All Comments on 'Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 01'

This premise is unique, and you go into interesting detail concerning his abilities as well as all of the characters' deductive reasoning. I really enjoyed this story's beginning, and hope you have a great idea for where you want to take it. I look forward to seeing more...

Really enjoyed the opening chapter, looking forward to see the story unfold.

Thats one hell of a cliffhanger. I love the stories on this site that are more than just an interlude. Taking the time to build characters properly, so the impact of what's to come is much more potent. Also, just having a great story to read is its own reward, even without the particular subject this site is named for, though its no accident I'm here finding stories to read than looking elsewhere.

Glad to have found this story. Some people underestimate the importance of a good title and that introductory sentence, but they have serious impact. Especially before a name becomes recognizable here. Hope this story helps get you that kind of recognition. Hope you have more already waiting for review, but this is definitely one worth biding time over. Be well, and thank you again.

The start of a good story. Like how you introduce the characters and describe them.

look forward to a nice long series of this one

I will be coming back for more of this. You got a really great start to this story. Now let's see how you continue to develop it. So l will see you again when the next chapter is posted. PS five stars for this chapter.

Your characters are compelling. Your premise is interesting and innovative. Most of all I learned a new word reading your work! Thank you for sharing your story and I hate that I have to wait for more because I want to keep reading no matter how long it takes!

So far, I'm intrigued and looking forward to more.

Great start hopefully we find out Kai's origin soon

Im liking it so far. Very excited to see what happens next.

I followed you on patreon, cause I'm eager for more story. Thanks for writing!

Looking forward to seeing where you take us.

Wow! This was fantastic, I am eagerly awaiting more. Thank you so much for writing.

You mentioned a story you wrote called "compromised vampire slayer". Is this online anywhere? Couldn't find anything by searching.

@Anonymous Regarding the other story, "Compromised Vampire Slayer" - originally, when I posted this Chapter 1, I was planning on having two stories going at the same time. However, I ended up deciding that it would be too much writing to keep up with every week (on a consistent basis), since I usually post large chapters (often double or triple the length of a traditional book chapter).

Thus, at the moment, the story is only available on my Patreon. I may continue that other story in the future, but I'm not 100% sure because those who have read what I have so far have said things like "it's really good, but a little dark for my taste" (and it is kind of dark, though nothing super traumatizing happens to the main character, aside from a very painful transformation into a nonhuman, but some pretty dark stuff does happen around her, kind of leaning toward psychological horror, even if the sexy parts are more along the lines of a traditional romance scene).

But basically, in the event that people do like it, I don't want to start posting chapters only to have to stop because I've got too much going on to keep up with both stories.

I've only just found this story and I have to say it's a really interesting start! I'm really intrigued where it's going so I'm off to read the next chapter! Great start, keep up the good work

Nothing much more to add as the chapter's rather short but at the very least it wets one's appetite. Moving onto the next chapter.

I love this! It's amazingly well written and very creative. I can't wait to read the rest!

Page four is blank - Storyline has caught my interest

@technoterri Literotica switched to a new site design, and the blank page is entirely on their end. I have no control over that.

Great intro.

Not really into demons / devils & such, but so far this chapter is good.

Thanks for sharing your work.

Good opening chapter. I can't wait to see where this is going. 5/5*

I realise this story is complete but I don't cheat,like I don't go to the ham of a book to find out whodunit , so I shall go on to ch.02. It seems an intriguing tale at the moment, so we'll see what direction it takes.

I salute you for the effort made, also the courage to put your work up for public scrutiny. No harsh criticisms here, just a pattern being noticed. Connective adverbs abound. Respectfully, I suggest a sentence structure re-design. Arise your posterior, away from the wobbling stool, its legs comprised of However, Nevertheless, Therefore, Nonetheless.. etc. The reliance of this sentence structure is a warped crutch, hobbling any pacing the more you lean onto it. It traps your story telling, building a cage of redundant exposition; bland and reductive storytelling where over-explanation takes the place of descriptive, CONCISE detail. Paragraphs over-TELLING relationships, histories, conditions are unnecessary, as simply SHOWING those features via well detailed actions taken by and/or between characters. Trust the reader to understand the circumstances surrounding your characters, and focus more upon the scene building. I will continue this story. Very enjoyable. Keep it up! Q~

Amazing beginning.

This is such a wonderfully written story! I am absolutely confident that one paragraph cannot even start to fathom to fit the amount of satisfaction and just utterly "wholesome"/"good"/"wow" feelings I have. Hahaha, I sound really immature I know, but it's true! The story felt so amazing and smooth to read and I can't even stop myself to read the next chapter! Either the author has a true gift in writing stories that their imagination inspired them or they put in a lot of work to write this. Either or, I am really impressed and can't wait for more! Please continue the formidably spectacular work!

@Anonymous Regarding how I write. Your suggestions are based on an era of writing when traditional publishers aimed to save on Costs as much as possible by removing as many words as possible in order to save on printing. They pioneered the idea that 'concise' was 'best,' equating concise to 'better writing,' but reality it was all about them making money. Even just a few less pages of a book would make a huge difference in their profits when printing hundreds of thousands of them. But this is incorrect. Concise does not equal better. I write to tell a good story and care little about being concise, and readers love my story because of how in-depth it goes. Rather than 'show don't tell,' I both show AND tell, because that objectively makes for a better story in many cases.

Grabbed me from the start - gotta fly through all 43 chapters this weekend...

Title made me think this is another anime inspired fantasy with enlargening body parts and silly sex scenes but to my surprise so far was much more or largely different with great story building.

Love the writing and how the story captured me as reader.

And not having one of my pet peeves, typos, that so many self proclaimed authors leave in their stories in the era of easily usable spell checking apps and software.

Many times it feels like so many writers just don't care, many even claiming to self publish on Amazon or having Patreons to get money from their sloppy writing.

This is story and author are perfect example of what kind of writing I like to read. So easy to read, with no interruptions to the flow.

First five stars from me on this site after a long time.