All Comments on 'In the Silence'

I don't know if it was intentional, or not, but I had a hard time following a lot of the story and kept having to go back and check myself. My frustration almost mirrored the frustration the main characters had communicating with each other. I guess writing a character who is mute is difficult, and I think you did a wonderful job, for someone who isn't to understand. I normally don't read Incest stories. I've been reading “Toofy”, which I enjoy a lot, so I thought I would give this a chance. I'm glad I did. It was a lovely, and hot, story of 2 people some what broken by life who manage to help each other. And really hot! I was a little disappointed that in the end after making love she didn't say something besides “Hmm?”.

Cheers

Hot n sexy once he figured things out. I am hoping there is more to this story soon.

Didn't feel much of romance when the begining started off about about her reminiscing about blowing her boyfriend and shit

Super story. Really good.

Sorry but I just couldn't get into this story. I had a hard time reading it & it aggravated me when she keep talking about past boyfriends. I can't even finish it so I don't know if you explain or not. But how does she date if she doesn't speak & has social anxiety? It seems she just hooks up with guys anyway. That definitely is not a characteristic of someone with that type of disorder. Wouldn't the brother be afraid she would be taken advantage of in that situation?

Thank you for the story. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Mia and Trent coming to terms with their feelings was cute and I appreciated Trent being at least somewhat hesitant to go forward. I would've liked to see a more complete feeling ending though, if I'm explaining myself right. It felt like you could've expounded upon it a bit more to wrap a neat little bow around their story. Overall though, fantastic. 5/5

Stopped reading and rated 1 at the line about bringing boyfriends home and having loud sex with them. If you write a cuckold story, you have to make that clear from the start.

Very good. Need more.

Great story, l was hoping she’d talk again.

Do you plan to continue this lovely story??

Scores 5/5

You fucked us........ LOL. I was sure she would cry out his name as she came...........

More!!! We need more of the story! Does she start talking again? Do they move away to live as H&W and start a family? I need more!!

Now I know how a woman feels.

She's had the build-up... she's feeling the power... she's just arriving at the expectation of a great finish...

When...

POP!

P.E.!

And hopes that a re-match ... satisfies?

Well, between your last submission and this one, you and I have become pen pals. I'd like to think that maybe you and I are possibly friends even. So please keep that in mind as you read what is probably the first negative review I have ever given to you. 🙏

I loved the concept that you were going for. It has huge potential and not just as a one off story. This can be easily converted into a serial just like Houseboat or Toofy, following Mia as she heals back to recovering her ability to verbally communicate. But there's a number of problems with this submission, and some of them have already been discussed by other users. My biggest concern was that even though Mia can use written communication to speak to Trent with her tablet that she never writes out in plain English 'stop treating me like porcelain, I'm not delicate.' Maybe if you hadn't had her bringing men home, you could have written into it an element of shyness that made her too scared to come out with that to Trent. 🤔

The whole bringing home hookups is problematic for several reasons. Just like another reader pointed out, you have her getting panic attacks in crowds and crowded settings, and yet you have her picking up strangers for sex. Presumably she was hitting the club scene to accomplish that. Or if she was selecting a random individual in a different way, why would she duck behind Trent and hide from people? It's like a non sequitur.

Trent's transition from brother to lover also felt a bit disjointed also. It was a bumpy ride that lurched then coasted before lurching again. It didn't seem to flow smoothly from his subconscious love to reluctance to the final epiphany. Also, he should have had more to say about the one night stands and boyfriends being brought home if he truly was a caring, protective brother that you were trying to project. If I had been in Trent's shoes, not only would I have been concerned about Mia being sort of slutty, but she's bringing strangers to [our] MY home as well. 😥 🏡 It felt like Mia didn't respect Trent and his rights at all. 😕

You've really written some excellent stuff in the past. This one is good too, but not really up to the higher standards that I know that you are capable of doing. I almost feeling like you set a production quota for yourself and let the quality slide on this one just to get something done. I hope that you don't think that I'm being harsh. I'm just being straight up and honest because I want to be a friend.

And like someone else posted, it would have been totally awesome if Mia had yelled out, "Treeennnnttt!!!" when she felt him cumming inside of her for the first time. -JL-

Yet another gem exploring the thoughts and emotions of his characters. Control, fear, trust, taboo thoughts. Awesome discovery of all these within the story.

5 stars...more please..lol

I enjoyed this story and the concept of it. I thinknyou should continue with it in a followup chapter. You have left some things open that i would enjoy a conclusion to. You touched on them with kids and maybe more words coming out of her.

Good story though

she is an absolutely obnoxious character

The way she is written she is ungrateful, self-absorbed (in self pitty and self gratification) and not the least empathetic.

She belittles her brother, not caring that because of her he didn´t have any meaningfull relationship.

All that is important to her is herself and only herself!

HE works so they have food and a roove over their heads, HE suffers also through his fears driving a car sacrificing every minute for her... and all she does is fucking, wallowing self pitty, belittle him, fucking some more and doing nothing.

With this as baseline she is utterly despicale and to be honest I have to tell this reads like some LW stories where the spouse is malicious.

The remainder of the story and the writing is good but if 50% of the MC in an 2person story are unlikebale asholes... not more than 2*

good for her that she gets what she wants and that she is having her fun

what about Trent?

or is he some sort of sub?

At times I think the buildup was drawn out too far, but it did help me as a reader feel the frustration of the characters. Not sure if that was your intent, but it was brilliant if it was on purpose and annoying as hell if not. LOL! Clearly there's more legs to the story arc. Looking forward to the next chapter. (I was expecting her to start talking in the middle of her climax...) 5*

As others have said, good story but some things seemed to hold it back. Mia ended up being a very difficult character to root for, she was annoying, Rude and Ungrateful. I hated the fact that she simply couldn't tell Trent what she wanted in terms of not being Fragile or whatever, she clearly wasn't shy and had the ability to type everything easily. I hated the fact that she tended to be so Violent, I would assume that there is at least another part of this planned, but if not then it seemed very unfinished. Things seemed to kind of...not go anywhere. It seemed like it was building up for her to have some sort of a breakthrough at the end and then...nothing. idk.

Neither character in this excellent story was really worth the effort. She was an overbearing, well used slut with massive social anxiety issues, and he was a card carrying, proud as fuck cuck in training, which is ok I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing. But I'm guessing that most readers probably aren't. I could be wrong there, what do I know? This is just my view.

I mean in the story she kept going on about how absolutely pissed off she was getting by being taken care of, and yet, how many times did she end up hiding behind her brother in social confrontations???

The story however, was excellent. Difficulties with dealing with sibcest, and a disability. Some interesting dialogue and communication, but the very strong characters ruined it due to their being so fundamentally unlikeable.

Mind you, I still gave it 5 stars, because I really like your writing style, as well as the uniqueness of your stories. Everyone loves a strong woman, dude, but this isn't really the definition of a strong woman... .

Too slow, pages go by and nothing really happens.

I persevered, but by page 5 I just gave up.

Great theme to the story, but you dragged it out for too long - sorry !

Rapier

Beautiful

Read a few of your stories. Romantic and very sad. Sex just a little bit, mark accents. All the characters are traumatized. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Hard to take.

Mia, apart from the mental trauma that led to the inability to speak, self-centered bitch. Two years of acting like a cheap prostitute, not paying attention to her brother, who takes care of her. Two years lazy to communicate even through her smartphone with him. Even when she pays attention to her brother, she won't write to him about her feelings, needs and expectations, but continues to torment him. Trent is the protagonist here. HERO. And he's the one who holds everything together and moves things along.

That's why they will be fine.

It should have ended like this:

- I. Love. You." Mia said.

Very good story with flawed believable characters - and I meant flawed as a good thing.

couldn't enjoy because you wrote mia a very much an unlikeable character. damn shame really, you can write but im sorry to you this mia didnt hit the mark. also this dragged out far too much that it got so boring to the point that i started skimming.

A lot longer than I like but this was a damn good story. Thank you

Pls understand that its impractical putting promiscuous girls in stories about romance.

Another chapter ?? - there is way too much left unresolved.

Neat story. I would love to read a sequel

next chapter please

@anon > Another chapter ?? - there is way too much left unresolved.

I'm afraid that's never going to happen. Ever. I have received an enormous amount of hate mail, and a number of worse things that I reported, over this story. Whilst I like my story, I'm afraid some rather vitriolic people don't and my peace of mind is worth more.

I can agree with the earlier posters about some of the weaknesses of the story, but that doesn't keep me from wanting to see more of their relationship as it changes. Don't let haters tear you down, Mia and Trent deserve more from you. I think now that they are shifting from sibling love to lovers a lot of the issues that people didn't like will work themselves out. Trent's overprotectiveness will shift to possessiveness as his energy gets redirected to the bedroom. Mia's bitchiness will start to break from feeling loved as a person, not as a sister or a ward. They will appreciate more about each other as this develops and it is sincerely a shame if it ends here. I would love to see parts 2-10 of their story.

> Don't let haters tear you down, Mia and Trent deserve more from you.

Not just haters. Death threats. I got actual death threats (with efforts to track me down IRL) over this story. A sequel is never going to happen.

So good.... But seriously, there's got to be a chapter 2.... This one is so obviously not finished!

Oh wait ... It's fine.... People sent death threats? Yeah ....I can't believe that shit... Nevermind then. We can just pain out own conclusion... . Definitely there was an expectation of her saying "I love you".. in my mind that at least definitely happens!

Wow! Reading comments... Shit like "promiscuous in a romance"! Seriously? Are you for real? That was a self medication.... She was fucking traumatized to where she has panic attacks and couldn't even speak!

I read in the comments that you won't write chapter two, bummer, I am heavily invested in these characters. Once again five stars. Don't let the haters stop your genius writing.

Death threats? What the actual fuck. I am so sorry, friend.

When this story first came out, I'll admit, it didn't quite catch my interest. Combined with the fact that it brushed up against some of my own traumas, I think I gave up on it towards the beginning of the second page. I'm very glad I decided to give it another go; while it doesn't quite displace Cocktails, Heels, & Desperate as my favourite of your stories, it does handily slot into place ahead of Gifted to be my second favourite. I very much look forward to reading more in the future, even if it, sadly, can't involve these two characters.

I appreciate the fact that Mia didn't magically regain the full ability to speak by the end; sadly, mental health recovery is never that straightforward. I would have loved to see a sequel in which she works up to being able to string together three words and tell Trent, 'I love you', but I'm glad it didn't happen here in this chapter; it would have been too soon and would have cheapened the result. While I'm sad there can be no such sequel, I quite understand why. I'm so sorry you were targeted in that way.

Interesting variation for a plot. I thought it worked, and I’d love to read part II.

You are an excellent writer. The emotions showing through these characters while learning to live and move forwards is amazing. You write it well. I cannot imagine why someone would want to harm you for writing this beautiful tale. Which is what is is... a tale. If such a story is hurtful to read then stop reading it. We- all of us- want to be heard and understood...right? We demand freedom of speech and to do as we wish with our own lives. Yet people will stand in their own self-righteousness and demand the other person (you shakna and other writers) to be silent..to dictate what should and shouldn't be said. What hypocrites people can be. I am saddened that this story is unable to be completed. I however LOVED this first part and so in my mind and imagination I finished it with an awesome ending. I think you would like it :-) Thank you for all your writing. Be strong and have faith!

Great premise and writing. However, trauma or no the way the sister treated people was rotten and not loving. She drags guys home just to have sex and then one day decides she is in love with her brother and expects him to turn on a dime and begin to pursue her. Also, she want to change him to fit her needs of a boyfriend. Great story; terrible character.

Good

Love the story .love all these stories really sad there wont be a sequel

Although the premise of the story is very good the characters do not match the sentiment. Too many holes in the story. Mia, who is afraid of being in public has no issues going to night clubs to pick up a quick lay. She is portrayed as a slut.

This would have been much better as a story of healing and realization. Mia doesn't even get her voice back after bonding with her brother.

Sorry, but this was a disappointment.

A follow up on their lives would be cool and into the point that mia starts talking again.

Please do not end there, CONTINUE the story, wanna see if she gets her voice back

Stupid story with a dumb whore of a sister

A one or two page epilogue would be nice. Enjoyed the story although I felt Trents jealousy. At least she got to also understand she slept with so many men making her brother even more jealous than she was with him and handful compared to her parade.

We need more

Story is bad, couldn't read more than a few paragraphs. The sister is fragile. She can't speak because of mental trauma, yet she repeatedly berates her brother for treating her fragile when she clearly is fucking fragile. All the while repeatedly bringing home random men to fuck. Author, you need to pick one character dynamic and stick to it, this complex crap is not to your strengths.

if your story is so bad you get death threats, why haven't you taken it down yet? are you perhaps lying for views?

I've met much worse mutes then this brat. Though none of them went hard on getting fucked a lot.

"Lying for views" Bro we in the comment section of an incest erotica.

Need more chapters, I thought she would maybe speak another word or two, just need to read more of those two please. Great story despite the bad comments

10/10, I like how Mia did just automatically learn how to speak at the end but you HAVE TO continue these two. Don’t just leave it at this please, the next story with these two maybe she learns more but you know, not magically fully know how and at the end they secretly get married given how it’s illegal, but definitely please continue this. Ignore the threats, you’re an excellent writer so don’t let it get it you!

Another fucking amazing story and I loved the idea, and how you wrote Mia.

This is going in my favorites. It's such a unique concept and I would love to see more of it.