by charlieflemming
taking way to long on this story, seams the same thing over and over again, not sure i will read anymore!!!
Please next chapter asap. Need it to move faster :( no sisters until mom and son complete their incest destiny
I don't know why this author wraps up so much in a story, it seems that it's just because the chapters are big and meaningless, and as I've said before and I'll say it again, this author always makes the male character kind of stupid
The story is somewhat exciting but reads more like diary pages than an actual story. That gets old really fast and takes away from the storyline flow. If anything, it is well written and poorly crafted.
Whenever you write about a woman's body looking fit, you write she has a tone body. It should be toned body. Tone is noun, body is also noun. You can't qualify one noun with another.
Way to drawn out and a lot of useless chatter to make a story longer. I agree with giogusto your male character sounds too innocent for todays age.