Indica Ch. 01

He eyed the deep curve of her backside as she bent over to gather her long gown in her hands. Her eyes glowed with genuine happiness and her dimples showcased themselves to him, making a sense of warmth spread throughout his chest. He'd always loved the way her smile graced her smooth, caramel-colored skin. It was such a hypnotizing sight.

"Keanu, come dance with me!" She beckoned to him with a dainty finger, seductively swaying her hips to the beat, "Don't chicken out on me now."

"Yeah, Keanu. Don't chicken out on her now, go dance!" Koa teased, giving him a shove.

He glared at his little brother. "Kulikuli." Shut up.

He approached her, plucking a flower from a plant as he went and tucked it behind her left ear. She was oblivious as to what it meant and he preferred it that way. The less questions she asked, the better. "Hey, what's so funny?"

"You're driving these nā kāne ʻōpio crazy, you know that?"

He watched as she peeked out over his body as it towered over hers to find multiple pairs of eyes staring right back at her.

She giggled, pulling him to her by his biceps to shield her suddenly exposed body. "Well, that's embarrassing."

He surveyed her. Her loose limbs, dilated pupils, and incessant giggling told him everything he needed to know. "Are you drunk?"

"No."

"Are you lying to me?"

She hesitated. "No."

He chuckled deeply. The woman he'd grown to know and had the blessing of mentoring, was, in some ways more than others, a youthful child trapped in the body of a twenty-two year old woman. Though, her intelligence contradicted that point; considering, she'd graduated at the age of sixteen and went on to be top of her class at UCLA. The pride that swelled in his chest whenever he spoke highly of her to his family and friends was a warmth like no other. She was the silver lining to his rock bottom, the constant in a world full of indecisive hearts who didn't know what they wanted.

His values had become her values. She respected him and everything he represented. To find a woman willing to wholeheartedly accept a culture that differed greatly from her own with nothing but grace and ardor was similar to finding a needle in a haystack; terribly difficult but not impossible.

He'd realized the depth of her beauty the moment he laid eyes on her, but there was admittedly nothing better than a inhibitionless Katerina who could barely stand on her own ten toes.

"Come on, let's get you home." He held out his hand to her and she sighed, reluctantly placing her hand in his.

She stumbled slightly as they walked, occasionally looking up at him, her eyes narrowing at his side profile.

"Three years into our friendship and you still have yet to realize how much I despise that." She grimaced as she watched him clench and unclench his jaw, the bones hidden underneath visibly adjusting under her gaze, "You're disgusting."

"I know."

Her face suddenly went stoic as she looked over at him. He halted as she asked, "Can I ask you a question, Kea?"

His mind went haywire with possibilities. "Anything. You know that."

"You've grown distant, lately. I've noticed that the only chance I get to spend time with you is when you're there to ensure that I don't go overboard or have too much to drink. Otherwise, you're somewhere with Koa or the other guys. I'd understand if it were a one time thing, but, as soon as you get me back to your place you leave..and that's it. We don't talk anymore, not like we used to. Why is that?"

As if it were playing on a loop in his head, he instantly recalled the moment he realized being her friend was a lot harder than he'd imagined.

It was about a year and a half into their friendship, before they'd crossed the lines of platonic intimacy. He'd found her sulking in his bedroom during Royce's birthday party. She'd worn a black, lacy bathing suit that left practically to the imagination and he'd loved it - more than he wanted to admit. She was laying flat on her stomach, her curvaceous figure advertising itself to him. He ignored the aching pull in his groin and sat next to her, running a hand over her smooth back.

"Kat," He whispered. She shivered against his caress, leaning into the warmth of his palm. "Talk to me, Nani."

"I can't, Keanu." She sighed. "Not yet."

The heart of the summer was always hard on her. She'd isolate herself, cry in her room for days, then come out on the other side as if nothing had happened. He'd understood and chosen to respect her privacy. But as time went on and they grew closer his ability to walk past her door and ignore the heart-wrenching sobs coming from the other side was wearing thin. He needed to know. He had to help her.

"We can't go on like this, Kat. With you separating yourself from me, refusing my help, and lashing out whenever I offer, my patience has run out. Either we talk about this now, or..I'm done."

She flinched as if he'd hit her, looking over her shoulder at him as she sat up, her hair falling down her back and over her shoulders. He yearned to run his fingers through it. Or better, clutch it in his fist as he- "I watched my best-friend die."

It was his turn to flinch as his palm left her body, "Kat.."

"No. Don't say anything, just listen." She whispered. "Two, almost three, years ago Aja and I threw a party for our best-friend Samuel's twenty-fifth birthday. We were ecstatic. Our lives were perfect, we'd gotten into our dream colleges and were working toward achieving our goals. It was the happiest I've ever been. But the universe put an end to that. The American society is unlike any, and everything you've grown to know. California especially has an abundance of black people, black artists, dreams, museums, and much more. But every state in America shares the same flaw. Racism, prejudices, and white supremacy fucking galore. The place where the people are free and the cops can kill innocent black men and get away with it while no one bats an eye. They killed my best-friend right in front of me, Keanu, and they were aiming for my baby brother. I almost lost two of the most important people in my life that day. Terrence attempted to commit suicide twice after that."

She let out a cry as she stared at her hands, "Every time I close my eyes I see his blood seeping through my fingers as I tried to stop it with my hands. It wasn't enough, I wasn't enough. It was my fault-"

He pulled her effortlessly into his lap, pulling her toward him so that she was straddling him and he had a clear view of her face. She up at him through sad eyes as he spoke, "As unfortunate as it may sound, thousands of men fall victim to racism everyday. I know you well enough to understand how hard you take not being able to help those you love. But, you can't save everyone, that's not your job, nani. That doesn't make you any less of a good person. Please trust me when I say the woman I've had the pleasure of knowing never would've 'let' her best friend die, and you didn't. His was the result of your country failing you, all of you. Your compassion, your empathy, and kind heart have yet to disappoint us. I'm positive it never disappointed him, either. I-"

His sentiments were interrupted as her lips found his. He quieted his surprise within the soft, intoxicating warmth of her mouth, responding with equal fervor. Keanu groaned into the kiss while his hands traveled down the body of the woman that had succeeded in her mission to drive him crazy. He wanted her, badly. He slid his hands underneath the strings of her swimsuit, careful not to untie them out of fear of being pushed to the point of no return. She moaned as he squeezed and caressed her plump rear, arching her back to push her ass into his heat-ridden-palms.

Her chest rubbed against the bare skin of his, her nipples hardening as she struggled to quiet her moans. He took pleasure in the fact that the party was still busy and ongoing beneath them while they kissed. His swim-shorts did nothing to conceal the thick head of his erection as she ground her pussy against it, creating a delicious amount of friction that they both yearned to bask in.

"Keanu," She whispered, taking his lip in her mouth eliciting a groan from his own, "Please."

A shiver swept over her as his fingers found the thin strings holding her bathing suit to her skin and pulled. The bottoms fell to the floor near his feet as fear enveloped him. Touching her would be his undoing, that was clear. One time would never be enough. The scent of her arousal made him harden; rock fucking solid. He brought his hand down to caress her inner thigh as she whimpered, her sounds becoming like music to his ears.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He murmured, his normally gruff voice hoarse with passion.

She shook her head, waves of pleasure rippling through her as she awaited his touch. His mouth was soft and attentive as he feathered kisses along her neck, slowly moving down her chest and toward her collarbone. She tipped her head back as his tongue pressed against the swell of her breast, mindless to anything besides the feeling of his breath singeing her flesh. Her legs closed tightly around his hips as he nipped at her, testing the waters, seeing what she would and wouldn't allow. Much to his surprise, she wanted it all; for his body to melt into hers in ways far beyond physical.

Her timid, shy nature had prohibited her from experiencing this with anyone else. With him, she felt like the woman she yearned to be; desired, sexy, soft, and delicate.

She opened her mouth in a silent scream as his tongue cradled her nipple in his mouth, gently suckling, biting, and groaning around her stiff peaks. Her hands found his head as she moaned louder by the second, the wind against her glistening, wet entrance making her tremble with desire. She needed him to touch her there.

Until a light noise rapped at the door, Aja's voice joining the knock as the couple halted, "Guys, it's time to cut the cake!"

Keanu's hands fell to his sides as she reluctantly removed herself from his lap. The crippling sexual tension they'd created was still there, filtering the air as she quietly dressed herself with her back to him. He shamelessly watched as she stepped into the bottoms, the rosy hue of her pussy lips peeking at him as she bent over - his breath caught in his throat. He blinked, moving to gather himself.

"Keanu, I-"

He shook his head. "I'll see you downstairs."

And with that, he was gone. He'd distanced himself from her after that. Refusing to taint her with his lust, or ruin her with his emotional unavailability. He just wasn't capable of what she needed from him. She deserved stability, love, and verity. But he damn sure couldn't be her friend. Not after he'd gotten so close to the warm, gushy treasure between her legs.

The sharp, angry tone of her voice brought him back to reality. "Forget I asked."

She stalked off toward the car, leaving him to reminisce about the moment they shared within the confines of her room that day. If he wasn't careful, his trepidation toward the possible depths of their relationship would break them.

•••

The sun shone brightly through the windows of the nail-shop, beating down on her face. The slight vibration of the massage chair felt like heaven against her back as she laid there with the nail tech cradling her foot in his palm. Aja had bullied her into attendance, claiming she'd cry wolf to Keanu if she refused to take a day off to unwind. She'd agreed because she realized she deserved it. Until just the nail shop became a trip to the car-wash, a lunch date, a shopping spree, and now, as she relaxed she realized, pure and utter exhaustion.

"You're being stubborn." Aja spoke from beside her as she watched the woman coat her toes in a creamy, white color, "I'm getting married to the love of my life, and you're being obstinate with yours. You're being stubborn."

"He's not-" Kat met her best friend's scrutinizing gaze, "I'm not being stubborn. Things are just..complicated and neither of us have figured out how to properly communicate with one another without it turning into an argument. Our relationship took a turn for the worse after we kissed about a year and a half ago." She stopped, fiddling with the end of her sundress. "But, I refuse to be the only one making an effort. Relationships require compromise and partnership. When things don't go his way he lashes out or leaves. I'm just..confused."

It's been two weeks since she left Keanu in the parking lot and they hadn't spoken a word to one another since. He, because he knew nothing good would come from the conversation on his end, and her, because she was afraid. Afraid of letting him down.

Aja sighed, sorrow for her friend weighing on her heart. "I'm sorry to hear that, K.T. You've never thoroughly explained to me why you refuse to move here. It can't be because you'll be alone, because you have a family full of nearly one-hundred people here for you."

Why didn't she want to move? The question was always difficult to answer, but she knew fear had something to do with it. Moving meant instead of staying in Hawaii every summer and going back home during the fall for school, she'd be here with him everyday of her life, and that in itself was terrifying. She was falling in love with him, that was obvious.

But, if things went left, she'd have nowhere to go. His family would more than likely shut her out and she refused to burden Aja and Royce with her presence. They'd have kids, jobs, and a home to take care of. They shouldn't have to worry themselves with her wellbeing.

There were multiple key elements playing into this situation that they hadn't even discussed because he refused to see the logic in her decision. If they fell apart she'd be left with no one. He was letting his emotions cloud his judgment, but he'd realize she was right in due time.

"Emotions are our greatest enemy. He's probably convinced himself that he loves me, but I know he doesn't. His words could very well be driven by lust, and if we have sex and he suddenly doesn't feel the same, guess what? Katerina's left in the dust without a second thought. That's not a chance I'm willing to take."

When Aja didn't respond, she looked over to find her searching through something in her phone. "What are you doing?"

"Calling Keanu."

Her eyes shot open in panic as she reached for the phone, "Ajanai, no!"

"No, you listen to me." She snapped, pointing an accusing finger in her face, "That man loves you. He wouldn't have spent these last three years worrying himself sick, being patient and attentive when you pushed him away because of Sam, or staying by your side every time you blew up and yelled at him for no apparent reason; other than to use him as your emotional punching bag. Yes, he's letting emotions cloud his judgement but you are letting fear cloud yours. Now, you're going to get up, go to him, and have a conversation with him like a civilized adult instead of pretending you're enjoying yourself here, with me."

She sank back into her seat, shock evident on her face. She searched her mind for the right words, then realized Aja was right. She was stubborn. "I'm sorry, A. You're right, I just-"

"Lovesick and have absolutely no idea why you're still sitting here knowing the love of your life is out there, waiting on you to come to him? Yeah, life has a way of doing that." Aja smiled, giving her an encouraging nudge, "Go. Call me as soon as you get home."

Katerina lowered herself from the chair, paid for both pedicures before shouting, "Thank you" and "I love you!" Before exiting the shop, all but running toward her car.

Today would be the day.

She repeated the silent mantra in her head as she drove, tapping her fingers nervously against the steering wheel. There was so much to say and seemingly not enough time to say it. When the time came for her to confess her undying love for someone, she wanted to have a well-written, precise, morally correct speech prepared, but this was reality. Where words sometimes didn't make sense, and love wasn't always fun.

When she arrived, she knocked on the door instead of using her key to get in. He answered the door shirtless with his sweatpants hanging low around his hips, his v-line showcasing itself to her. The sweat near his brow told him she'd been working out before her arrival. She'd seen his body nearly a thousand times but every time felt like the first and the last. Kat's breath caught in her throat as she racked her brains for the apology she'd rehearsed in the car.

Words, what the fuck are words?

"I'm so sorry."

Ah, there they are.

He quirked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about, Katerina?"

She flinched. "Ouch. You only use my full name when you're upset."

He laughed, but it came out miserable and strained. She watched as he stepped aside, beckoning for her to enter. So she did, slowly, watching over her back as if he'd suddenly blow up and frighten her.

He casually walked into the kitchen with her hot on his trail. He said nothing as he opened his refrigerator, pulling out a water bottle. "So...you're not mad?"

"No," He answered thickly, "I'm not mad. Tired? Yes. Restless? Yes. On my last fucking nerve? Yes!" He took a swig from the water bottle, his hands trembling with anger, "I thought things would be different this time."

She gulped, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Thought things would be different how?"

"You've developed a pattern, Katerina. You get angry, you leave, you ignore me for a week, you come back, you apologize, and we make-up. Then, the cycle continues within the next few months and we end up right back at square one. I thought, this time we'd made enough progress for you to express yourself to me, to talk to me, to make me feel as if this entire fucking relationship wasn't one-sided and you actually cared about me."

His words felt like a physical blow to the chest and as tears fell from her eyes and onto the granite countertop he instantly regretted them. She didn't deserve it. But the tension that had been coiling inside him over the span of two weeks without an outlet was unbearable. He knew that if he didn't say them now, the delivery would be a lot worse then than it was before.

He sighed, his heart constricting painfully as he rounded the island separating them to wrap his arms around her, "Kat-"

She held a hand out to stop them. "No, you're right. I've treated you like shit, pure and utter shit. All you've ever done is catered to me, looked after me, loved me in the best way you knew how and I took advantage of that. I could never even begin to find the words that amount to the devotion you've shown me over the years. But, I love you, and somewhere deep down inside I know you love me too. I've been broken for so long, too lost in myself to care for anyone else. But you, you complete me in the lamest, most nauseating way possible. I can't promise perfection, but fuck, if you'll let me, I'll try. I'll give it my all because you mean that much to me."

Keanu froze, his jaw clenching. If their situation wasn't so royally fucked up she would've laughed at the confliction etched in his features. A silent war was raging behind his eyes as his eyes found hers, his hands clenched at his sides.