It was Always You

It was my 30th birthday weekend, but I didn't really feel like having a big celebration. I was planning on staying home and watching a movie, maybe going to the bar for a drink, but my best friend, Matt, surprised me with a trip to the mountains. Just the two of us.

We arrived at the cabin on Friday evening, and it was so peaceful and serene. The moonlight flooding through the windows and all of the stars out gave everything a bit of a romantic feel. It wasn't like that with me and Matt, though. It had been, but it wasn't anymore.

We actually started out sleeping together after meeting at a party, but as we got closer and closer, it became apparent that the sex was complicating things. That was back in college.

"Hannah?" He called from down the hall as I was stocking the fridge. "Did you know this place only has one bedroom?"

"Yeah," I looked up from putting a 6-pack in. "We can't share a bed? The bigger places didn't have hot tubs." I pointed outside.

"No... we can. But why do we need a hot tub? It's November."

"Exactly. It's like drinking hot chocolate when it's cold. In fact, I'm going out there in a minute."

"Okay, well I think I'm actually going to get some sleep. I want to get started early tomorrow."

"Don't hog the blankets!" I yelled after him as he walked up the stairs.

About 30 minutes later, the kitchen was fully stocked and I had unpacked my suitcase. I grabbed my bathing suit and headed to our bathroom to change. Matt was already asleep, but he awoke when I sneezed from behind the door.

"Hannah?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I emerged from the bathroom wearing a black string bikini. Matt turned on the bedside lamp. Last time he had seen me naked, I was very thin, and my breasts were a small B. I had gained about 20 pounds since, and had gotten some nice hips, my breasts filling out to a full C. I could see him trying not to stare, but it wasn't working.

"It's okay." I had just gotten a wax, and you could definitely tell, as this suit left little to the imagination. Matt couldn't peel his eyes from between my legs, and I honestly started to get a little wet. I told myself it was just hormones. I hadn't had good sex in a long time, and my body was craving the familiar.

"Well, goodnight." As difficult as it was, I decided to do the wholesome thing and walk away.

It was very cold outside. Not quite cold enough to snow, but enough that it wouldn't have been feasible to stand out there in a bikini for more than a minute or two.

When I sank into the warm water, all my worries went away. I lit a joint, sat back, and stared at the stars. Just as the weed started to hit me, I heard Matt behind me.

"I can't sleep."

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to wake you. You know I always sneeze at the most inconvenient times."

"I saw you smoking through the window and I thought maybe I'd be able to sleep if I smoke a bit."

"Oh, sure," I handed him the joint and he stood outside the hot tub smoking. "Why don't you just get in?"

"I don't want to get my boxers wet."

"Oh please, like I don't know what your dick looks like."

He exhaled, coughing.

"You mean get in naked?"

"Yeah, why not? I'll get naked, too, if that will make you feel more comfortable."

"You don't have to do that, but as long as you're okay with me being naked..."

I nodded, and he pulled his boxers off. I could tell he was a little hard.

"Sorry." He blushed. I just smiled. I had forgotten how thick he was, but seeing his cock again immediately turned me on.

He took the seat right next to me, and we sat like that for a while, passing the joint back and forth until it was gone.

I had my head back on the edge of the hot tub. I felt good. Warm on the inside from the weed, and on the outside from the water.

Matt laughed, placing his hand on my thigh. I watched it through the water.

"I'm glad I came here with you instead of staying home." I looked up at him. He was so handsome, dark hair and eyes, with olive skin. He was tall and fit, but not aggressively so.

"Me too. You deserve nice things, you know. You work so hard, all the time, but you never stop to enjoy what you're working for."

"You're right," I looked away, embarrassed. I had wasted my entire twenties, dedicated it all to my career, and I wasn't even close to where I had hoped I would be by this point. "What about you? Are you getting utter fulfillment out of life?"

"No," He laughed. "Not even close."

"What more is it you want?"

He didn't answer.

I looked back over and he was staring at me.

"What?"

"Hannah..." He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Matt? What?" I rubbed his back, concerned that something was really wrong and he had been keeping it to himself.

"You have to know that I'm in love with you."

My stomach felt like it turned inside out. I thought maybe we'd end up fucking, sure. Never in my life did I expect a declaration of love.

"Matt, I... How long have you felt this way?"

"Years."

"Years?!"

"Yeah, I mean... I couldn't tell you after you said we should just be friends, because I knew you wouldn't talk to me anymore. And I would have rather had you around and secretly be in love with you than not have you around at all."

"I had no idea."

"Come on. You're absolutely stunning, you're so smart and easy to talk to, funny, ambitious, great in bed, and I mean... look at your body. How could I not be in love with you?"

I leaned into him.

"You really think all of those things?"

"Yes, Hannah. You are an absolute goddess, stop letting the people you date tell you otherwise."

I could see the sincerity in his eyes, and I kissed him.

He grabbed the sides of my face and kissed me back harder. I moaned into his mouth, and he pulled away, looking into my eyes.

"Hannah, I don't know if we should."

Matt grabbed my hand beneath the water, stroking my palm with his thumb.

"Matty..." He looked up. He hated being called Matty, except by me. I only used this moniker when I was serious. "I feel the same way you do."

It was quiet for a while. I knew he must have been just as confused as I was, as I'd been the one to end things. Finally, he spoke.

"Then why did you say we should only be friends? That makes no sense."

"I was scared," I grabbed his hand. "It was so much, so fast. I was terrified of getting my heart broken and losing your friendship, too. So I thought it was better to cut the romantic element out. But all I did was make myself miserable for the last decade.

He stared into my eyes for a moment in complete silence. Then he began stroking his thumb on my cheek and pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him.

"Tell me." He pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

I put my hand on his chest and laid my head on his shoulder. For a moment, there was complete silence as the water moved around us.

"I love you, Matt. I have for a long time."

He pulled me up to face him again and pressed his lips to mine, taking my lower lip into his mouth and giving it a little bite.

"You're my dream girl," he rubbed his thumb over my lower lip. "You know that?"

I moaned as he kissed and licked my neck, undoubtedly marking me as he went. He untied my bikini top so he could have unrestricted access to my neck, and it floated out of sight. My nipples hardened immediately from the cold air. Matt kissed down my chest and all over my breasts, taking each nipple into his mouth. He licked, sucked, or gently bit one while he softly rubbed the other... then he'd switch. I was arching my back into his mouth and moaning, and I suddenly became very aware of his hard cock between us.

I started grinding on him, harder and harder, until he spanked my ass hard and I yelped.

"Be careful now."

Matt wrapped my legs around him and carried me to the edge of the hot tub, where he put down a towel and had me spread my legs. He pulled the side ties on my bikini bottoms like he was unwrapping a gift, tossing them into the darkness.

I shivered from the sudden cold on my wet skin, but Matt began kissing all over my thighs, and my skin immediately went flush.

He spread my lips, rubbing my clit in slow circles as we made out. His mouth muffled my moans, but it wouldn't have mattered. There was nobody around for miles. Just me, Matt, and the passion between us.

I was right on the edge, and when I told Matt I was about to cum, he slipped two fingers inside me, forcing the last word to come out in a long moan.

Before I was fully recovered from my first orgasm, Matt's mouth had replaced his fingers. I was in heaven, staring up at the stars as orgasm after orgasm rolled through my body.

Matt was pretty good in bed back in college, but now he was nothing short of spectacular.

"Do you want to move inside?" I asked, stroking his hair as his head rested on my thigh.

"I want nothing more." He kissed where his mouth was and stepped out of the hot tub, pulling me out and drying us both off. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me down on the bed, getting between my legs. He rubbed the head of his cock on my clit until I was begging for him to fuck me.

"Please Matt," I moaned. "I've waited long enough."

That was all the encouragement he required, and Matt was fully inside me in one thrust.

"Oh fuck," he groaned. "You're so wet, fuck." He leaned down to kiss me as he started to pound harder. After a few minutes of intensely making out and grinding my hips into him, I told him I wanted to be on top.

Matt rolled us over so I was on top, without ever pulling out of me. I leaned back and began moving my hips slowly, and he was hitting my g spot so perfectly. I loved showing off for him, the way he watched me with lust and disbelief. I started riding him faster, and faster, until I lost all sense of time and place. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him and whispering in my ear.

"I'm going to fuck you so well that you never want another cock," He spanked my ass and I yelped. "Be a good girl and get on your stomach.

He put me in the prone position and got on top of me, pinning my wrists together behind my back. He slid his cock up and down my lips only a few times, but I was so desperate that it felt like hours.

Just as I opened my mouth to beg him to fuck me until I had a limp, he was balls deep inside me. I cried out in pleasure, he filled me even more like this.

"Your pussy is so fucking tight," he growled, slowing his thrusts. "Fuck, Hannah. You're going to make me cum already." He stopped completely for a moment, tracing the freckles on my back and stroking my hair. This was what I always loved about him. He was the perfect blend of rough and gentle.

Especially with me.

Before I knew what was happening, I was being pounded into the mattress again. His thrusts were perfect, and I came so hard that my voice was hoarse the next day from screaming. Matt couldn't hold back any longer when he felt my pussy tighten around him, and he grabbed me by the hips and came deep inside me with the most guttural noise I've ever heard.

I rolled over and he collapsed on top of me, placing little kisses on my collar bone.

"I love you, Hannah. Happy birthday."