All Comments on 'Impact 14: of The Gaze'

Another delightful chapter. Another deep dive into the memories which ultimately mold us into the broken beings we all are. Love your writing SiteNonSite.

Well 'city girl', I think I enjoyed the day tour of NY best (well, second best, after the sex). I recently commented to Cagivagurl that I felt I was getting a glimpse of New Zealand bit by bit with her stories, and now this totally google-able tour of NY!

Lovely erotic writing as always.

Excellent as always. I was particularly taken by this: “ When my climax rises through me it's a dome as big as the earth, a hot subterranean sea that pushes up through me displacing thought with surges of blood and sliding flesh. I feel my waters break and flood the sheets, spraying our thighs. I don't call out, instead I let out a long endlessly deep breath, and gasp, surfacing from those great depths.”

I’m very glad this chapter is being well received BlueCollarCrab, I had a great deal of fun playing in Sarah’s memories (I’d never heard of “lover’s eyes” before), but I worried I was being self indulgent - that I’d spent too much time playing in that space. I am so glad to know you’re enjoying the writing - you too LissyW. It’s been a wonderful discovery. (I am coming up on my two year anniversary as a fiction writer and pornographer.)

ButteredCrumpet told me she felt like these stories were my way of writing a travelogue for her - a primer on NYC. I like that idea a lot and continue to enjoy showing off the city through Sarah’s eyes. I’m so happy to know you are enjoying the tour HaltWhoGoesThere.

Thanks for letting me know you like that passage Mykymyk2, I enjoyed it to but that was one of those moments I worried I was being self indulgent - enjoying my one words too much. As much fun as writing most definitely is, I’m really writing this for others to enjoy, not just for my own pleasure. It’s so encouraging to know I’m connecting.

You do have this tendency of leaving out rather significant details in the sex scenes, only to bring them up in agonizingly short descriptions in later parts (i.e. Sarah forcing Ali). :) At this rate, there needs to be a spinoff or another rendezvous.

The gaze. How it’s intertwined into every aspect of the story. Bravo! I loved it!

I’ll write more after I digest, when I can sit down with the laptop and not have to peck it out on the phone.

I read this story again and again, fantasizing about someone like Claire waltzing into my life. I know that it won't happen, but it's enough to put a smile on my face. I sleep lighter at night. Thank you.

I live for your stories. The evolution of Sarah, and her unreliable narrative, is remarkable.

You’re not wrong Wilding. The ethic is to try and tell as much of the story through sex as possible, not as much sex as possible. The story I am telling is Sarah and Claire’s, BUT my imagination keeps returning to Rebekah and Ali… perhaps there will be a Tutor Two at the end of all this.

I had fun with The Gaze, DylanAnon, I’ll look forward to your fully ruminated thoughts.

I’m hoping you find your Claire, WaltzingAnon. Meanwhile, to dream is free. Let’s all keep dreaming of Claire together.

Excellent. Sometimes the story is so rich so thick tha i have to read again. And i discover hoe raw and deep feelings, desires and emotions are interwined . To your credit goes that all you explain we belive it. You should compile in a Book. Sure thing I will read it again. Excellent.

One of the most enjoyable chapters of the story. This episode brought their love to life.

I thought Sarah's thought that 'the only word I had for wanting sex was "slut"; the only image I had for having sex was "whore" - words that terrified me.' explained a lot about some of the earlier episodes.

Now that Sarah has told all, I'm guessing the wedding and meeting Claire's parents will be an opportunity to learn Claire's truth.

Interesting, all this talk of Claire. I mean, she sounds lovely, but I think I'd be nuch more likely to fall for Sarah. Of course, that could just be because she's the narrator, so I feel more "with" her than I do Claire.

I think the physical descriptions of Sarah (such as they are) also appeal to me more.

Both are well described characters though. Nicely done.

To truly see someone, and to truly be seen by that someone - Simple propositions that often are nearly impossible to achieve. - “The Gaze” is an important part of the process. - The visual. - The original unspoken communication of desire that cannot be embellished with silver tongued words. - It still exists. In this story, “The Gaze” takes on added meaning and importance. It serves as THE overarching theme imho. From the voyeurism and exhibitionism, to the deep looks into each other’s souls, and examinations of their lives, Sarah, Claire, and the other characters are continuing and expanding on the ancient tradition. Ironically, the “first impact” occurred because Sarah and Claire WEREN’T “looking”. - How perfect is that. 👁👁👁👁👁

My remark was only about the brief, footnote like mention of Sarah participating but this desire to see more of that scene flushed out is probably connected to these moments making me think back to your first series. Even though these are all separate stories (and I believe this series began with a totally different tone, I think you referenced the lighter romantic feel in the beginning, than your others), my mind always goes back to your first series, where Michelle and Annie are more restricted in terms of space. The d/s element feels accentuated, almost repressive in a dorm room. It's on top of you. This series does have that air of worldly adventure (in comparison) but these instances of d/s always draw my mind back to your other series. So it isn't a critique per se, just that I enjoy your ability to write those scenes.

I’m very glad to hear the story felt believable and “thick”, BlueSea00. I was imagining the sort of hot and humid day where the city feels thick.

Thank you NoLongerAnon. It’s wonderful to know, that this deep into a story we can still hit high points, and illuminate motivations. And yes, there are a couple very important big moments before the end…

Everyone is going to have their favorites LissyW. I find it exciting to imagine the ways Sarah adores Claire, but because of the POV, it’s a one way street. That was the motivation to write the chapter from Rebekah’s POV, to see Sarah through someone else’s eyes.

The desire to watch and be watched was Sarah’s cover for her real desires from the start, GazeAnon. So the “Lover’s Eyes” was a wonderful discovery, felt exactly right.

I came here al set to write about the gaze, but Anonymous down below captured exactly what I wanted to say, probably better than I could have put into words. Her line on the irony that they weren't looking - Exactly.

To go a bit beyond - there are so many other gazing references from "She also has lovely eyes" to her rowmate on the flight out to Buffalo gazing at her chest.

I'm also enjoying watching Sara wrestle with her religious beliefs. Maybe one day she'll find her place, either in it or not in it, but at least be at peace with it. I see more talks with Father Mike in her near future.

I'm assuming the next chapter is meeting Claire's mom and step-dad. And the living together for two weeks. Also, now that they've defined their relationship and are going public with it -telling Ben and Keith. Going to a Sabers-Rangers game with Kip (Claire wearing the Sabers sweater having no idea what it means!) How will Kwasi take hearing about the relationship. Darcy. Wes moving to NYC. Wait! This is your story, not mine! Never mind.

But you have a lot of subplots to work with going forward, all set up reasonably well such that they have a lot of potential to keep the story alive and interesting. I look forward to future chapters!

Interesting point about the POV, SiteNonSite. JCMcNeilly's series 'Hero Worship' alternates between the POV of the two main characters, Aly and Taylor. I thought it worked really well, but she says she wouldn't write like that again as she found it difficult. Shame.

In this piece of Sarah’s journey/their love story the “gaze” is a beautiful motif weaved throughout this romantic piece that brings to life your theme in so many ways from the seemingly mundane to the deeply personal and intensely erotic. So clear how much you enjoy creating/sharing “Collision” with us; comments and your responses reveal how much readers are immersed and how much that means to you. Had fun voyeuristically dropping pins on Sarah’s NYC movements prior to an evening with Claire after Buffalo — Kalustyans, Rainbow, Madison Square Park, heading toward Eatalay, Chelsea Market, a drink at The Tippler; your description sheds light on your creativity in a seemingly simple but captivating way. Have loved this relationship from the moment Sarah claims: Please, I can fix this," I promise. Not surprisingly you’ve created characters and relationships that resonate.

Incredible story, i hope to one day have a love like this in my life

It’s a great joy to find out I can get away with posting something as particular to my own interests as The Gaze; to find out it doesn’t read simply as self indulgent - like Sarah, I am full of doubt. I appreciate all the feedback - and love the callbacks to chapter one (which had not occurred to me). I am doing my best to honor this story and these characters with the ending I feel they deserve.

And yes, you’re right DylanAnan, there are a lot of wonderful threads still dangling (enough rope, as it were), but it’s wonderful to know others are keeping track and looking forward to them as well.

You too MigBird. I also struggled with whether or not anyone else would enjoy all the details of that shopping trip. If, again, I was being self indulgent. As I approached the end I worry I’m guilty of putting as many words between me and “The End” as I can. I’m very happy to know that stretching out a languid afternoon stroll was worth it, that it helped feed the story.

Meanwhile, LissyW, I most enjoy pornographic stories with a single point of view. Sex would be very different - less charged - if we knew what our lovers thought.

And finally Jneile, that’s such a sweet sentiment, such a lovely compliment. I very much hope you find your Claire.

I really wish could find the words to express all the things I would like to say about 'Impact,' but I guess if I had that capacity I would be writing good stories like yours instead.

Reading 'The gaze' was like eating strawberries with chocolate or letting out a deep breath after climbing a tall mountain... such a nice feeling!!!!!!! It was the most peaceful reading of all chapters. Sarah needed a day like that for sure, Claire needed it.... I needed it!

So.... celebrating two years as a fiction and porn writer? well, you are really getting really good at this, so I personally encourage you to keep going on this journey, keep feeding up on your reader's opinions, and don't ever stop creating!!

It's been a blast reading it/you. I love your settings, character descriptions, and the story development itself. I've truly enjoyed what you've made me feel through it, you can be funny and so deep at the same time. I love how you constantly take unexpected turns that keep me wondering what could happen in the next chapter, every single time... I feel pretty much like Claire as she never stops learning and surprising about Sarah's adventures.

I really like the non-linearity of the story and how you keep filling it with details about your amazing characters (Kip's a favorite ;)), feeding us with great expectations and always wondering. I've even enjoyed learning about visual arts!

About the sex scenes lady, ufff! let's say they are beautifully depicted. They can be raw, loving, discovering, and not... all at the same time.... well, butterflies simply won't go away. So thank you for that BTW.

I'll save some comments for later...

I hope you're enjoying writing as much as I do reading, and that you're aware that your impact is even bigger than Impact itself.

K.

I know it mus have been difficult work but those maps in today’s NYT which I’m assuming Sarah drew are spectacular!

:-)

February 10th will mark two years since the first Stronger Girl story posted, KAnon. I never intended to write more than that one, the ideas just kept coming. (38 stories!) It’s been a wonderful distraction. It’s hard for me to tell if I’m working slower, or asking more of myself, but the writing comes slower, the bursts of ideas further apart. It is still fun however. Thanks so much for the kind words. I am working hard to give Impact a fitting ending, the encouragement helps.

And as for yesterday’s maps in the Times, DylanAnon, I like to think Sarah and Ben and Keith have all moved on, but who knows.

Probably hard to move on from the New York Times. But probably have moved on at the New York Times.

Sarah is a striver. In my mind she lasts two years at the Times, three max - I think Keith would last five of six, and Sarah, unable to move up, would move on.

SNS you don’t have to apologize or explain, because it’s you writing a beautiful tale and we have a wonderful entertainment ….. for all, with an empty story case or Anons, star writing and earn your STARS ….. im really honored that you SNS sharing your talent, thank you …… And the tale is lovely romance with all the natural ups and downs

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🍀

Just incredible. Your writing is beautiful, and the way you structure this entire story arc makes it truly outstanding. I feel every character in it as a fully realized human being, with all their flaws and redeeming qualities. It’s a love story and a story about forgiveness, growth and understanding. It’s incredibly hot, but the sex is rendered in such an organic way that it never feels like anything but essential to the story and the characters. Truly, this is great work. You should publish this. I guarantee it would be up for some Lambda literary awards or something similar. I can see a few small things from an editing perspective, but it needs very little. I can’t wait to read more of your writing.

Thank you FranziskaSissy, I’m glad you are enjoying the ups and downs as well, they are such a pleasure to share.

You too AmberCloud, I’m so happy to hear from you, that the characters are convincing, that the arc is part of the fun (keeping it all in mind is a great part of the fun for me). I work to keep the sex central, essential - even with these longer chapters, I’m very pleased to hear it’s still hot. I can’t picture this work earning awards, but I’d be interested to hear your editing suggestions as I am reworking and adding to the past chapters as I work towards the ending. Please don’t be shy.

This was beautiful, thank you.

Fantastic story.Hope there will be ( a lot ) more chapters to follow.

Anon from two weeks ago. Interesting take on the Keith/Sarah professional dynamic. I sure agree that Sarah is a striver, and if Keith were in her way she would move. The professional field she is in is one that would provide lots of opportunity, even in 2023, and definitely a few years ago. My comment stemmed from my view (as a daily reader for 35 years) that the New York Times is as good as it gets for a journalist. But her field is broader than daily journalism, and less traditional than that.

Apropos of nothing special, it dawned on me that our couple has never been to one of my favorites:

Sarabeth’s

On the upper west side.

:-)

You write well except for the continuous error of using the subject pronoun "I" instead of the object pronoun "me".

Example: "when she watches Claire and I fuck" should be Claire and me. When in doubt, just remove the first part of the combination: "when she watches (Claire and) me fuck"

DylanAnon! “I got shortcakes from the nicely-named Sarabeth’s, and Devonshire clotted cream and ice cream from the Milk Bar, and strawberries from the fruit monger - and apple cider doughnuts, just in case.”

Thank you Nightwish1977 and FantasticAnon.

You’re not wrong NYTAnon… it’s nice to think about Sarah’s future. Like all young women, I want her future to be bright.

D’oh!

I should have gone back and read. I posted that after a friend told me he was just there.

He was at the one on the UWS. When I lived in New York, that was the only one.

Later in the day, after I made my comment, he also went to the one at Chelsea Pier (I think, too lazy to go look it up) , the one mentioned in the story here

Mew Culpa

A delightfully beautiful reunion. These two really are deliciously wonderful and sexy together. The perfect couple in every way.

P.S.