrum, with the NRA so good in protecting God and country and in protecting our Second Amendment rights, instead of being so bad, seemingly, the NRA is good. Yet, still needing to blame someone, Maxine didn't know who she could blame.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "My mistake. I didn't know that the NRA had my best interest at heart. How stupid of me to blame the NRA?"

Then, Maxine eyed the real culprits, the lawmakers.

"There they are! Let's get them. Run you fat, old bastards! Run!"

Whether a handgun, a rifle, a shotgun, or an automatic weapon, each year 35,000 people die from gun death. More than any war, more than 350,000 people have died from being shot just from 2000 to 2010. If we went back twenty years, fifty years, or one-hundred years, whether accidentally or intentionally, how many people would we find have died prematurely and unnecessarily from being shot to death?

An intermediary who worked as a lobbyist and who was savvy to how all things work in Washington, stepped forward to moderate in favor of the lawmakers.

"Don't blame your representative in Congress for not passing gun laws with real teeth and for not banning military grade assault weapons. Cutting off their noses to spite their faces, there's no money in them doing that," said our public servants' representative with smugness. "They all need the big business and PAC political donations they can get so that they can continue not to represent you and to not publically serve you. Just because politicians are greedy, mother-fucking assholes, self-serving, sons of bitches, and dirty bastards, they need to feed at the trough too. Besides hunters need a machine gun to shoot Bambi in the forest."

The hunter looked at his friend proudly holding his AK-47.

"Did you get him?"

The deer was torn to shreds a hundred yards away.

"Did I get him? With this gun shooting 600 rounds a minute, I shot the shit of that dear," said the hunter.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Like most Americans who bury their heads in the sand and don't bother to protest, boycott, or even vote, Maxine threw up her hands in defeat. It wasn't much of a fight. With our political officials having all the cards to play, she couldn't even play the game.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "My mistake. How stupid of me to blame the politicians, I mean, the public servants for not passing stricter gun laws? They're just doing their jobs, kind of, not really, well, not at all."

Maybe she should blame the inanimate handgun. Maybe the death of so very many innocents are the fault of the handgun. Surely, the handgun is, at the very least, indirectly at fault and indirectly responsible for killing so very many people each year.

"Don't blame the handgun," said the handgun lovers. "The handgun is just an innocent implement of death. Instead, blame the person who pulled the trigger and fired the handgun."

With no one left to blame, it seemed idiotic that the blame would solely fall on some faceless, nameless shooter. Where's the recourse in that? By the time we blame the shooter, he or she has already pulled the trigger, committed the crime, and killed someone. The blame needs to go further up the line so that we may stop all of this unnecessary carnage.

"Oh, sorry," she said. "How stupid of me to blame the handgun. My mistake. I get it now. It's not the gun but the shooter."

Yet, maybe the blame should be on you and me for not protesting, boycotting, and/or voting. There's strength in masses but we're all too busy living our little lives and not carrying about who is reaching in our pockets and stealing our money. It's time we all took note. It's time we all took interest. It's time we voted those self-serving, greedy, and arrogant politicians out of office.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Then, as if being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused was not enough, factor in the utter hopelessness and the despair of the dismal economy. There are no more good, decent paying, full-time jobs that have benefits. Gone. They're all gone and, this time, the white collar middle class took the biggest hit.

After the lawmakers worked their hardest to bust the unions, all of our jobs have gone overseas to third world countries. If you do find a job that's not a low paying, part-time job with no benefits in the service industry, you're at the mercy of your employer. You've opened yourself up to even more abuse by someone who hangs a paycheck and homelessness over your head.

"And when you're done cleaning the toilets, take my dirty laundry to the cleaners," said Maxine's boss.

Maxine looked at her boss with horror, hurt, and shame.

"But I'm your Office Manager, not your office cleaner and/or personal assistant," she said. "I run the office. I'm not here to take care of you."

He looked at her with arrogance mixed with anger.

"What? Are you complaining? If you don't like your job, then quit," he said. "I'll have your job filled before you even clean out your desk. Matter of fact, you're fired. Get out!"

Not even hearing the sound, nor feeling the recoil, nor even smelling the gun powder, Maxine didn't feel the pain when her hand was powder burned by the discharge of her handgun. Maxine didn't remember pulling her handgun from her purse. She didn't remember shooting her boss dead. With blood everywhere and his brains staining the wall behind him, looking as if someone else had shot him, he was dead.