All Comments on 'Innocent Devil’s Harem Ch. 33'

I have to be honest here, the changes/edits just ruined this story for me. I understand from another post you made that your reasoning was to make it easier to publish. While I can understand that logic as a reader/fan it's hard to appreciate. This is chapter 33 of this story. We've been invested in this story as it was for 32 chapters. To have it altered at this late date feels like having the proverbial rug pulled out from under you. It's take that eager anticipation I had for a new chapter and just doused it.

Not even mentioning that the changes have created some holes in the story and the motivations of certain characters. Good luck in getting published.

Welcome back! Great way to return, also.

Meh..the changes in the dynamic of the story as a whole really is jarring ..that and the constant use of ..my fiance and etc throughout is annoying..by this point of the story the reader should know who is whom.. i dunno it just seems off in some way ..not as interesting of a read.

something is missing in this chapter. . Not sure if Mrs Watson is afraid of the object, or what it will do to Kai? Or his actual powers now that she realizes what they are. I expectantly await the next chapter, to learn what the reasons for her sudden change of position are. I am sure there is more to this event than we are seeing at present. If not we have a whole new story? stars for this chapter with reservations. Please enlighten us soon.

Meh. Please ignore the reviews from those who can't grasp reading comprehension. Is if the best chapter you've put out... No. Of course not. Does it deserve the drama? No. Of course not.

Still going with 5 stars but starting to get bored with how slow moving this has been to get to here.

It really needs to pick up some speed to keep my interest going. Is there any chance of that?????

I hope so!

I’m glad things are working out for you IRL and that you’re back. I enjoyed the chapter and I don’t really get what throwaway131447 is talking about so I wouldn’t pay him any mind. Thanks for sharing the story with us. We appreciate it.

Wonderful to have you back. Loved the new chapters to both stories. Thank you

i would wait years to finsh this story keep up the great work

The only "jarring" changes in personalities is really just how Rebecca is portrayed. And I think that comes down to a well thought out subtext of what's going on. A mother has just recently learned that her inexperienced and relatively naive daughter has just started dating a sex demon, a magical and powerful species she has probably been warned about her entire life. THEN she learns that not only are they dating, but already having sex and are in fact already engaged after knowing each other only days. Something COMPLETELY out of character for her. Yes, he saved her, but what if he was manipulating her or actually behind her being in danger? THEN she learns that he is not only one of a powerful race of sex demons, but he is capable of completely erasing a woman's free will and permanently enslaving her. What would a powerful but loving mother with connections in the supernatural community do?

What I think is she called in a favor, or actually paid a lot of money to influential people and had a supernatural hit-man set-up outside her house "just in case" to provide some security for a worst case scenario. This hit-man would be informed about an incubus' strengths and weaknesses and how to deal with them. When Rebecca confirmed that Kai could have enslaved Gabriella she put Kai to a very important test. I believe she wanted to believe Kai was as kind and honest as he seemed, but her family's safety was at stake. I think if Kai failed that test and enslaved Rebecca the hit-man was under orders to take Kai out. Probably if Rebecca didn't give an "all clear" by a certain deadline.

I think Rebecca believing her daughter's safety and free will were being jeopardized goes a long way to explaining her bizarre, out-of-character behavior.

So glad to finally see this story back!

I’m assuming that there was a good reason for the sudden hostility to Kai that you’ll be revealing in future chapters so I’m not letting that bug me too much. Looking forward to what comes next but I am hoping there won’t be too long of a wait before we finally start getting some real answers to the mysteries you’ve laid out for us.

Can’t wait for what’s next and keep up the writing! 5 stars

another great chapter well worth the wait and like always can't wait for the next one to be available

Kinda new to the story, so I don't get the comments about negative changes, but I loved the twist with Rebecca. LOVED it. It's exactly what this story needs. I'm confident it was all an effort to get him to dominate her. She's probably wanted a man who could do so all her life and has possibly heard about how pleasurable it can be submitting to an incubus. Eager to see where this goes.

I am so glad you have the time to write again. You are gifted. Thanks.

I'm a bit confused by the story's timeline. I thought Kai and Avery were on Christmas break, but there's been mention several times about there only being 'a few weeks of school left'.

That does not compute. I gather by the complaining after a recently previous chapter, you did a re-write, and changed the relationship between Kai and Serenity. I almost commented at one point, about the various posted comments asking about "The Sister", (and the incest category), which was confusing as hell, since the version I've been reading always had them as not related.

Oh, that explains the over/awkward of "roommate" in Kai's thoughts and dialogue; you must have done a search and replace of sister for roommate.

Since you took a shortcut on that, I'm guessing you either ignored the timeline error, or missed it.

If you are serious about self-publishing and marketing these books, you can't/shouldn't take the shortcut, or ignore the timeline issue. They both are glaring literary errors, and you only get once chance to debut a 'first work'. Issuing them with the errors via Patreon is one thing, but actually offering them on Amazon, or elsewhere as 'finished' works would be a serious 'rookie mistake'.

If you are serious about being a professional writer, self-publishing and marketing your work, you need to offer professional quality work to compete, else you may well be savaged by critiques, as fail in your sales ambitions.

If you aren't wanting/willing/able, (timewise), to bring the work to professional standards, I'd recommend you promote your work via Patreon to develop an increased base of supporters, get some case flow coming in, and re-configure your life so you can do the works the service they deserve.

If it's a not want/willing, then you likely won't take my advice, but you likely won't accomplish your goals of selling reasonable enough numbers for it to be financially rewarding, and you'll lose interest/ real life work will take precedent.

Harsh words, I know, but not meant viciously, or personally. The publishing work is NOT for the faint hearted. What did I hear an author say not long ago during a PBS radio interview... something like: 'deciding to write for a living means getting used to people hating your writing.'

Now, THAT is harsh... LOL...

Best of luck, which ever route you choose, or where ever you're coming from in this adventure. One thing is certain: you'll learn something from it, and isn't that what life's all about, anyway?

Thanks for sharing, and the work to put it out here for us.

GeoD

@Anonymous/GeoD

You're confusing stories. 'Naughty Friend Buys My Silence' takes place on Christmas Break. 'Innocent Devil's Harem' has always started in the spring (in April).

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Yes, you're correct that the characters in this story were never related at any point in time.

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Yes, you're correct that this story still fits in the Taboo category, even if it never had incest (that's why it's labeled Incest/Taboo, both, and really the category has the incest portion including by the admins to ensure that people know where to put incest stories, but a Nun having sex for the first time would also fit in this category, as well as a large variety of other taboo and non-traditional forbidden relationships that don't really fit in the other categories available).

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No, I didn't take any shortcuts in modifying this story. Ever since the initial adjustments were made, this entire story has been fully re-read and fully edited, a painstaking tasks that took well over 100 hours. I've had quite a few people read this story for the first time, after the changes, and not thought it read strange at all.

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Yes, you're correct that 'deciding to write for a living means getting used to people hating your writing'

...that's why these comments don't bother me. Because I'm used to it, and I'm well aware that only the most disgruntled 'few' will comment. But 99% of readers, who don't comment, just appreciate that I'm continuing to post this story for free, instead of taking it completely off Literotica, like many other writers do.

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And no, I didn't view your comment as being harsh, but it was full of statements made from inaccurate assumptions (about me, about the changes to this story, about my expertise, about the process, about publication, etc.).

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I mean, I already have a Patreon set up, to get feedback and such, but you weren't aware of that, even though it's in my Bio, and in the comments.

Which is perfectly fine!

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'Except,' that you're making a lot of statements based on those types of incorrect assumptions, like:

"I'd recommend you promote your work via Patreon to develop an increased base of supporters, get some cash flow coming in, and re-configure your life so you can do the works the service they deserve."

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I mean, even if I didn't have a Patreon already, do you realize how hard it is for the average person to 'get cash flow' and 're-configure your life' so that he/she can provide 'the service they deserve?'

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Like seriously. Jeez, what a statement.

Very few writers are afforded such a luxury.

Not to mention, I think that supporters will judge for themselves if they are getting 'the service they deserve.'

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All of your statements, from the very first sentence, were like this. Not that I don't appreciate the advice, but none of it applies to my situation, and it only sounds 'harsh' in the sense that your assumptions about everything are false to begin with, leading to a lot of statements that you wouldn't have felt the need to make otherwise (like about Patreon).

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Anyway, it sounds like you're following this story, and sincerely trying to offer helpful advice (and not just trolling), so I do appreciate you taking the time to leave a long comment like this, and I do hope you continue to enjoy this story.

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I am also not trying to be harsh, by any means, but offering advice like 'you should consider this' instead of 'failing to do so is a rookie mistake' might be better received by the average writer. And probably isn't best to tell any writer 'you'll never be successful unless you put in the time to be a professional writer, and if you can't then you shouldn't even bother trying, because you need to give them what they deserve' (paraphrased) because that's just not true.

I've known of plenty of writers who were 'good enough' to get a solid foundation underneath them. And I know plenty of authors who still create their own 'horrible art' covers, have stories riddled with grammar errors, and no editing done, and yet they publish on Amazon and are plenty successful. (Or they have a Patreon and do well with that, even though they don't meet your standard of 'professional')

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So might be best to tone down the assumptions a little, maybe even take couple of minutes to investigate what that author has going on, before leaving a comment like that (I'm sure that writing your comment took a few minutes to type out, so if you're going to put in the time, might as well make sure it's relevant to the person you're addressing).

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Anyway, thanks again, and I hope you continue to enjoy this story.

Thank you so much for returning to this story it's excellent and hot as usual.

intense chapter. wonder what Mrs.Watson is up to? Testing to see his control

A bit confused as to what's going on with Mrs Rebecca, hope it's resolved in all their favour, if that's possible. Another excellent instalment as I start to catch up.

I know I Her MOM want him to compel her but she is pissed that he would pick serenity over her.

And the chapters get shorter and shorter. The who gives a fuck letter from the author at the start gets longer and the last 5 or so chapters have a rehash of the last chapter and that gets longer and longer.

So a 1 and a half page chapter like this one is really barely a page long if that.

I feel for the patreon people paying per chapter as this is getting stupid.

Also saying 100k words is a book is a joke. That’s a short story or a novella, well a short one, at best. A novel a full novel is 500 full pages minus the ISBN and title stuff and the blanks that are required for the printing process when they print and fold the big sheets.

@Jackspeed2u

First of all, people on my Patreon DON'T pay 'per chapter.' It's monthly, and so the $2 tier gets 4 chapters per month for the single $2 payment. Considering it takes upwards of 20 to 30 hours just to write ONE chapter, they are giving me $0.50 per chapter, and only about 2 cents for my time (per hour).

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Would you work 20 hours per week at 2 cents per hour, for a total of $0.50 for your time? Shoot, there are people who drop $3 to $5 on a coffee every day. They spend $5 easily on their daily habit. Or they spend $10 to $15 to grab lunch. Or they spend $10 to $15 for a movie that will entertain them for all of 2 hours.

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For many of my supporters, $2 per month is more than reasonable for something they enjoy.

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Second, a book that is a '500 full pages' IS usually 100,000 words. In traditional publishing, they often only fit 200 to 250 words on a printed page, either due to the font print size, or due to the overall 'book size.' The maximum length of a 'novella' is 40,000 words. Anything over 70,000 words is firmly in 'novel' territory.

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The 1st Harry Potter book (by J. K. Rowling) is ONLY 77,000 words.

Book 2 of Harry Potter is ONLY 85,000 words.

The Hobbit (by J. R. R. Tolkien) is only 95,000 words.

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As I mentioned, it takes upwards of 20 to 30 hours just to write one chapter, including plotting, writing, and editing (that's easily 10 hours of work on Saturday and Sunday). You shouldn't 'feel bad' for the people supporting me on Patreon. No one is making them support me, and in fact they are more than happy to do so. They are the reason why this story is now approaching 1 million words.

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Lastly, the style of this story is like a 'soap opera' where 1 hour of screen time is 1 hour of 'story world' time. It sounds like you just don't like that style, in which case, that's fine.

But it's an intentional style.

This...is an exceptionally revealing chapter....shows Kai is not only in control of himself, but that he has MATURED in that control; his rejection of Rebecca, in the face of such a great "loss" to himself, shows how much he 'reserve's fulfillment of his harem, and how well he will take care of the ladies who have chosen to be his!! Good On Kai!!

As for the style of writing, I have made it known that I appreciate KaizerWolf's work, and time investment, into our enjoyment of his story and efforts!! Other, less complimentary (read..."negative assholes") can just move on...let the rest of us "lesser mortals" enjoy this!!

Five**5**Stars...✨✨✨✨✨🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💫💫💫💫💫

And, it takes me a lot less time to comment, nicely, here than it does for KaizerWolf to write...so saying a nice thing to him is only natural!!

This comment is after my first read through... I may have missed something but I'm curious as to WHY Rebecca did what she did and gave him that ultimatum. What was she trying to prove and why? I have a couple of theories and a butt-load of questions. Can't wait to see how this unfolds. 5/5*