by littleferal
She did this.... she did that... you don't have to start every sentence with the word he or she. To be frank, it's annoying, and it reads like stereo instructions. It was so distracting that you couldn't get into it.
I think the way you described the female character was beautifully done, and the use of he and she was not too distracting. Also if this is that the type of reading you were looking for you shouldn't have clicked on it and read it.
very good description for both POVs, realistic imagery. keep up the good work