I'm Not Gay, I Just Want a Cock

This fantasy has been growing inside of me all of my life to the point where now, as a man, husband, dad in my mid-40s and more comfortable with myself, I can actually write the words out loud: I want to have sex with another man. I don't see it as the kissing or caressing kind. It's the put-his-cock-in-my-mouth kind. I give his big, beautiful full-headed cock the attention it has always yearned for. I begin by cupping my mouth around the warm and silky mushroom head, tongue going around it and ever so slightly into the head's hole. "This is really happening," I gasp silently inside myself, as I look at the man above me with lusty confidence, and purposefully plunge between his legs, spreading and slightly lifting them to allow me to work. I kiss and suck his balls, at the same time nuzzling his cock with the side of my face against his inner thigh. I look at him again, but he doesn't see me. His head is back and his eyes closed.

I feel his hands on the back of my head, gently but firmly guiding me back to the tip of his now fully hard cock. I put my mouth back on the still-glistening, purpling head and look down the barrel of his perfectly straight and veiny cock. I loosen my mouth from around the head and take him further, guiding myself down the shaft, feeling the contours of the penis like little speed bumps. I suppress a gag reflex, eyes slightly teary, as my face reaches his trimmed pubic mound. I breath in his must from my nose. I tighten my mouth and throat muscles around all of the cock. I hear a moan from above. I relax my muscles and slowly glide back up his cock, releasing him from deep inside my throat and mouth. The feeling is even more intensely pleasurable in this direction, the ridges of his penis feeling somewhat different leaving my mouth, almost like another cock (yes, please!) altogether.

While the man, whoever he was, is enjoying my first cock sucking foray, this experience was all about me. My fantasy. My pleasure. My lasting experience. I grabbed the base of his cock with my right hand, jerked his shaft a little with my left, and put him back in my mouth. This time not stopping at the pleasure-dome that was the head, and quickly taking him halfway, then three-quarters, and almost to the top of the head. Then back down, again suppressing a gag, right back down to his root. Repeat. Faster. Jerk him. Repeat. Faster.

No one said a word, but we knew I would finish him in my mouth. Or throat. Or both. If I was going to do this, suck my first cock, then I was going to do it right.

I've tasted cum before, but it was my own. Jerking off, thinking about someday doing exactly what I was doing right now - I've got a big, beautiful hard cock in my mouth! - I would clean my load from my hand and midsection with a tissue or ten, and wait for my cock to got soft. With my thumb and index finger I'd glance the top of my penis and put the remnant drips of cum to my lips. I can't say I loved the taste, but it completed the experience.

That is, until now. I was taking him fast and hard and deep in my mouth. He was moaning the "Fuck, oh fuck! Jesus!" you'd expect to hear in porn, his legs tensing around me. I sensed I had only seconds, a head bob or two, to prepare. I steadied the head of his cock with my cheeks just above my throat, and jerked the shaft with my right hand. I felt his cock twitch, and then enlarge ever so slightly. I could feel his every sinew in my mouth.

I felt a filling-in sensation, and then a warmness as his cum slowly fell further down my throat. To my surprise, I wasn't choking. It wasn't until his cock started to lose some of its iron-like stiffness and withdraw from my mouth that I tasted his cum. It was runnier and sweeter than I imagined. I swallowed that too. Like I said, I was going to do this right.

I prefer women, and I love eating pussy - I am quite oral! - but this experience would not and should not diminish that. Why are so many man-on-man sexual experiences, especially in mainstream porn, cast as "gay" when the same between women are not?