I'm Not Gay Pt. 01

My mother was born in Spain and my dad Canadian with a British heritage. They met at university and my mom introduced him to her and her family's naturist lifestyle. My mom was firm that her husband-to-be had to embrace naturism and that they would raise their children in that lifestyle.

Initially, Dad was not thrilled, but mom had won his heart and he would do anything for her. His first encounter with his mother and father-in-law was awkward, but quickly changed and he embraced the freedom of no clothing.

I'm the second of two children, my sister being two years older than me. We grew up in that lifestyle and seeing my parents and sister nude was as normal as seeing birds fly.

All went well until puberty, but mom and dad guided us through that period of change. My friends knew that we were a nudist family, but when non-naturists visited, we would all be clothed.

In the summer, we would vacation at nudist resorts and there is a clear separation between naturism and sex. I seldom saw a male get aroused and on the few occasions I did, the person covered up or it was during sports and the erection came and went.

Another time or two occurred when a man was sleeping on the beach or by the pool and it was a natural thing that happened during sleep.

In my late teens, I dated two different girls and although we never had intercourse, both of them loved to kiss and we would kiss for hours and hours. Neither was comfortable with naturism and that was the reason for our breakups.

Summer was soon approaching and being single, I agreed to go with my mom and dad on their summer vacation. Half way through the trip, I did something taboo and out of character.

Mom and dad were at the beach and I was lazing at the pool. I was keeping well hydrated, to the point that nature called. I slipped on my water shoes and walked the short distance to the change room. My bladder was about to burst as I stepped up to the urinal and sighed as my pee flowed.

I performed the mandatory shakes, ensuring that there were no droplets left. What a relief that was. I walked over to one of the sinks and began washing my hands. While doing that, a tall man with dark hair walked in and over to a urinal.

I could see him in the mirror and guessed he was in his late thirties or early forties. His shoulders were broad, which led to a slender waist, rounded bottom and long legs. A quick glance isn't a sin, but watching him as he walked towards the sinks was.

His face was clean shaven, his chest had a soft covering of dark hair and below his tummy was a flaccid, fairly thick around uncut cock. I'd never stared like this before, nor experienced a warm flush while looking at another male. My last two girlfriends had this affect on me and to say I was confused would be a gross understatement.

He ran the water in the sink next to mine and turned his head towards me.

"You are aware that it's impolite to stare?"

I turned in his direction. "Yes. Sorry. Really, I'm so sorry."

He raised his wet hands in the air. "Whoa, slow down. In public it's impolite, but here, with just us two is okay."

"My mom would have a huge problem differentiating between public and private when it comes to staring."

"But your mom isn't a guy with an attraction to other guys, so it's normal to at least peek," he said.

"I'm not attracted to guys," I said defensively.

He smiled. "Are you sure? There was a time when I thought that as well."

"No, really. I'm not attracted to guys."

He soaped his hands and dried them with a towel. "Okay. Let's start again," and he held out his hand for me to shake.

I reached out, taking his hand. "My name is Peter and I'm sorry for looking."

"I'm Shawn. My unit is 145 and you have an open invitation to drop by at any time."

I watched as he left, noticing how smooth and fluid his walk was. I've never been attracted to guys,, but there was no denying that the sight of him had stirred something inside me.

I'd hoped that jumping in the pool and swimming would take my mind off of Shawn, but if anything, I couldn't stop thinking of him. He said I had an attraction to guys and perhaps he was right. I had warmed at the sight of him, but perhaps it was my hormones running wild. Maybe I needed to get laid, or at least find a girl who would stroke my cock.

But, he walked and talked with confidence and his smile was as nice as a fall sunset. I stayed in the water until the skin on my fingers was a mass of wrinkles and while stepping out of the pool I wondered, why would he invite me to his unit.

Was he with a girlfriend or wife, or with another guy? He all but said he was gay or at the least had an interest in guys. Life was becoming way too complicated.

I helped dad barbecue hamburgers while mom went to the cafe to purchase fries.

Dad was just over six feet tall, had salt and pepper curly hair on his chest and trimmed pubic hair over an average size penis. Seeing him nude was more normal than seeing him clothed. Mom would always compliment his good looks and she said I had a great combination of his nose and her eyes and lips.

Mom's hair was a shimmering dark black and through the years there were many guys that gave her a look. She was beautiful on the outside and even more caring and beautiful on the inside. Many times dad would say that I was like her and I took that to be the height of compliments.

I was still troubled by the incident in the restroom and my parents had always said that they were there, at anytime, to listen to me or my sister.

"Mom, dad. Something happened this afternoon that's bothering me."

"What's that, sweetie?" mom asked.

I related to them about staring at a guy in the restroom. I told them that the man had just brushed it off, but I felt guilty.

"Peter," mom said. "You know I'm a real stickler for people that stare, mostly because I've felt many eyes on me and it makes me uncomfortable. At your age, your experience is limited and there is a great deal of self-discovery that hasn't happened."

Mom continued. "Don't be hard on yourself and treat everything as a learning experience."

I was about to tell them about the warm flush that went through me, but there were some things that parents just didn't need to know. The thought of being attracted to the same sex was one of them.

Changing the subject seemed like a good idea. "Dad, great job with the burgers and great fries, mom."

Mom laughed. "You know I didn't cook them. Gheesh, burn fries once and pay for it forever."

Dad winked. "Just once?"

I helped clear the table and with the dishes, every now and then the numbers 1, 4 and 5 playing in my mind.

Mom and dad had gone for a walk and I sat outside with a diet soda and one of mom's paranormal romance books. This one was titled "Cry Wolf" and it captured my interest from the first page. I learned about wolf pack hierarchy... concepts of alpha, omega, beta and subordinate, along with dominance and submission.

I tried to relate those concepts with my last two girlfriends and it just didn't seem to work. I initiated kisses with my first girlfriend, but my second girlfriend took the lead every time. I preferred my second girlfriend's approach because I didn't have to worry about rejection and since she started the kisses, I knew she wanted to kiss and wasn't just going along with it.

I woke the next morning to a note on the kitchen table, my parents informing me that they were going to tour the countryside and not to expect them back until dinner time. I showered, sipped a glass of juice, devoured a bagel and wondered if I should walk by Unit 145.

My cock twitched at the thought and it was either telling me to visit or to stay away. During my teen years, I thought I was normal and there was no indication that I might be gay. I'd never been sexual with another guy and being masturbated from Jen felt a thousand times better than when I did it myself.

But, I can't deny the warmth that flowed through me when I saw Shawn in the mirror and it wasn't just his cock, it was his shoulders, his chest, the look of confidence and the swagger of his walk.

I wasn't quite nude as I left our unit and walked on the curving path to the units in the one hundreds. I was wearing sunglasses and walking shoes, feeling the morning sun and the wisps of a fresh, clean breeze over my body.

I walked past Shawn's unit several times and entered one of the cafes on this end of the complex.

Shawn was sitting at a table, a coffee and a chocolate donut on the table in front of him and his phone in hand.

He looked up and smiled. "Morning Peter. Do you have time to join me?"

"Sure," I said. "If you don't mind."

"Not only don't I mind, it would be a pleasure to have you in my company. Would you like a coffee, tea or something else?" he asked.

"I'll get a tea for myself," I said.

"Nonsense, my treat."

I got a small towel from the rack, placed it on the bench and sat while Shawn went to the counter for my drink. He stood tall and must have said something funny as the server gently tapped his arm and laughed.

As he turned towards the table, I purposely looked out the window, fearful that if I hadn't looked away I would have stared at him from head to toe.

He set the tea in front of me and moved the creamers, milk and sugar in my direction.

"Are you here with anybody?" he asked.

"I'm with my mom and dad, our unit is close to the kidney shaped pool."

"Close to where we met yesterday," he said.

"Yeah, my learning experience."

"Learning experience?" he asked.

"I told my mom and dad about my faux pas and my mom said that everything a person does is a learning experience, not something that is necessarily considered right or wrong."

"She sounds like a wise lady," Shawn said.

We chatted for over a half hour, bouncing from subject to subject, from naturism to sports and to sexuality.

"Why do you think I'm attracted to guys?" I asked. "I've never felt that way about another guy and definitely never been sexual with a dude."

"I've been attracted to both guys and girls and I've been sexual with both as well. I don't think I've got any special gifts or insights, but I do have years of experience that you don't."

"You don't look that old," I said.

He laughed. "I hope I still have a few more good years left in me." He continued. "I was flattered that you were looking at me in the mirror and it wasn't just the fact that you were looking, but it was the look in your eyes as you were looking."

"The look in my eyes," I said.

"Yes. It's difficult to explain, but your eyes had a dreamy look. It's like your mind was processing something that you were experiencing as pleasurable."

The warm flush I felt yesterday was slowly spreading through my body again and although I tried to stop it, I was horribly incapable of doing so.

"Let me tell you a story...

When I was about your age, perhaps a little older, hitching wasn't the taboo it is today. Whether a blessing or a curse, I was hitchhiking home and got picked up by a man who turned out to be forty-five.

Can't remember the type of car it was, but it had a bench seat in front, not like the bucket seats of today. He talked about sports and his job as a sales representative and all the travelling he did.

I listened to him and for the most part, looked out the side window, but when I looked at his direction, I noticed his hand was inches from my leg. He slid his hand to my leg and rested it just above my knee.

"It's okay," he said.

He kept his hand there for a few minutes and then slid it higher until it was over my crotch. Part of me urged him to stop, but part of me liked his touch and didn't want him to stop. I didn't say a word, my arousal spoke for me.

His hand gently took mine and he guided it between his legs. There was a noticeable bulge and I felt a warm flush wash over me.

"My house is nearby, if you would like to go there. I promise not to do anything that you don't want me to do and I will stop immediately if you ask me too."

My mind was racing. I didn't think he would harm me in any way, but two males having sex isn't like it is today and even today it's not open the way it should be and like you, I never was attracted to guys.

I didn't say yes and I couldn't say no and minutes later he turned the car into a driveway.

He turned to me. "Your body shows arousal, but your mind is filled with doubt. I can teach you many things, or I can gladly drive you home and wish you all the happiness the world has to offer."

"I'm not gay," I said.

He smiled warmly. "I have a wife and two children in university and I'm not gay either."

I opened the door and he shut off the car engine.

Shawn took the final bite of his donut. "Would you like to join me back at my place?" he asked.

"I'm not gay," I said.

He smiled warmly. "Gay is just a label and when it comes to sexuality, nothing is as simple as a label."

"I would like to go with you, but I need a moment or two before I can get up."

Shawn laughed. "You mean get down."

I could only guess how red my cheeks were by the warmth I felt flowing through them.