All Comments on 'Including Me Ch. 02'

Should have turned his ass in as a predator

Since you're not literate enough to spell well, use a spell check. You don't have to buy one, Google Docs is free, as is Apache Open Office. There are probably more free ones too.

Since you don't know how to use most punctuation, you should stick with periods and commas. Don't use anything else until you learn how to do it, and since commas really are necessary and you are just as clueless about how to use those as you are about most other punctuation, you really, really, really need to learn how to use them before you type another word.

There's a word for fiction without anyone speaking. Boring. That's the word for it. I kind of doubt anything you've posted on here would be better with it though, because you probably have zero clue how to use quotation marks either.

If you took your computer to somebody to fix, and they told you they could fix it because they have a hammer and no other tools, would you let them fix it?

Exactly. That guy with the hammer trying to fix a computer is you with writing. It doesn't matter how much you want to write, you can't. You can try, but you can't, and your desire to do it doesn't make it worth reading.

I suspect this is yet another story written by a female author with around 20 other pen names. Now watch the defensive attempt to deflect the long rambling monologue as story and character development. But because we the readers don't understand that process no one will rate her stories above 3 or 4 stars. In other words the readers are too stupid to recognize her talent. At least you aren't including the phrases "in the way" and "incestous sex" like your earlier works into almost every paragraph..

I doubt this is a female, but if they are, they're absolutely ignorant of their own physiology, or at least the appropriate terminology. The clit is part of the vulva, so it's physically impossible to move a finger from the clit to the vulva, since clit describes part of the vulva. It's like saying they moved their finger from their cheek to their face.

If this person had any talent to recognize, they should have used it in writing this and their other piece of garbage.

In a comment to part one, I suggested that the woman is mentally ill.

This chapter confirms it.

A screwed up woman, who will inflict her issues on any children.