All Comments on 'In the Service of His Penance'

You have a very strange way of story writing, seems almost more like poetry. However it does not work for me for actually reading a story. Just too many meaningless words, they don't build a feeling or a picture, they just obscure the story and are a frustration.

Yet, my poetic style of writing has developed quite a following over the past twenty years at other sites. Some people like it a lot. I read somewhere once that when you write prose you should write it like your writing poetry. Just a thought.

John

Thanks so much for your observation. Your critique has proved invaluable in my rewrite. I have pruned most of the poetic language out to leave a more bare-bones story. Thanks for indicating the lyrical parts as stumbling blocks for the reader. Very apt commentary.

John