In the Warm and Cozy

The tableau shifts, becoming the raucous women at play, testing, Snooky thinks, the boundaries of their extraordinary love, tempering it, like she remembers the process to harden steel by adding heat. Onto the edge of the bed, her Nellie is arranged, legs spread--her vagina an open book, bound in blush-y blond luxuriant hair. Snooky stares bewitched by the beauty of her Auntie even in this nearly clinical pose. She remembers the stirrups of her last GYN visit--yuck, but here in the soft light, among her Janie and her Irmy, Nellie is a queen, her throne the soft bed, being served by her hand maidens.

Irma knells in front of Nellie, blocking Snooky's view. Janie knells beside Irma her arms resting possessively on Nellie's leg (am I being jealous, Snooki wonders). The banter begins. (Intuitively, Snooki realizes it's almost like they're afraid of being too serious with each other--as though their magic spell might be broken.)

Irma: 'Snip! Snip! Miss Puss, goodbye pretty playground.'

Janie, rubbing Irma's back: 'Don't cry Irmy-the-Wormy, Miss Puss can still come out and play...the better to see you.'

Irma snickering, her eyes on Janie: 'Will Miss Puss shed a tear to welcome the Virgin Vamp? Will we find her teeth marks underneath my sweetheart's jungle?'

Janie, her face blushing: 'Noo, but...'

Irma, her eyes lively, 'Ah, look at our innocent Rosie, her face aglow...what?'

Janie, 'I accidentally made your sweetheart cum, and well...'

Nellie adds, 'And I made the virgin cum on purpose and I'm proud of it!' and kisses Irma.

Irma, laughing, 'So you were sitting around and decided to play 'kiss and cum' in the mall and somehow the virgin misunderstood the rules and made my true love cum?'

Janie, smiling, relieved that Irma isn't mad, 'We weren't playing anything, Nellie was just trying on clothes and after she attacked me, I...just...got carried away. We were in that big Dillard's changing room and I was innocently minding my own business and she put my hand there and then...it happened. No wonder you were so wet, slut!' She adds, pinching Nellie on her inner thigh.

Irma, "Very daring of you virgin girl or...maybe not--huh?"

Snooki decides to interrupt, curious about the answer but almost afraid to hear it. Into the room she tiptoes, until she kneels just like one of the girls by Janie's side, snuggling close, and holds onto Auntie Nellie's calf--just in case, since she's not sure where Irma's scissors are.

'Hi! You little scamp!' Irma laughs, 'Be careful not to startle the stylist, she's armed!'

'That's why I'm holding onto Auntie's leg."

Janie smiles ruefully at Snooky, thinking, well this little pussy is out of the bag. 'If you want to watch Aunt Nellie get trimmed, better ask pretty please--she might be a little intimidated sitting like this?' And puts her hand over Snooki's eyes.

Nellie looks at her curious niece and wonders out loud, 'What would Dessie want?' Almost on cue, stage left, she has her answer as into the room steps her sister-in-law.

Grinning, Desdemona observes: 'So this is what happens at your slumber parties!'

Snooki, blushing furiously, brushes Janie's hand away and explains, 'No...I snuck up on them. It's not their fault. I wanted to watch--they're going to trim Aunt Nellie."

'I think Janie is right better ask your Aunt Nellie.--It's OK with me, Sis, as long as I get to watch, too. I'll be the chaperone!'

Nellie giggles, 'OK, just us girls then...don't be traumatized, Snooki.'

'Yes, ma'am.--My Brazilian training will be our secret, unless I can bring my girlfriends over for a demonstration..." Snooki giggles, dodging a pinch from Nellie and Irma who has put the little comb she was using down (no scissors yet).

'I'm glad your daughter has a sense of humor, Des.' Nellie says.

'Yes, she can be a real smart ass when she puts her mind to it.' Desdemona says and strokes the back of Snooki's head, letting her arm casually rest on Janie's arm. Snooky notices this telltale affection and smiles. After all that she has secretly heard, her only fear is that her Janie will get scared away by their hidden love, but in Snooki's mind, that's just unnecessary drama. Maybe now is a good time to reveal what she knows and how she supports whatever love will keep her best friend happy.

Irma clears her throat professorially, 'Let's begin ladies! We have here a virgin--well not too virgin, sorry Snook--bush desperately in need of trim. I personally like the untamed look, myself. But Miss Vamp and Naughty Nellie have conspired--I wonder how they conspired.' Irma gives Desdemona and Snooky a big fake wink making Desdemona reconsider whether this demonstration might be a little too risqué for her daughter, despite being already 18.

'Let's not dwell on how or whether the Dillard's changing room will ever be the same again.' Irma goes on causing Snooki to laugh and Janie to blush as she watches the same rosy hue forming on Nellie.

'Irma...' Janie says warningly.

'Yes, love?' Irma bats her eyes innocently.

'Oh, quit!'

'Anyway, a trim is in order: So, first, we fluff the lovely blond hair into little bellows, the better to decide just where to snip.' Irma hums contentedly as she combs Nellie's hair. Nellie thinks to herself that this is certainly not a spa, as Irma's knowing touches linger here then there--covert caresses, light little teases that dare Nellie not to get excited.

'Irma...' Nellie warns.

'Yes, naughty Nellie?'

'Behave yourself, we have company.'

"For dinner...?" Says Irma who watches Snooki giggle self-consciously and then joins her, giggling like two girls with a secret crush.

Janie feels the current quicken as Irma continues her now unnecessarily generous fluffing. She glances at Desdemona's whose focus is unwaveringly upon those open inviting legs. Janie is a worried about Snooki. Yes, she's very mature, but this is just too much... Janie takes her arm off Nellie's leg and takes Snooki's hand, 'Let's wait for the movie, Snook. Come on, we'll go to the mall...' But Snooki's focus, like her mother's, is focused on the magical fingers weaving their way, playing in the curly blond hair.

Before Janie knows just how far its gotten out of hand, she can see the glint of wet rivulets on pink between Nellie's legs--legs that tremble ever so slightly, as though constrained, like gritted teeth. Then Irma takes her revenge or perhaps, allowing for some charity, simply gets carried away, as into the wet slit her finger dips and, glistening, flits, like a wily butterfly, to rest on Janie's surprised lips, now uncontrollable, opening, ready to lick a new sweet nectar.

Snooky looks at her friend, at the plumb lips and the thin finger, and reaches up and moves the finger to Irma's own mouth.

Deflecting Janie's embarrassment, she announces, 'I've been a little sneak you'll probably say.' And looks at her mother, 'I was hiding behind the 'horny' couch when you and Janie were...ah...talking.' Nellie closes her legs and takes Irma's hand, putting her finger to her lips as Snooki goes on. "I just want to say I'm not a lesbian, but if I ever become one, Janie is my true love, so please be nice to her. I think you embarrassed her, Irmy. She told my Mom she wanted to set a good example for me and here you are tempting her and...and me too!'

Snooky reaches out and hugs Irma, 'I love you Irmy-the-Wormy! Please be nice to Janie. It's hard being a virgin lesbian' and blushing, but holding Irma's eyes defiantly, 'or a virgin anything.' Next, she holds her Mom's hand, and still watching Irma, and smiles...'it's still okay to tease Janie and me: I think we secretly like being virgins together!' Then she stops, looks at the others uncertainly, surprised at just how far she went in her outburst.

Suddenly she's surrounded by hugs and kisses and snuggling waves of affection amid murmured apologies and sheepish grins.

'Please!' Snooky says, 'I'm fine now--no more fawning. I just wanted to be honest because I felt guilty sneaking around which I won't have to do anymore, I hope. She glances from Janie to her mother hopefully. 'Please don't make me leave. Irma will do a nice job trimming naughty Aunt Nellie and I'll be good, too. I'll even make dinner later, maybe Janie can help me?'

Nellie, draped in a sheet decides to forego the trim--as much for Irma's sake as her own. She puts her arm around Snooki, 'We're proud of your daughter, Desdemona, it takes nerve to confess her secrets to save Janie, but don't worry Snook--nothing happened to change Miss Virgin Vamp's status--but we'll sure giggle every time we sit on that couch.'

Chapter 7 Touch Me Where It Hurts

The tableau changes, the sirens shift. Here, all along the infamous couch, indulgent, leaning on shoulders, a leg draped over one and other, presenting a pretty picture, fine of line. Irma looks suspiciously behind the couch, teasing Snooki, 'Anyone else back there, Miss Snook?' Snooki pulls Irma toward her causing her to slide in her silky robe along the laps of her friends. Her face comes to rest against Snooki's thigh, her shoulders snuggle into Janie's lap, her hips and legs press into the welcoming laps of Desdemona and Nellie where idle fingers caress calf and ankle.

Nellie teases Dessie, 'Doesn't that feel familiar?'

Dessie smiles at Nellie and pats Irma's hip, 'Have you been taking good care of my baby?'

'When she lets me.' Nellie replies...

Into the tableau a sniffle floats, then a sigh, finally, an exasperated "dammit" followed by a suppressed sob, until the tears flow, becoming a torrent wetting the leg of Snooki's jeans. The sirens stroke their recombinant wonder, the one that embodies a little of them all... For the frisky, she is an inspiration, the one who gets the hot girl and rides off with her on that big black motorcycle, rumbling into the dark lusty night... For the constant lover, she is the romance that kindles, the fire banked in longing fulfilled, the flame masking her indiscretions with an ancient loyalty hidden under a warm heart... And for the onlookers who depend on her to keep the faith between the ones they love, she is an unruly child, a bravado friend, someone suspiciously trustworthy, despite all indications to the contrary.

'Tell us why you're crying,' Janie says her hand stroking Irma's unruly hair, her finger tips meeting Snooky's at the crown of Irma's trembling head.

'I don't deserve you. You are my best friends, my only friends, I don't know how I got here, except maybe by a miracle.'

Dessie speaks, 'You got here because Roscoe has a kind heart.'

'He's Mr. Tough Love, that's for sure.' Nellie says.

Jane has never heard how Irma came into their lives, "How? How did you found our Irma.'

Another sob, and Snooki whispers to Janie, 'Irma's sensitive about being found and about belonging. Pretty soon I'll have to wring out these jeans.'

From Irma a sniffle turns into a giggle, and she turns to look at Janie, her eyes red-rimmed, her nose wet and icky. Janie hands her a tissue. 'Eww, you snotty thing' She giggles, an infectious giggle that ripples along the couch until it returns to Irma, who sniffles, 'Thank you, I guess!'

'Once upon a time, in the alley behind the bakery, Roscoe found a drunken slut curled up in a ball, leaning on the door, drooling.' Dessie says.

'Quit exaggerating,' Nellie says, 'although she was puke-covered, you can't be puke-covered and a slut, well at least not an attractive one.'

Snooki pats Irma's shoulder, 'I'll tell your story, since some people are not taking it very seriously.'

'It's pretty close to the truth,' Irma says, 'I was in bad shape. Plus I stunk.'

'That's why Roscoe threw a bucket of soapy dish water all over you.'

'She looked like a drowned cat.'

'We're lucky she didn't run away, we would have missed our pussy...' Dessie says and blushes when she sees Snooki smirk.

'Roscoe told me, 'It'll only hurt a little!' before he drenched me. Then he gave me a fresh uniform and a towel. He helped me up and showed me where to change. The thing is, he didn't judge me, he just naturally reached out and helped me.' Irma says.

'Daddy asked me to help the new girl change,' Snooky says. "I didn't know we had a new girl. I thought it would be fun to have someone to talk to. I knocked on the door and there you were naked and wet, your hair was all straggly with stuff matted on it. I was shocked, you were the first woman I saw naked besides my Mom.'

'No wonder you'll never be a lesbian,' Irma snickers, "I looked horrible."

'You looked helpless.' Snooky says,

'You brought me coffee.' Irma says, 'I thought that was sweet.'

'You were shivering. I ran up to the attic to get Nellie.'

'You still came back.'

'I had too. Dad couldn't take care of you, being naked and all. I got more towels and another bucket of soapy water.'

'I was worried when I saw that bucket.' Irma laughs.

'We smuggled you up the stairs to the attic to the tub, wrapped in a towel.'

'My first real bath in two weeks.'

'Out of the gray water, we found this beautiful water lily,' Nellie says, fondly

stroking Irma's flank.

'You took extra long washing certain parts, Nellie.'

'Did I? After a few rinses, you were like a hidden treasure...'

'We both washed you. I did your smelly feet. But Nellie didn't take advantage...you were just very, very dirty.'

Nellie remembers the first night she knew, that night at the club much later when Irma rescued her.

'Homeless...' sniffles Irma.

'Shush, now you're not.'

Janie asks, 'You went to work that first day?'

'I had too. Roscoe gave me a sandwich when I came down dressed like a baker in whites and led me to the sink, 'We work to eat. Let's see what you can do with these pans,' he told me, just like I belonged there.

'If you cry again, I'll pinch you.' Dessie says. 'I remember when I saw you that first day. You were pale and washed out. I couldn't stop looking at you. At first I was jealous--and wondered whether I had to worry about Roscoe. I kept hanging around, until you looked at me. Remember what you said, love?'

'Hmm...'

'You said, 'It's not Roscoe you need to worry about.' That's when I knew, when I got that feeling you know where.'

'Where's that, Mom!'

'Smart ass!' Desdemona says, and pauses, remembering, smiling, winsome, 'Irma looked so helpless until you looked closely. Or, I guess, until she looked closely...'

'Janie, I was such a mess. I was drugged and sexed and drunk-ed out, I had no place to go, I thought there might be some leftovers in the garbage bin in the back of the bakery. Then I must have tripped and I curled up, waiting to die--as melodramatic as that might sound. I just wanted to stop. Roscoe and the bakery saved me.'

'Me, too!' Janie, her eyes wet, whispers to Irma's. 'Me, too.'

'I'm so happy I found you all.' Irma says looking at her friends, holding her, knowing they are making her feel at home after she was embarrassed by going a little too far in front of Snooki. More sniffles, this time from the sirens, friends in warm bodies shifting this way and that, hands stroking, adding their warmth to their Irma, together in the mellow on the horny couch, up the back stairs above the Bella Rosa Bakery.

Chapter 8 Love Is the Sauce that Simmers

In the Bella Rosa Bakery, the sirens swirl, a cozy cosmos, starry and delicious, their hair curling from hot ovens, a milky way of rising steam from hissing machines and hot drinks, served with radiant smiles. What order here where angels play, where girlish flirts blossom into womanly heat, where love is misty in the air, a hazy this and that, a comfort taken here and there, the stroke of warmth, that passion makes, like cookies baked, oh so hot from the hearth?

In fond, awkward misdirection, Janie and Snooky are secretly plotting. Snooki wants to live in the attic to be near Janie, her sweet, growing temptation. Janie wants Irma and Desdemona and Nellie to play together again, to make the attic their love nest, their refuge. Snooki knows this because Janie is her best friend and hides almost nothing from her. Snooki also knows that soon she will have to tell Janie the plain truth about what she wants, that a love nest with a her mom moaning in ecstasy just around the corner from their own bed just won't do.

Meanwhile, competing plans are hatched. The girls are going to cook their favorite foods, perfect their best recipes, set the bakery alight with candles, and there among the glimmers and the scents of piquant sauces, let their plans simmer. Set the big round table back by the ovens, put the 'closed' sign on the green door, and make ready for their grand meal: Nellie and Irma will dine with Roscoe and Desdemona, and Janie and Snooki will cook this special dinner and serve their happy, unsuspecting family.

Roscoe is aware of a certain frisson in the air, of plans (save one!) about which he has no distinct knowledge, the unknown making him wary. Soon his Snooki, the darling of his heart, will graduate from high school and move away. Somehow he'd like to protect her, to make a path--bread crumbs in the forest, fresh from the bakery--where she can find home through whatever storms her next adventurous years might bring.

Desdemona watches her daughter flower; her bloom all the more radiant under the redheaded sun of her best friend, the dear Miss Janie of her mother's secret heart, where yearning love waits unfulfilled--Janie's amazing abstinence keeping Desdemona in sweet disarray these many months.

Nellie knows the equation, the ones and twos and threes, that are the sum of her contentment. She knows the subtle arrangement, a diplomatic immunity Janie has forged between her bedmates. She understands the sweetness of Janie's intention, her scheme to accommodate the yearning for Desdemona in the embraces of Irma and Nellie.

Irma smiles and smiles: Clever Rosie, her blush betrays her, how she schemes to cause the three of them to sleep together, to be her arm-length lovers. Irma knows what Janie's doing, what blushing Rosie's intentions are, but she isn't as sure about Snooki. Like Roscoe, she wants her to be free but protected--she wants her not to fall like Irma herself did to the temptations of sex and drugs and alcohol that taken together are the sometimes bane of success in college.

Snooki sighs. They love me so. I can see the shadows of worry, of their anticipation to somehow protect me from whatever it is they fear for themselves--as if they were suddenly set free and allowed to fly any which way they wished. I know the love, the love that I cherish, of what Janie calls the warm and cozy of this bakery, of my Janie and my Nellie and my Irma, of my mom and my dad, of the way we fit together: Like my secret Janie, that love sustains me.

Cornish hens roast with legs of lamb, fresh ciabatta warm from the oven, together a tantalizing garlicky aroma fuels the hunger of the guests now seated at the big round table, casual and relaxed, their wine glasses filled with mellow reds, amid canapés of delightful surprises wrapped in prosciutto, beside marinades where delicate olives and freshly made cheeses swim in ramekins surrounded by exotic dipping sauces. The rich roasted meat is placed on the table where it will mellow and tempt their guests before it's cut.

Desdemona dressed in high fashion voluptuously fills a form fitting dress with a stylish line from a cleverly named store that could advertise in Vogue. Nellie is Target all the way but her smart choices conceal the origin of her fashion. And Irma. Well, Irma is punk and rock and all those vibrations humming together in a sexy attractiveness no self-respecting eye can avoid. Then there are the twins: Janie and Snooki, the red and the blond, the young and the younger, sisters of the apron, with matching hair styles and the choice use of wide belts to offer contrasting colors "so that you can tell your servers apart" they giggle, avoiding the random pinch from their more aggressive guests.