It's a Funny Old World Ch. 01

Some say it's a funny old life and perhaps I couldn't agree more, and I`d like to relate how strange my life as turned out.

It all started when I discovered nightclubs, girls and everything that goes with it. I was just finishing my apprenticeship as a plumber and it was time to try something different, I`d done a bit of DJ work and decided to have a go at becoming a professional. Lady luck worked her magic when a summer residency was advertised, I applied and got invited to the audition. I was out of my depth, but it was a good experience. I managed to get a few local gigs, plumbing daytime and spinning some records in the evenings. Out of the blue a telephone call offered me the residency, apparently, they had been let down at the last minute, I was second on the list, apparently, could I start Saturday, 4 days' time? I accepted and the following Saturday I headed to the seaside and a resident DJ job, all a little quick but nothing ventured. I soon found my way around, the other staff made me more than welcome, we had a week before the place opened to get it ship shape and organised for season to commence.

It was difficult not to notice the very attractive female staff, in fact I found myself having sex with the dining room supervisor Juliet on my second evening there! My previous sexual experiences had been nothing more than crude fumbling`s, back seat of cars, around the back of a nightclub, that sort of thing, so no real experience to brag about. I didn't even click on when after a few drinks she invited me up to her room for a nightcap. My God she almost raped me, it must have taken her twenty seconds to get me stripped down to my undies and onto her bed, I was in a daze as she stripped down to her bra and panties. My cock was naturally stiff as a poker and very ready, we slipped under the duvet, what a feeling a woman lying almost naked next to me. She wasted no time in finding her way into my pants her hand wrapping around my cock, I stroked her arse as we kissed passionately. Juliet straddled me and pulled her panties aside; she guided my cock into her pussy. Previously I had always struggled to penetrate a girl, this time Juliet knew exactly what to do and slowly sank down onto my cock, I couldn't believe how wonderful it felt. She was breathing heavily and panted in my ear, "Fuck me with that big cock," She demanded, she groaned speeding up her riding me, maybe it was the alcohol I don't know but unusually I didn't want to cum as soon as I got inside a pussy, I just wanted this experience to go on forever. Juliet amazed me again a few moments later, she moaned and groaned I felt her pussy tighten on my cock, "Jeeeessssus yeeessss I`mmmmmm cummiiinnng," She screamed. What the fuck did she mean cumming? I soon worked out woman actually had pleasure out of sex not just the guy, amazing! I also learned women could have the experience more than once when a few moments later she repeated the act. I reckoned I put up a decent show, Juliet appeared to have orgasmed four times before I reached the point of no return, orgasm number five ripped through her when I hit the short strokes. We slept together and the following morning I awoke with a huge stiffy, a fact not missed by Juliet, she giggled and dragged me on top of her, she was more than ready and guided my cock into her very willing quim. She grunted as I entered her in one thrust, "Easy big boy, "She said raising her legs either side of me, after a few strokes she began to moan, her legs gripped me tighter as she orgasmed. I went at it like a man possessed, Juliet appeared to approve.

For the next four days we fucked at every opportunity, Juliet seemed to know every position, and some I could only dream of, well it lasted just those four days before she went on to one of the senior managers.

I hadn't really noticed any of the other girls having been pretty smitten with Juliet. I was summoned by the entertainment's manager, he informed me I needed to liaise with entertainments director and fill in at certain times. Meeting the entertainment staff was a real eyeopener, a girl named Jackie really caught my attention. 18 years old auburn hair, nice breasts, long legs and that arse, oh my God I decided I was in love.

"She`s out of your league," Ken a recent friend announced when he spotted me staring longingly at her, he was probably correct. I flitted between a new barmaid Angie and a cleaner Claire for the next couple of weeks, so I wasn't going short in the bedroom. Nobody was more surprised than me when Jackie made a pass at me, her friend Kathy joked I should fill my boots with a knowing wink and smile. Kathy was very attractive a decent singer in her third season at the Hotel, she always seemed in control and quite prim and proper, although I later learned she enjoyed her cocks as much as the rest. Well, two evenings later Jackie seduced me, like a lamb to the slaughter, we had been enjoying a quite beer after all the events of the evening had concluded and most people were tucked up in bed.

"Walking my way? She asked.

"Yeah," I smiled, although I had planned to walk the opposite direction to Angie`s room and enjoy a night of sex.

I certainly had a night of sex, we went at each other like rabbits, pretty raw sex, Jackie certainly knew what a cock was for, I was full of youthful enthusiasm, we shagged each other to a standstill, a very unrefined first date. I woke the next morning, and we were at it again until lunchtime, when we were both satisfied, Jackie walked unsteadily to take a shower, my cock was sore. Of course, for the next six weeks were fucked each other senseless. In between sex I learned Jackie had been in the final of the Miss England competition after success in a number of regional competitions, her body was utterly fantastic and it appeared we were a good well-matched couple.

My world was shattered when I spotted her going into the assistant entertainment manager Aiden`s room. I was devasted she couldn't be, could she? Transpired she had dropped her knickers for him the second day she was there, along with a couple of the other male entertainers who I later learned had enjoyed her sexual favours. I was naturally distraught, I waited for her to emerge from Aiden`s room, hoping for an acceptable explanation of an innocent meeting. Nothing of the sort, I could tell from her dishevelled appearance and mannerism they had been at it, worse than that she announced she loved him, before promptly turning and walking away.

I suppose I was heartbroken; Ken took me for a beer or two too many to ease the pain, it worked and we were soon chatting to two ladies Linda and Maggie both in the thirties, very attractive ladies who were taking a week's break whilst their husbands were in Spain golfing. A few drinks a few dances and the evening began drawing to a conclusion, or so I thought, the two ladies had other ideas and Linda invited me back to her room, I knew the score this time, while Ken was similarly propositioned by Maggie. A night of sex ensued, an older woman every young man's dream, I wasn't disappointed Linda had a fine body and appeared to enjoy our sex. We slept afterwards, waking she was looking at my cock, my morning erection all ready for her I waited for her to make a move, her hand soon went for my cock and the sensation of her soft touch electric.

"Nice cock," She said, "Shame you don't put it to better use," Talk about taking the wind out of guys erection. She pulled my foreskin back and wanked me a couple of times, my cock regained its hardness immediately, I was just about to ravish her when she slipped out of bed and skipped to the bathroom. I checked out her body, it was perhaps even better than what I thought last night. She emerged from the bathroom dressed and ready for her day, she looked hot, "Lock the door when you leave," She instructed, I was gobsmacked.

"Can I..."

"See me later?" She smiled, "I do hope so," She looked at my hard cock and laughed as she left.

I found Ken a while later, he looked shattered, "Good night was it?" I asked cheerfully, Ken explained in detail how Maggie was a cougar and shagged him until dawn.

"She just couldn't get enough," He went for a lie down. By last orders that evening we were back with the girls, they knew they had two young studs right where they wanted them.

Linda and I walked arm in arm in the moonlight back to her room, "What did you mean about putting it to better use," I asked light heartedly, Linda was silent for a moment before replying, "It`s no good having all the right equipment if you can`t put it to the best use is it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked naively.

Linda took me into her bedroom and didn't use any words explaining what a woman wanted of her man, over the rest of the week I received a sex lesson that was absolutely unbelievable. I was so uneducated I never had any idea about oral sex! What a feeling the first time in a female mouth! It took me a few minutes to get my head around returning the favour, but once I got a taste for pussy I couldn't get enough, much to Linda`s delight. She instructed me in the art of cunnilingus and what a teacher she was! Sex in every position, but not the fast raw shagging I had considered normal, yes, she liked a good hard fucking, she also liked gentle sex going on for ages. Sucking, licking, making love, fucking in all of its nuances, I was so ignorant about sexual matters I never realised the size of men's penis varied so much, Linda and Juliet had mentioned giving them my big cock, but in the heat of the moment I never bore it any heed.

By the Friday I was Jack the Lad and considered myself the world`s greatest lover, I was determined to make our last night one to remember and give Linda the best sex ever. Linda was dressed as sexily as any woman I had ever seen, and she hinted at something special all evening. I was working and between my spots on stage she teased me mercilessly, she knew how to get my cock hard, just licking her lips turned me on without stroking me under the table. She even danced with a couple of guys whilst I was spinning the tunes to tease me, one chap openly feeling her arse, she shot me a few glances even smiling, the little cock-teaser. I needn't have worried as there was only one guy she was going home with, me! We walked arm in arm back to her room, I think we were both a little sad this was our final night together.

We entered her room, Linda turned and kissed me, "I`m going to teach you something you`ll never forget," She announced, as if she hadn't already? "Get in bed," She ordered, I didn't argue, she disappeared into the bathroom. The bedroom was dimly lit by the bedside lamp, it didn't stop me getting sight of her sexy attire, stockings, suspenders the full works and my first experience of a G-string, my cock was ramrod stiff. Linda took complete control, taking my cock between her red lips, when she was happy, I was hard enough she produced a bottle of baby oil. On my god she drizzled the oil all over my cock and balls, she rubbed it all over then took a moment to admire her work, "Jesus you`re cock looks even bigger," She exclaimed, she had a very sultry, dreamy look on her face, her next movement was to straddle me, she took my cock and rubbed the head along her fanny, I attempted to get up her, every time she moved away just enough to prevent me entering her. Without warning she spun around, presenting her wonderful backside, she teased me further with her pussy lips either side of my cock head. She then moved forwards a tad before she placed my knob end on her puckered anus, before I realised what she was doing my knob entered her tightest of holes, Slowly, so very slowly she began to move backwards and forwards, and gradually she took more and more of me, until I had about half my cock up her ass. The tightness, the warmth the sensation I will never forget. I sensed I should keep still, against all my urges to begin fucking. She rocked backwards and forwards adjusting to the invasion of her most private place, gradually she took a little more. I had difficulty not cumming, the sensations absolutely indescribable. How long it took her to take my full length I don't know I just revelled in the sensations. When she decided to start moving, I couldn't keep still and we began to start having anal sex, naturally things speeded up and Linda rode me until I felt her grip my cock tighter, if that was possible, she screamed in orgasm seconds later. We fucked the night away Linda had me on the cusp of cumming several times before she allowed me the release I so desired, we only dozed before we were at it again, the next morning came to soon, and she was gone, I knew I`d never see her again.

For the next 2 months if it had a fanny and a pulse, I fucked it, I like to thing I gave a lot of females a lot of pleasure using the skills Linda had taught me. Anal sex was hard to come by, I tried it on with most girls and almost always met with a firm refusal.

The season came to its conclusion, I was approached by the management to come back the following year, fortunately I managed to get three nights DJ at a posh Casino / Nightclub in town, good money and plenty of top totty. I acquired a small flat for the winter so all was good. I was still hurting by the way Jackie had dumped me and avoided contact with me unless absolutely unavoidable. I had a couple of memorable shags with her best mate Kathy who proclaimed her love for my cock, "Jackie told me you had a big one," She confessed dreamily after a good session one night, "She never said how well you used it."

"No disappointed?" I asked with a smirk

"Oh God no, I`d have been here a long time ago if she had gone into the finer details, I assure you." I smiled to myself knowing Jackie hadn't enjoyed anywhere near the sexual enjoyment her best mate just had.

Surprisingly and completely out of the blue Jackie did get another fucking from me that season. Early one evening Kathy knocked on my door and asked if I could pop in and check on Jackie as she was worried, she had sunstroke. The girls had, been taking the rays all afternoon and Jackie being fair skinned was suffering, "Why can't her boyfriend attend to her?" I asked.

"Aiden is away at the other hotel tonight," She explained I reluctantly agreed to help, I didn't have a spot-on stage until ten that evening, so after showering and getting ready I tapped on Jackie`s door. She was in bed and wrapped in blankets and appeared to be shivering, she was indeed sunburnt, very red and burning hot. I was concerned, I made sure she was drinking plenty of water, despite her reassurances she was fine I said I`d look back in later. It was almost 12.30 when I returned her door was on the latch and I went in to her room quietly, and what a sight greeted me. Jackie appeared to be asleep, not in the bed now she was lying on top, she was naked apart from her tiny white panties, lying on her tummy, she stirred when she realised, I was there, she didn't attempt to cover herself.

"How are you feeling?" I enquired genuinely concerned.

"Not too bad," She squeaked.

"You`re still burning," I said running my hand down her back, making her wince. "Kathy gave me some after - sun to give you, shall I rub some on your back?"

"It can only help," She said approvingly.

She squealed when I put the drop of the cold cream on her sunburn, I began to gently massage it in to her shoulders and back, she was particularly red on her shoulders and the bottom of her back. Her auburn hair was tied in a bun giving me a great view of her back and long slender neck. After finishing creaming her back, I noticed the backs of her legs were also red, I squirted after-sun on them and began gently to rub it in. There was no protest from Jackie, I moved from her calves upwards to her thighs, I don't know if I imagined her arse move just a little, what I didn't miss was she opened her legs just a fraction, this allowed me to apply after sun to the inside of her thighs. I applied more cream and moved slowly up her thighs, her panties only just hiding her modesty. I took longer than necessary, enjoying both the feel and the view. I am not lying when I say I accidentally touched her knicker clad pussy. I was just trying to finish her legs off when my hand just very briefly touched her there. I apologised immediately, what I didn't miss was the slight moan that came from her. Another application of after- sun on the top of her thighs this time I made sure I touched her gently just brushing her sex intimately, this time she almost groaned and opened her legs wider. I took this as the invitation it was meant to be and rubbed her pussy through her panties, her visibly damp panties,

"Yessss," She moaned into her pillow when my finger found her sex, her arse rising off the bed demanding, I slipped my middle finger into her sweet wet pussy, she moaned loudly, I found her clit, my god it was like lighting the blue touch paper, she pushed her fanny onto my probing finger, "Fuck me," she hissed, "Please fuck me."

I needed no third invitation; my cock was rock hard and I was quickly behind her kneeling on the bed I pulled her hips upwards getting her onto her knees my cock found her sex and I slid into her wet pussy going balls deep in a single thrust.

"Ughhh, oh God, ugggghhhh," She buried her face into the pillow as I began to fuck her in long hard strokes, I soon felt her pussy contract as she approached her first orgasm. I went at her hard, fucking her in the longest possible strokes I remembered she liked. Her orgasm subsided I was sliding in and out of her in long slow strokes, she was still on all fours her knees well apart, I could see her little brown anus, it was just to inviting, I withdrew from her quim applied a big dollop of after sun onto my knob end and a decent squirt between her legs, moving towards her arsehole my cock soon found the target. I held her hips tightly and pushed forward. Surprisingly my knob-end pushed past her sphincter easier than I had anticipated, it was at that moment Jackie realised what was occurring.

"Nooooooooo," She screamed, the bitch had hurt me when she dumped me and this was a little payback, "Noooooo pleeeeese nooooooo," She pleaded. I gripped her hips tightly and gave her about half my length, "Aaaaaahhhhhhh," She screamed in protest, I pushed her head into her pillow pulled my cock back before giving her the full length, fortunately her screams of protest were somewhat muffled by the pillow. I began to fuck her and it took perhaps twenty strokes before I felt her ass relax, and another ten before she began to thrust back in time to my strokes. "Oooooohhhhh God yesssssss," She was going at it now, my finger found her swollen clitty and I rubbed her little button hard triggering an amazing orgasm which racked her body, she was trembling from head to toe as she came. I pulled my cock out of her arse and thrust straight up her pussy, again balls deep one thrust, she exploded again. I rode her through her pleasure pulling my still rampant cock out of her, she leant back resting on her legs, her back to me I kissed her neck, she moaned, my cock was resting in the crack of her bum she appeared to have forgotten all about any sunburn. She turned around to face me she looked radiant and smiled beautifully, I kissed her before letting her know what I wanted pushing her downwards towards my very hard cock.

She knew exactly what I wanted, "I don`t do..." She began to protest

"You do now," I said pulling her further downwards my hardness brushed her lips, "Now suck that cock," her mouth opened if involuntarily I slipped my cock between her lips and into her mouth.

For a girl we said she didn't suck cock she certainly gave it a good go, "Lick it," I instructed, "Just like a lollipop," She ran her tongue down the underside of my shaft then back to the top, before taking me deep into her mouth. Several times she repeated this appearing to now be enjoying herself, she went down the underside of my cock I held her head and offered her my balls, instinctively she kissed and licked them, causing me to moan loudly. I reckoned she was well aware of the effect she was having on me and enjoyed the dominance; I was almost there. She popped my cock into her mouth I grabbed behind her head and used her mouth, going perhaps too deep, I had gone past caring and began to cum in her mouth, her eyes shot open wide when she realised, I was actually cumming in her mouth, she attempted to get away I held her head tightly as I emptied my balls, she had no choice but to swallow every drop.