All Comments on 'Incubus Pupa Ch. 03'

This is really hot and has the right balance of story to actual sex for me to really enjoy it. Please continue this series

Damn, just gets better and better. Finally got to some legit sex this time and it was hot as hell, while still having story mixed in there. Please, keep this up, I gotta know where it goes!

- N

Keep up the good work. Love the themes!

Would be to reduce the time between chapters.

And some yummy bits too! Thank you!

Great characterisation and excellent sex an outstanding story certainly do make. The attention given to the emotional reactions of the characters really does make the sex absolutely perfect. And I really like Adam, too. You've made him a very sympathetic - if understandably horny - guy. Excellent work!

Loving the story so far, just had to let you know. :D

Others may have told you, or you've figured it out already, but if you don't mind a little constructive criticism... During your dialog scenes, you shouldn't generally start a new paragraph with the voice of the person in the previous paragraph, unless there's some narrative in the middle that makes it clear that you're returning to the previous speaker. Quite a few times i didn't know who was speaking and had to stop and figure it out, each time thinking "oh, the author did it again". Readers are accustomed to more of a ping pong flow back and forth as dialog progresses as they go from one paragraph to the next. Breaks within a single person's dialog just messes things up. ;-)

Still absolutely loving the story though so don't take this the wrong way! If you ever publish this as a book, you can fix it easy. ;-) Five stars. I'm gonna read the next chapter now! :D Thanks for all your hard work!!

She was yummy!!! No pussy eating yet...

Where has this story been all my time here?

You could use a bit more detail but pretty good so far.

Aight that was hot. And so it begins.