All Comments on 'Impact 11: of Amends'

Well done again… not sure if the heavy use of italics was intentional. However what I did take as carefully crafted was the portentous nature of the last paragraph; I do believe Sarah is beginning to “own it” as they say.

I am a little concerned though that the passages hinting at Claire’s possibly rising insecurity in the relationship will lead to some kind of “The Stronger Girl” conclusion. Selfish bastard that I am, I want a happy ending with a big wedding and an epilogue with kids and Sarah’s mom as a dotting grandmother and … and… a pony! All right, yeah, actually I am just really happy for any time you put fingers to keys and share your gift for narrative with us.

Yes!!

Oh fucking hell that was FIRE

Some may view Impact as Sarah’s journey and in many ways it is — she is after all the narrator, but I have always felt that Impact is as much Claire’ story and the development of their relationship/love. Interesting and frustrating how language/words constrain expression of feelings — “development” of their relationship conjures up a variety of feelings some unintended. This relationship developed/morphed over time together, and the sex scenes you create for us capture beautifully/precisely the characters and their relationship at any given point in time. This piece reveals so much about the symmetry of their relationship — not symmetry in sense of being made up of similar parts, rather exhibiting/finding equivalence or harmony in their uniquenesses and the depth of their feelings for one another. As Sarah exclaimed: “For the first time in my life I can do anything I want and I am.” And her description so true of Claire as “Not shameless, just totally unashamed.” OK, I obviously am captivated by both main characters and how sex reveals their mesh/how they entangle, and isn’t that one of the real joys in reading well crafted fiction.

The italics were a bit of code reversed (“Dyslexics Untie!”) - I’ll fix it in post [my deepest apologies to the moderators]. As for The Stronger Girl conclusions, there are NO such thing - the whole point of TSG is I have no idea where I am going (and I’m not done). That said, this is not Leethie and Miranda either - there I had a conclusion and it was sad. With Impact I am aiming for an ending, and there will be ponies. (Or maybe donkeys.) enjoy the ride Mykymk2, I promise not to break your heart.

HWGT - RIGHT?!?

Marzed I will assume FIRE is a good thing and continue in the direction I am going.

I think you are pointing to what makes Sarah and Claire so interesting for me Migbird, but I have been thinking of it in terms of asymmetries. Claire’s age, experience and ease vs Sarah’s striving, precocious genius, and neurosis. Meanwhile I am so glad to know you are captivated. You and I both. I can’t wait to see what they will do next.

I love this series so much, and good god that was so fucking hot!!!!

Another brilliant installment. I'm still so scared about the danger Claire seems to represent for Sarah but as the journey continues I feel more confident...but still uncertain. Thank you for circling back to the Tutor,

Yes FIRE because it’s so freaking hot..I am literally holding my breath at times reading this story. The characters the way they think and feed off each other..simply amazing…thank you for keeping it going..please closer to ponies for the ending( btw love the stronger girl also)

I am so pleased that this excellent series appears to have some way to go yet. After chapters 9 and 10 I feared that the story was winding down. I loved Claire's "I love your mother's daughter" speech. It made this chapter for me, even more than the fact that the appearance of Claire's neighbour was something which I had anticipated in a previous comment on Impact of Collision.

I was initially taken aback by Sarah saying she was licking Claire's pussy for the first time. Is this because in her fantasy it is the first time?

.

SiteNonSite resolved so many issues in this chapter. Claire now has an equal partner in Sarah. All the barriers regarding age, confidence, repressed sexuality, shame, etc, have been completely broken down. Now we can focus on getting to the bottom of why Claire had a set of her mothers sexy bra and panties in her possession. The introduction / revelation of Helen as the enigmatic smoking voyeur was effective on many levels; and it set up the incredible sex scene in this chapter. This chapter has created several new avenues I would like to see explored: Claire's obviously sexy mother; and Helen's full story. Again, Bravo SiteNonSite.

"And she's mine.

Mine like Rebekah never was.

Mine like Darci never was.

Mine like I never was Danny's."

There's so much to unpack in this. The big one being the role of gender - she's the owner except when a male is involved.

But there's also the implication of what the relationships were:

Danny wanted her, but in reality she never wanted him.

She wanted Rebekah, but Rebekah didn't really want her. Or at least in her mind because she doesn't remember having sex with her)

She wanted Darci, but, well, do we really know what Darci wanted.

There's finally this connection with Claire. We've learned that Sarah is a repressed Lesbian. Now we're starting to understand Claire's leanings into this. Rebekah isn't a lesbian. Darci isn't a lesbian. Claire is ... well we don't know for sure, but there seems to be some leanings revealed in this past chapter.

Yes, Claire said she loved her. But it was in the throes of an orgasm. And she didn't invite Sarah as her plus-one to the wedding. Yet with her parent's arrival and the two week sleepover, something is bound to give.

I'm usually board of chapter stories by chapter 7. The story gets strained, the author trying too hard to keep it going. Not this one.

So glad this story is doing as well as it is - it’s been a while sines I wrote alone. Thanks everyone for all those stars, it’s really encouraging.

Please don’t be afraid DarwinDays, Young Sarah is in good hands with Claire. And I’m not done circling back to The Tutor….

I promise miniature donkeys Maezed. So glad you’re enjoying the ride. Please remember to breathe.

Yeah, the girls have a bit further to go NoLongerAnon. And yes, Sarah was fantasizing along with Claire when she told herself it was the first time. I get that it was a little ambiguous, but liked that.

Don’t get your hopes too high SummationAnon, Claire has her mother’s underpants because the apartment belongs to Claire’s stepfather.

"En amour, il y a toujours celui qui donne les baisers et celui qui tend la joue" is something a beautiful Parisian told me DylanAnon. (She liked to present the cheek.)

I’ve had fun with this series thinking about the dynamic of who kisses and who offers the cheek; that Sarah’s conviction was that her role was set in the beginning to be the kisser and has struggled because of that to find her place with Claire.

I’m very glad to hear this series has held your attention and doesn’t feel strained - I understand that danger of a story going on too long and have done a lot of thinking about how to keep this fresh (for me as well as all of you). It’s hard, and makes progress more and more difficult the further along one gets - but it is also a fun challenge and one that I continue to enjoy.

This is such an incredible developing story. The sex is hot, but what makes it exceptional are the fully realized, complex characters and emotions. You’re a truly talented writer. I eagerly await new installments!

Truly exceptional story telling!! I get new insights every time I read it, thank you!

A month later the code glitch edit is finally posted - thanks again to HWGT, for combing through the text for for errors after the first update was rejected. Thanks too to AmberCloud and Cc, I’m so glad to know you are enjoying the story and the writing. I’ve been mulling the next chapter for a week or two (letting things settle in my mind), hence the delay, but It’s great fun to write about these two. I very much want to stick the landing.

SiteNonSite: Thank you for this amazing story. It is, for me, the best one I've read in Literotica, (and yes, I've read quite a gooood amount ).

This one....I have felt it in my stomach. I've cried, laughed, and craved for chapters. I've felt so many butterflies around. I can't stop re-reading it actually, I'm in a loop here.

Reading a story is just nothing if it doesn't make you feel... and this story? holy shit... (the mad dash chapter?.... pfff, next level)...

I admire you from afar and of course your co-writers from previous chapters. Such bold characters can only come from bold creators.

You've done a great job keeping it fresh btw.

There's still so much material to delight us readers .. so much complexity in this story and the main character's are just getting to know each other actually... so many interesting character's to play around with ;)

You are a "boss bitch" girl.

K

You are so welcome K-Anon, such a lovely comment to wake up to. There are feelings I strive for: making someone orgasm is akin to making someone laugh, something that feels attainable. Making you feel deeply enough to cry feels so impossibly out of reach, I don’t even dare try. It means a lot to know how this makes you feel. It’s lonely finishing this without BC. I’m happy to know thoughtful and engaged readers are enjoying the story (repeatedly!)

XOSNS

I find myself lurking again, silently awaiting another installment, debating rereading once, twice, thrice more. What brought me here today? The mention of SNAFU on my social trolling, I was immediately in the bar with Sarah, Claire, and the neighbor chuckling at the misspeak of the phrase. Sigh, back to the waiting I go.

My apologies LurkingAnon. I am sitting on Chapter 12 like a nervous hen. It’s been “finished” but not DONE with the next installment for some time. (HWGT copy edited it over a week ago.)

I keep think of Jodi Foster, who refused to star in the sequel to Silence of The Lambs because she felt Thomas Harris, the author of the books, had betrayed her character Clarice in his portrayal of her in Hannibal.

Perhaps because Sarah is a shared invention, I’m haunted by the idea that I might betray her. So I am moving with great care. If you do reread you may find I’ve made a number of small changes throughout the series. I’ve been rereading too - twice thrice, on and on… and as I do I find myself making small additions and little changes. If you reread the series in a month or two you will find I’ve made additional changes in my latest reread. (I’m also sitting on a round of changes to the past chart chapters. I must be driving the LE moderators insane with these edits.)

Thanks very much for commenting and letting me know someone besides me is anxiously waiting for the next chapter, it is coming, I promise. XOSNS

Loved this, I would have liked to hear the end of Sarah and Clare's sex, but this was excellent!

"And she's mine. Mine like Rebekah never was. Mine like Darci never was. Mine like I never was Danny's."

Father Mike staked out the overriding principle: God is love. Love is not god. It is not the case that love is god. Sarah **knows** that Claire fulfills her in a way and to a depth that nothing and nobody else fulfills her. But when oh when will Sarah declare her love to Claire in so many words?

It has been wonderful to follow your pilgrim’s progress as your comments post, GaiusPetronius. And it is an especially interesting transcription error for such a careful reader. What Father Mike actually says is, “God IS love, Sarah. Not the IDEA of love. God is YOUR love, God IS your friend’s love.” I’m glad you understand the importance that the declaration holds for these two. I really struggled with it, by this point in the story I’d written the scene out a half dozen times, each time deciding it was still too soon.

“This is all so decadent and strange, like a moment frozen in time.”

It definitely makes me want to live in New York, New York. In the Bronx, the streets are just too wide to watch the neighbors through the window. Or, the buildings are set back a bit.

I like this chapter a lot.

Ooh, another thing about this chapter. When Sarah & Kip are having lunch in the cafeteria, and Sarah just says she’d gone to Claire’s place naked, so Claire had dressed her in her clothes this morning. And Claire was her lover, and yes, she’d spanked her. See how easy it was to say? Plus, fun to make Kip’s jaw drop. I loved that passage, I really felt Sarah had turned a corner!

I’m so glad your having fun with this story _robin and that they make you covet living in Manhattan. Full disclosure, objects in fantasy may appear closer than they actually are… I was recently rereading Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden (some of the first erotic writing I can remember reading as a child) and I found myself coveting the past. One woman reminisces about her whole apartment building loudly fucking with their windows open (summer heat, middle of the night) made me wish I had childhood memories like that. Might be fun to write a period piece some day…

Oh yes, I covet living in Manhattan. A high point of my week is Thursday when the “which did they choose” feature drops in the Times Real Estate section. I love living in a small space, for me it reduces anxiety and makes me feel - cozy? (Sure, I need closet space and somewhere for the bicycle.) I love Sarah’s apartment. I could live in the Upper West Side, walking distance to Lincoln Center and Juilliard, museums, libraries. If I lived near Christ & St. Stephens church then that could be part of my life. Oh, and the New York Society Library would be handy, I could be there often. I wish you’d weave library services into the Impact series, the New York Society Library would work well. Claire could be a member? Or her step father?

You are a sensational writer. Goddess bless you.

Wow!!

Finally we have reached a level where Sarah can take, as well as give and receive in her lovemaking with Claire. Such a delightfully beautiful and sexy way of both creating new experiences together, while also sharing and healing Sarah’s experiences from the past. A well handled and beautiful conclusion to Sarah’s exciting, flawed and confusing episode with Rebekah. Darci is going to be tricky, though.

Also, quite delightful to experience a situation where Sarah was actually — relatively — more at ease than the more bold and sophisticated Claire.

Interest how the relationship degrees are moving along. Claire is at the girlfriends-meet-the-parents stage (or at least the girlfriends-and-the-parents-are-suddenly-coming-to-visit-want-to-meet-them? stage), whilst Sarah is still at the oh-my-god-I’m-dating-a-woman stage, slowly moving on towards the girlfriends stage.

While the story is generally both well written and edited — and very enjoyable to read — I mainly run into two grammatical errors from time to time that stand out. There are quite a few ‘X and I’ (i.e. we) that should be ‘X and me’ (i.e. us). Changing these to we/us (or they/them) in your head while reading the text should eliminate these in the future. Also, when addressing someone their name should be closed off with commas. Most of the time the name doesn’t affect the meaning of the sentence, but sometimes the meaning can be confused if the name is included in the sentence rather than separated. There are also the odd correctly spelled words, but with the wrong meaning. For example the taught/taut error that has been mentioned earlier by other commenters; these are understandably harder to correct. Again: not something that detracts from the enjoyment of the story, but something to think about for the future.

It’s interesting to read the story past the point of your collaboration. I can feel the slight difference in the cadence of the story where two interwoven voices have become one — though, not in a bad way, and I don’t feel that the slight change of voice impacts the story in a negative way. It will — hopefully not would — be interesting to read ButteredCrumpet’s version of the continued story; a bit like your own version of Sliding Doors.

P.S.

You are the first commentator to binge the series since I posted the updates PerfectStranger, and I’m glad to know you are enjoying these reworked chapters. This text in particular went through a my hands maybe a dozen times - cutting, adding rearranging and rewording - before I stopped worrying it.

It’s disappointing to know you’ve found errors like taught vs taut, and I vs and me… the kinds of mistakes I worked very hard to excise from the revised texts. But as I’ve said before, when I am “excited” I write fast and get careless, and we are a volunteer army - that “we” includes the moderators, who I am grateful to for their time, and can’t put through another round of revisions.

I’m glad to know the errors don’t detract from the reading experience, but please know I AM aware and do my best.

As for if or when ButteredCrumpet will ever write her own conclusion to Impact, I’m like you, it’s something I very much look forward to.