Impotent and Incontinent Ch. 02

Today will be a great day. 2019 was the best year for the company since I started it back in 2005, and today we sent out a press release. Yesterday I informed Jack, a journalist I know from the financial newspaper and now he is here for a short interview and even brought a photographer. The company now is the biggest and most successful in the branch and he and I know, to expand more we have to get capital from the stock market. If I do so I will cash out between 60 and 100 million. Jack mentioned even bigger numbers and although I have no financial worries for the rest of my life as things are now, these numbers make me dangle.

The interview is short and positive and the history of my success leaves the handsome photographer in awe. She is no older than 25 years. Wearing an asymmetric patchwork dress with red tights and black high heels. She gives a sexual vibe to my success. Only thing needed is a picture of my face and it's taken, standing in front of the window with the skyline of the city in the background. It's taken quickly but as I stand there I feel a warm flow in my crotch running down my left leg. Before I know it my leg is soaked and it even starts running down my other leg. It takes a minute before I know what happened and I realise Jack and his photographer are looking at my crotch.

"Well, it has been an exciting time I think. Jack, do you have enough material now?"

I quickly go to my desk to sit down.

"Yeah, ehm... no, it's great. I have 200 words and a picture for tomorrow's newspaper. If Wall Street doesn't crash, you're in it, ha ha."

"Thanks, Remy has a map with all company data and numbers, updated till last April. REEMMM!! CAN YOU GIVE JACK THE LAST BROCHURE? THE EXTENDED ONE!?"

The situation is awkward, not just me shouting at my secretary, but also my visitors not knowing how to say goodbye. So without shaking hands, they just walk back to the door to Remy and say bye.

Looking down my crotch, I realize I just wet my pants in front of 2 strangers, I freeze. Although lately I have had some difficulties down there, this is the first time I wet myself, at least that amount. Something tells me this isn't a one time thing. And I have no idea how to deal with this. I went to the doctor before, but was too ashamed to tell the full truth. My shame was not only the wet pants but even more the inability to cope with it. Luckily I have some other clothes with me. On the way home I stop at a grocery store to buy some Tena's or whatever they are called. I buy some pants style incontinence briefs. They seem fine and the lady on the package seems happy with it. The cashier doesn't seem to bother at all what I buy, but for me it feels awkward.

Coming home I check my underwear and luckily it's all dry. Tonight we will go to the opera and I decide to wear protection anyway. Driving home I think it's silly. It was probably just the excitement that caught me. What if Gina wants to make out tonight? She will be all dressed up, and of course look stunning. Men's heads will turn to take a look at her cleavage, her full legs and beautiful style, all confident and shining. When she gets a little bit tipsy, big chance she wants to end the day with pleasure. I'm afraid. It's been weird lately down there. When I come home she doesn't disappoint me. Her hair is already done and her face is just out of a skin mask, shining in a natural red blush. She is only dressed in a pantyhose and bathrobe.

"Hi honey, how was your day? Jack did come by, didn't he?"

"Yes, and with a photographer! Maybe my face is in the newspaper tomorrow."

"Wow, poshy Mr. Forbes 500. Now go get dresses, the play starts in 2 hours. Arjen just has to do my makeup, he is in the living room."

Putting on the incontinence pants is weird but it gives me some confidence. Maybe after the play I can go to the toilets at the theatre and leave it there. I'm pretty sure I will still be all dry.

Gina looks stunning and I'm proud walking next to her across the theatre square. With her high heels clicking on the pavement I know, she is no less an upper class woman than any old-school celebrity I can think of. The success we display here is one of both of us, because we did it together. I provided the financial success and Gina the class and status.

All of a sudden I feel a warmth in my crotch. For a minute I think it's nothing, I wear protection, but quickly I realise the warmth is running down my leg. I freeze and Gina keeps walking 2 steps as she turns around and sees me looking at my wet trousers.

"Pascal, what the... "

She is furious. And comes over to me blocking the view of my wet pants for the rest of the people heading for the play.

"There is a puddle of your piss in the middle of the square! What is wrong with you?"

"I... I don't know but lately... "

"Lately!?"

She slaps me in my face with her flat hand. It hurts, and it's loud. Probably the whole square heard it and they are now looking at us. She takes my hand and quickly turns around, back to our car.

"You go in the back of the car squatting at the foot rest, and don't you dare to put your disgusting pissed pants on the back seat. Now that was a fun night out wasn't it! I spent hours dressing up. Gosh! My husband, soon to be a multi-millionaire, just pissed himself in front of a full theatre square in our own city, and tells me; well lately... "

I have never seen Gina so mad in my life. It is not the fact that I am incontinent, or didn't share my condition with her, what bothers her is that I didn't take care of my problem. And she is right, I honestly don't know what to do. At home I change and show her the pants I bought earlier today. She just makes fun of me and humiliates me. When I have dry clothes on she takes me out to the car to buy some diapers that are more suitable. I'm embarrassed but at the same time honestly and utterly happy she takes business in her hands. In the shop she is rude and I am ashamed but at least she knows what to do. It's gonna be, no it has to be tough, but it is not her fault, no, it is not her fault! We come home with packages of diapers I would even be ashamed looking at in the store. Back home she is still harsh.

"Now, since all of a sudden you can't take care of yourself, I bet you can't put a diaper around your pisser either, so put your damn ass on this diaper and I'll do it for you."

The pants I put on an hour before are now also wet. The fresh diaper is a baby style diaper and bigger than I could imagine. I am horrified. Tears come up. She looks me in the eye's and luckily Gina is not so ruthless anymore. I am lying there like a baby and Gina diapers me, surprisingly careful. My dick is tiny, cold water tiny, and I am ashamed, even more because Gina's beauty strucks me. She tries to rub the urine out of my pubic hair with a washing cloth without any sign of anger. She closes the snaps of my diaper and leaves me lying there without any clothes. As she bends over me she smiles and I look at her beautiful full breasts, in this lovely accentuated dress hanging over me.

Her lips come to mine. I love how she smells, the softness of her skin, the taste of her lipstick. My tongue quickly goes around to find hers, but her lips keep shut. She pulls back and then undresses slowly. She opens the zipper of her dress and lets it slide down to the floor. Still wearing her high heels she picks it up. She wears nude coloured underbust shapewear, with a dark black pantyhose over it. Her bra is just a quarter cup supporting her firm double D size breasts, leaving the nipples uncovered. As she bends over to take her pantyhose off, I reckon a pad inside her pants. It's not a sanitary pad, it's way too big for that. I am confused and surprised but most of all I am happy and relieved. Apparently she has some problems of her own to manage.

In the morning I wake up, only wearing the diaper. Gina is already up and comes into the room holding a pile of newspapers.

"You're in it! With a nice picture!" She says with a proud face.

She rips the blanket off of me. "Did you have an accident tonight?"

I can tell from the bulkiness of the diaper between my legs, and the colour shining through it I have. Before I can say anything Gina's nose goes down to sniff it, and with a sore face she comes up.

"Oh... yes you did. but it's only urine. No panic, I'll handle it."

Her hands go over my diaper and between my legs to inspect how much it contains. She opens the snaps and lets the wet diaper fall open on the bed sheets.

"Your skin is all wet, maybe you need a bigger diaper, not in size but in capacity. Your skin will get sore, we need something to take care of your skin."

She goes out of the bedroom, leaving me lying on the wet diaper. I look up but can't see my skin is irritated. As I look, a gush of urine comes out my penis without any feeling of pressure or anything. If i didn't look up i wouldn't know i'm peeing. As Gina comes back it already stops.

"Now lift your bottock so I can change it. Oohh, it's still warm."

Her hand feels the freshly wetted inside of the diaper. She doesn't seem to care about my urine on her fingers. I lift my bottocks and Gina pulls it out underneath me.

"Now hold a second, I put the new one right underneath"

As I lay down on the fresh diaper. Gina grabs a washcloth and starts cleaning my privates.

"I think it is better for you to be shaved completely. Your pubic hair takes in the smell of the urine. We will do that later, for now I just put some baby powder on it."

I wonder if she knows all this out of her own experience. She pours the powder on my genitals until I'm all white. My dick is still tiny and she takes back my foreskin to put some powder there too. As she closes the diaper she makes sure my penis is facing downwards.

"Now, that will do for a couple of hours. You probably have a busy day today. I'll come over to check on you around noon. Now look at you in the papers, Mr Handsome millionaire."

The day is indeed very busy. I get a lot of calls and mails congratulating me and the firm with the success that made expanding necessary. Coming into the office was a bit odd, thinking anyone could see, but now that I am busy I don't think about it any more. Just when I sit down I feel the polster of the diaper on my butt. As I notice the bulk between my legs gets bigger I go and check it in the restroom. It is not quite filled as it was this morning. The indicator stains are halfway and the yellow coloring is also only halfway. I guess I can do a few more hours with this one. Gina will come around noon anyway. I feel confident now, knowing I will not have an accident, I can focus on my work, enjoy my success. Gina will take care of my personal problems, my hygiene and appearance.

I hear a well known car noise and from my office window I see Gina driving her Porsche into the parking lot. As she steps out she looks stunning, wearing a knee long skirt with a shining, skin toned pantyhose. Her skirt has moved up while sitting in the sports seats, revealing her beautiful thighs. Her legs move simultaneously to the pavement and reveal a pair of sneakers that don't fit the rest. She bends over and changes them into her high heeled ankle boots. As she walks up to my office she is in every movement and attitude class and dignity. Greeting everyone and have a nice word to the employees she knows well. After a small chat with my secretary she comes into my office, walking directly towards me kissing me on the mouth with a brief tongue contact. I am excited, in awe of her appearance. Her skirt is tight, pointing out her well shaped hips and butock. Her blouse is wide around her breasts and tight around her stomach, probably a body style blouse. It's not too revealing but every man will have a peak to her cleavage. I guess she is wearing the bra from last night, her nipples are slightly peaking through the fabric.

"Let's go to your restroom, I got everything with me."

In my office I have my own restroom, with a toilet and shower. We went in and immediately Gina started unzipping and lowering my trousers and underpants. As I stood there in my diaper her hand went under it to weigh the amount of urine in it. I look down and it is quite bulky on the front.

"It's a good thing I came,let's get you changed."

She is down in front of me, with her face only inches from my crotch. The look is breathtaking. Down her blouse, her beautiful legs, this setting. She opens the snaps of the diaper and due to the weight it falls down quickly. From her bag she takes some gloves, and like a nurse, without any hesitation or emotion, she starts cleaning my penis, balls, anus and butt. I can smell myself, the odour of old urine. My skin is damp, cold. Some droplets fall from my penis to the ground. It doesn't seem to bother Gina as she picks a new diaper out of her bag. I hold it from the back as she gets on her feet again and closes the first snaps on the front. Her hand goes down inside to push my penis down and then closes the other 3 snaps.

"Now take your pants up again. I hope this is good for you until you are home. You can call me when you need something."

She picks up my used diaper and folds it into a small bale, then takes off her gloves and puts everything back into her bag.

"Thanks... "

I want to kiss her, adore her, i long for her, but as my mouth goes to hers she turns me her cheek. Tonight, maybe, we can have a good time, solve things. She knows it's not my fault, it's a medical condition. Besides, if she uses urinary pads herself I think she can relate to my problem. She walks out, as graceful as she came. Smiling to everyone. I watch her change her high heel for her sneakers again. She looks up to me, I wave, hesitating. There is no reaction and I don't know why but now she seems mad and angry. My eyes follow her as she drives off, until I can't see her anymore, leaving me somehow distressed.

At that moment the president of the European branch of the world's biggest professional printer manufacturer call's to congratulate me with the ongoing stock market listing. He even offers me his service. It was due to this man that I was able to set up my business. If it wasn't for him the company wouldn't be half as big as it is now. And this man now wants to work for me. I am dangling, and don't know what to say. Apparently in the business I am now the man to follow, who knows where the market goes. This feels sooo good, this feeling of power, being looked up at. Me, Pascal Duchamp, selfmade miljonair, and man to follow, in a multi billion business. For a while I thought going to the stock market would probably be the end of my era, but now I think it is just the beginning of something even bigger.

As I drive home a strange feeling comes over me. All the workload, the responsibility and power, the money, all these people depending on me, on my decisions, this weight on my shoulders, it falls off of me. At home there is Gina, my beautiful wife who takes over control. There I am allowed to be just a grain under the heel of her pumps. If she wants to crush me I would love to be crushed. I think back of the slap in my face. I had let her down and I deserved it. I would have been disappointed if she didn't beat me. In fact if she wants to hit me again, i would understand, i am by far not good enough for her, i was stupid. It was a slap out of care. I dread the day not to be recognised or seen by her anymore. To be mad at me, to be violent is to be acknowledged. And that is far more than I could dream of.

It's almost 7pm. I wear my diaper longer now than this morning. I can smell myself, well Gina will help me.

"Hi honey, I'm home."

"Oh for God sake, Pascal, I can smell you a mile away, you are horrible."

"I.. I know, but I didn't have, you just... I'm sorry."

"Oh yeah, you are sorry. Well sorry doesn't change your diapers."

"No... but... well.. I can do it myself, you know."

"Yeah, saw that yesterday, what a big guy you are!"

"Come on, lay down on the bed. I made it, especially for you."

The mattress is covered in a plastic sheet. A new package of diapers is on the floor. It says 24/7 on the cover. At first I thought a couple of them are on the bed, but then I realise this thick package is only one diaper. I am standing confused at the bedside. This indecisiveness makes her furious. With a smack to my face I fall down on the bed. Again and again she hits me in my face. She squeezes my genitals and it hurts even through my pants and diaper. I know this beating is my fault, I am the one who hurting myself. She takes off my clothes. When I am only in my diaper she pushes me down on my back. With two belts she fixes my hands to the headrest and then starts changing my diaper.

"Oh my God, ain't you ashamed of yourself? How can one bear this smell? "

She opens my diaper and I can tell it's soaked. Urine that isn't absorbed drips onto the plastic mattress cover.

"You are worse than a 90 year old Alzheimer's patient, now look at you, a guy, not even forty yet, diapered up."

"I am sorry but I can't help it, I mean... you should know. You yourself have some problems, don't you? I mean I saw... "

"You saw what? This?"

She pulls down her skirt and her panties, and under her pantyhose she reveals an incontinence pad. Although by far it is not a diaper like mine, but clearly, it is way bigger than a sanitary pad and able to hold more than a couple of urine droplets.

She goes down to sit on my face. I can smell urine and the sweet smell of her vagina. She grabs me by my hair so hard it feels she wants to rip it out and pushes my face between her legs.

"Look at this, take a good look, and I'll tell you what you see. This looks and smells like a woman, not a perfect woman but a real woman. A woman who sometimes loses some urine, who's vagina sometimes gets wet, with or without excitement. Who has some discharge now and then, you know what Pascal? who is ALIVE! Who can take care of herself, her body, her feelings and loningings. Not like you, you sissy, look at you. Your life fluids are dripping out of you. Your manhood is dead isn't it? You are better off without it. Now tell me what you see when you look at me... "

She takes down her pantyhose, pulls out the incontinence pad and rubs it in my face.

"... this is ME dealing with MY body. Being as good as a woman, as pretty and desirefull as can be. And I know I am not perfect, I hide my love handles under a body shaper. My breasts are not as firm as 20 years ago, and without my spanx my thighs would touch while walking. But I deal with it, I am not a pussy like you. And there are plenty of men turning their heads, women who admire me, who just want to be a little bit more like me. Do you know what they are longing for? Not a perfect woman but a woman who takes care, who is in charge of herself."

"I.. no... i am not dead, my cock is not dead. I have feelings. It's maybe just the stress lately."

"Oh, the stress... you should have told me that before, I can help you get rid of your stress, let me just clean you up."

She cleans my genitals and puts a diaper under my butt. Then her face goes down to my penis, licks it, licks my balls, my short shaft. Her wet lips go gently over my foreskin, pushing it down until her mouth barely touches my cock. After a minute or two her lips go down further. Her tongue flips over the top of my cock. Despite my arousal, this amazing feeling, my penis is still just a tiny pickle. But I long for her, want to touch her, her breasts, her belly and vagina. Want to smell her kiss and pleasure her. Gina makes a sudden drawback. I can guess what happened. The droplets on her face tell me I am right.

"You.. must.. be.. kidding.. ME! This is being alive for you? Being a man? I try to suck all the blood from your body into your penis, and you piss me in my face, in my mouth? Now go on, big boy, give it to me harder. I am all pleased." She says sarcastically.