All Comments on 'Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 21'

Too short!! You can't leave us hanging like that, it's just cruel!

Hello Mr Wolf

I know that this is just the sample site for your subscription story, but this is literotica. A story about a harem building, teenage incubus coming into his abilities should be sizzling erotic, not just mystery box.

You keep hinting at future sexual dynamics without doing anything with his present situation.

I don't know if you are into comics but maybe look into Raven from DC. Her magic comes from her demonic father, but the more power she uses, the more her father's influence takes hold. She is a character that does not want to grow or explore her powers, but keep them contained and in check.

Maybe have an ability like this for Kai or as the dynamic for a future harem girl. I love stories where great powers are not a blessing, but a burden. I like how Kai has to weigh his decisions between helping people and risking his loved once with the possibility of being exposed. Help someone now and not potentially be able to help others in the future.

I am very much enjoying this story and am looking forward to future chapters.

Thanks

Zah

@Anonymous Literotica is not a 'sample site.' I simply have advanced chapters on my Patreon, where I get feedback from those supporting me before it ends up here, but those chapters do end up here eventually.

As far as the amount of sex goes, have you been reading the other comments? Because most people are here for the story, not the sex. However, as I have explained to others, this is a long story, and there will definitely be more sex overall once the MC actually develops the relationships he's only now begun. Also, more importantly, there are different arcs to this story, and some arcs are going to have a lot of sex, while others have very little. (That's because it would be kind of silly to have the characters stop in the middle of a crisis, just so they can have sex really fast, and then move on with the drama.)

In fact, your comment about Raven (and how you wish the MC was similar) should hopefully make you realize that an Incubus with a "Raven-like situation' might actually cause him to accidentally kill his harem with a lot of sex, considering he doesn't have full control over his abilities. (So you want more sex, but also want a Raven-like character -- those don't go together in my mind at least.)

The rest of your comment seems to be what you would like to see in this story, so I won't address that (since denying or confirming how things work would be a spoiler), except to say that I'm glad you're overall enjoying this story so far.

Write your story at your pace... I'm still enjoying them

Can hardly wait for the next chapter. ASAP please.

Love the addition of a milf to the groupe ..... can't wait for more .

There are stroke stories and then there are plot and character-driven stories both have a place on this site. I enjoy both according to mood. Excellent premise and story.

the way you’re writing the story is perfectly fine but can you please stop hinting at sex through descriptions when it doesn’t actually happen in the chapter?

Ok it was not the kinky stuff I like but I had to read every word and loved it. Keep it coming your doing great.

A few of you have commented on having an issue with the story descriptions in this chapter and the last, so I wanted to explain my reasoning:

Essentially, I don't want to give out any spoilers to those who might just now be starting the story, and these descriptions could very easily do that if I said something like 'Kai transforms his girlfriend accidentally' or 'Kai transforms his classmate' or as one person suggested 'Kai and Sister consider incubus inheritance' -- like, that's a major spoiler right there!

Finding out that the MC was actually part-incubus was a big reveal that some suspected, but wasn't confirmed until only recently. There's a reason why I called it Innocent "Devil's" Harem (the incubus thing was a reveal for later).

Also, if you're caught up with the story, then I don't feel like the descriptions are misleading at all. For example, I think someone had an issue with the description 'Kai and his hot older Sister finally get more intimate,' and that is exactly what happened. Why does anyone have an issue with that? They got intimate.

Like, if they were going to have sex, then I'd probably say something like 'Kai and his hot older sister finally fuck' or something similar (is fuck even allowed in the description field? lol). But point is, I would have been more clear, instead of saying 'intimate' (which is literally what happened).

And if someone hasn't even begun the story, then I likewise don't feel like it's misleading because all these descriptions are meant to 'tell readers what they'll eventually get out of the story by reading it.' Like, the descriptions are letting readers know this story contains a hot sister, a hot classmate, a busty girlfriend, and a sexy MILF, etc.

And with the next chapter's description, that one will be a bit vague too, even if it's very appropriate, because if I say something like 'Kai tries to help during hot MILF's medical emergency' or something like that, then it's a spoiler for you guys and it's definitely a spoiler for new readers.

Plus, it might give a bad impression, making new readers think that the MILF is unhealthy, since they don't know that she was in a car accident, etc.

So basically, the story descriptions aren't for those of you who are caught up on the story. They are for new readers, to get them interested in checking it out. And because the descriptions are primarily for new readers, it's very important I keep spoilers out of it as much as possible.

Also, does it really matter?

Like, the descriptions are accurate, even if some of you think that it's misleading in the sense that it implies sex, but like the last two chapters: How is the description of 'Kai decides he wants a hot MILF in his harem' misleading? That's what happens. He decides he wants a hot MILF in his harem.

Or 'Kai’s Sister finds out more about his Girlfriend’s Mom' or 'Kai’s girlfriend and Sister help save new hot harem girl' or 'Kai’s busty Girlfriend and hot Sister meet girl number 3' -- those are literally descriptions of things that happen in those respective chapters. And it shouldn't be misleading if you're caught up on the story. And it's spoiler-free if you're not.

And sure, the one for Ch 15 is a bit misleading 'Kai gets bad wakeup call when Girlfriend jumps hot Sister.' but that's the irony of it. The girlfriend does jump the sister (and it's a bad thing, hence the bad wakeup call). Like, I included 'bad wakeup call' so it's not like I was trying to fool anyone. That would normally be a good wakeup call, if it was sex.

Anyway, I don't know how many of you guys will actually see this comment, so I'll probably just post the same one on the next chapter once it posts. But seriously, chill out. Just enjoy the free story and stop nitpicking about things that don't really matter.

I'm more than happy to listen to sincere 'constructive feedback,' but the little complaints about minor aspects of the story is getting absurd. And I'm not the only one who has noticed.

I actually had someone send me a private message that basically said (paraphrase) 'Wow, I've never seen a comment sections like yours. I don't know why people are nitpicking so much, but I think it's a small minority. I love this series and I like how much you're devoting to building up the female characters, and I like how you play with power dynamics in a believable way.' etc.

Point is, I know I'm not the only one who thinks all this (because I do take the time to wonder if I'm just bias, but nope, it's not just me).

Anyway, I know that most of you are loving this story, and I hope you continue to love it, and I am more than happy to listen to any constructive feedback.

I love this story. Please continue as it is one of my favorite on literotica.

Read your detailed reply on chapter descriptions, thanks. Still an enjoyable read.

Really strong prose, and the story is engaging, but I have to say I really wish there was more "action". I obviously still love the story, and can appreciate slow burns especially when you're surging so hard to make the character motivations work.

But three sex scenes (all with the same pairing) across 60 or 70-ish lit "pages" is... I mean I read these stories for more than one reason, but one of the reasons is to actually get off.

Oh no... she can't die just because he held her hand.??

Thanks again.

Really hoping that Michelle is divorced so the MC can add his first Milf and mother/daughter to his harem!!!!

I'm wondering now if Michelle's Husband/Avery's Dad wasn't the DOA in the same accident that bled out because of recent surgery. Avery being depressed could have been concern about her father needing an upcoming surgery. On to the next chapter.

"Because while my biological dad seemed like an alright guy"- Seriously? I mean I acknowledge he is at least leaving Kai to his own devices but from the stuff he wrote in that letter he is far from an oka dude. Is Kai going to the dark side?

Really don't need a fucking mom thing. Just getting weird.. like the first 15 chapters barely qualified as a harem and now we're getting a mother-daughter thing. Also C cups on a thin women are large. So your most trim woman has large breasts and the rest are ridiculous. Avery would've been a perfect girl to have nice B (or even A) cups to actually fit with her being a lithe runner. Why force all your characters to be top-heavy bimbos on their way to sag city? I don't think the big tits tag has to mean literally everyone.. I am here despite that tag. Js.

Otherwise 4/5 ;)

Okay...very nice detail here in this story...you are doing a great job with this...a real edge-of-the-seat tale...I am still loving it!!

Five Stars...very well-deserved!! 💫💫💫💫💫🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

After reading 21 chapters in one go, reading the comments always seem to amuse me. Yeah many things could be written differently, i thought the same about a few things, but in the end one has to admit that the story is really enticing, it keeps you hooked (at least from my perspective) and is overall enjoyable to read.

Some of my thoughts about the story so far:

I wouldve like if there was more buildup for the relationships, i felt kinda rushed and a litte too "convenient" and easy to aquire new harem members. I wouldve like to some effort from the mc to be required, i miss the "thrill of the hunt" after the girls so to say, i mean he's hunting game and bad guys...

For the sex scenes so far, it felt fine overall(even though i wouldnt have minded more scenes). It somewhat felt weird to me, that even though it was the first time for an incubus and part sucubus, they'd go trough all of their fantasies in the blink of an eye.

Anyways i keep reading and looking forward how the story goes on.

@Bakaoaru

It's always a balancing act. Some people want more plot/action, some people want more steamy scenes.

Some people want it to be harder for him, some like that it is easy, and want things to progress even faster, etc.

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I have this story up to Chapter 123 on my Patreon. The lowest tier lets you read pretty much up to Ch 115.

patreon.com/KaizerWolf

KIA

You were very close on the IV's, they'd split it 1 for fluids(AKA. water and salt) in which basics like the magnesium would be added, 2 another IV in the other arm/feet for heavy drip like antibiotics or meds. If they add a third it's for a drug you don't mix, I've died and had all four that's anti-death or blood meds, may have shaved her and put in a drain though.

For future writing of course.