All Comments on 'In the Middle of Tomorrow'

Please read other submissions. I tried to enjoy your piece but it was so disjointed and uninspired that I ended up bolting from it. If you read a lot, you should know how paragraphs are split and if you don't please read authors like Carson Shepherd, Colleen Thomas, Velvetpie and DW Simon. Their submissions will help, as well as the use of one of the editors. Sincerely looking forward to reading your next sub.

I appreciate what you're trying to do but I didnt get into it. Maybe it's my mood and maybe its the name Jimmy I dont like the kid names they distract me and take me out of the story. Like Bob. Not as bad is anything as bad but bad. Go for more not less and for the love of God dont read authors here for style. Read Faulkner.

Just a comment. Nothing wrong with your style, don't mind the complaints of others. Carson Shepherd, Colleen Thomas and DW Simon are all great authors, but their way of writing isn't the only way. Your style is more like Jack Kerouac's. "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous, yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars; and in the middle, the blue center-light pops, and everybody goes 'awwwww'."

Keep it up.

"That bus train plane all those horrible torture devices—that was all they were—that was the wrong of everything—everybody was going to tomorrow and tomorrow was just a half-assed version of today. Tomorrow had only memories of yesterday and the day after that was another yesterday to run from."

Amazing, totally poetic and I totally get it. I love your style, it's highly original and I applaud you for having the courage to use it. You're another Poe, you are. You use of language is beautiful and meaningful, and your stories read like thoughts, incoherent and not in neat little boxes. It's a talented writer who can put a mind's ramblings on paper.