All Comments on 'It Was Fine Until Mom Took Over'

Very well written, building the story up like that. Still so much to learn. What's up next?

What a well written story, my goodness!

Can’t wait for the next part. Hope she gets pregnant.

The storyline wasn’t consistent. You wrote things like, “he'd do his best to find some time to play with me – football or cricket or some such game“ followed in the next paragraph by, “Dad's way of interacting with me since he never played sports or computer games with me.” These things jarred me back out of the fantasy.

We enjoyed the story a lot. We think mama needs to teach him about anal sex. Maybe Mama should teach him about eating cream pies.

Very hot! Hope there will be a followup chapter.

For the read.

A good story has some basis in reality and this didn't really work for me. For a start, does an 18 year-old guy go to bed in the early evening? That doesn’t happen. (A football match is on).

The mother had no characterisation at all which meant there was no sexual tension.

A technical tip to help with your future output - Keep the paragraphs down to four, maximum five lines. It makes the pace of the story faster and keeps the reader interested.

Very yummy indeed! I do hope that you’ll add to this one! Thank you!

The title was a little misleading.The title should have been,

( It was better when mom took over).

Now that would have been a working title. easy to read, well done.

THANKS

A good read, my only issue is when an eighteen year old has no clue about sex. With sex ed and other resources, surely her can't be the naive. The store was very hot otherwise.

The college/University confusion. Which is it?

In Europe do you go to college THEN University?

In US they are the same thing.

Handjob was nice but then progressing straight to full on sex wasn't believable.

She basically taught her son that foreplay is unnecessary. Bad mommy.

It turns me on when the mom and son are speaking, directing, swearing, and showing their pleasure vocally as they fuck.Then letting each other know they're cumming and vocalizing that also. It would be like that with my mom and I if we fucked.

Thank you for your guidance.

I write my way - you write yours. If I choose to let my paragraphs run on then so be it - that's my choice and adds my characterisation to my words. Most people are more than happy with the way I write and as the author of two books (with two more already with the publishers and awaiting their slot) my style is obviously perfectly good.

And so far as football is concerned - back in my days I hated the game to be honest and if I knew it was on TV (which it was free to watch more back then) I'd always head off to my room.

So there.

It's just the fuck tube/birth canal. That is exactly all a Vagina is, absolutely nothing more.

the scene where Mum jacks off her son was about the hottest scene i've read on Literotica, surely the hottest mom jerks off son one! She's so playful and loving! I went back to that scene after i read through it all, and had myself a good wank, imagining i, too, could still shoot my cannon like that! Your powers of description are right there at the top, and i plan on reading all your other mom son stories- this one's the first! I'm working on my first Halloween party in ten years this year, but next year watch for my byline- the stories have been cooking in my noggin and will certainly pour forth. Thanks for writing. Bravo!

Hope his mom did get knocked up by her son because knocked up my mom we have three kids together