All Comments on 'It’ll Never Happen Ch. 03'

This story is such an odd pastiche. The characters and their interactions are all obviously something from about forty years ago, but it throws in little oblique contemporary references (the Internet! volume control on the steering wheel!) to try to make it sound more recent. It’s a good story and well written, but might work better just as a period piece, especially since it’s more of a character study and not really plot driven.

I've been waiting for the latest chapter of your story to be posted. It reminds me a lot of my youth, so I not only get to read a really good story, but take a bit of a trip down memory lane too. Hopefully, I will see the next chapter soon....*hint hint*. Thanks for your efforts!

"James... three... opened the door". Love your work, but errors like this completely ruin the flow of the story.

I hope whoever posted the comment about this story being set in the past can see this

I’m 19. This is a story based off my life, not to a T, as it’s been made up to be more entertaining, but this is all recent. There are people who live like I grew up. With wood burners and old trucks. I got the 89 in 2016 when I turned 16. I’ve always loved to restore old trucks. So yes, there are elements that may seem like they’re in the past, but I can assure you, it’s all recent

This story was perfect.

You’re sittin there...you’re 19...writing this whole fricking thing... on this whole fricking literotica site...where (from what I’ve seen) the main demographic is over 45...yet you STILL got the powers to overcome school, life and whatnot to continue this story. Like I am actually amazed! You’re a GEN Z! LIKE ME!! THATS WEIRD!!! Keep writin tho

One picky thing-isn’t it February when they get together last chapter, and now it’s January of what otherwise feels like the same winter?

Great job on the dialogue and feelings—your “show don’t tell” game is strong.

Thanks!

It's a superb first story, well done, looking forward seeing how you develop it further.

And enjoying it

I haven't made it all the way through your chapters yet, but I like what I read so far. Ally and James are good together, and have a developing love story. During the stripping scene in this chapter, once she had gone so far as to strip off his shirt and pants, why not give James a bit of sexy hair for that hardened, muscular chest? He seems a mature young man made more masculine and muscular from his work on the farm. I just think a bit of sexy chest hair spread across the top of his chest, maybe showing a bit at the collar of his shirt, would be a very sexy sight!

Love this story so Fucking cute. You said you were a soldier so I do need to say America Salutes you and thank you for your service.

I'm digging the slow build and slow burn vibe. Getting a good story going is much like driving a diesel truck, once it's up to temp, sit back and enjoy the ride.

You asked for comments from people who have experienced THE BRIDGE, I was six when our family road trip took us across THE BRIDGE in 1959. That was also the first time I'd ever seen large ships underway.

Crossing THE bridge driving a semi is a totally different experience. The railings on the sides of the bridge disappear in the blindspot on the side of the rig, all you can see are the cables and the water, and the lanes feel VERY narrow, so no time to sightsee while 'threading the needle' to stay in the lane.

Love the story, but I always open the door and look down through the grate. Nothing like a convoy headed up to be short time Yoopers!!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I love Mackinaw Island. Road apples and great fudge!

Another great chapter!

5

As for the Mackinac Bridge I dreed driving over it ----- those grates really get to me and I feel very uncomfortable going over the grates - and no, I don't roll down the window and look down through the gates. I am not scared of heights but there is something about going over a high bridge that gets to me. I am a combat veteran so don't call me chicken. Also, about the bridge my memory tells me that you pay toll before getting on the bridge, not after going over it like you have in the story. My criticism is that you made a big deal out of saying you had an editor but I detected more problems with spelling-typos-and using the wrong work than in your previous stories. Plus there were some sentences that were just plain grammatically bad. Great story though. You should have gone into a lot more detail about the time they apparently were going to have sex. Still you got a 5 from me. Writing is generally good except for some word choices, spelling and bad sentence structure. I would encourage you to tone down the contractions which seem to be overused in places. It is very easy to use a word or in this case a contraction more times than one should. And the amount of action that takes place in winter is making me shiver. I used to love winter and skied a lot and snowshoed a lot and enjoyed being outside doing photography but in my old age I have come to detest winter - my body does not tolerate cold like it used to --- I really get cold reading about stuff taking place in winter and after finishing a story I look out the window expecting to see snow. And I did not used to be a snow wimp having lived in Vermont, Montana, Colorado and Oregon. All in all good story line and good characters and fun to read.

Really enjoyable.