All Comments on 'Ingrams & Assoc 4: Beneath the Surface Ch. 04'

Ive read all your Ingrams storys --love the way your mind works fella ----5

I had a shit eating grin (sorry another Tom joke) on my face when they ended up together - its what I was hoping for from early on.

I've read all of your stories but this is my favorite. The character development was awesome. looking forward to what's next. THANK YOU

Great story! Looking forward to your next story!

Beautiful story. Please write more.

It could be in Romance, but "Ingrams" has always been in LW...As usual I liked to read it very much...But @jezzaz has accustomed us with good stories...Thank you...4*

Not as emotionally moving as the thrid installment, but well done. Thx for your efforts.

Another great Ingrams story. Keep them coming.

Jezzaz shows why he is one of the best. As I've said before, this is still the most original series in this hub. I didn't enjoy this as much as its predecessors, but it was still a well written story with a unique theme. Thanks Jezzaz.

do not end this series without a happy ending for April...

Such a nice series. Boy gets girl does it every time for me. Excellent writing per usual. One minor professional quibble: I use gas chromatographs, so I was tickled at the explanation of how they work- it was quite fanciful and funny to me. Where'd you find that? Anyhow, a chromatograph does something very simple: it passes a mixture of compounds in a gas stream through a tube that is coated with a substance that sticks to these substances to different degrees. Things that stick more strongly don't spend as much time in the gas stream, so they come out later from the end of the tube and are detected at longer times. People make calibrations for various substances so you can figure out what each of these is. For instance, methane might come out after 1 minute, ethanol after 3 minutes, etc. one other thing: gas chromatographs only detect things that can be heated up and vaporized. To detect things in liquids (like ammonium nitrate), you need to use a liquid chromatograph- it works on the same principle. Sorry for the verbiage- I'm jealous of those gun gurus who complain when. Certain model Glockenspiel holds 7, not 6 rounds, etc.

...proportions to make folks appreciate the characters and the story.

Thank you.

There's a bit of bias in the comments directly related to a self selected sample size. Essentially, most people have already determined they hate the Ingram's series and so they don't read any more of them and therefore don't vote or comment. Essentially, only fans are reading now and they are not exactly objective.

Two things bothered me about this story. One, the only "real" characters were Kyle the truck driver, and the FBI agent who had complete disdain for Dermot and his band of hookers, as he so aptly described them. Everyone seemed to over-emote and were just caricatures, instead of characters. Second, there's a level of arrogance the Ingram's folks convey that isn't deserving. They think they're the best, but they aren't hardly. Frankly, the best and brightest would never end up there. At the heart of it, it's a job. And the best and brightest have many more lucrative and fulfilling options than having to sleep with clients. This is not a moral critique. Even if one has no qualms about what this agency does from a moral standpoint, it's quite another to subject yourself to it. No, the arrogance is off putting and is not based on anything tangible, which just makes it...pathetic.

Last point. No drama or tension. By that I mean conflict. Mobs and FBI is not a LW conflict situation. The reason why the first Ingram's story was well received was because there was conflict and tension, a cheating spouse, Jayce, etc. (except the ending - folks trashed that because Jayce reconciling once finding out he was played again was completely out of character). Here, there is no tension. Just poor broken boy gets saved by kind hearted hooker. It's Pretty Woman except he's not a billionaire. Oh and some side plot device to frame the story around.

Looking forward to your next true LW story.

"I" vs. "me" after a preposition! It is the most common error in Literotica stories. I'm reading along in a very well-written story and ... "with Megan and I" slaps me in the face and takes me out of the story. It didn't happen often, but to the very very few language purists who read your material, it matters a lot, like a blot on a beautiful painting or a misplayed note in a lovely sonata. Lots of less fastidious readers overlook such errors--perhaps because they donʻt know any better. But your writing is so good, why not eliminate such blemishes?

I know, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Enjoying the series, I hope April finds love and someone she can hold on to.

Hooray for Megan and Thomas!

Some writers, such as Elmore Leonard, stress the importance of developing your own style. One of things EL does with that style is bring along a parade of villains that are a mix of comical and menacing.

You can see jezzaz developing his own style with more polish as these stories continue. He combines some unusual (sometimes implausible) plot points with some identifiable characters who you can both relate to and root for. These characters are both capable of introspection and able to find humor in simple things.

Looking forward to more. 5* Fave.

Candy Striper is a term used for hospital volunteer nurses, usually teenage girls. They’d never administer meds or be in on the decision making. I just started reading this series but I feel the excellent quality of what I’ve read so far deserves atttention to details in areas you are not familiar with. Now that I’ve picked the nits I’ll say thanks for the story - very nice.

Did you ever see all those plastic pipes sticking out of the house roofs? They are all vent pipes. They are all downstream of the u-traps. The purpose is to vent sewer gas if it builds to above atmospheric pressure. The only way to blow out the toilets and sinks from the sewer is to plug all those pipes, without plugging the traps. That would be an interesting problem to solve.

Oxytocin is not used for pain management, it’s a hormone which causes increased contractions during labor.

Nicely done! And appreciated. I had a few quibbles, along the way, but overall it's quite good. I highly recommend that you acquire an editing staff! What you are producing is good enough to be worth working to improve to the next level. There are way too many distracting things that better editing would handle - missing words, agreement of tenses, and other things that keep the reader from being able to just relax into the author's care.

Here are a few things that stick out to me.

First, "Ammonia Hydroxide" isn't a chemical compound; that's ammoniUM hydroxide, which the hero should definitely not make a mistake on, with all that Chemistry education. Speaking of which, that is NOT the background he'd need to "calculate" how much gas would be required - it's more about physiology and the specific poison in the gas, and even more importantly, the total air volume in the 5 houses in the row, and how airtight they are.

Personally, I'd have been terrified that one of those houses had some already ill elderly resident with a toilet en-suite, and therefore the concentration of gas in that room would rise above what that frail form could tolerate (which is {sort of} happening with many "corona virus" cases.) I'd think he would at least ask if anyone died of the gas!

"Megan Domini" doesn't quite add up - "Anno" means year, so that translates "Megan of our Lord." Which would actually kinda make it work (for Thomas, anyway.) If the omniscient voice of the narrator made it so.

Re: the guard at the door in the hospital - Ingram's should DEFINITELY have their own private 24/7 guard there, as the mob surely has MANY cops on the payroll!

Finally, I like the soliloquy Thomas goes into when he gets back to his place - LOTS! Right on point, obviously. Thanks again for what you do!

Nice tale with a very satisfying

conclusion. I like this series, even

with the imperfections.

Previous commenters have covered what looks like the big points so I'll just ask what happened with the law suit against the trucking company for putting Partridge in the position where he caused the accident?

Just a lot of good things to say about it. Yes, some editing would make it easier to read which makes it more fun. But, really good. Thanks for sharing.

Great story. Like the discussion of morals vs ethics.

Interesting choice career vs personal relationship.

True love conquers all. Yep. Well done Jezzaz.

A wonderful story line!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story, the gassing idea, wonder if that's possible, glad they got together in the end. Hopeless romantic that I am.

Simon Masters.

Excellent story

Just the best storey and a lovely happy ending. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️