All Comments on 'Interrupting the babysitter'

That was hot

Great job - now I am going to check out the author’s earlier stories

This needs a part 2!

Very nice!

The girl had the guy totally under her control. Next time, she will fuck him.

Holy wow. That's some writing. Respect!

wow....every Dads fantasy....loved it...well written too

Hot as hell!

Needs a next part. Wow

I couldn't get past halfway through the first page. When you are jumping back and forth in time with no que, it creates a discontinuity that interrupts your reader. If that was what you were intending, you succeeded. However, if your goal wasn't to chase away readers, either put everything in a chronological flow, use a graphic division marker, put the thoughts of the past in italics, or have a notation for the temporal shift (either something like -three hours earlier:, or Earlier today when I,).

Ten stars. Wow!