All Comments on '"In Cold Blood" Pt. 03'

this was(n't) just a dream.

the best way to protect your family, TK U MLJ LV NV

The imperfect characters added to the realism. I liked the relationship between him and Lisa, the tension and anger felt real too. I did not care much for him risking Lisa, his, and his unborn child's future for Susan. Apparently Susan's family had plenty of money and could have hired people to extract Susan from the clutches of her pimps. Being a man is more than playing "white knight" to your ego. It is about knowing where your responsibilities lie and protecting your family at all costs. Risking jail for a crazy ex-wife turned whore is not what a responsible father to be would or should do.

Unfortunately, this was a miss for me. Thanks for the effort.

Nothin else to say, not up to your usual stuff. I still think you had a reason to post this, and it wasnt just to get another story out, Would love the author's insights into the meaning of the story, the purpose of posting it.

This series was disappointing. Not good, sorry.

I didnt get anything out of reading this story, which surprised me because I know good your stories normally are.

You must have been pleased with it or you would never have presented it to us, so I'm glad you, at least, enjoyed it.

Dont be a stranger, come back again soon.

standard carCuck crap.

Don't give a fuck what happened to the whore. Let her ass be sold on the street.

As @sugna says: they were all "Imperfect Characters"...Imperfect and with heavy traumas, each for different reasons. Of course her family was rich and could have got a professional team to help them, but they wanted it as low as possible. But in the end you understood that no team was necessary...And as the characters this story has some flaws too, maybe not at @carvohi usual level, but nevertheless a good reading...3*

Personally, I thought this could have stood on its own.

I'm going to have to read all three parts together, I'm still a little confused with how it all started.

I used to live on the Eastern Shore, so it's no surprise to me that everyone in this story is nuts. That entire region is wacko. Drive away across the Bay Bridge and you can literally feel the lunacy lifting as you head for civilization.

I think it's something in the water.

lets make her a victim, all women are victims oh my god the horror of being a woman. they cant shit without being a victim. lolololololol

Rip tear goug but ill run to your rescue lolololol

wait wait it gets better they dont know she is divorced and so fucked up they need some men who she shit on to save her.....new wife and kid but wait let me save the cunt......lolololol

you cant rape a whore or save a cunt, or write a story where women are responsible for their actions.....come on fembots save mankind from women.

Long time lurker, first time commenter.

Don't let the assholes dissuade you from writing! I appreciate your stories and the effort and courage required to publish them.

Thank you for writing it . Now do a total BTB . Take it to the limits.

Boooooooooooring.

Nothing fucking happens. And he's still a cuck.

... stupid. It was all over the place. No proper plot development. Too much of rambling.

if life is stranger than fiction this is a righteous story.

Some of you need to stop shooting the messenger and enjoy the ride.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

The guy sure can pick his women! Don't let the anom trolls get you down. Now finish Revelations!!

Difficult to follow at times. I would have liked the epilogue to include a bit about Roland, but the story is probably more realistic without that. Lisa sure was a strange bird. Lots of stars for imaginative and different; not so many for pacing and coherency.

The different chapters didn't really flow well in a cohesive way.

I'm not sure why you added the dream/not a dream switch.

Too improbable that Susan slept with everyone around him for years, and his entire family including parents knew it and no one commented.

Lisa turning from jealous, scarred, S&M fetish girl to non-jealous, vanilla, girl next door again (in private) in one scene was odd.

Roland was sort of a MacGuffin.

Good writing, but again not your best. Thanks for offering it up though

Let the anonymous bastards get you down... please.

Would have been good to read what happened to susan when she left, like how did she fell into the pimps hands,

Really curious about Roland and Susan. She has obviously been mentally ill for a very long time. He has an interesting story as well.

Well great writing skill

I think it was a very sad tale.

Were any of them normal?

Seldom i read a grater crap!!!

Susan, how was she pimped out, how was she taken, what happened after her rescue. Still a sick whore.

Chicken Noodle Soup but without the chicken or the noodles.

Susan sounded like she was Loose in the Head. like PTSD. and since Roland had the same thing he could handle and Control her.

Larry was portrayed just too damn stupid to have any interest in him or his miserable life. Sorry Jedd. Mostly I really enjoy your stuff.

All jokes aside! You have done well on this story. You know I was Gobsmacked with the amount of women who like to be submissive? I read online that it is as much as 90%? Where do they get their statistics from? Anyway I loved the story! Please may I have some more? Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE ps I wish I could give you more complements BYE!

I want to see that Greek guy suffer. So please, write a follow up where he did the mistake to try to seduce Lisa. Or give the permission to someone else to do it. Thanks for a good read!

Cold blood indeed, how do you forget something like that. Friends can be and are worth more than money. Good ending. I like your other storys too.

This story is all over the place. You never focused on his healing,new marriage ...

Like I said before,in one of your stories : you used to be a good writer,but now ccc

Three stars

I waited til the story ended to comment. Part 1 was excellent the first time I read it and is still great in itself. Parts 2 & 3 destroyed surprise at the end of part 1. The overall sluttiness of the wife was excessive, that he didn't notice for so long bewildering and that no one told him unbelievable. The nutcase that became his second wife... Any rational man would have gotten in his boat and relocated further south....Key West sounds like a good distance.

The series stumbles and jerks between disparate parts. Yes, they are connected, just barely. After most of the pieces I was left scratching my head thinking "What was the point of that and why would I care?" The story did not engage me. The writing was OK.

The protagonist (?) seems to have gotten upstaged at the end.

Stupid fucking cuck whore apologist shit. Should have left her to die, better to let her suicide herself than to rescue a cheating slut CUNT!

is what a common story is. This is uncommon and far from neat. It is not a mechanical cuck story or a rehearsed RACC or a paint by numbers BTB. It is a meloncholy exploration of a guys messed up world The characters are all so unpredictable. Fantastic read Tons of questions left unanswered. Would love to see the Susan-Roland relationship explored. 5*

This was a bit convoluted and strange story. Unfortunately there are significant parts that are true to life. For those bitching, they probably have never left their safe homes with mommy holding their hands. They are much like a Donald Trump who has no idea of the "real world". There are those with much less than what Trump (and others) was given and what he stole from others.

Very good, interesting story.

Tiny Tim

Just had to comment to thank you for posting all three parts within a short period of time. I have been disappointed several times by writers who got a great start on a story but left it undone. Some due to an untimely demise. Others because they just quit for some reason. I now look at all multi part stories with trepidation and do not start to read until the final chapter is posted. Now to peruse your offering. I am sure it will be another of your 5* efforts...

Couldn't help but see the "bar code" tattoo reference. Hit close to home? 5*

...but why would he have anything to say to Clay beyond, "Eat sh*t and die!"

Roland was such a badass that Larry was probably more of a liability than a help.

How your story led some to comment on Trump

Funny those types never say anything about what the Clinton's have stolen or lives those two have ruined

Broderick-Willey to name just two

So absurd as to be worthless

Not sure what these 3 parts were all about; a bewildering collection of broken story lines, disheveled scenes, actions, and commentary. What was this about? The first wife was a slut that screwed every swinging dick on the eastern seaboard, pretty much all his family and friends and probably most of Europe too, apparently because she wanted to cuckold the only man she loved?

So when eventually discovered, she divorces him and, like the next day or something, he's trying to marry this ugly chick that's now beautiful and has always loved him except now she doesn't. Out of left field we find she only wants to play bondage games, but with no sex for him. Then he tries to drug her, but that pisses her off so she throws him out, which he can't prevent because he's such a pussy, and then she immediately joins him in his boat for sex, but without the bondage games which she apparently doesn't want anymore.

Then he has to go save his ex-wife, who's apparently become a whore for mobsters or something, and only her ex-husband and some guy who beat him up earlier in this hodgepodge of anecdotes and cliches, have any chance of removing her from the whoring lifestyle in some half-assed rescue/intervention thing. They save the ex-wife and then the ex-military guy, along with his ex-wife, disappear while the ex-husband goes home to live ever after.

Does that about sum it up? We knew you had to have a cuckolded husband in this story sooner or later, Carvohi, because that's what you really aspire to - but that and the rest of this labyrinth is outrageously stupid and pointless. Total waste of time, but I still gave you a 3 simply because you made the effort to put it to paper.

I have two family members who have 7 tours of Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan between then. They both suffer from PTSD. One if the boys awoke from a nightmare with a chokehold on his wife. The other boy is just a shell of the man he once was. But is extremely well trained in a long list of martial arts. Why our government doesn't do anything to help such men is baffling. Excellent story. Excellently written. One of your best.

maybe I just a vindictive asshole, but she deserved to die. They all knew about what she doing and no one said anything to him. They were a pile of shit. He shouldn't have moved a figner to help her and let her die like the cheap whoere she was. Maybe she was sick, but then Where were her friends and family? Why the stupid cuckold took care of her nobody did anything and now he is the one who has to recue her? Fuck them if you ask me.

even though situations arise to imitate those scenes, TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm thinking you should have pulled this one before it got posted, too. That would have saved a whole lot of people from wondering just what the hell this story is all about. 1 star, and I think that's being generous.

It was never explained why Susan though she was justified in cheating like she did. She claimed that he had been cheating, but I think most would call B.S. She also in the same conversation claimed she could cheat so easily because she knew his schedule. She had to be wrong in one of those two items.

I think I'd have a hard time not ending up in jail if that many people in town were either screwing my wife, and keeping her secret. I am afraid anytime someone even looked at me cross eyed I would be lashing out. The only recourse there would be to move.

Figure a way to make them pay so big a price they'll regret the hell out of having done it.

The story was well written but it wasn't for me. If I was to vote on it, I'd only give it two stars so I'll pass.

Lisa is right she is not mistaken she is Jewish under Jewish law. Her birth right of religion is handed down from the mother not the father. If the father was Jewish and the mother was not she would not be but because it is the other way around she is and so will all her of her children be it is GODS LAW AS WRITTEN IN THE OLD TESTAMENT so be it.

pathetic cuck shit.

"You were married to her once" - He was married to a lie. She fucked around from the beginning, with nothing but malicious intent. She made him a laughing stock in his own town, even went after his best friend and his own family to maximize the thrill of fucking him over so badly.

And you're going to sit there and act like he owes her something for that? Maybe a bottle of bleach and instructions to see how fast she can chug it, but that's about it. I don't care what kind of mental disorder she supposedly had. That's nothing but the modern day version of "the devil made me do it"; a convenient excuse for people not to take responsibility for their actions, and to be forgiven for any wrongdoing.

Fuck that. We are all responsible for the things we do, and we all need to be held accountable when our actions cause trouble. End of story.

Well if he had taken her back you might have a point. But he didn't and you don't. Real men step up and Fup other men who hurt women. Anyone who doesn't deserves to be cucked.

That's true. Friend of mine has an Italian dad and a Jewish mother. The Jews think he's a Jew and the Italians claim him as Italian.

Yeah, she was in trouble. The kind of troubles were she put herself in. He certainly doesn't owe her anything after what she put him through. So why risking everything to help the slut? Let her die and put her out of her misery. For those who say that she was a woman in distress, they should better think that there are a lot of women like her, and some of them actually deserve to be helped better than that cunt he married. So fuck her and let her die painfully as she deserves.

You are a really pathetic individuall. She's a mentally sick woman. She needs help just like anyone including vets. What if it was you daughter, would you have her "chug some bleach". You really an uncaring moron.

What kind of person are you for telling someone to kill themselves, so everybody who has done wrong should go kill themselves. Suicide is not an answer to anything.

but after you prove, to my cost, that you are a deceitful, worthless human, don't expect me to expend energy to save you. I

'll keep my energy to help people who have not already demonstrated they are scum.

It's not so much that I'd want her to die, it's that I wouldn't care either way.

A messed up women and story. Don’t care for the plot at all, although it is well wtitten

So, the clueless wimp who can't find his dick with both hands turns into a confident dom, and then after he gets tired of getting topped from the bottom, Mr. Nice Guy turns into a piece-of-shit wannabe-rapist, after which his girlfriend suddenly loses all interest in BDSM and all of her sexual hangups magically go away?

Either I'm getting whiplash from all of the characterization changes, or more likely, he's still a clueless wimp, and his girlfriend-now-wife has a master on the side (Roland?) who's taking care of her needs and kindly letting her occasionally fuck her husband. Good chance her master's getting all of the variety she refuses to give her husband, probably with some sort of "If he can't handle non-vanilla sex, then the only thing he's getting is vanilla sex" logic (which isn't completely unfair).

The only way I can make this story make sense is that the main character is an unreliable narrator, and "I believed her. Why not I believed everything else any woman ever told me." was intended to clue the reader in that Lisa was fucking him over just as much as Susan did.

A well written story of a sick woman, a man out of his depth, a messed up girl, a hypocritical family, slimy friends and a wounded man tending to the sick woman's wounded soul.

A bit too much machismo for my taste, but a moving and thought provoking tale nonetheless. It's a pity that so many commentators seem to have lost their basic humanity and think punishing sickness is better than trying to find a cure. Still. that seems to be par for the course on this site.

LA

good stuff, 5 stars

After reading the story I find the writing good, the language ok & grammar fine. The characters however leave me cold. All the first wife wants to do is humiliate her husband & laugh at him for being a decent man. His friends & family are the most appalling bunch of people I've had the misfortune to read about. With friends like that, who needs enemies ?

His second wife has apparently been so badly treated that she can't have sex without BDSM but has quick release buttons on her restraints & uses her past to avoid oral & anal sex. He is too nice a guy & frankly, I think they all deserve each other.

Anyone else?

The characters are complex and believable. Mental illness is something I am nog very knowledgeable about. Great story by a great author. Great work. 5 stars

You were married to her. Yep were being the case, family knows that shes fucked up after she tried suicide yeah thats on them. He tried to help they didnt back him up shes their problem

Not a very happy story or satisfying one either.

Just so I understand Mr. Author. Susan tries to kill herself in her parents home, Dad finds her and saves her life and then they just let her leave! You have her try suicide but not get her help! I think by law when someone tries to kill themselves they have to sit with a psychologist before being released from the hospital. Her family knows she's self destructing but doesn't lock her down? They just hire a PI so he can report back she's dead or a street walker now? She's living at home again but her family didn't seem to know she's divorced?

Carvohi you really did a poor job of thinking this through. And the above reason is just example. Why did Larry go to college? To learn how to fix boats and resell them? To be a fishing guide? Susan says he's very good looking so why did he only date/marry two flawed women, not like he was trying to save them he didn't even know they were damaged!

Just for a whore. I would've left her to die. Why play captain save a hoe? She got off on fucking his family memeber/friends .. she doesn't love him. She can't even spell the word Love let alone know the meaning. He should've just told the sister the whore has nothing to do with him and he hope she dies with a cock down her throat.. we are talking about years of betrayal and disrespect. I don't know any man who would give two fucks about a two cent whore.

...a great story. This one was very interesting and the two main characters drew my empathy. 4 stars

Great story,and Roland is my favorite character by far. No idea why Susan was such a mess. Can't figure why Larry would even care what happened to the whore. Just one of those stories you come across that never make sense.

Of some hydrocodone in this one. Don't remember Chuck singing 'Love Potion #9, I do remember The Clovers, The T-Bones and the big hit by The Searchers. Loved Lisa's costumes; even though I was raised Baptist I envisioned the school girl outfit to be a Catholic schoolgirl but she didn't have a sexy teacher, nurse or office lady? "What was it with me and women? Was I that stupid?" He was joking, right? Good thing for me I never lived in Pennsylvania or I sure as hell would have been found by at least one of your crazy women. I just wonder when Susan first started riding on the short bus? There were at least four seriously damaged people in this story, I'm pretty sure Lisa and Larry will be alright. Roland probably will make it, wouldn't bet anything I couldn't afford to lose on Susan though, don't really see any reason to wish her anything at all. All I can say Jedd is since you've stated that most of your stories are based at least in part on the true life of your self or those close to you it must have never been boring. Signed: BTW

brilliant betrayal, not many authors on here can write a truly brutal cruel bitch who actually gets off on betrayal and keep it at least plausible, very good.

A little better.

good story and that is what I am interested in. Well told

Fucking fags so many fags in this site with weak ass lucky characters. Fucking fags and shit writers

Great series in spite of what BS Anonymous says!!!

Sorry, not a single redeeming character among the lot of them and a thoroughly dispiriting series.

Disliked all three parts.

I don't often give 1* but this is it.

Like 3 different jigsaw puzzles dumped together then some pieces were forced together. Some interesting new pictures came out but not a real picture or anything that made sense. Why did Jed leave out aliens and vampires? The betrayal and bad characters were so bad why were none of them killed painfully? I think Jed didn’t outline this story to know where he was going or when he got the characters there. All three chapters did not flow in a consistent direction. What was Jed’s purpose of the it was just a dream at the end of chapter 1?

Great overall story - Solid character development, plot, and believable story arc. 5*

Too unrealistic. I couldn't empathize with any of the characters.

"... and I'd go straight, but I needed to sew a few more wild oats." You can sew cloth but you would sow wild oats.

Broken people mending other broken people and unltimately themselves.

Loved it. Well written, despite the occasional lapse in spelling and grammar, and as improbable as some of the plot twists may seem, real life can be stranger still.

LA

I good tale, well written. Ignore the anons who have never contributed word #1 to this site.

This author is one of the worst and most stupid on this site. Writer has a lot of dumb ideas such as a husband should always for give the wife's affairs... it is always hubbies fault etc. This story did nothing to change that opinion. Well written but why would any family do that. Every character was despicable low life.

Okay tale all though Truman Capote might not agree

Great read.,sometime I believe all women are a little crazy,especially if they are in love.

Wow! Great piece of fiction. Thank you.

Ed

Ahhh..............ehh.

This guy needs a regular lady bad, from a unrepentant delusional whore to a submissive who won't have sex with you, but still have the audacity to be jealous. Yeah no thanks, but decent story

Really, really want to hear Roland's story.

This made zero sense ...

Why would you ever want to hear from a woman like Susan?

Weird story... Susan was certifiably insane. All for revenge even before thier marriage .. and after. Mentally broken. Meanwhile Lisa ended up being a project but that seemed to work out.

Interesting. Hard to give a rating to so I gave it a 4. Could have been 3 separate stories. Larry & Susan BTB. Larry and Lisa, happily ever after. OR, just Susan after divorce and her whoring troubles. Thus, I feel each segment deserved better explanation, BUT it's your story, so thanks for writing it.

Outstanding plot and character development.

Weird story. Writer just can't help themselves; the husband is always some manner of weak and rather moronic man. This story even includes a venerated soldier stand-in because god forbid the husband actually be strong.

Strangely, the writer also doesn't seem to be capable of writing normal mcs, instead, the mains all seem to have some sort of mental defect going on in each and every story. That's fine, here and there, but ...

Great story, thanks.