All Comments on 'Impact 06: of Annunciation'

The way all erotic works should be done...the best.

Another lovely chapter. Thank you!

While I am loving the story, I find the foreign language (in any story) to be a PIA when there are no translations. You must know what they are saying when you write it into the story, why not include the translation in parens or italics or something. I get why a writer would want to use a foreign language for scene building but I find running back and forth to google translator gets in the way of the story. Just my 2 cents worth. Still.....

5/5

J

No confusion here. I love this rom-com. Three interconnected elements resonate in no particular order all made possible by fantastic writing: The humor is served in so many delectable ways — in this chapter alone bawdy dialogue (e.g., Sarah and Kip), sassy one liners, thinly disguised sarcasm (e.g., Claire’s comment about Carl Andre), and a laughing out loud bathroom stall scene — after all, we’ve all been there; not necessarily masturbating while sharing selfies (but who knows), surely eavesdropping. And so easy visualized. Second, a romantic relationship that is gaining clarity for us and for them. Third, of course, the never gratuitous erotic scenes that make good porn what it is — visceral feeling that resonates. The S/D interest that has captivated some and may be understandable in light of the sex scene at close of last chapter is a tempest in a teapot for me. All relationships are defined in part by a power dynamic (disproportionate influence/control), so, too, this evolving relationship. While on that topic and probably overthinking (as is my nature), am bit intrigued by the subtitle “Of Annunciation”. Leaving aside its religious connotation, could simply be intended in the more archaic “announcement of something” or to the announcement of a “set of rules” applying to relationships. How about “comparisons and completions”. The near quip about Jerry McGuire during what is a very romantic scene is so pitch perfect for your storyline, and the “guitar and bass” compliment immediately brought to mind that not all comparisons are completions — “all about that base, no treble”. OK, OK, enough. The two of you are clearly having fun creating this piece. Thanks.

Thanks all ove you for reading and letting us know you’re enjoying the stories. used2bjustjabout, I think you’re getting too hung up on the details - which is maybe a sign that you are fully engaged? I hope so. My French is terrible, I’m badly out of practice but I generally don’t worry too much about what Claire is saying, even as BC and I are writing. I mostly go by context. (If I’m writing and feel like Claire needs to say something in French I just type “Frenchy French French” and ButteredCrumpet fills it in with something appropriately sexy.) But sometimes we have Claire say things in French because we don’t want Sarah to understand - because it might scare Sarah. So offering a translation in those moments would be awkward - because Sarah is our Narrator… it’s a line we walk. I’d suggest you treat the French like music, you don’t need to get too literal with it, and when you do, BC gives us all a translation. Migbird, I can’t tell you how happy I am to know the jokes are landing. I’m not a particularly funny person so I’m always self conscious when I write a gag. As for the religious allusions , they’re hard to resist because of Sarah’s Catholicism. But like Claire’s French I wouldn’t get too literal with them. But as for Claire’s description of her love song, that’s all BC. We’ve have that in our pocket for quite some time now, and it’s so wonderful to finally have it out in the world.

First, I like what Migbird wrote, except for the Guitar and Bass. Guitar and Bass work in harmony to make great music (thanks for the Meaghan Trainor earworm) and as such a completion.

SNS, I see why you say it's not a D/s relationship. What I have a hard time reconciling is that Sarah is a strong person. She stood up to Danny. She stood up to her parents. She asserts herself at work. Standing up to both her and Clair'es dates at that restaurant. Submitting to Claire sexually. (One of these things is not like the others!) Off on a tangent: Claire's desire to serve Sarah dinner, as if, outside of the bedroom she has a need to be a sub of sorts.

Going to get real when Sarah's brother arrives and asks what's going on with Claire.

Can't wait to read it!

Welcome to LE DylanAnon! So fun to see you started an account. I have one hard and fast rule for Sarah: she never slacks at work because of love. (This echoes a rule I made for Annie in TSG stories, who never slacks at school because of drama with Michele). I think Sarah is strong and ambitious. She might make mistakes at work, but I don’t see her compromising her professional life for Claire any more than she did for Danny. And while I understand the relationship looks lip sided (this is by design), Sarah is not a “sub” and Claire is not a “Dom” in any formulaic way. (I have had a lot of lovers, and have never encountered a sub in the sense that we find in some of the stories on this site. There is such a strong formula that having Claire pet Sarah’s hair is imagined as a sign of dominance, rather than affection.) but to be fair, we intentionally obscured S&C’s conflict behind the cliche of D/s. (It’s a formula both BC and I enjoy after all.) Although at one point early on I realized that Sarah was paying for EVERYTHING, which wasn’t intentional, but I thought was kind of funny. You are correct about Sarah’s bother. His arrival was a very late addition to the story writing, but marks an important shift. Thanks so much for following along, I’m really glad to see it inspired you to start an account.

Ah yes, faith restored. After the last chapter and its D/S undertones, I was starting to question whether Claire was the right fit for Sarah. Then you come along with this and we get to see the sweet, loving, caring side of Claire and a glimpse into how she really feels about Sarah. Nicely done. I agree with Migbird about a power dynamic in a relationship, especially in the bedroom, with the give and take among lovers and the needle is currently buried in Claire"s favor in this one. I see that Sarah probably needs that at this point as she comes to grips with herself and her burgeoning feelings for Claire. However subtle, the needle is starting to move in Sarah's direction as she gains confidence and I'm excited to see how much control she will take back. As always, I anxiously look forward to your next chapter as Claire and Sarah have definitely taken control of me.

THIS.

OMGEE, this so amazed me at how drawn I was to read, absorb, revel in this tale of two women!

I love lesbian porn; I had the undiluted pleasure of living with 2 lesbians in Anchorage for 3 months, and lots of this story remind me of that feeling/experience.

Honestly, this is the Best lesbian porn I've ever read and I can only imagine how many orgasms this tale has generated.

Truly, thank you.

I usually scan the comments, and contribute my own selectively. This is the first time that reading and reflecting on the comments have become a complementary element of my reading pleasure. Plainly Sarah's and Claire's story has struck some deep chords and prompted such well thought out observations. It is remarkable that SiteNonSite participates actively.

I'm still not convinced that this is porn -- versus erotic literature. The experience of erotica, like this narrative, leaves me feeling that I am a better human being for having read it. That's not the case with porn (for me).

The first comment on my very first story was an Anon. It’s one of the nicest comments I’ve ever received, and I didn’t reply. I’ve always regretted that I didn’t GaiusPatronius - and making up for it, I’ve realized replying to comments is a wonderful opportunity to force myself to reflect critically on what I am doing: to spell it out for myself as well as for my readers. And yes, I am a pornographer and this is porn. (You may have noticed I never use erotica terms like “juicy” “nectar” or “honey” as descriptors, but I love the porniest of all words “cum”.) That said, I’m very glad these stories don’t leave you feeling diminished in any way, that is not my desire.

Oh SNS every chapter of this gets better. This one really takes the biscuit. The hockey trash talk! I love it! Some’ll get it, some not! That’s fine. I mean, every story on here is going to have a few Sabres fans, Islanders not so much, I’m not sure if any of those people are actually literate?

I love that you use tired romance fiction tropes so shamelessly, and make them sing. The accidental trapped in a bathroom stall and forced to eavesdrop .. classic. But Kathy & Jen, OMG, and Young Sarah obedient to Claire’s instructions all the while. That was so hot. As always, gut wrenching and laugh out loud funny!!

And that Carl Bruni song, one of my very favorites. The whole album is good. I’m just amazed that you keep referring to stuff that resonates with me.

I might need to work the jab about islander fans being illiterate into one of the later chapters _robin. I’m glad you are enjoying the way we play with cliche - for me that has been a big part of what I enjoy about writing porn: not running from cliche, but not relying on them in a lazy fashion. My very first story was an attempt to make one of the biggest lesbian porn cliches - the dorm room romance - feel grounded and deliver a real surprise. Likewise with Impact - the old “I’ve spilled wine on your blouse” trick. How much fun is that? It’s very fun to watch your comments as you work through the stories, I’m very glad to know so many of the references are hitting the mark. (I understood “that the biscuit” but had never heard it before!)

Back to my Jane Austen thing, the phone sex in the Times bathroom with Kathy & Jen was at least ten times funnier than when I read it first.

It’s great to see Sarah gaining a little bit of agency in their adventures; it feels as if she is slowly starting to find her voice.

There is still the problem with communication; how does Claire process what they do and how does she see their relationship? She definitely acts as the other half of a partnership, but then again ‘acts’ could be the operative word…

Even as Sarah continues to find herself, she becomes more and more uncertain and afraid as her revelations about herself is so tightly linked to the other half that completes her. And if you grip the soap-bubble glass to tightly it might burst, and your perfect vintage might slip between your fingers and disappear…

It would be interesting to meet any of Claire’s friends or family. I feel that at this point both we and Sarah have only met her acquaintances who likely also only see the façade that she wants them to see. I feel that we sometimes see glimpses of the Claire underneath, but as she is fond of shifting between different levels of playfulness, irony and exuberance — never outright seriousness — it’s difficult to tell which glimpses are the true Claire underneath and which are just part of the façade, or the role, or her armour…

It could after all be the classic situation where both parties are scared of how invested the other party is, and both tries to avoid talking about it to maintain the status quo and not risk getting their heart broken by finding out the other part is just in it for the thrill. While we can follow Sarah’s narrative — and she seems from the inside to be completely devoid of a poker face — it could be that Sarah at times can be as difficult for Claire to read as Claire is for Sarah. Reticence due to fear or nerves can easily look like reserve or disinterestedness from the outside.

It will be interesting to throw in an outside factor in their intimate midst and possibly stir the kettle somewhat. If it was Sarah’s parents visiting then there definitely would be fireworks, but how does her brother see the world? Whilst they’re not officially girlfriends, they don’t hide either; they are very outgoing with their intimacy. Anyone studying them for longer than an evening would fairly quickly see how close they are.

P.S.

(I wrote most of my musings at about halfway through the chapter; I feel I have gotten a little bit wiser after reading all of it.)

I am very much enjoying watching your Pilgrim’s Progress, PC, and can’t wait for your next comment. It’s so fun to see Sarah and Claire through fresh eyes!