All Comments on 'Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 08'

Looking forward to where this goes. Both with the plot and with the "plot". And I see that the first brick in the road has been lain, very nice, very nice. As well as finally giving a possible teaser to "justify" (that word sounds... too harsh, sorry) the inclusion of harem in the title. I imagine this story will feel very different at chapter 24 than it does here at 8, and I'm all settled in for the journey.

Take what time you need and be well. Thanks again for your story ^.^

I love this series so far, dude. Everyone’s pretty well written, you’ve left some nice intrigue about this Nick guy. I’m looking forward to what comes next. Keep up the great work!

The dialogue feels natural, the addition of the detective is a great source of conflict! Great tension, and of course, chemistry is on point. Really enjoying the story!

Excellent chapter to an excellent story. I am just loving this so much the dialogue and characters are fantastic. Can't wait for more and thanks for writing.

Thanks everyone for the compliments and feedback.

I am always open to suggestions, so feel free to add them if there are certain things you'd like to see happen in the story. I'm 5 chapters ahead on my Patreon but that doesn't mean I can't make adjustments if needed. I've definitely done it before based on sincere feedback, especially when a lot of people agree about something.

(In the future, Patreon will also be my 'testing ground' where I try out new stories to see what people think of them before I invest a ton of time into them. However, for now I'm just focusing on this one.)

Thanks again! And I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

The only thing I don't understand in this chapter, is the sister. As a cop and a friend wouldn't you think "hey my friend was kidnapped and almost raped and murdered and she's staying at my house, maybe I shouldn't invite this total stranger that she may not be comfortable around to dinner? "

I know it was probably to introduce tension with Nick being on the case of the mystery murderer, but still super odd way to do it. Seems incredibly insensitive from a friend that was so upset about the kidnapping.

@Anonymous Her motives get explained in a later chapter.

...where it's going but still an engrossing story. Now on to see if Nick is a baddie, ie after Serenity, or a real baddie, ie after Kai. Or am I completely off the track.

Just checking in - love the series. I'm not sure why I didn't pick up on it earlier, maybe the title drew me away. I'm so-so on fantasy tales, but this one is working for me. On to the next one...5*

I read this story last night. Didn't comment then as it had me in a quandary. I can't figure out why Gab is so OK with having this intimacy with this strange creature. Yes, he saved her but he is an inhuman creature. Maybe she is too?? Hmmm.

@Anonymous Ever heard of the book/movie called Twilight by Stephenie Meyer? Are you aware of the sensational movement it created when the books started being made into movies? With literally hundreds of thousands of women, of all ages (from preteen girls to middle aged women), flocking to the theaters to see their favorite inhuman men on the screen? (vampires and shapeshifting werewolves)

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Literally, long lines of all women, waiting to get into the theater.

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So not sure why this confuses you. Nothing too bizarre about this situation. A LOT of women would love to be in Gabriella's situation. A lot of women have this kind of thing as their secret fantasy. It's why Twilight was so ridiculously popular.

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Also, Gabriella liked him before finding out, and that has a huge affect on things.

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If you met someone who was missing an arm or leg, then you'd probably never consider dating them. But if you were married to someone who later lost an arm or leg, most people wouldn't leave them and would still love them the same. So when you start with "I'm already infatuated with you and like you" then everything flows differently from that starting point.

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If she had zero interest in him beforehand, then it's doubtful she would like him 'just because he saved her' -- in fact, she makes a point to say that. She says that her getting physical with him (in Chapter 2 and 3) isn't a 'thank you' for saving her, and she explains that she would have come found him anyway.

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So again, she started off liking him beforehand.

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And yes, you're correct that there are other factors at play (supernatural ones), which will come up later in the story. But even without those supernatural elements, her behavior is far from abnormal. It's very normal, given the situation.

I have to admit I am starting to lose interest. I get his problem, but he isn't doing much to remedy the situation.

How did he get this way. How did he live this long without outing himself.

Come on guy throw us a bone. Thanks for sharing.

I hate the short chapters. It's a pain in the ass when you have to do more than just punch one button to continue reading. Just about the time that I get settled into the story really good, then the chapter's over and you have to click on the link and change stuff. It's irritating. Make your chapters at least 16,000 words. That's going to come out to about 6 literotica pages.

@ScottishTexan

Each of these chapters took upwards of 15 to 30 hours to plot, write, and edit, and at one point in time, I was uploading chapter per week (so that's 20+ hours of me writing every week). I'm still doing that on my Patreon, uploading a chapter per week.

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You're literally asking that I upload 40+ hours of work at once, simply because it's a hassle for you to click an extra link. Honestly, it's Literotica that needs to update their system a little (in terms of linking stories). These 5,000 to 10,000 word chapters that you're reading are equivalent to 2 to 4 chapters in a traditionally published book. In book format, you'd be turning 20 to 30+ pages to read each chapter.

I've been really enjoying the story so far but I didn't really like this chapter for the following reasons:

1. Shouldn't he have at least some guilt for his feelings for Ren when he has Gabriella now?

2. I get he still likes Ren but the way you wrote his reaction was kinda cringy. Granted he is inexperienced but he's 18, he should be a little more mature right? I don't mean his actions, I mean the way he kept swearing in his head and how pissed off he seemed.

3. The speed with which he and Gabriella are moving is kinda hard to believe. Marriage is a big step. I mean it's a fantasy but it's more enjoyable at least to me if I can still suspend my disbelief.

Anyway I know I said I didn't like this chapter but I still really like the story and hope you keep writing. Just giving what I hope is constructive criticism.

@Sniperking

Thanks for the constructive feedback, and I'm glad the next chapter changed your mind about a lot of your concerns.

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Also, thanks for the support on Patreon. Even $2 helps a lot, and it looks like you've already blasted past Ch 40 (of nearly 70 chapters). Hope you continue to enjoy the story :)

I love your stories yes runs fast but is worth the Waite.