All Comments on 'Intimate Adversary'

yeah I don't know. I think it was too short and there was too much more you could have done with it. Once they met you went directly to the epilogue with no getting to know each other... I mean that's the good stuff and you skipped past it. Not only that but who is brick Johnson or Wee Mei? you kind of just threw them in at the end and expected the reader to know and like them like they are stock characters everyone should know already.

Should have been humor!

5

Loved the concept and execution of this short. Like the end too "Ya filthy animal" good old endearing insults there and everyone went to the next level and didn't just die making this the least violently ending..? Apocalypse is not the word but it's the closest I can think of.

The end was totally unexpected and awesome!!!

Not ment in a bad way but this was a surprisingly good story. Just sad that they never meet their kid.

No character development, almost no dialog, no story arc - just a flat list of facts from the third person's point of view. Reads like someone's incomprehensive acid trip.

...well I think it is but I'm not a scientist and the story, short though it may be, is brilliant.

Looking forward to your next long one. *****

I know this story is just meant to be a 'tide-over' whilst you complete the final part of Satyr Play 3, but there are too many exciting elements here for you to just let it go with such abruptness.

Yes, this story is extremely short by your normal standards, but I think that is where the intrinsic problem starts. It is so full of ideas, all truncated for the purpose of keeping the story as short as possible, that really all I want to see is a 'much' longer and more detailed version.

If anything, this tale only goes to display the talents of an author who cannot be contained within the constraints of the short story format. You need to stick to your own particular strengths, namely character development and involvement within a constructive whole.

Oh, my. Neat little flash piece. Humorous. Actually thought provoking.

Thanks! I'm still hungry for what you're working, this is a nice treat!

Tight, clean, morally satisfying as usual, and well orchestrated.

That was so much FUN! Fast and furious like an amusement park ride! Loved it. Thanks!!

Thanks for the story.

Interesting

This feels more like a prologue to something more substantial, rather than a full story. A really good prologue, but it doesn't feel complete.

Deciding to throw in that one paragraph that has their child transition before birth opens up some really unfortunate questions, though. Why isn't their baby immune to transition, if they are? All of Mei's eggs and Brick's sperm were subjected to the same energies, no? If those don't carry the immunity, why isn't it the blastocyst which transitions, immediately upon fertilization? If it is a matter of the baby needing to develop sufficiently to make that leap, independently of Mei, what happened to all of the other pregnancies that were in progress that day? Did the moms transition but their embryos and fetuses didn't?? If both transitioned regardless of development, why is Mei's baby the only one capable of independent transition?

Grinning ear to ear! Good one.

Looks like it was fun to write, however I was disappointed. It took more time to load in my computer than it did to read. You are one of my favorite authors precisely because your stories are usually much longer and therefore more satisfying

Thanks for the tid-bit. I'm waiting for more about Ben.

Another great story! You did it again, a great short story with a twist. Thank you for sharing you talent!

Great story but looking forward to your next long one.

Nice light read i approve.

Now I again have read everything you've written here at Lit. Still waiting for the next installment of whichever of your story lines you will continue on. I really enjoy your stories because they are usually long and involved with well built characters and plot. Unlike most of the other authors who apparently can only write 2-3 page teasers and think that's writing. To write such short stories and not take advantage of the volunteer editors and just post these stories so full of errors makes me think that they write just for the ego stroking. You on the other hand make a very good attempt to write a story and fix errors before posting. Thank you for such dedication.

Anony Mous

Yes, but... but... but... But what about Sr. Professor Raul and the beautiminous Gabriela, not to mention 7.8 billion-odd of their nearest and dearest fellow human beings?? Even when our lusty protagonists set the stage for the Theorem of Rapid Evolutionary Transition to be tested, they knew that it could never be considered scientifically valid. Results achieved that can never be repeated do not a valid scientific theory make.

Too bad-- they seem to almost on to something there, with their TRET, their "Theorem of Rapid Evolutionary Transition". I suppose that it wasn't such a TRET to human life on the earth after all...

The first sentence, and the ending lines are absolutely perfect. Great little story.

Freakishly good. You make the rest of us crummy wanna-be authors look bad. I respect that, Imperialist Pig-Dog.

Nice outline. Looking forward to the actual story!

The child transitioned like the rest of the population and not like it’s parents transitioned? I guess that was what you intended to say.

Excellent story! Your stories just Amaze me, Excellent Author! Every story of yours I've read so far have received, at least, a 5 BIG FAT FUCKING STAR RATING. Loved it. You write the most Amazing stories.

Loved it!!!

Ah, loving words!

A strange but entertaining little story. Thanks

Excellent idea ..... The pestilence is obliterated, so nature takes over and silence is golden ...... Do you carry those plans and you just need investors? ...... Perfect

🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 ten starships for moving into the light instead of five stars

LolL

Well, I may be cynical, but the human race "transitioned" into vapor. The plan was to leave two powerful sterile humans to wind down humanity's pollution of earth, allowing nature to resume normally. The transition plan was probably developed by an AI bot that was asked to "save the earth" ;)

A quirky story with a rather sad ending.

Quirky, fun, ... thank you!

Earths answer is a sterile Adam & Eve? Inevitable.

\

As Star Trek will never happen - humanity will go extinct first. Our food supply chemicals and greed for technology has already set into motion humanities extinction, we are to arrogant/greedy to recognize the facts - just look at the fall of male sperm counts.

\

4**** Hooyah, Salutes to ponder

Damn I love your stories, what a joy! Thank you for being my favorite Author. I can't get enough of your stories. Another 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS

💯💯💯💯💯😉🙏✌️🤷👍👍👍👍👍👍🐕🤣🌹

Well that was unexpected, but not unwelcome, very good story.

Imaginative. And hot.

Beautiful!

Highly creative and hot with it!!