All Comments on 'Isn't It Ironic'

Unoriginal, uninteresting and overall quite uninspiring. As a first story it doesn't bode well for anything to follow. I guess a few BTB neanderthals will enjoy, but really the only saving grace was the fact that it was very short.

How is mineral water ironic? It's neither alcohol or a illegal drug

Always be prepared and please pay better attention to your stupid cunt of a wife, great work

Why did he wait six months?

piss poor story line. Wife has coke in her car and the police show up without a warrant. Not useable in court. Smacks of a set up. No background on this short brief story. That doesn’t work

This dickhead waited 6 months after getting evidence his slut wife was cheating! Why? Then, all FOUR of her playmates... I only counted three: Boss, then the two guys. The devil is in the details.

Not bad, needed more depth

Very nice for your first story, please go on!

I really don't want to discourage a new author, so there's not a lot I can say here. Not many stars.

Why is it ironic that she had a bottle of mineral water and that she didn’t tolerate drugs or alcohol? Why was that part in quotations?

What company has a “morality clause”? She’s an adult and companies don’t like to dictate who or what consenting adults do unless it’s on company time.

Why would she be upset that her husband had an affair when she was already having one?

Why would she lose access to her son? What vials are you talking about? Why would they be charged with intent to distribute?

What in the absolute fuck are you talking about? Crappy PI’s? It’s like you couldn’t even be bothered to tell us who or what is going on or why it matters? Why didn’t she just claim spousal abuse, get a restraining order, tell the cops he’s a rapist and have removed from the home then prevent his son from seeing him, meanwhile she gets alimony AND child support and the house that he pays for and kets the courts fuck jim in the ass?

Your story makes no fucking sense.

Good little first story. Thanks for posting.

You really need to proofread your stories.

Pretty good, but short, little tale. Isn’t it odd how the cheater is always so quick to accuse their partner and usually with seriously righteous indignation. My guess is they’re looking for some sort of excuse for their own actions.

You dropped a few words (something I struggle with with I write), but pretty well written. Hope you’ll write again.

Well done short story!

Thank you & Please keep writing!!

You lost it at the ridiculous alienation of affection lawsuits. Not really a thing anymore and hasn't been for a while, pretty much everywhere. Almost all states have abolished these types of cases, but seven states still allow homewrecker lawsuits; Hawaii, Illinois, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah. Even there, they usually go nowhere, or get dismissed with only the lawyers making anything from the billabe hours. Other than that, he's a fucking idiot for waiting 7 months to cut her loose.

Boom!

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4 ****

Rule of thumb when writing dialogue: when the character speaking changes, start a new paragraph. Do NOT writing conversations as one paragraph.

Nicely done.

I always like a story where the cheater destroys herself with just a little help from her victim. Good job.

So he's leaving and she'll be arrested for drugs. How old is the son? This story needs at least some details.

Good short story

Irony with a huge dose of hyperbole. In this case, it worked like a well-oiled machine.

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A word of advice. Break up the larger paragraphs. The human mind gets bogged down, especially when there are dialogue changes inside those bigger blocks. Great writing style, though. 5/5!

Excellent first story! Keep them coming. ***** stars.

Needs a reread by the author and editing to clean it up.

Good story but needed more context, especially why he waited 7 months!

Just gotta drop you a nod. i don't like these short stories but you pulled it off. 5 stars

If the little wimpy cuck Karnevil hated it you know you did good.

That was great! Finally a new author who can write a story. Nothing better than an indignant, cheating wife getting her threats shoved down her throat. My PI is better than your PI is a great line.

dumb....just....dumb......

Nice story... although: is it really HIS son?

In any case, thanks for the share.

Damn good opener.

six months?

Sorry this story has been done many times before and better.

Your writing structure is way off, clearing that up would be a major step.

Secondly ignore everything you've read here and if not, do something different to make it your own. YOu didnt do that this time.

Also this ""Your company will be served tomorrow for failure to enforce your corporates morality clause in their bylaws." is a common fallacy amongst the brain trust here. I spent years in a corporate HQ and the folks at the top never gave a damn about morals. Management at the top didnt give a shit if a married Executive was banging a married Secretary, even when they took them on business trips exclusively as a bed warmer, but if anyone spread rumors that got too loud the secretary would be let go with a nice severance package.

Great job for such a short story....keep writing!

5* Thanx!

Loklie

A fine first effort. Will look forward to reading more of your work.

I look forward to more from you

Great first entry. 5 stars!

Damn, a new writer who isn't flooding this place with sorry assed cucky fantasies.

Kudos...

Good story, although I don’t understand why he waited six months to dump her. That’s a long time to stay calm and keep it to himself.

One of the best, and funniest shorts I've read in a long, long time. Well done! 5*

Techicnically. Alienation of affection is called criminal conversation and it is a tort and redress can be sought it court for damage to a marriage. I also worked for companies in the past that had old school presidents that disallowed fraternizing and moral turpitude. This qualifies and its FICTION. Suspension of disbelieve is not necessary, but it helps enjoy the story. If you want documentary, go elsewhere

The only challenge I might offer is to the finding of drugs in her car in their garage. It might allow the police to seize the car and the garage as part of the drug confiscation process and possibly obtain a search warrant to the rest of the house where she might have drugs hidden and then the house is gone as well.

I love irony!

5

All ifs and buts are not important to me. You told a nice little story very well and completely satisfied the BTB lovers. Thanks for that! 5*!!!

Ultimate BTB's. Well done.

Good story, but you need to start a new paragraph when the person speaking changes.

Brilliantly executed short

A good start.

The plot was no nonsense,

but lacked 'character'.

4 out of 5 from me.

Excellent first attempt!

You should keep writing

So, the guy lives with her for 7 months after finding out her daliances... I have to wonder what type of man would live with a slut, druggie, and whore for 7 months knowing what his wife is... was he having sex with her, also?... no, sympathy for him at all... no background or buildup... just the facts mam story ain't gonna get it... unless this is all you got, get another hobby... 2-stars and a streeeetch at that.

From wiki :

"As of 2016, alienation of affection was recognized in six United States jurisdictions: Hawaii, North Carolina, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah. The U.S. Supreme Court has declined to consider the constitutionality of such torts, suggesting that these torts are unconstitutional under the United States Constitution and relevant modern precedents decided based upon it."

A good first story, although I can't get my head around the fact that it took him 7 months, maybe some background and a bit more detail might help; regarding anonymous getting his facts from wiki, this is FICTION, look it up on wiki, or get an adult to do it for you; to the author, keep it up looking forward to your next posting

I agree! 7 months is too long. I thought he needed the time to gather evidence and prepare for the denouement. I probably overestimated prep time, for that I apologize.

As long as he didn't fuck her for 7 months. Not bad for a first shot. The Bear approves. 6 stars, 'cause I can't count. It could have used a little bit more bloodshed on the asswipes, but that's O.K The money, embarrassment, and social stigma will suffice. Keep up the good work.

The BEAR

Like I said about your other story, an A+ for effort. You definitely need some proofreaders to point out obvious missed words and such but also to give you suggestions. 7 months was way too long and the mineral water was not irony. You have great potential as one of the better writers on this site. Keep it up!

Having just read your second story I looked for additional stories and found you had written only these two. Well as one reader stated and I agree, you need to develop your initial beginning with more info such as why it took 7 months before action was taken. Good stories ,both of them otherwise.

Wifey had four playmates? Who was number 4?

Unless Allan and Allen are two different guys (and the story itself indicates that Allan is just another error), this is too basic a mistake to reasonably be made in a story this short. 2-stars

4 Star. I like revenge stories that end well, she got her TITS TATTED.

The irony wasn't mineral water, the irony was that wife said "You'll never see your son again!"

And, in truth, with her jail sentence for possession of drugs, she is likely to be the one "never seeing her son again.

That was the irony,

I read both stories and have to agree you need more flushing and background to get the readers into the swing of the story - you rush to end.

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Also you have some serious grammatical errors that a simple READ IT OUT LOUD would have popped out to you. You need serious proof reading so WAIT a week before proofing - get the story out of your mind, read it fresh, then most errors will come to light. I have mild dyslexia and that is how I must do it but I space out each read by 2weeks each edit. I write under a different pen-name.

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I like your story but miss the confirmation of all revenge(s). BTB?

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4.5*****, Hooyah, many Salutes, you need editing/proofing help

This is not a story. There are no characters, no plot. This is just a poorly imagined list of consequences of an obviously fictional infidelity.

Hilarious so bad, l gave it 4/5 for being soooo bad

Short and sweet but this story has been told many, many times…….

Good short story. Good first effort. Nice BTB

Brief but good.

Thanks

Very tidy for a short one.

You have no standing to sue the company, unless you own the company or some portion thereof. They don't work for you so cannot be held accountable to you. They aren't your marriage's manager. YOU are. You lost control of the mare. Just that simple...Move on.

Intentional infliction of emotional distress. Believe that should cover everyone involved.

Each of the wife's lovers.

The company for failure to enforce their policies. With that many involved in the company. Management knew.

Just for chuckles, the soon to be ex-wife.

Quite sure that a rabid attorney could come up with more.