All Comments on 'It’s Only Dinner - A TRANSformation Pt. 01'
by SandyBottoms1855
- 7 Comments
BJGoodheadabout 3 years agoNow to tell us how the romance evolves over the next few months up to the wedding.
Like a runaway freight train? Or by one small mistake after another?
Keep writing, 5 stars.
Boytitsabout 3 years agoI know some of those conflicting feelings you made it feel real ,nice writing looking for part 2 ! All*5* on this one.
Anonymousover 2 years agoHad to come and acquaint myself with your story; I just read part three.
Good outline for the basis of the story and characters. No superfluous details to muddle the waters.
Did have some confusion with the bread in the kitchen. Might that have been a bird? The bread was quickly followed with a drumstick reference.
You do need to watch your punctuation. Short sentences usually need none. Longer sentences require punctuation when the tone or focus changes. You had one, which I am not going to retreat and locate, that had a comma when not required. Just a little off-putting.
This puts me more in line with part three, which I quite liked
SandyBottoms1855@SandyBottoms1855
