It was April

"Someone was about to serve me?"

She handed Dave the packet, "Oh yeah, David you've been served."

He took the package and was about to open it.

I yelled, "Please don't open it. It was an April Fool's joke. Just ignore it."

He read over the document. I could see the anger building in his face. "If Allison hadn't shown up, receiving this divorce petition would have broken my heart again. Nancy, how could you be so evil? I guess I should thank you, though. I have absolutely no guilt now in asking Allison this."

He turned to Allison and took her hands into his. "Please tell me you're not married."

"Of course not, I have never been even slightly interested in another man."

"Does it upset you that I got married?"

"Dave, you thought I was dead. You did what it took to survive. I can't hold that against you."

"Allison Kirk, will you marry me?"

I screamed, "What did you just say?"

"Oh yes, Dave, yes, yes, yes." They embraced each other.

"You can't marry her, damnit! You're still married to me."

"Not for long." He took out a pen and signed the documents. "There, marriage over."

"That's not how it works. I'm going to drop the divorce. We're still married."

"Fine. I'll just file my own papers as soon as I can. I'll be fair as possible."

Allison spoke up, "Dave, don't squabble over money. I have a good job and my parents left me quite a lot of money. You could leave her all your money and we'd still be okay."

I was seething. "What about me? I will not be okay. The main asset I want is him -- not his money or his property. Damnit, Dave, we have twenty years of marriage and two kids, for God's sake. What will the girls think about you dumping me for an old girlfriend?"

"Nancy, I am holding a divorce petition that you had prepared asking for a divorce. That more than kind of says you don't want me as a husband anymore. You've made it clear that the new guy at work is who you want, and probably already have had. I think the girls understand when I tell them the full story. In the long run, they will probably love Allison and their new brother."

"I told you that it was an April Fool's joke. I didn't really intend to divorce you. The new guy at work is a myth. I just wanted to do something silly and pull one of my pranks. I wanted to put a little spark back in our marriage."

"I'm afraid that you smothered what faint little spark there was if that was the case. I think what you are doing is more of a 'I didn't want you until someone else wanted you' situation."

"Allison, give me a second to gather up a few things." He headed upstairs to our bedroom.

There we two women sat -- his 'true love' and his stupid wife, or ex-wife depending on how you looked at it.

Allison spoke, "Mrs. Livingston, I'm sorry to upset you like this, but David and I have something eternal between us. I truly think our reunion was meant to be. Just be happy for the many years you had him. I would have loved to have had those years. Instead those 20 years were sheer agony for me. I love him more than life itself."

"You husband-stealing bitch. I ought to kill you."

"No threats, bribes, delay tactics or anything else will stop us now. This is the moment I have waited too many years for and I'm not about to give it up for you or anyone else. We deserve a chance at some happiness in our lives."

"What about the happiness in my life? What have I done to deserve this?"

"What are you bitching about? I would have never approached him until I found out you were divorcing him."

"Didn't you hear me? It was a damned joke. An April Fool's joke."

"You are pathetic. How do you get off on torturing the one you supposedly love more than anyone else? What a cruel bitch you are. I hope we never see your nasty face again."

"You will. I will fight this divorce tooth and nail."

Dave came down with a couple of packed bags. He turned to me. "I know this comes as a surprise but thinking of Allison was what caused me to look so pensive and sad at times. I was thinking about what I had lost when Allison and our baby died. Nancy, I cared deeply about you and our marriage until the last few months. Frankly, I was not surprised to be served for divorce. It was obvious that you didn't care much for me anymore and believed you had better options with men from your office. I suspected you have been cheating during your 'work late' sessions. As I said, I will be fair in the divorce. I think it would be best for us to not have any more contact except through our lawyers."

"Allison, can we go meet our son now?"

"Of course, my love." They kissed. I didn't remember ever being kissed so passionately by him.

I watched as they walked to their cars. She took off first and he followed close behind.

"So much for my April Fool's joke." Then it hit me. "YOU IDIOT! This was David's April Fool's joke on me!" I started laughing. "That son-of-a-bitch got me. He got me good. I wonder where he got 'Allison' or whatever her real name is. She is some great actress."

I expected they would come back by dinner and gloat over how they had tricked me. They did not. Nor were they there in the morning. "Damn, they are really stringing this joke out."

It wasn't until I received his divorce papers for me that I realized it wasn't a joke. I tried fighting the divorce, but it became clear after six months of counter-proposal battles that the three of them had already become a new family without us being divorced. I gave up, sold the house and moved closer to the girls who did, unfortunately for me, like their new step-mother and step-brother. They thought the miracle reunion of their father and his true love and son was a Hallmark moment with barely a sympathy card for me.

Not much has changed in my life in the years since our divorce except for the grandkids we share with all the civility I can muster at family gatherings. My worst time is when every April 1 comes around and I am reminded of what happened. It wasn't all my fault! Who in the hell gets reunited from their long-lost sweetheart and son they thought were dead? We might have eventually gotten a divorce anyway, but I made it a lot easier with my practical joke.

I don't play any April Fool pranks anymore.