It Didn't Work Out Ch. 11

Kate's gaze softened a little. "Hey," she said. "I don't hate you, Bridget."

They were the right words for Bridget to hear. She remembered telling Sian to ask Kate not to hate her. How Kate felt about her was important to Bridget. Not only was she Sian's best friend, but Bridget admired her. She was comfortable with who she was and in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman. There was a lot about Kate that Bridget envied.

"I haven't gotten anything yet. What can I get you when I go up?" Kate asked. Bridget tried to insist that she would get it herself but Kate insisted.

When Kate got back, they both sipped on their drinks without talking. Before it went on too long, Kate broke the silence. "You wanted to talk, Bridget. What did you need?"

"I just wanted to let you know what had been going on with me and ask your advice. A lot has happened since I last saw you," Bridget began. She tried to gauge Kate's reaction but she was hard to read. "For one thing, I'm divorced now. I'm going by my maiden name, Bridget Fontaine. It was hard on Don to start but he is doing better. We're friends still, which makes me happy. I hurt him too. No matter how we got there, I hurt two people that I love.

"After Sian told me she couldn't see me anymore, I went into therapy. It was good and helped me see things clearer about myself. I came out last month to my parents," Bridget said. There was a look of unhappiness that passed over Bridget's face. It was enough to break Kate's resolve. She reached out and gave Bridget's hand a gentle squeeze before withdrawing her hand.

"That's never easy," Kate said. "How did it go?"

"With my mom, it was about what I expected. But my dad surprised me. It wasn't that I thought he would get mad and disown me like her, but I didn't expect him to tell me that all that really mattered was whether I was happy. He actually defied her, which I don't think I have ever seen."

"People surprise you, both ways," Kate said. Her voice was thoughtful as if she was remembering things that had happened to her.

"Kate, once I really figured out that this was truly who I am, I told Don and filed for divorce a few days later. I moved out and actually have an apartment not too far from here. I wanted to get my new life in order and start living it," Bridget paused for a moment to take a deep breath. It helped her to keep her courage up and continue. "I wanted to do that before I talked to you. I didn't try contacting Sian while I still was working through things. I didn't want her to go through any of my problems, especially when I was still making sure. But I'm sure now. This is who I am."

Although Kate looked sympathetic now, her deeper reaction was harder to read. Bridget couldn't tell what she was thinking. She didn't help Bridget by staying silent.

"As much as I have thought about Sian, I haven't asked anyone how she is doing. I haven't wanted to intrude on her life. At the same time, I haven't been able to let go either," Bridget said in a sad voice. "I'm almost happy with my life, but there is still something, someone, missing." Feeling the tears start to come back, Bridget swore under her breath and tried to hold them back. "Sorry," she told Kate. "But the thing is I don't know what is going on with her. It's been a long time. A big part of me hopes that she has been able to let go where I haven't. I want her to be happy so even if she has moved on, I would rather know she is happy and try to forget her.

"And I didn't want to get in touch with her and maybe damage that happiness that she was finding. If she found someone else, she doesn't deserve me stirring up feelings that should just be left alone," Bridget said as she felt one tear escape and trickle down her cheek.

"So you see, I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her anymore and I am afraid that is what I would do. That's why I wanted to see you. You know her better than anyone. You know how she is really doing, whatever front she may put up. I trust you to know what is right for her. If you tell me she is happy, I'll walk away and let her enjoy that." Bridget stopped talking. She wiped the tear off her cheek as she waited for Kate to say something.

For a few moments, Kate seemed to be looking off into space over Bridget's shoulder. It seemed to Bridget that she was thinking and weighing what Bridget had said. Even when she firmly nodded to herself, Kate didn't say anything. But now her attention shifted to Bridget's face. Again, Bridget felt like she was being judged. It was impossible to guess what judgment Kate was making about her.

Suddenly Bridget felt the presence of someone behind her. At that same moment, Kate finally spoke. Looking up over Bridget's shoulder, Kate said, "I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Sian. Sian, this is Bridget Fontaine." Kate put a very heavy emphasis on Bridget's new last name. "I think you might like each other."

Bridget turned around to see Sian there. As soon as she saw Sian, Bridget's heart tightened. It was good to see her, but it was clear that Sian had not been doing well. Her body was thinner than before and she looked like she wasn't getting enough rest. Still there was a smile on her face as she looked at Bridget. Sian pulled up a chair and sat down. Bridget wanted to reach out and take Sian's hand but she was afraid to. Glancing over at Kate, she gave her a sharp look.

"I'm sorry, Bridget. I know you asked me to not say anything to Sian but I never agreed. I just said I would think about it. And knowing Sian, and knowing how she has been since it ended between you, I couldn't do that. I told Sian to come here and if it was good news, I would let her know. If it wasn't then you would never have seen her. I hoped either way, it would help her," Sian told Bridget.

After finishing, Kate got up from the table. "And now, I think I will make myself scarce." She moved around the table and bent over to give Bridget a big hug.

Bridget returned it and whispered into Kate's ear. "Thank you so much, Kate."

"I'm glad that things are working out for you. And I am glad that you are back with us. I'm pretty sure I'm safe in saying that," Kate said with a smile. As she turned to leave, Sian mouthed a thank you of her own to Kate. She smiled and wave at the two of them before heading out the door.

Even though she had a smile on her face, Sian also seemed reluctant to touch Bridget. "Hey Bridge," she said, speaking for the first time.

This time Bridget didn't try to stop the tears. They were happy tears and she hadn't cried like that in a while. "Hi Sian," Bridget said quietly.

"How have you been?"

"I've been doing okay. It's been up and down, more up recently though. How about you?" Bridget asked Sian.

"Okay." Her one word answer spoke volumes.

Bridget understood. Sian had been surviving. For a long time, Bridget had been there too. Now things were much better, even before seeing Sian. Tentatively reaching out, Bridget took Sian's hand. There was almost no delay before she felt the answering pressure from Sian's fingers.

"Bridget Fontaine?" Sian asked.

"It's my maiden name. I'm divorced, legally as of last week. I didn't want to keep using Don's name," Bridget said. As she continued, her voice was steady. "I have to be me."

"That must have hit Don hard," Sian said. Even with everything that had happened. Sian couldn't help liking Don.

"It did, but he's better now. We are getting along pretty good. He's accepting that I am never going to be with him and even starting to move on," Bridget said.

"What happened? I mean why did you end it?" Sian asked.

"I'm a lesbian, Sian. It was pretty simple once I accepted myself," Bridget said quietly. "I wasn't going to be happy and neither was he, really. So I ended it."

Sian's voice almost broke Bridget's heart when she spoke again. "So you didn't end it because you love me?"

Bridget squeezed Sian's hand tight. "Sian, I do love you. That hasn't stopped. But no, I didn't. I didn't want to be married to him because it was living a lie. I needed to stop that. I needed to accept myself, even if you weren't going to be in it." She paused a moment and looked Sian in the eyes. "I don't want you to ever feel responsible for what happened between me and Don. You said he was an idiot. He was and he agrees, but it was because by encouraging me to explore he reopened a part of me that I had buried; the real part of me. I decided I couldn't hide it away again.

"It's part of why I haven't talked to you. Until I was fully accepting of who I am, I wasn't worthy of you. I didn't want there to be a chance that I would change my mind. But the bigger part was I hurt you so much, my darling Sian. If you found happiness, I didn't want to damage that. So I stayed away. I'm sorry. It was hard but it seemed the right thing," Bridget said. "The last thing I wanted to do before talking with Kate, I did last week. I came out to my parents."

"Oh Baby, that must have been so hard. I wish I could have been there with you," Sian said wistfully.

For the first time since arriving, Bridget laughed. "My darling Sian, I think my mother would have had a heart attack. It was bad enough for me to tell her I'm a lesbian." Bridget dropped her voice sotto voce to say "I'm condemned to hell, you know." When she spoke again, her voice was clear and firm. "What surprised me was that Daddy stood up to Mom. And he told me all that matters was whether or not I am happy."

Sian loved the happy and proud smile Bridget wore. She reached over and hugged Bridget tight. It felt so good to have Bridget's arms go around her and hold her tight. "I missed you, Baby," she told Bridget.

"Just like I missed you. Please believe me. I just wanted you to know that there was nothing holding me back," Bridget said. "I didn't want you to have any doubts. I didn't want to have any doubts that I meant it either." Pulling back a little, Bridget looked at Sian. "My darling Sian, I'm not lesbian because of you. I'm just a lesbian. Even if you didn't want me, I would still be a lesbian. I know that now." The serious expression on her face was replaced by a shy smile. "But I am glad you seem to want me," she added.

Sian hugged Bridget again. Her face was a little more serious when it ended. "I tried to get over you, Bridget. I didn't think I would get another chance, so I knew I needed to do that. I just haven't been able to. I mean, I have been doing better recently but the first few months were pretty rough."

"I can guess. They were for me too. I had to see someone," Bridget said as she stroked Sian's face. "It took me a while to understand why I was so sad. Part of it was losing you, but the other part was realizing that I couldn't go back to the life I had with Don. I tried to make that work but it just couldn't."

Bridget leaned forward and gave Sian a little kiss. Her heart fluttered as she felt Sian lightly return it. "And once I knew I was going to stop living a lie, I needed to be fully committed before I saw you. I want you to know that I am completely in now. There is no holding back."

Sian looked at Bridget. She had forgotten how happy she was when they were together. The dark days of the last few months had obscured those memories. But now that she was with Bridget, Sian remembered just how good it had been. Even though she could still remember the hurt, Sian couldn't blame Bridget and hadn't since their breakup. Sian made the choice to go into the relationship knowing what it was, just as she made the choice to end it when it wasn't enough.

"God, I've missed you," Sian said again.

"Can you forgive me for the pain I put you through, Sian?" Bridget wanted to know. She ran her fingers along Sian's tired looking face and looked at her thin body. "You look don't look well, Sian."

Sian looked away. She didn't really want to talk about it. She had lost her appetite for a long time. Given her active lifestyle, she hadn't been eating enough. She didn't have much fat on her body to begin with so it didn't take too long before she was losing muscle mass. It took Kate stepping in to get her to see it. Even then Kate felt like she had to check on her almost daily for a couple months. She had finally stopped last month.

"I'm okay. Don't worry, Baby. I have been doing fine lately," Sian said. "And much better now!" The worried look on Bridget's face didn't go completely away but it lessened.

Lifting up her cup, Bridget swirled it around a little. "I'm done," she said. Sounding nervous, she continued. "I live in this neighborhood now. Would you like to see my place?"

Sian laughed a little. After everything, the idea of Bridget living in the center of the gay district was funny. She had certainly changed. Even the way she dressed and did herself up was different. She was still gorgeous and dressed very nice, but now it was just a little toned down and more natural. Sian liked it. "I would love to see your place, Bridge," Sian told her.

When they stood up, both of them hovered next to each other without touching. They started walking to the door and Bridget reached hesitantly over and took Sian's hand. She smiled as she felt Sian tighten her fingers. It wasn't quite the same as before. They weren't used to being with each other again, but it felt very good.

As they walked, they filled each other in on what had happened in the last five months. Both of them mostly stayed away from talking about the pain, but they didn't ignore it either. Since more things had happened with Bridget, she talked a little more than Sian. It didn't take them long to get to the building where Bridget lived.

When Sian entered Bridget's apartment she could immediately see some of the things from her old house. At the same time, there was a different personality that the rooms gave off. It was a little freer than the ordered feeling Sian was used to with Bridget. Maybe that was more Don than her, she thought. She saw some of the same pieces of art on the wall but they were joined with some newer pieces. Sian recognized them as having been done by a young lesbian artist who was starting to get a little notice.

"I like it, Bridge," Sian said with a smile. She gave Bridget a teasing look. "It looks like a young dyke's first apartment."

Bridget replied with a straight face. "Well it's my first apartment as a young dyke so I guess I got the look I was going for!" She loved hearing the sound of Sian's laugh. Beyond the familiar feeling it brought, she instinctually knew that there hadn't been much laughter for Sian lately.

"Take a seat," she told Sian. Stepping into the kitchen, she poured a couple of glasses of wine and brought them out. Sian had taken a seat in an easy chair. After handing Sian her glass, Bridget sat down on the sofa. She picked the corner that was right next to Sian. They touched glasses. Bridget looked at Sian over the rim of her glass as she sipped her wine. Despite the feeling that they were picking up where they were before, Bridget was still nervous. How did they proceed?

Sian must have been feeling the same way and the silence went on as they drank their wine. Finally Sian broke it.

"So," was all she said.

"Yeah," Bridget replied. After a moment, she reached out and took Sian's hand. "I've dreamed of this moment but I still don't know what to do."

"I didn't dare dream it," Sian said very quietly. Bridget could barely hear her. She looked at Bridget. "There hasn't been anyone else. There were some women who wanted to date me, but I always said I wasn't ready. I just wanted you to know."

"Sian, since we split up I haven't made love with anyone; not even Don," Bridget said. "I just never could with him. I was depressed and didn't want to make love to anyone. And then I started to figure out who I really was, and I wanted to do it even less. And after I moved out, my end goal was to see if you and I had a chance." She looked at Sian. "Do we? Do we have a chance, my darling Sian?"

Rather than saying anything, Sian got up and sat down next to Bridget. She put her hand behind Bridget's head and pulled her into a long kiss. It started tentatively but soon built in passion. Bridget opened her mouth first, inviting Sian to explore Bridget's mouth with her tongue. As soon as Sian's tongue slid into Bridget's mouth, she was caressing it with her own tongue. Bridget's arms went around Sian and she pulled her body against Sian's.

Bridget's heart was beating so fast and hard that she thought for sure that Sian would be able to feel it through her chest. She could barely believe that Sian was holding her. Moaning into the kiss, Bridget's arms tightened. Her tongue swirled inside Sian's mouth, trying to find all the spots that had excited Sian before.

She needn't have worried. Sian's excitement was climbing. She pushed Bridget backwards into the couch. There was no resistance as Bridget lay down on it. Bracing herself with her arms, Sian hovered above Bridget's body. Looking down at her, Sian was struck again by how beautiful Bridget was. She was looking up at Sian with desire heavy in her eyes. The long wait for this to happen made it all the more special.

"You're just mine now," Sian softly told Bridget.

"Only yours," Bridget replied as she put her arms around Sian's neck and lifted herself up to give her another kiss. This time it didn't last long. Bridget's lips began to kiss down Sian's neck. She loved how it made Sian arch her back and hiss. She slowly undid the buttons of Sian's shirt, giving the exposed skin a kiss after each one.

"Oh God," Sian moaned. She couldn't help beginning to push down with her hips against Bridget's. She was so excited. When Bridget moved her hands down and stroked Sian's belly, Sian shuddered. Her shirt was hanging open, exposing her body to Bridget's kisses and caresses. She felt Bridget fumbling with the button to Sian's jeans. Once Bridget had them unzipped, she frantically pushed them down before pulling up her skirt.

With only their panties between their mounds now, Sian again pressed her hips into Bridget's. She could feel Bridget's wetness joining her own. Grinding down hard, their pussies slid against each other. Bridget pulled Sian's head down so that they could kiss again. This time it was not gentle or slow. It was hard kisses filled with the urgency they felt. Their lips bit at each other and their tongues thrust in and out. Sian put her hands under Bridget's ass to pull her up hard, making the pleasure grow for both of them.

"I love you Bridget," Sian panted in between kisses.

"Oh fuck, I can't believe it. I love you Sian!" Bridget moaned back.

Their hips were thrusting at each other faster. Although encased in their panties, both of their clits were swollen with excitement and each thrust brought them together. Bridget was rocking her hips up and down to meet each thrust from Sian. They were both moaning into their deep kisses. It wasn't taking much to bring them close. The joy from their reunion mixing with their desire was a powerful aphrodisiac.

"Oh Sian! Oh my Darling!" Bridget cried as she felt herself getting closer to slipping into an orgasm. Her sopping wet pussy felt so good as Sian ground against her. She could tell from the trembling in Sian that Sian wasn't far behind her. "Fuck me, Sian! Show me I'm yours!"

Sian's eyes were open as she watched the passion building in Bridget's face. It had been so long since they were together; she didn't want to miss a moment. Bridget's body began to shake and she was moaning Sian's name out again and again. Hearing Bridget cum was enough for Sian, her own orgasm burst out and she felt it overwhelm her. Thrashing on top of Bridget, her hips kept plunging down against Bridget.

"Ohhhhh!" Sian screamed. "I love you, Baby! I love you, Bridget!"

Bridget was shaking so hard that she felt like she might pass out. Her orgasm was intense with waves of blinding white lights flashing in her brain. Her arms were tightly wrapped around Sian, never wanting to let go of her. She kept moaning that she loved Sian.