Is Love All or Nothing? Ch. 19

First of all thank you everyone for participating in this incredible journey with me. I know you've all waited patiently and here it is, chapter 19 and the last chapter of Is Love All or Nothing? I've tried my best to tie up all loose knots, give answers to questions that I am willing to answer, and give a happy ending. Again thank you Tigersman for all the editing you have done for me since you've jumped on board.

OK, enough ranting by me. Enjoy!

*****

"So you really thought I was mad at you all this time?" Keith asked in disbelief.

"Maybe not all this time," Stacy admitted embarrassed, "but I had nothing to go on. You never contacted me again."

Keith shook his head and laughed, remembering that night all too clearly. "From my perspective, you took the news as if I was breaking up with you. I didn't want to force us being friends if that wasn't what you wanted."

"Well you were right. We would have been better at just being friends."

"Were? I think you mean are better at just being friends," Keith pointed out. "You never lost me as a friend Stacy. All you had to do was send me a text to chat and I would have."

"Just like that? Send a text and no questions asked?" Stacy asked perplexed.

"Um, yeah. One miscommunication is nothing to ruin a friendship over."

"Really? What about Stan?"

"Stanley Morris? That's wasn't a miscommunication. He just interpreted everything in a way to make himself look good and everyone else look like an idiot."

"Ok, bad example," Stacy admitted.

"What was a bad example?" Jackie asked, coming through Keith's bedroom door.

"I tried pointing how miscommunication had ruined a friendship for Keith in the past, but I chose probably the worst person from high school to use."

"Better example would have been the first night Keith and I met."

Stacy looked at Jackie, interested to hear what happened. "Do tell." Jackie went on to tell her about the first conversation she had with Keith and how he ran out on her. "Yep, that sounds like Keith," she said laughing.

"I did make an ass out of myself that night," Keith said.

"Maybe, but you're the sweetest boyfriend ever. Far from the ass you thought you were," Jackie comforted.

"Keith is only an ass some of the time," Andy said as he walked in. "Most of the time he is just clueless."

"And what does that say about you sticking around with such a clueless friend?" Keith shot back.

"Says that you need me so you're not so clueless."

Keith rolled his eyes. "Now I know what you think of me as a friend."

"You know I only jest. You were only clueless about social situations."

"I can't see how people just don't understand how awesome I am."

"Whatever you say Keith." Andy turned to look at Stacy. "Do you need a ride back to the bar to get your car?"

"Sure." Stacy said her goodbye to Keith and Jackie promising to keep in touch with both of them. She and Andy left the apartment and walked to Andy's car. "So you've been taking care of Keith all this time in my place," Stacy said.

"Yep," Andy answered, "and you can have him back." They got into the car and Andy started his car. "What was Keith like in high school?"

"I didn't really get to know him until he asked me to be his date for homecoming our sophomore year."

"He told me that and he was ready to be rejected by you."

"If he had asked me on a different day I might have," Stacy admitted, "but he asked a few days after I was dumped for some slut."

"Did he know?" Andy asked.

"He knew I wasn't seeing that guy anymore. I was starting to feel better about myself that day and then he asked me to be his date." Stacy paused for a second, thinking about it. "He didn't seem nervous at all. He just came up to me, greeted me and asked if he could have the honor of being his date to homecoming."

"He phrased it like that?" Andy asked laughing.

Stacy started to laugh as well. "Yep, he did and that was probably the other reason I said yes." Andy looked at her confused and she noticed. "I always knew him just as a weird boy before then, but he was always so kind with the few interactions we did have before then. I knew he wouldn't do anything at the dance to make me uncomfortable and I was at the point I just wanted a friend."

Andy nodded his head. "He has always been so kind. More than once during our freshmen year at college I pushed him past his limits with teasing and such, but when I needed a friend he was always there for me." He stopped his car at the red light. "So what happened at homecoming?"

Stacy smiled. "We danced and just got to know each other. As we talked I found him to be weirded," Andy quietly laughed at that statement, "but also found him to be very passionate about what he talked about. What surprised me most was that he asked about me a lot."

"He likes getting to know people," Andy stated.

Stacy nodded. "Yes he does. Near the end of the night he told me that he has Asperger's and the ways he knew at the time it affected him."

"Did your view of him change when he told you that?"

"Of course. It made me start to understand him better and why he was so weird. Little did he or I know though that his telling me that probably changed me for the better."

"How so?" Andy asked as he parked his car next to hers.

"I was very selfish and conceited back then. More than once I used someone to get my way. Hell, I was wanting to use Keith to get back at the guy who dumped me. When he told me he has Asperger's I started to understand him more. Did you know he actually used to sit alone during lunch?"

"No, I didn't," Andy admitted, surprised by that fact.

"I didn't notice either until I saw him that following Monday sitting by himself, just eating his food. The next two days I still sat with my friends but kept looking over at his table seeing him still by himself. He waved to me one of those days and I waved back, but felt sad that he was alone. He never sat alone again after that day if I could help it."

"What about your friends?"

A small smile formed on Stacy's mouth. "They quickly made fun of me and that I was insane for wanting to sit with Keith. They understood why I went to homecoming with him, but didn't see him as being worthy of me. Looking back now, they wouldn't have been worthy of being his friend. I sure wasn't but he accepted me for me and slowly I realized life wasn't about me. That is the reason why I pursued nursing in college and am now a nurse. I wanted to help people and put them at ease when they needed that sort of help most. More than once because of my experiences with Keith, I was able to help an autistic patient."

Andy slid his hand under Stacy's. "I'm glad he had you as a friend in high school."

"Me too," Stacy said smiling at Andy.

************************************************************

Jackie lay next to Keith as they napped together. After the whole ordeal they both were exhausted and she didn't feel like going home. Especially because she felt guilty for not believing more in Keith, not believing that he wouldn't cheat on her. She only slept for an hour, but she enjoyed watching Keith sleep, seeing him relaxed. About another hour later he started to wake up to see her face. That face which no longer was sad but happy to see him.

"Hey beautiful," Keith said.

"Hi handsome," Jackie replied, giving him a soft kiss on the lips. "Enjoy your nap?"

"Only because I knew you were still here with me." They laid together in silence, looking at each other before Jackie started squirming around. Keith silently started laughing. "I'll still be here while you use the bathroom to relieve yourself."

"I'll be right back," Jackie said as she got out of bed and went to the bathroom to pee. When she got done she washed her hands and exited the bathroom to see Keith sitting up on the edge of his bed. "You shouldn't be getting up yet. You need to rest."

"I don't want to be cooped up in my bedroom all day. Besides there is no TV in here."

"You think I'm going to let you play video games?" Jackie asked accusingly.

Keith stared blankly at her. "I was thinking we could watch a movie or binge watch something off of Hulu."

"I guess that would be ok, but I'm getting you some food and drink. You'll sit your ass on the couch and stay there," she said sternly.

"Yes ma'am," Keith said with a mock salute.

They walked over to the living room and Keith sat on the couch. Jackie handed him the remotes for the TV and XBox.

"Would you like some water or a snack?" she asked.

"Bottle water from the fridge would be nice," he replied.

Jackie got a bottle water for herself and Keith, opening both bottles and handing Keith his.

"Thank you," he said accepting the water bottle. He took a sip before placing the bottle on the coffee table as Jackie kept hers in her hand. He browsed the options on Hulu and settled on starting the series Firefly. They watched the first two episodes and Jackie was impressed.

"I can see why this show has a following," Jackie said. When Keith didn't respond she looked over to see his head was leaned off to the side and his eyes closed. She shook him gently to wake up.

"Let me sleep," Keith mumbled.

"You've slept enough for one day."

"Not with how I feel."

She shook him again but this time shaking him on his side and he winced in pain. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Jackie pressed against his side again but a little harder. Keith again winced. "Why does it hurt when I push you there?"

"It's nothing," Keith said lying. Jackie didn't believe him as she lifted his shirt up, but saw no bruises. "You see, there is nothing wrong with me." He winced again as she pushed even harder into his side.

"Tell me the truth," she demanded.

"I am telling the truth."

"Look at me in the eyes Keith." He didn't turn his face to look at her. "Look at me and tell me the god damn truth." Still he didn't look at her. "Keith, why are you being so distant? There is nothing to forgive with Lauren because you were setup."

"I know," he said still not looking at her.

"Is this about the knife on the floor that Stacy and I found?"

"No."

"Then what else is there? What are you not telling me?" Jackie asked as she began to cry. The week had already been hell on her emotionally and mentally. Finding out Keith didn't cheat on her was a relief, but finding him on the floor of his apartment with alcohol poisoning scared the shit out of her. Just when everything seemed to be going back to normal, Keith started becoming distant from her.

The truth of that night is what Keith didn't want her to know. While she knew about him drinking himself into alcohol poisoning and his failed attempt at using a knife to end his life, she didn't know there was a progression to that. It all started with the first slap to himself on his face. His depression and hatred for himself only got worse as he started hitting himself in the side multiple times. Even though he didn't always make direct contact in his drunken state, he would always make sure to use a lot of force and after a while his sides started to hurt.

The pain was starting to get to him and he just wanted everything to end. He didn't remember getting up to get the knife but he remembered wanting to go and get it. It was bad enough that his mind was reliving that night all on its own. He didn't need Jackie to know that he still felt guilty about that night, that he was depressed enough to drink himself into alcohol poisoning and that he was hitting himself.

"I don't want to talk about it," Keith said hoping she would drop it. She didn't.

"Keith, I don't want there to be secrets between us."

"I know Jackie but," Keith took a deep breath, "I just don't want you to know how bad it was for me."

Jackie lay her head on Keith's shoulder. "Ok."

Keith turned to look at her. "Ok?"

Jackie nodded her head against his shoulder. "I want you to tell me if and when you're ready. We've both been through a lot recently. We both need time I guess."

Keith wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Maybe I do," she said as a small smile formed on her face. "After all this time with you, I've learned it is not a good idea to push you into talking about something you're not ready to talk about."

Keith gave her a longer kiss on the top of her head. "How did I get so lucky to have you as my girlfriend?"

"Because you're an amazing guy who deserves just as an amazing woman to love you for everything you are."

********************************************

Stacy checked the time on her phone again. She didn't know who else to tell the information, but she was sure she could trust who she was meeting. While they had only known each other a few days, she felt like she could trust the person. They weren't late yet but that is not what was making her nervous.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting," Jackie said as she approached the table.

"You didn't keep me waiting," Stacy said as she stood up and gave Jackie a hug. "I'm just always very early so I make myself wait."

They sat at the table and their waitress stopped by asking what they wanted to drink. They gave her their drinks orders and she left them to talk.

"How have you been?" Jackie asked. "It's been a couple of weeks since everything happened."

"Yes it has," Stacy admitted. "I've been pretty good. Work as a nurse keeps me busy and tired but I love it."

"That's good."

"How have you and Keith been?"

"We're doing ok." Jackie noticed the concerned look on Stacy's face as she said that. "It is just taking some time for him to recover mentally from that night. I know there is more to what happened than what we know, but I want him to tell me when he is ready."

Stacy smiled. "That is something I wish I knew back in high school."

They continued to make small talk, sharing stories about Keith, and getting to know each other. No one would have known that they had only met once before by the way they got along with each other. They just looked like two friends catching up together after not seeing each other for a long time.

"So why did you ask to meet up?" Jackie asked, feeling she needed to get to the heart of that matter.

"Well," Stacy began, "how have things been with Keith and his best friend that lives next door to him?"

"Good. They act as if what happened two weeks ago never happened. We haven't seen Andy around though lately. He always seems to be busy doing something when he is not working at the Brownstead."

"I may know why that is," Stacy said as a big smile formed across her face.

Jackie's jaw dropped as she saw the smile get bigger and bigger on Stacy's face. "Wait, have you two?"

"We've been seeing each other ever since he took me to get my car. We just seemed to click and he asked me out before I could even get out of the car."

Jackie was very happy for her and Andy. While Keith was the primary victim of Jillian's plan, Andy was put through a lot as well. "So you asked me to meet you to ask how Keith will handle this news."

"Yes," Stacy admitted. "I don't know how he will react."

"He was actually thinking that you and Andy would make a good couple and you would have the benefit of already knowing most of Keith's quirks."

"He said that?" Stacy asked not believing it.

"Ok maybe I was the one who brought it up, but he said that would actually make him happy for Andy and you. He knows if things go wrong between you and Andy, you two can handle it like adults."

Stacy took a deep breath. "That is a relief to hear. I was hoping he would be ok with it."

"Give him a call and tell him," Jackie suggested.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I know my boyfriend and this is something he will want to know, sooner than later."

Stacy pulled her phone out of pocket and called Keith. After a few rings he answered.

"Hey Stacy."

"Hey Keith."

"Did Jackie meet up with you?"

"Yes, she's here with me and we've been having a great time."

"That's good. I got Andy here with me watching an NBA game. It has been a long time since he and I got to hang out."

"Well, I may know the reason why that is," Stacy said with a grin and Jackie looked at her, also grinning.

"Really? Why would you know?" Keith asked, confused by her statement.

"Because he and I have been seeing each other." When Keith didn't say anything she became concerned. "Are you still there?"

"Yes I am," Keith said appearing to be calm. "I'm just giving Andy a dirty look because he didn't tell me that MY BEST FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND CURRENT BEST FRIEND ARE SEEING EACH OTHER," he yelled in fake anger.

Stacy laughed as Keith yelled in his fake angry voice. "I'm glad you are taking the news well."

"Oh, don't think I'm going to forgive you that easily. You know me better than that to hide something like this."

"I think you will forgive me because you love me as a friend and you wouldn't want to make Jackie upset now would you?" Stacy teased.

Keith let out a small sigh. "You are proving to be just as much trouble as you were in high school."

"You don't know what kind of trouble," Andy said in the background.

"I don't need to know what you two are doing in the bedroom," Keith said.

"Who said I was sleeping with Andy?" Stacy asked trying to defend herself.

"Really?" Keith said knowing her all too well. "I know you better than that and the smile on Andy's face is telling me everything I don't want to know."

"Tell Andy he needs to work on his poker face," Stacy said.

"I won't. I like taking his money in poker."

"Well I'm glad you're taking the news well."

"Of course. I want Andy to be happy and I know you two will treat each other well."

"Thank you Keith. That is very sweet of you to say."

"You're welcome. Now go back to enjoying your time with Jackie. I'm sure you've already told her stories I wish never to be repeated again."

"Would I do such a thing?" Stacy said feigning innocence.

"Again because I know you and you've already shared stories with my family way back when. Plus I know you were never very innocent to begin with."

"You got that right," Andy said in the background.

***************************************************

"I told you the fish was going to stick," Keith scolded Jackie as she lifted the lid of the George Foreman grill.

Half the cod was sticking to the top grill plate and what was left didn't look like it was going to come off easily. "I thought I sprayed enough Pam to that it wouldn't stick."

"There is not enough Pam in the world to make fish not stick with the ole grill. I've had it for years and I'm sure it is nearing the end of its life."

"Well what are we going to do for dinner then?" Jackie asked feeling like she ruined their night in.

"I might have had a backup plan ready just in case this happened," Keith admitted.

"Backup plan?" Jackie said not pleased hearing that.

"I have some wings in the freezer we can make. Just have to heat the oven, put them in for twenty-five minutes and they are ready to eat."

"That is pretty light dinner."

"We can scrape off some of the cod and eat that while we wait," Keith suggested. "We don't have to worry about them not being cooked."

"I guess," Jackie said feeling horrible.

Keith noticed how sad Jackie looked and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "It's ok sweetie. I still love you."

"I love you too," she said in a melancholy tone.

"What's wrong?"

"I just wanted this to be a nice evening and cook something for you."

Keith turned his girlfriend around so she could face him. Jackie just looked down, but he lifted her chin up and gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

"I greatly appreciate everything you are trying to do. Yes dinner didn't go exactly as planned, but that is life. We just have to adjust and adapt."