All Comments on 'Independence Day'

This isn't a loving wife story at all - it's just a story of pure animalistic revenge. Somewhere between college and the shooting the guy seems to have lost at least three-quarters of his iq points.

just written for the hate-ridden to cheer (poor sad bastards).

No point in giving any marks here as the author is probably dead from lethal injection.

RIP.

maybe all the sickos know how most people feel when they say it was only a story.

I loved it, gave it 5 stars, please don't be discouraged by the naysayers, you done good!

Too bad more cheaters don't get this treatment, there'd be less cheating.

Sad that a so-called civilized country still condones the death penalty - and sad that some sickos can condone what the guy did in this story.

It was a good story just wish he had got off because he just reaction to seeing them with his slut wife. the wifes of the men should have said something at his trial to the efect that he just lost his mine seeing the 4 of them fucking.

Lets hope he gets a new trial and gets off. what was the make up of the jury as if it had some ladies he would have got off

My only problem with the story is that its not Murder One. And a good editor should have pointed that out.

Murder one is premeditated and multiple - meaning it is planned and thought out, cruel, or multiple people ( on different occasions ). And to give a very good example ( from my Criminal Justice class ) if i was plotting to kill person A by whatever method, and happen to be driving my car around town and person A walks out in front of me, so I take advantage of the situation and run him over with my car and kill him, that still isn't Murder One. Even though I was planning to kill him, the fact that I didn't kill him the way I was planning to drops it to Manslaughter. It could be bumped up if it had been proven that I had killed multiple people this way ( not at 1 time like I ran over 4 people at the same time, but that on 4 separate occasions I plotted to kill people and then ran them over instead ).

Heinlein wrote that very intelligent people do not have their sense of self worth wrapped around their dicks (or something like that).

This guy was a genius and his reaction to his wife's infidelity is to shoot everyone in sight? Not too smart.

This is Texas - he would have gotten a parade and a voucher for more ammo. But I do love swift justice to cheating whores and their fuck buddies.

Do the rights of the criminal out weigh the rights of the victim or society? This is what the death penalty is all about. Ignorant people say it is barbaric, what of the act which brought it on? Is the life of the murderer somehow more valuable then the victims? That is exactly what you are saying when say the absolutely immoral statement that one commenter has. I believe the bible got it right and whether you believe in God or Darwin doen't change the fact that every life must be judged of equal value. Murder is wrong, it is criminal and the punshiment for taking a life in a just and civilized society should be death. As to why I only gave this a **** rating. What were the wives doing for fifteen minutes while their husbands were off fucking the host? A stupid premise to think they would not get caught.

I read it on SOL earlier. I think the story shows a tragic situation which coused 5 died people. Howvever in Europe there is not death penalty and this at once murder by quick emotional decision may cost only 20 years prison generaly. I think the the death penalty is not match the manslaughter here, so I think the husband should earn only 20 -25 years prison punishment instead of capital punishment. However I do not know the Texas state law system at all.

Narrator never got back to Jerry Hansen, as was promised to us!

Not Murder 1 !!!

WAY TOO MUCH narrative, too little dialogue!

Sex scenes done like a newspaper might!

2*

20-25 years prison without any parole, this matches for this manslaughter, according to my opinion, but capital punishment!!!!!!

Are you kidding? This sucked. Get your weird vengeance fantasies off this site.

I absolutely believe in getting even with the cheating bitch and all of her lovers but this was a bit severe. Take it down a notch and I would be ok with it. Shoot the guys balls off and sell the whore as a sex slave would be enough for me.

Yeah, and maybe the Eagles will win the super bowl.

OH YEAH

HA HA HA

The story was destroyed, in my humble opinion, by two things. It was not terribly well written to begin with, and it was implausible.

As to the first problem, it seemed the story had little depth. It was rushed through and the characters were shallow. I felt no investment with any of them. The idea is for the reader to like the good characters and hate the bad ones. In this story, the reader is indifferent to them all and wishes that they would all drown together.

Concerning the implausibility angle, it is doubtful he would have gotten murder one. Murder one requires premeditation and planning. This killing was done in the heat of passion on the spur of the moment. He would have more than likely been charged with manslaughter, murder in the second degree at worst. A personal friend here in the Commonwealth of Virginia shot and killed his unfaithful wife in similar circumstances, although her lover had left the scene. With good behavior, he was out on parole in a little over ten years.

Slow your next one down. Let us know the characters. Give the plot time to develop and let it play out rationally. For this effort, two stars.

This story is not revenge story only a tragic Consequence story to show the murder rarly revenge in our Cultural World, only tragedy for everybody. In the Cruel Revenge story where the murder was not guessed by Police are the Organizated Criminals managed murders (Papatoad's story "The Dental Genes") or such story where the betrayed husband mixed strong carcinogen (herbicide) in his (German origined) cheating wife's special German cake and after longer time his wife died in Cancer (Unfortunately I forgot the Author and Title and Where I read it (on SOL or on Lit)).

Such story is good and IMPORTANT as this is, to show us where is the Revenge Stories borders, and where the begining of the Consequence Stories as DGHear Classical Gem Consequence story the "Another Chance", where effects of 2 violance events were a life long prison for cheating wife and loverboy murder at the older character and a shorter time prison punishment for hiting his brother in law (the loverboy) at the main character.

I thought passion murders did not punish with capital punishment in the USA, but here the main character killed more than 1 person was so I think he could be punished more years than 10 years would be..................

SOL IT GOT A 5.24 RATING

It's also hard to believe he would get the death penalty in the first place. The author should at least make a modest effort to get legal facts straight.

Thanks for the read.

If his aunt did not use telephones... how was he able to phone her before he found her dead?C

Personally, I feel that things have gone off the tracks when adultery is not a crime.

The whole reason that you do not let people go around shooting people is that society will judge and punish them for their crimes, and for me adultery is a crime against the family and against society. Still the Bible says, "Judgement is mine, sayeth the Lord" or was it "turn your other cheek"?-----

Why do you always feel the need to comment on everything multiple times? Your comments too often do not make sense or are trying to take the story in a different direction. Read the story and move one, you don't have to add your two-cents worth to everything... over and over and over...

As for the story, what was the point of all that background? Why was the reader supposed to care about the aunt? Did the other wives know? The ending was rushed, very anticlimactic.

His lawyer would cop a plea and he would get serious jail time.

It takes the better part of 30 years to get the needle and his demise was the best part. I mean, Mary's doing a gangbang and NONE of the wives notice? Only mr. Genius?

Plus what was the point? It was obvious there was no emotional connection between them...simply convenience. So why throw your life away for someone you don't love?

If thier was more pople like this in America it wont be in the mess its in. Dont worry becuase of the chuckys that masterbated at the gangbang. All chuckys must die.

Not a bad read, actually, even if it was one big cliche. You don't get death for second degree murder. But it fits the implausibility of the story as a whole.

now what else can you do to me, TK U MLJ LV NV

Too short a treatment. Lacking any real drama, tension, character development, emotional impact, or creativity. The cheating was not explained, and the conflict was outlined and resolved in a few sentences. And, we knew what was going to happen, because we were told in the first paragraph.

Add to this internal inconsistencies, and absurdity, and this was a waste of time. I only offer this negative review because there seems to be some skill with words, and I appreciate the effort of novice writers. Try and develop your characters and build tension, conflict and drama in an interesting or original way, and your stories will be much better than this.

I honestly wonder if this was an exercise to see what kind of feedback a poorly-written almost-story will get so long as you have the cheating bitch die. Sadly, those types of stories will get scores that are much too high and comments which are much too supportive. Take those with a grain of salt if you have any interest in actually becoming a decent writer.

i am sorry but she was a cheating slut and in the rage of passion he lost his mind and thought she was being raped. They all died no big loss really all cheaters and adulterers deserve the same fate.

He should be given a medal.

Rubbish!

the fact that you send a man to prison for that is wrong he was lost and destroyed he wasn't thinking he thought they were raping his wife and she accidentally got shot. As far as them dying it was no loss to anyone that cared or has pride cause personally if you are friends or support a cheater you are more than likely one yourself.

If my wife hung out with people i knew to cheat on their spouse or did before i would give her a directive to stay away from them if she didn't then i would leave and divorce her. I wont have my family, kids, or life influenced or affected by a cheater whether it be a man or a woman.

I have told two of my ex friends that i wouldn't associate with them anymore after they cheated on their wives and they had to explain to their spouse why me and my wife wouldn't go over anymore. They didn't of course so my wife told their wives why.

They both ended up divorced that year and we still associate with the ladies since they are friends.

The problem is the capital punishment in the story. The betrayed husband did not plan this massacre, it was a quick anger only. I think 20 years prison with possibilty for parola is the exact punishment for this.

Great story of a loving skank wife. At least you won't meet her again because that scumbag is way down below where she belongs.

In Texas they would not have convicted him of first degree murder.

Manslaughter at most if not justifiable by passion.

He wouldn't have even made it to trial once all the evidence was sorted out. Texas still has Justifiable Homicide on the books when dealing with a cheating spouse. If you have a shotgun, you are allowed one round per person caught in the act of infidelity. For a pistol or rifle, you are allowed two rounds each.

3 Stars, since it lost 2 for the lack of knowledge of Texas Law.

Interesting, if a tad short, tale of instant revenge. Had to love the wife that took his gun and then brought him a beer.

He needed a better attorney. He would have gotten life but he would have lived.

Not enough time for premeditation or malice aforethought.

inspired, unoriginal, and boring.

I csmt I aging anyone find this shit erotic. you know, like this website's name.

I am mad at myself for even skimming this slop.

Any idea what Literotica means.?

He was stupid twice: 1st - marrying her; 2nd - Killing them all with witnesses...He had all the time of the world to kill them, in separate, and not get caught.

we must all face that final burden, some are even justified, TK U MLJ LV NV

No premeditation, no viciousness or added cruelty.

This is set in Texas where only a few years ago it would not have even been illegal.

Death penalty? Fantasy!

This is one of the more extreme and yet not unlikely outcomes of cheating. Google it, it happens everyday. You would think people would think it through when this is the possible result.

...and the characters and the plot?

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, consequences be damned. And that's just the way it is.

and he is to be gone. TK U MLJ LV NV

If you read a story go to comments and want to see more stupid shit look for tazz317. He'll find a way to make nothing from whatever because he never really says anything to add to anything. Who cares where you're from it might as well be a shit pile.

Did you get bored halfway through? As rhat was a pathetic finish to a semi decent start.

I thought you did a great job, and frankly I would have hung the jury on the sentence. A very similar happened here just a few months ago, so thats how real this can be. I liked the fact that you didn't drag it out 2 or 3, or 10 pages. Just told your story and let it go. A 5* if there ever was one.

Even in Texas.

A little different than what I'm used to. Why didn't any of the wives go looking for their husbands? Seven quick, accurate shots with that .45. He was a damn good shot.

But, in these circumstances, IMO, the prosecution, even if they did go for capital murder, would likely also add second-degree murder and/or manslaughter (since it was in the heat of the moment) as an option to convict him on. If the prosecution goes for only capital murder, the jury might just acquit him or, if they convict him, will recommend a life sentence...

No way would any jury, given the circumstances here, vote to give him the death penalty...

I would have take a plea for 4 counts of manslaughter, 3 to 7 served concurrently. I'd be out in as soon as 12 years, possibility of parole in 8.

2nd read, at best this was Murder 2 not 1. Other than getting his 1911 there was no premeditation. Shit lawyer! Good lawyer would have gone for Manslaughter due to mental state. 4*

I too would have liked to see a hung jury.... All those wives gabbing away never noticed their husbands were missing?!? Glad to see the idiot gene pool was cleaned out - those three idiot hisbands banging away with their wives only feet away....

no woman or pussy worth all that trouble

One of my mother's friend and her lover were killed by her husband, who was a roughneck. He came home a couple of days early and caught them in bed while they were fucking. The husband put his 30-06 behind the guys neck and killed them both with one shot. They had 2 boys and I was in high school with one of them. The husband was prosecuted for 2 counts of manslaughter. The jury gave him 10 years probation as a Crime of Passion. Apparently, most of the town knew what a slut she was while he was on the rig. My mom didn't speak to me for awhile because I said she got what was coming. I don't know if crimes of passion are still on the law books in MS since I moved out of the state right after high school. But I know that adultery is still a crime and a reason for divorce in MS.

Yes one wife and all the gals husbands just happen to disappear during a SMALL BBQ to have a gang bang....and no one noticed, the gangbang crew actually Figured no one would notice and all they thought they had was an hour?

If a well thought out plot was something you didn't want in the story...congratz!!

You dont get the death penalty for a non premeditated murder. Especially in special circumstances. Also the death penalty is usually taken off the table in exchange for your guilty plea. The court system is not eager to put people to death at all, nor should it be.

Not credible, but a good shooting revenge is always fun.

Repeat, guy was a helluva shot with a pig like a 1911 .45. Seven in the black, no one came back.

It would have more painfully for them to have gotten the wives involved earlier. And give them the gun

Again, this guy is one heck of a good shot. He’s still on death row in Texas, and a hero to anyone with a cheating wife.

Stupid whore, poor dude, you'd think Texas would let him have a get out of jail free card considering.

After he left for the store, all the other wives were oblivious to the fact their husbands suddenly disappeared inside the house with their hostess? Nope...could never happen with any group of three wives I've ever seen. At least one would have had her husband under constant surveillance.

As I'm sure many have pointed out this was textbook crime of passion with zero premeditation. The dead bodies intertwined would have given the MC all the sympathy in the world. Unless of course the whole legal system there are all adulterers and looking to send a message. Plus pleaing would have meant life at most.

Not bad. The end with him waiting on deathrow was a little disappointing.

Huedogg, I like the idea of manslaughter, but I think your sentencing math is a little off. Four sentence of 3-7 years running concurrently is ... wait for it ... 3-7 years. For concurrent sentences the clock for the sentences start at the same time. Consecutive sentences has one start and the other sentences start one at a time after the current one expires.

I went with a four score for this story. It just seemed too short. A four is above the overall score.

That's murder 2, not murder 1. Shouldn't be capital. Especially in Texas, where not long ago it would have been ruled justifiable homicide.

Whole story was basically a nothing burger

Realize that this is fiction. But, either his attorney was completely incompetent or the author was just winging it.

So, Mary Lou and the other women's husbands just decided to pop inside for a quick gang bang while the MC was out shopping and none of the wives noticed anything untoward? A cheating wife is a believable plot device but it's a little mystifying why so many stories have to have such a completely OTT super slut wife/gangbang queen. Outside of stag parties I've never met a woman who does gangbangs, yet here in LW they seem to be ten-a-penny! If they are that common I can't help but wonder why the men get so bent out of shape over it.

Too short, no back story as to the beginnings, or why the guy's wives, who seemed to know about the guys' cheating, did nothing about it. How did they get into the apartment? How did it start? Results of his trial? Too much info missing. 2 stars. Bob

This was confusing!

2 stars from me, I liked the story but hey he is in Texas where they would have just let him go.

Should not have been murder 1. No planning involved.