It Only Took Twenty Years Pt. 06

Chapter 20: Saturday, October 21, 2016 (Morning)

Dawn stared at me, watching my expression. I don't know what she saw because I had no idea what I was feeling at that moment.

"A few months before the party, I had a miscarriage, Will."

I put a hand on her knee. I hadn't the foggiest notion of what to say. I sat up and crossed my legs. Our knees were barely inches from each other. Dawn was still gauging my body language, and I hers. She looked extraordinarily tense. She was acting very guarded.

She scoffed. "What, Will, no witty barb?"

There was ice in her voice. I suddenly felt like a hare being stared at by a coyote. I watched her eyes. They conveyed anger and I didn't know why. I felt my defenses rising but swallowed them down.

"No," I said as calmly as I could.

She stared coldly at me for several moments then broke. She burst into tears. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed in wracking breaths. I reached out and took her shoulders in my hands.

"Come here, Devo."

She crawled forward across my lap and into my arms. I held her close to me. I simply held her and stroked her back. I felt her tears on my neck and shoulder. Her chest shuddered as she tried to mute her cries. She was unable. She curled into a ball and sobbed.

"Jeez, sweetheart. I am so sorry," I whispered.

There was nothing I could do but hold her close and support her as she released what seemed like years of anxiety in streams of tears. I'd somehow stabbed my love between her shoulders. If I could have turned back time five minutes, I would have given my life to do so.

"Dawn, I didn't mean to push you. Please forgive me."

I was trying to understand. I had absolutely no idea. I didn't know she'd been pregnant. I didn't know she'd lost a baby. I had no common ground on which to stand. I had absolutely nothing to offer her. She said it'd been ages ago, but a bizarre pang of jealousy struck me. It took me several minutes to dismiss it, but I held her as she wept.

"God, Dawn. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Just hold me. I'm not angry with you. I'm sorry for snapping."

Her emotions gushed while I remained quiet, stroking her hair. When she was close to exhaustion, her crying eased. I held her body to mine, listening to her breathing begin to steady.

"Jeez, Will. I don't know where that came from."

"Something tells me that, as painful as it was, you needed to let it out."

"I guess I've been holding it in for a long time and you just happened to pull the pin. Now only four people in the world know what I just told you. I never even told my aunt or uncle. You're the first person I've told in more than fifteen years. The only others who ever knew were my friend, her doctor, and a bastard-ass, fuck-wad, cock-hat, heart-raping, chicken-shit, cum-stain of an asshole."

I didn't intend to, but I couldn't help but chortle at her expletive-ridden description of a certain someone. My reaction must have eased a little more of her tension because she chuckled. She uncurled herself and sat facing me in my lap, wrapping her legs around my lower back with her arms under mine. She rested her chin on my shoulder.

She sniffled loudly. I pulled away to get the box of tissues from the nightstand because her face was a mess. I folded a pair of tissues and wiped the drips from her nose and upper lip and used another to blot the tears from her eyelashes and cheeks. I gave her the box before drawing her close to me again. She was quiet for a few moments.

After a few minutes, she uncurled herself and sat back on the bed with her knees touching mine. She blew her nose.

"So … I got pregnant the August before Y2K. A guy I'd been dating for a few months, who I won't dignify by ever speaking his name, managed to woo me into his bed because he told me almost the exact same thing you said at the party."

"Dawn, I honestly don't remember talking to you that night."

"I know. Let me finish. When I missed my period, I peed on a stick, and it was positive. That day is way too easy to remember. I was watching the clock waiting for five minutes to go by. It was 6:18am on September 8, 1999 when I saw the blue plus sign."

She paused. "Is a positive pregnancy test a pass or a fail? It depends on one's state of mind, you know?

"After what he'd told me, my state of mind was that I'd passed. I was happy . My happiness outweighed the surprise. That night, I told him I was pregnant. He seemed all happy-happy, joy-joy, too.

"We never talked about getting hitched. I guess I'd just assumed he'd … well … I was stupid and naive.

"About two months later, I started cramping really bad during one of those boring peer review meetings we used to have. I went to the restroom and saw I was bleeding. I went home without saying a word to anyone.

"I had no idea what was going on. I called my former roommate. She was my best friend and a nurse at an OB-GYN practice. It turned out she had experienced the same thing the year before. Do you remember Sophie Evans?"

"You asked me to be your plus one at her wedding, but I couldn't because I had to go to Tokyo."

"I'd forgotten that. Anyway, my own gynecologist couldn't get me in, but Sophie finagled a favor and got me into her doctor's practice that evening. I would've been almost three months along, so when the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat, she told me I was miscarrying.

"I called dipshit that night. When I told him what was happening, he hung up on me and completely disappeared. I never saw or heard from him again. His apparent happiness was fucking fakery . I spent the next four days at home trying to find him while in the worst emotional and physical pain I'd ever experienced. The man I'd shared a bed with just up and disappeared. The shithead just simply … evaporated into the wind. His roommate told me two days later the jerk had packed up and stuck him with the rent.

"I slept on the couch starting that night. I couldn't stand being in my own bed anymore. That was just a few months before I bought this house. I needed to start over. So, yeah. Those were, by far, the worst months of my life."

"I definitely remember how you weren't yourself back then. I can't even begin to imagine what you went through."

"Yeah. It was pretty rough. My objective half knew it wasn't uncommon. Didn't make it easier emotionally. The doctor was compassionate. She probably thought it'd make me feel better when she told me I was young and perfectly healthy and could try to get pregnant again any time. She didn't know my pregnancy was unplanned in the first place. I remember thinking, 'Yeah, right.' As if I'd ever again trust a man to use a rubber correctly.

"Did you know miscarriages can cause postpartum depression?"

"No, but I suppose it makes sense," I answered.

"Sophie was so reassuring and comforting because she had gone through it. She let me cry on her shoulder for weeks. I have no freaking clue how I'd have managed if she wasn't there for me.

"Will, do you remember when we spent our first night together in Kentucky and I told you about an experience that left me with an emotional scar?"

I nodded.

"He was the first guy I let … um … do that. After what he did to me three months later, I couldn't even stomach the thought ever again."

I nodded as the light came on in my brain. I understood the man who'd abandoned her was douchebag number one, and douchebag number two was someone who didn't seek her consent. He was not at all a man and deserved her retribution.

Dawn continued. "William, I can't describe the sheer hatred I felt for him. All men. Any human with a Y chromosome was dead to me. That's where you come in, because what you said at that party made me sick to my stomach. I actually hated you for saying it.

"Listen to me, Will. I hope you know those feelings are long gone. Do you understand me? Do you believe me?"

"I do. I remember later how you started coming back out of your shell. It all kind of makes sense now," I said.

"Good. I overheard you talking about me to a couple of your friends. You didn't say it to me. You said it to them, but I overheard you. It sounded almost exactly like what that idiot said which … well⁠—"

"What'd I say?"

"You said, 'Dawn Vo is the kind of person I'd like to marry.'"

The memory flashed into my head. I suddenly remembered everything.

"You obviously had no idea I was nearby. When I heard what you said, it made me sick to my stomach. I was so nauseated that I ran to the bathroom and puked because, all of the sudden, the taste of that asshat was in my mouth. The experience a few months earlier came back as if it'd just happened.

"Will, I wasn't drunk that night. I hadn't been drinking at all. But when you asked me if I was okay, I lost control of myself. If it had been any other man asking, I might have just walked away, but it was you. I was confused. I was so messed up that a part of me felt like I'd betrayed you. My defenses just went nuts."

I only wanted to hold my love tighter. I pulled her into my lap where she'd been. "Dawn, please forgive me for hurting you."

"Shit , Will! You don't get it!"

"I guess not."

"I think I needed this cry, but I need you to forgive me ! You've always been one of my closest friends. You've never been anything but my ally! I'm so sorry for how I treated you back then. Even though I pushed you away, you stayed … near. You've always remained and have always been right next to me."

My mind clicked. Months of deliberation concluded as my brain reached the decision my heart already had. I debated for a number of minutes in my mind whether to speak up or wait, considering the heft of emotions in the room. Even though I wasn't properly prepared, I acted.

"Devo, before this turns into an apology war, I'll say I forgive you totally, completely, and irrevocably. I promise you this. I will never say what I said again. Ever ."

"Will, don't be upset with me," she said, stroking my face tenderly.

I nudged her off of my lap, then stood and walked to the side of the bed beside her. She turned to face me, watching me with visible concern in her eyes.

"Listen to me, Devo. I'm not upset with you at all. I will never say you're the kind of person I want to marry." I watched her intently.

I lowered myself to the floor and knelt to my knees. I extended my hands and took hers into them. Her expression changed to one of confusion.

"I won't say it, Dawn, because you are not only the kind of woman I want to marry. You are the woman I want to marry. Baby, you are, beyond compare, the love of my life. We've spent our entire adult lives near each other, and I want to spend the rest of mine with you no matter what.

"Vo Vinh Nhung, will you please, for the love of god , marry me?"

Her reaction was so physical and abrupt it startled me. She snapped her body upright and erect, quickly standing on the bed, her momentum causing her to bounce on the mattress. She stared down at me with wide eyes and screamed something in Vietnamese before punching the air over her head. Thankfully, her ceiling fan wasn't turned on. She kicked her legs outward and dropped to her butt on the bed with her legs astride my torso and pulled me into a tight embrace with all four of her limbs. I felt her start to cry again.

"Yes, Will. Yes !"

She kissed me hard. I could taste tears and other stuff on her lips.

"William Aaron Richards, you are the man created for me, my soulmate, my best friend, my lover, my life. Yes, I'll absolutely marry you. I was created for you . I've fantasized about hearing those words come out of your stubborn head for a long time . Yes, Will, yes. Holy crap yes!"

She squeezed me so tightly I felt both of my shoulders pop as the air was forced out of my lungs. My fiancée and I made slow love for over an hour before we exploded in gleeful, engaged bliss.

Chapter 21: October 21, 2016 (Late Morning)

"Best. Morning. Ever," she panted into my chest.

"Meh," I joked, which earned me a smack on my shoulder.

I laughed, causing her body to bounce on mine, so I held her tighter. "So. What do we do now?"

She chuckled. "It's still early. Let's get on the next flight to Vegas."

"I don't think our friends would appreciate it if we eloped. My parents would disown me. Especially my mom."

"Oh," was her brief reply.

"Oh?"

"Sorry, I don't want to poke the bear." She lifted her head and kissed my chest.

"What are you talking about?"

"A while back I asked you why you'd never married, and the question irked you a little."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. It's because what you said reminded me of my mother. Don't get me wrong. I love my mom to death. but she nags me constantly asking why I'm not married. She is relentless. She never lets it go, and it just gets under my skin. I would almost bet she thinks I'm a eunuch or in the closet or something."

"Count yourself lucky that you still have your parents. I never knew my father and have only the vaguest memories of my mom. My aunt and uncle are all I have, and they're getting up there in years."

It suddenly hit me. "Oh, crap."

"What, babe?"

"You told me that you've always thought of your uncle like a father, right?"

"Absolutely. Why?"

"Should I have asked his blessing before I did what I just did?"

"What, screw my brains out? Absolutely not! It'd probably kill him!"

"No!" I laughed. "Before I asked you to marry me."

"Jeez, Will, you are the most chivalrous gentleman I've ever known. I'm as American as apple pie. He's not. He's my former culture. Asking the father his blessing is a totally Western thing and he'd be clueless if you asked. It's not his decision, anyway. When I tell him I've found my soulmate and we're going to marry, it's up to him whether he accepts you or not. I hope he's happy, but frankly, it doesn't matter. You are going to be my husband. You're my choice. What about your parents?"

"I can't wait to introduce you to them."

"What will they think of their only son marrying an Asian woman?"

I turned to my side so I could raise myself up and look in her eyes. "I hope I've never given you a reason to worry about such a thing. Believe me. My sister Tracy's husband is a brown dude, and we all love him completely. Your origin won't matter one bit to any of them. All they'll care about is whether or not we are good for and cherish each other, and I think they'll see both when they meet you."

"So, what are you going to do?" she asked.

I thought for several minutes. "Do you have any plans this weekend you can't break?"

"No, why?"

"Let's get on the first flight we can find to St. Louis. I want the first time they even hear about you to be in person, and I kind of want to do it right now."

"You cannot be serious, Will. Are you suggesting we hop on a plane and pop in on your family so you can introduce to them, as your future wife, a woman you've only been dating for a few months? Just like that?"

I burst out in laughter because she didn't see it.

"What's so funny?" she demanded.

"Dawn, think about it. Yeah, we've been physical for a few months. But we've been dating for twenty years."

She continued staring at me for a few moments then fell over sideways and started laughing with me.

"Oh, my god! You're so right!" She embraced me in a kiss. "So, you're serious?"

"Why not?" I excitedly asked.

She sat up, watching my face. I wagged my eyebrows.

"It kinda scares the crap out of me, but, sure. Let's go," she answered with a broad smile.

"Yay! See if you can find us a flight. We can come back tomorrow evening. I need to make a call."

I scurried into my clothes and Dawn put on her robe. I grabbed my phone and dialed my parents' home. My mother answered.

"Hello?"

"Heya, Mom, it's me."

"Hi, kiddo! What's new?"

"Are you and Dad busy this weekend?"

"We have nothing planned, why?"

"I thought I might fly up there tonight and see everyone, if that's okay with you. I haven't seen y'all in almost two years."

"We'd love to see you, Son, but … is there something wrong? It's not like you to be impulsive."

"No, quite the contrary. Life is beyond fantastic right now. That's part of the reason I'd like to come see y'all." I thought for a moment, then asked, "What's Dad doing right now?"

"He's out on the back porch smoking a cigar and cataloging birds. You want to talk to him?"

I chuckled at my dad's odd choice of retirement hobbies. "Yeah, that'd be great. I've got something I want to ask him."

It took her just a few seconds to give him the phone. I heard her say in the background, "Ted, it's Will."

"Hey, Son, what's the good word?"

"Dad, don't panic, but I need you to listen to me very carefully. Do not let Mom overhear, do not react, and do not spill what I'm about to say. You are absolutely the first person in the world to hear this news, and if you ruin it, Dad, I'm going to key your truck and slash its tires. Spare, too. Are you following?"

My father was the ultimate in trustworthy, and he could pull off a ruse better than anyone I knew. I simply wanted to reinforce, as quickly as I could, the nature of the plan I needed him to foment.

"Yes, I think I kept it. Hold on, let me go see if it's still in the glove box."

"What's he needing?" I heard Mom ask him.

"He wants some information from the sticker of my truck. I think he's shopping for an SUV," Dad answered.

I heard the garage door opener doing its thing, the car door opening, then closing. He started the engine. I heard the seatbelt warning chiming.

"I'm sitting in my truck staring at the window sticker. What's going on? Your mother is watching me from the door."

"I've got some news," I said.

Dawn tapped me on the shoulder and gave me two quick thumbs up. She'd found some flights.

"I'm going to be flying up there tonight to see y'all."

"That's your news? That's great to hear, but you got me squirreled away in a running vehicle to keep your mom from hearing that?" he asked calmly.

"No, Dad. She already knows that part."

"Then what is it, Son?"

"She doesn't know I'm bringing my fiancée to meet y'all."

The line was silent for a few moments.

"You're kidding, right? That kind of news is going to knock her over, and you're killing me not letting me react."

Dawn tapped me again.

"Be strong, Dad. Hold on just a sec."

I muted my phone and gave Dawn my attention.

"We have to hurry," she said energetically. "I mean hurry . There's a Southwest flight which leaves in three hours. We'll land at Lambert at 5:30."

"Perfect! Book it."

I unmuted. "Dad, no, I'm not kidding. We just decided spur-of-the-moment to come up there so I can introduce her to y'all. I don't have a lot of time. We will be at Lambert at 5:30 this evening. I want to take the whole family to a nice dinner to share the news. Sara, Tracy, and Mark, too. Get us a seven o'clock reservation wherever you want."

"Okay, I can do that. Any particular thing in mind?"

"No, it's up to you. But remember, it's a special occasion, Dad, and it's my treat, so don't be cheap. Just nowhere formal. Sunday clothes sort of thing, okay?"

I heard the engine shut off and the previous procedure done in reverse.

"Okay, just remember that my SUV was totally redesigned last year, so it might not be the best comparison."

"Boys and their toys," I heard my mother say in the background.