All Comments on 'Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 02'

My only complaint is that I have to wait for more (and I will survive). You are a craftswolf!

I love that you considered the physical intimacy's effects on his form and emotional state. You really know how to write a character! I'm mad at myself for not being this good as a writer! Great stuff...

@Anonymous Glad you enjoyed the chapter! Be sure to check out my Bio to stay up to date on when I'll be posting the next part. I update it frequently.

@Imbenevolentmaster Thank you for the compliment! The best way to get better at writing is just to do it a ton.

The secret is practice, practice, practice, just like any other skill, and you'll get better (admittedly, it's a slow process, but if you write 100k words and then go back to your the first 5k, you'll see a big difference and improvement).

Have you ever posted anything anywhere? (I saw you didn't have any stories under your profile on here, so was curious if you've ever put something on reddit or somewhere else.)

This is a slow burn, but I’m really fascinated and dying for more.

Really good at ratcheting up the sizzle. Very nice. Looking forward to more most certainly. Kid makes me feel both old and really young at the same time. No way I could have that kind of self-restraint, especially not when I Knew she wanted me. Of course the real trick (or treat rather) will be his sister convincing him its okay to have them. And presumably others? A harem of two, especially considering how close they are to each other, seems a lot more like a threesome. But time will tell. And who know what other supernatural elements may or may not show up.

I'm a bit curious about something that may or may not happen in 9 or so years. Could be mistaken, but I think I'll just keep to my misconception rather than double check the possibility.

Thank you for your work. Be well, and take all the time you need to write the story that wants written. Not by us, but the story itself ^.^

@jpz007ahren Glad you're enjoying it so far! There are a couple more chapters before it really heats up, but once we get to Ch 5 & 6 both, you won't be disappointed because it gets really really hot (the whole chapters are passionate, steamy sex scenes).

Loving this so far

Real love it

The Devil Part is very High-Concept.

But the romance here is not dependent on the Sci-Fi elements of the story. This is about a lovely woman falling in love with her best friend’s younger brother. This is very relatable. Thank you.

Building up nicely. 5 stars.

Extremely well developed and written. Looking forward to more.

So far, very well written. Thanks!

I like it , not my normal cup of tea but very interesting! *4* for this one going for the next chapter.

Like it. Thanks for sharing your work. So far the 'Devil' hasn't really affected the fact that a shy, lovely, young lady is falling in love with her best friend's brother despite his 'differences .

Nice build

5/5

Wasn’t sure about this story, but was pleasantly surprised. Thanks.

Comments cover Chapters 1 & 2.

Better than the first part. It's good that he has someone who has always cared about him know his secret now. This whole chapter has nothing negative about it. Definitely a 5/5.

First of all, I am not a critic, I like the story a lot, the build up, the characters, the action, all are very good, and promising, (hoping that the sex scenes would be steamy, detailed, and creative too ), however Am I the only one that bothered from referring Serenity as friend most of the time?!! maybe the author planned to be sister then change the plot, I don`t know, but IMO maybe mentioned her name rather than "friend" would be better unless it is necessary to the plot, also the child attitude is bothering me, as Kai is 18 not 12 years old, other than that the story is really interesting

Okay so don’t want to be to critical but there are a few things you did that really need to be fixed, Clearly the character of Serenity was meant to be the MC’s sister and at some point you changed it, you need to stop saying “older friend” once or twice is fine but it’s so jarring seeing it so often and it reads like your did a find/replace with the word sister and it doesn’t work. Second thing, please stop repeating things, pick where you want to tell the audience a bit of backstory or a description then stop bringing it up in full detail like we haven’t read it before it, it makes a reading want to start skimming which takes them out of the story. Lastly please find a better description for the MC’s sense then smelling things because it’s so odd and really should just be a magical sense that the character wrongly associated with smell. You have a fun story with some nice characters, please keep up the good work!

Great story so far but I was hoping Serenity being his first love took to use virginity. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Awesome writing. Interesting story. Great character development. One thing... FOR FUCKS sake... Go back and change the way you have Kai constantly refer to Serenity as roommate or older friend. Not sure exactly why you dick with the flow of the story by shitting on the dialogue in such an unnatural way... But it SERIOUSLY fucks with the flow of the story and brings the reader out...

good second part more to come i read more.

Comments here are both Chapters 1 & 2;

I am immensely enjoying the difference in the way this story is unfolding...it is slow, yet has so much emotion & detail...how Kai, Serenity & Gabriella know each other, but do not really KNOW each other.

Kai's "secret"...not so much any more...and Serenity is gonna find out sooner than later...in a good way, I reckon.

Obviously, these two ladies are the first in the "harem"; it will be interesting how the "others" are brought into the fold. Not really any idea of who others might be...BUT I am expecting that Serenity & Gabriella will know them and have strong input...

Curiously, you tag "succubus"...yet no mention, or even hint, of who this female person is...I am leaning toward Serenity, but could very possibly be an as-yet unnamed lady...

A few issues with the writing; yet, not enough to comment on here, other than...

Five**5**Stars...Yahoo, now on to Chapter 3!

Like @TEXASMADDOG said, I too wondered about the succubus tag. For a while I thought it was Gabriella. Still might be, even with her confession to being human. Or maybe, KaizerWolf is using the term loosely and saying Gabriella is Kai's "succubus" in the way he reacts to her. Could be something else entirely. Either way, I'm intrigued. I also really like the feels... Good character development always enhances a story and the buildup, the tension, makes the payoff worth the wait. 5/5*

So far this feels like a unique story and I mean that in a good way.

Love this series. More emphasis on plot then on actual sex. Kudos!

Amazing how sexy love is :-) Thank you for this!