All Comments on 'Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 18'

"Avery, if I do this, then you're going to belong to me. And I'm not saying I'll ever do anything that you don't want me to do, but you're going to have to start living your new life 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐥. You won't be able to date anyone, and you'll have to listen to me. That's my offer. If you're not sure you're okay with that, then I'm not going to try fixing you. Because I can't afford for you to be like me if you're not going to obey me. Understand? 𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐱 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞. 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫."

WTF

The protagonist turned into a fucking psychopath.

Honestly, I’m getting very interested in the specifics of what Kai is and the rules of his species. I’m really hoping we get some pay off for it soon, because you’ve been teasing it for a while. Still, another good chapter on the books. Definitely looking forward to more. Keep it up!

Zainbain. I believe he was giving her the worst case view, to scare her off if she had any hesitance about not doing the change. I may be wrong but That was the way I read it.. I quite enjoy the Si Fi and Non Human stories on this site. This is turning into one of the most enjoyable tales I have read. Please continue taking the time to share with us. 5 STARS

@Slofred You are correct. The other commenter doesn't appear to be paying much attention to context. It clearly says just before that:

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<i> I hesitated then, glancing at Gabriella before focusing on Avery again, <b>realizing I needed to be harsh</b> about what it would mean for me to do this.

Because she needed to understand what this decision really entailed before she made it.</i>

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The MC has made it clear that's not really how he feels or thinks about the situation, but that the gravity of the situation (and the importance of keeping his secret) needs to be clear, and he thus needs to be harsh with her so she doesn't make the choice flippantly.

He doesn't have to change her or fix her, and he has the right to deny offering his blood if she's not going to take this seriously.

I've obviously gotten a lot of comments on my Patreon, and no one has a problem with what the MC said. In fact, just the opposite, all my patrons love this chapter, as well as the following ones.

I feel like that speech that the MC gives does little to lower the chance of her revealing his secret. If she is the type of person to expose him after he helps her, she is also the type to lie and say that she wouldn't tell anyone if he did help her. Especially if she is desperate.

The sentence "but you're going to have to start living your new life completely revolved around my approval" doesn't do much to make "the gravity of the situation and the importance of keeping his secret clear", as much as it makes him sound like a selfish, self-absorbed and unlikeable narcissist.

Seeing how once he decides to help her he has no way to prevent her from misusing those powers and/or exposing him, it would only make sense for him to decide to share his powers with her if he trusts her not to misuse them. And it seems to me that that's not how you speak to someone you respect and trust not to misuse those powers.

Oh well, it doesn't matter that much.

An enjoyable drama.

@zainbain You do make a good point about the trust/lying thing, and that would be especially true if he didn't already know Avery. (Granted, he also probably wouldn't be offering this to someone he didn't know and inherently trust.)

However, he does know her, and has for a while. The fact that he's saying this is because he trusts her enough to be honest, and wants her to understand how important keeping his secret is (because it's 'his' secret, not hers at this point). Again, he's not wanting her to make the decision flippantly. He wants her to understand the seriousness of the situation.

Because (and I think this is where you're thinking he's being narcissistic) he does not have to fix her, and in fact he has the right to deny fixing her. And if he's going to essentially give her a literal miracle, he also has the right to expect just about anything in return (and she is free to reject his offer if she doesn't like it).

And yeah, you might think 'well, she's vulnerable right now, and doesn't have very many options' (even though the doctors said she's probably get better with time), and that is very true, but he still has the right to deny her his blood (and deny fixing her). And he also has the right to request that she live her 'new' life around his approval. Although, he clarifies that he's not going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do (or do anything to her she wouldn't want), but that it's important she keep his secret.

From his perspective, it's all about keeping 'his' secret. It's not her secret right now, it's his. That's not narcissism. Narcissism would be 'you're going to do whatever I want, no matter what, whether you like it or not, without consideration to your autonomy as an individual free person.' This is more about survival and maintaining anonymity in a world that might want to kill him off simply for existing.

You also said, "he has no way to prevent her from misusing those powers" but that's the entire point of what essentially amounts to a threat (even if it's an empty threat). From her point of view, she has no idea what he's capable of, only that it turns out he is supernatural and can fix her (with conditions, ones that she is free to reject).

And the reason why I feel like this is being taken out of context is not only because what is said just before, (and not only because he clarifies in the same breath, even the same sentence that, 'And I'm not saying I'll ever do anything that you don't want me to do'), but also because he says to himself right afterward: "Honestly, I didn't feel right about this."

Like, just pointing out that he said, 'but you're going to have to start living your new life completely revolved around my approval,' ignores all the context that gave this 'half-sentence' meaning. Saying he's narcissist ignores the other half that exact sentence, as well as everything else that gives it context.

Anyway, I can understand how you might perceive him as narcissist if the context was different (and if the character established up until this point was different), especially if you're overly focused on what he said after suggesting that he needed to be harsh with her so she understood the gravity of the situation. But I don't think that him 'hording his miracle blood' is narcissistic.

He has a right to horde it, because it's his and his alone. He has a right to not fix anyone, and has a right to expect to be able to assert a certain level of authority over anyone he does fix, guy or girl.

(I say 'guy or girl' because he could easily make this same statement to a guy, such as Nick, and be like 'Hey, I'll fix you, but you're going to listen to me from now on. I'm your boss if I do this.' -- I'm assuming you know who Nick is. I'm also assuming you aren't reading this chapter as a standalone and are caught up on the story up until this point, because if not then that would make this whole discussion kind of pointless.)

Anyway, I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and if you find that, in your perception the MC is too narcissistic for your tastes, that's no big deal. Not every story is for everyone.

Thank you for your long, detailed response — I appreciate the time that you took to explain your thinking.

I enjoyed the discussion between Kai and Avery, as I thought it made sense in the context of the MC spending his whole life in hiding and now that he’s transforming people into supernaturals, it’s going to be “more complicated than you know” as Serenity said (although maybe Serenity was referring to the relationship angle rather than the secrecy angle.) Plus I thought the exchange was hot, with Kai seeming more dominant and Avery seeming submissive. Maybe there is a budding BDSM relationship between those two? Also it will be interesting to learn why Avery admits to being so obsessed with Kai for the past couple years.

Like others, I am enjoying learning the “in’s and out’s” of Kai’s (and Gabriella’s) supernatural abilities. Longer term, perhaps Kai runs into someone else like him, or some other type of supernatural being, which will provide an opportunity to learn more about the supernatural aspects of the universe this story is written in, as well as more potential for drama.

I remain looking forward to reading each new chapter, and I’m especially glad to see the harem “fleshing out” (bad pun intended!) I’m hooked on this story! Thank you for writing and please keep up the good work!

Still a great rolling story. Kai seems to suddenly be picking up characters for his entourage but we'll have to see how it pans out. Hopefully well for them all.

Everything thing is going good , character's and situation are well developed but sometimes the most frustrating thing is excessively detailed and long conversation.

As I am binge reading the series its frustrating........

This is a very good story. Great even. I love the little humor and innuendos you place throughout the story and even though I’m old. I become transformed into your characters. The only thing I have to grumble about is the fact that the trio just left the bank with Avery and her mom working to head home and the accident involves Avery and her mom ahead of them. Unless I missed time passing in the story. Love it anyway.

Still here enjoying it.

Thanks again.

There is so much going on I'm having to run to keep up.

Why is this on Literotica? There have been 2 weaksauce sex scenes, the last one several chapters ago, and it’s the end of chapter 18, plus some mild flirtation.

And in what way is this a harem story? The protagonist got engaged after knowing a girl for the length of one fuck.

Immediately after that he gets a sort of agreement for another girl to maybe join in in the future perhaps. Then immediately after that conversation he is now picking up a sub slave.

Is he actually going to fuck her? Either of them? Is he going to fuck his fiancée even? Will he fuck anyone ever? This isn’t a stroke story, I’ve read harder core stories with more ‘romance’ (ie fucking in a novel that isn’t specifically marketed as a wank story) in YA novels.

@Nevyn515

You answered your own question. This isn't just a stroke story, and there are plenty of other stories on Lit that are actual stories as well. Some of my favorite writers on here only write longer stories that involve a lot of plot. Home for Horny Monsters comes to mind, as well as What You Wish For by Rehnquist.

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Any time you see a story that has more than 5 chapters, it's almost guaranteed to not be purely a stroke story.

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It's still erotica though, and classified as such on Amazon. Those romance novels you speak of are trying to fly under the 'erotica radar' and claim they are 'just romance' because there's a bit of a stigma to be classified as erotica.

Years ago I went to a major exhibition od South American art: I was amazed at how many 20th century artists seemed to die in accidents. Your accident body count is racking up.

NB, hospitals control syringes carefully as they are popular with drug addicts.

Eighteen fucking chapters of Virtually NO fucking NO blow jobs etc etc but you got away with it because your storyline is so fucking amazing but I do hope all that changes soon now that he’s got three to ravage and two of them possible virgins…… Serenity and Avery

great work looks like he is collecting different type of girls.

Been a good story do far, but I'm not really a fan of noble characters suddenly acting like a psychopath