All Comments on '"In Cold Blood" Pt. 02'

but this is just plain stupid. I can't even read it.

All the typos and wrong words didn't help. Try proof reading next time.

I like to preface comments with a thanks for writing fiction we can read for free.

I'm holding off any rating until the story ends. I will admit I'm not getting whatever you're trying to play with. The end of the first chapter used one the 'it was a dream' switch at the end. Then you went with a double negative that that the reveal at end of chapter one was the actual dream. In that case, I'd have to wonder why put it in at all.

In this chapter everyone is just too ill or... something. Susan was indeed so sick, and it had gone on so long, with so many, in such different contexts. It is too improbable that no one ever slipped or taunted him or tried to steal her away by telling Larry. And how stupid did Larry have to be anyway.

His family is odd. Lisa is odder.

No one seemed like even an impression of a somewhat stable or healthy individual.

But, maybe you'll turn it around. So far, I definitely appreciate the free read, but don't find the quality very high or to prior standards you've set

The author is far better then this story. carvohi is getting off trolling the trolls . I guess they have it coming but I'd giving this series a miss from here on out. Fishing with dynamite is effective , but not very compelling or appetizing to witness. The top tier of writers can enrage said trolls AND write a beautifully constructed story. See Ohio 's ' Brisket ' series or Richard Gerald 's ' Jailbreaking'.

This author has undeniable skills , but has shelved them to go into full on 'slumming it ' mode.

This is far worse than the first time you posted it. 1*

When you lost your mind on this site a few months back , I thought that you might have a substance problem.

But now I'm thinking that you may have some deeper issues going on.

These last few submissions of yours make that crazyassed c1992w seem normal !

Seriously guy , go speak with a trained mental health expert .

I like this story so far but I have to comment that Larry must be the densest person on the planet not to notice that his wife was fucking half the town and the least respected man in town for no one to let him know what was going on. He also was lacking in his understanding of Lisa's feelings for him. It is hard to imagine that he had no friends or family that could point these things out for him. As far as his revenge is concerned, physical attacks were kind of pathetic. Better would have been simply telling the wives of their husband's cheating. Publicly humiliating as many of the cheaters as possible and defending himself if they came for him. Even better would have been to do this before his wife/whore got a chance to leave town so that she could suffer the wrath of the cheated wives.

The 'Loving Wives" crazy, nymphomaniac ex wife is almost more of a set up for the real story of Lisa's unrequited love for Larry. As far as betrayal goes, maybe the only thing worse than being betrayed by your spouse is betraying yourself! Unrequited love and the humiliation that comes with it is really self betrayal. It is setting yourself up for heartbreak and sadness. Larry has to be careful not to free Lisa from her pain and allow her to take real "revenge" on him.

I can understand the other comments...I thought the same while reading this part 2...That was a town of sick people! Even the priest wasn't a nice one! Until now only one person seems at first sight normal: Lisa's friend that stopped him from beating the old man! So we have to look to this story from the angle: What is normal for me, may not be normal for other people. I'm curious where this story is going...Will the relationship of these two sick people become permanent? On what terms? For now 3*

i dreamed i was a commenter on literotica.

it was ok.

But I'll be reading the next part.

Bad.

Sorry, this chapter was a complete let down.

2 stars.

Wait you said it was a dream come at the end of chapter one. Now the dream was real and the real was a dream? Please explain it to me so I can enjoy the story .

Larry is very stupid in fact he's a moron not have caught on. And Susan his wife is certifiable. Come on it's his fault for being a good guy. She'd been sleeping around from before they where an item. She thought it was fun to make jokes at his expense with the guys she was doing in front of him,h by,hhhh,,,,,,, you 5555h,,,,,,,hhhh,,. Yet shec says she really loves him.

In addition to be being cheated on by his wife, it is unfathomable that no one would tell him what was going on. And feeling justified in beating up an old man that we are told DIDNT fuck Susan, no matter what anyone said? What the hell is wrong with this guy.

And all of a sudden, he goes from being happily married to Susan to falling for Lisa? It's called rebound sex for a reason because it's not love he feels. And considering Lisa is just as fucked up as Susan, penchant for bondage notwithstanding, he should move the fuck away.

Lastly, please explain how Susan could keep saying she loves him and still cheat on him and laugh about it? That makes no sense to me. That's like an abusive husband hitting his wife and saying he loves her with each punch.

I do not have a clue where this is going.... But I trust your judgement

It means its just another stupid story on the LW site, that the readers have tried to understand and discuss. A futile effort for this story.

I read all of chapter 1, then the first few paragraphs of chapter 2, then in confusion skipped right to the comments. At least the comments make sense. Thanks for that gang. Excuse me for forgoing the pain of reading this nonsense and trying to add to the group discussion. The only thing here worth noting is that there is nothing here worth reading, except the comments. A sorry decline in this author's potential.

for the title to make sense.

I have to hope that there is a reason for the title. I think when the title's meaning is revealed, then more of this story will make sense.

But it is easy to lose hope, as nothing that the ex-wife did or said made any sense.

And now it seems that her part of the story is over.

Also, the rebound chick being just as crazy as the ex?

No, that doesn't make any sense either.

But that title, though....

What is the deal with that?

When somebody else figures out the connection of title to story, will they spell it out for the rest of us??

Thanks.

Well written as per your usual standards. Not sure what to think of the plot yet. Curious to see where you're going to take this...

Her cheating went from being a drea at end of last chapter to being real?

You are not your self!!! What crap are you writing? First it`s a dream and now it`s reality??!! And he hooks up with his highschool girl who realy loves him but don`t tell him that his slut betrayed him?? That`s love for real!!! And if he get`s his revenge a saint appears and he is cured??!! That`s much nonsense!!! And now he is in a D/S connection??!!! How laughable!! I hope you get support by your author chums elsewhere more reader may think you wrote crap!!!

But not circling the drain.... I'll still hold off the score for now

At the end of Ch 1 her cheating was a dream, now it's real again???

Other thoughts -

“I fucked a lot of guys that year. You didn't know it, but they knew, and they knew who you were. We used to laugh about it. They'd make fun of you behind your back, and sometimes right to your face. You didn't know. I thought it was funny. I used to laugh too. I used to laugh and you thought I was laughing about something you said." – She says she LOVES him? God, I hope she never hates me!

LOL, his father wouldn’t fuck her, not because it would be wrong to cuckold his son, but because his wife might find out! And it never occurs to him to tell his son that she seduced him?

“Everything you touched seemed to turn to gold” – Because he worked for it!

“While she performed her oblations” – The word is “ablutions.”

I thought the wife was sick. Now I realize that the author is sick. Please get help.

I used to like yoir stories but now they are trash

From chapter 1 to 2; I'm a little confused and, I don't think I'm the only one. Trying to figure out which is his dream and which is the waking (real) life. This chapter has some elements that seem almost unrealistic and skip some details similar to a dream. In which case I wouldn't be surprised at anything that would come next. But, in that case I will withhold voting to see completed story. Well written thus far, minus a few typos.

I prefer this to all the cucky wimp sicko shit being posted.keep it up . Looking foward to part 3. 5 stars so far

I don't get it. am holding off final judgment til I see the end, but after two chapters - I am nowhere.

. . . intimacy are a beautiful combination. A well told tale of opening up, both male and female, looking for themselves and each other. Topic wise, I am reading a story of incredible maturity; passion, tenderness and honesty by man and woman. Almost can't wait for the finale.

One hell of a good job Carvohi.

I remember back over more than sixty years when the following phrases were written and spoken. "Shake your head for no" and "nod your head for yes."

When did the term "nod" fall out of our written text and spoken word? This author is not the only writer to use "shake" for indicating both yes and no. I actually have not seen writers use nod or nodding here on Literotica so has nod become a literary antiquity?

Long and boring. Not worth anyone's time. Please don't bother with part three of this sick shit.

his first wife was a whore who screwed any man she wanted. and how was it possible not to know . also something mental off in her way of using her mental capacity. now Lisa is into bondage, pretty strange characters if you ask me. maybe he can cure her of this degrading stuff. or is he getting another wacko. probably they will get married and live happily ever after.

Dude is really hung up on Jews for some reason. Also a lot of typos, plus just rambles on way too long without saying anything. And the dream stuff is just dumb.

Anatomy: learn the difference between vulva and vagina. You have no business playing with either if you don't know the terminology.

Religion: learn the difference between oblations and ablutions. Words have meanings.

Boring story. Eastern Shore inbreds and whack jobs. I'll try to digest part 3 fairly but I have doubts.

Which I assume is your intention. At the conclusion of chapter one he wakes up from a dream. Chapter two begins with no transition. Is he back in the dream? Since the first chapter was originally posted a while back, is chapter two an attempt to rectify the original ending?

decent story 4 star story gave it 5 to try to fix the balance of that one person voting over n over.. "i get it ur jewish " no need to come on and post comments over n over its not that bad a story ... have a little courage and use a name ;)

This story is not so good. He seems to be a catalyst or magnet for mentally sick women and relationships.

Two stars.

I liked it! like where it is going and how. 5*

I liked it!

I dont know if you are writing this as satire or a joke I dont get. Are we in the dream phase, or not? Was the dream the part where he woke up and all was well?

This is by far the worst story you ever wrote. Sorry, just dont get it. If I forget about the dream part, it still is bad, no tension, no emotion, not very good descriptions like you usually do about the countryside. I dont get it.

But a Nice way to see where every thing goes from here. He was Lucky enough to get rid of Susan. Then Lisa is Totally different from what he was expecting.

So .... Susan the 1st wife claims he was sleeping around, specifically with Lisa. Was Lisa causing her to think this, i.e. ruining his life "in cold blood"? Either way, I'm thinking they're both sick - and the constant insults coming from Lisa during his failing marriage would not have endured me to her at all.

cant wait till the next part !

I'm looking forward to part three to see if we are reading about a drug induced nightmare or actual events (or some of both)?

and the words hasn't even gotten around the marina, Yet, TK U MLJ LV NV

This guy must be the most deluded, brain dead and hated asshole in the history of their town for all the shit that was done to him without having a clue what was going on. His father,brothers, cousins, friends, workmates all either knew or took part in his wife fucking around and not one mentioned it or let it slip about what was going on. No one could be so disliked without someone not giving a fuck and rubbing it in his face.

The wife is just the usual LW moronic evil heartless piece of shit yet gifted with such acting ability to be able to fool the main character for so long that she could have made a career in Hollywood.

The husband kicks the shit out of two people and does nothing to anyone else? Not even the family members who stabbed him the back?

Too many mistakes and not enough making sense. No ending to this is going to be satisfying after the stupid "it was a dream" crap then trying to undo that in the next sentence in the next chapter. Plan out before you start, because otherwise it ends up like this.

Who the fuck is Roland?

Love it so far.

Please let these 2 have a happy ending.

And yes the wife was insane.

He needs to abandon the family and friends. Real life only moving away would work.

I like this chapter more. Larry remains a thick idiot, a clueless male, but the whole Lisa courtship is interesting and enjoyable. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

The first chapter everything is a dream. The second chapter it's real. Carvohi should have stuck with his original story, which was the dream sequence.

I liked the original version. I thought it was funny. Not any more. I gave 4 stars to the original version, but only 2 stars to this chapter. If it ain't b!roke, don't fix it

Susan is an interesting character. I need to know more.

I do hope that Susan isn't out of the picture and we get to see some retribution on here and the others in places of trust and responsibility (principal, teachers, brothers ) and revelations to their wives.

Is this a Xanax dream ?

He is a sexual master of a woman's body. Yet his wife cheated with everyone. Maybe only a master of Lisa. But he didn't marry her.

This plot isn't making sense. Better I should say, it is not entertaining to read. More like a chore.

Carvohi, I'm sorry I have to give up on this story. Usually, even when I don't like it I'll finish a story to get some constructive criticism. But these 2 chapters just beat me.

I enjoy reading your stories. But not this one.

Thank you for the effort. Read you next time.

AMerryman

If your intention is to mislead your readers, congratulations are in order. We are about as confused as one can be.

I dont see how you can save this story..... the characters are all so unlikeable, but you can be a very tricky writer so I will stay with it.

There's a part three? He's gone from stupid cuckold to willing playmate for some woman with masochistic fantasies who he'll play along with. So the easy answer is in part three Larry brings Lisa home to a healthy relationship. I don't think so. That would be too simple.

I like the writing. I'll string along for the end.

:-)

"That was when I found out I'd be paying her lawyer's fees as well as my own."

No. She can ask for it, but unless a judge orders it in the final divorce decree, she's on her own. And with her being the town pump, and bringing the divorce on herself, I'm pretty sure no judge would order it.

Methinks I won't bother reading part three. This is just too warped for me.

Gotta admit I liked this one and the bondage stuff actually turned my crank!

and I will complement you, as usual, when you give witness to God's amazing grace for mankind. I will save the rest of my comments after reading Pt. 3.

This sotry is crazy.

Wife cheats on him with half of his town,half Europe,his borthers,family ....

Lisa- is immature.

Could it be another Job story? Perhaps someone hacked Carvohi....

Thats about 10 more than it deserves,, what a waste of time . Wont bother with anymore of this trash lol

and one must use caution and care, TK U MLJ LV NV

what Carvohi's goal was with this story. Maybe it was just trolling for the sake of it or he was just writing whatever came into his head with no real story in mind. Whatever the case, the most bizarre thing is the comment that bobnbobbi left on this chapter. It's fucking hilarious in how tremendously warped it is. Truly bizarre.

The first chapter ended with "It's just a dream", then the second chapter picked up as if all the cheating by the wife was real. Next thing you know he's wining and dining and getting into some serious bondage with the clumsy waitress at the local cafe. This whole story is totally fucked up. Either that or it was written towards people with the IQ level of a coffee can. 2 stars, just because I am moderately interested in where the hell this thing is going to next.

You change the whole story to BDSM, hate it.

dumb cuck shit.

Not one person would have told him....

crazy bitch magnet.

has not watched the hot crazy matrix video.

You seem to know excactly what Lisa wants and needs, even though sheś not telling you, and you also seem to know how to use the right words at the precise moment to get her to accept you. Why couldn´t you do that with Susan? See, thats where your story losses itś appetite with me. If youŕe so attuned with a ladys needs? then how did Susan get away with so much cheating without you noticing anything was wrong. Susan confessed to you that she did it because she was mad at you because she thought you were cheating on her. And you never noticed it? After so many years with her, you never noticed that she was mad? What Susan was doing is revenge cheating, you can;t really blame her for thinking that cheating back on you was the right way to get even, even though she was wrong in cheating. What I see here is a total contradiction from the way you describe yourself in the first chapter to the way you describe yourself in the second chapter. Hopefully the third chapter will have a reconcilliation because of a misunderstanding that should have been brought up, instead of taking action the way Susan thought was the way to get even. Susan is sick. But sick with overwhelming jealousy. You need to go back and read what you wrote first so that your story can correspond with every chapter you follow up with. So far I llke what youŕe writing, itś just those contradictions. Try to make it realistic.

...to figure his wife is cheating, is now a brilliant sex master? Knows how to read a woman’s body like a Sunday School Primer?

The jump from dufus to Casanova is too great. He figures out how to “play” her in about 90 seconds, when before he hadn’t a clue on what to do.

But I think I was pretty much spot-on in my assessment of Larry after reading the first chapter of this story. He is definitely and most certainly, dumb as a box of rocks. It makes me wonder if the author intentionally designed “Larry” that way or if the character just kind of ‘came to the page’ like that. Either way I believe I’ve had just about all I want of Larry and his college educated intellect. I’ll leave it to others to read the last chapter of this saga. I’ve lost interest in it.

The whole premise of this story is in cold blood. Don't care if he is dumber then a sack of rocks, he was in the military. The military will not take you if your IQ is lower then 80. His best friend, and all his brothers screwed her. I don't see that many people doing so many underhanded things, his name isn't Job. Hell after the confession from his brother Johnny, he thanks him. With the amount of people she is screwing I am adding his lawyer to the pack. I would also look into her screwing students as well. And yet she still says she loves him.

Susan has to be the worst cheating wife I've ever seen in print. Story is really strange, but interesting. Have to see where you finish it.

My first wife was fucked up, she only said she hated me and loved the child molester. As far as I know she didn't screw half of the damned town, as far as I know, but then again... Sooner or later one of Susan's conquests is going to get jealous or a pissed off girlfriend/fiance/wife is going to put her in the ground. Why do I get the opinion this story was one you wrote sitting in your truck in the wee little hours?

Why would anyone enjoy this shit?

Characters are ALL implausible assholes: men and women both, every last one

Was this meant as a spoof?

Wish there was a rating lower than 1 star

I find this story a tad tedious. Nothing uplifting.

He trades one sick whore wife, for a sick almost frigid girlfriend!!!

I understand the story is fiction but is the character dreaming or are these characters really so weird? Characters are different maybe original in a way so credit Jed for that but the story just circles down the toilet.

I almost quit. But I am still curious;;;

Odd. Oblations, or ablutions?

Wth?

Great story, great series. The only weak spot I think is Susan's motivation; it just doesn't seem realistic. Of course, her whole romantic life and the fact she was able to hide it requires a certain amount of suspension of disbelief. Writing a story this compelling is extremely hard, especially when you have to think of good reasons why mostly-good people act irrationally (and treacherously). But the "you were sleeping with those Jews!" plot device doesn't really cut it, IMHO.

Kind of fucked up if you ask me. First of all, how did Susan manage to fuck every guy in town and not leave have any slip ups? Also got me wondering how his family got into his house to meet him when the locks were changed? I tend to agree with Larry that Susan is sick but I'm not so sure that Lisa isn't a tad over the edge also.

I had a friend, recently deceased, who attracted crazy bitches like this guy so sure, scenario is believable to me. Wife one had many red flags. Loving fiancées don’t take off for extended trips to anywhere. Biggest red flag, she’s a libtard.