It's Time

Two weeks ago, fifteen months from the date we had first seen Doctor McGowan, Rosa's thin body had been lifted from her bed overlooking her beloved garden, and as I had arranged with the Chief Fire Officer she was taken by ambulance to the airport at Plymouth, then transferred into the air ambulance. After a smooth flight, we landed at Sorrento where she was transferred to an ambulance arranged by Paolo, and taken to the villa. He had given us his downstairs study which had French windows opening on to the garden, a hospital bed for Rosa and a single bed alongside it for me. Angelique had sedated Rosa for the trip, and when the sedatives wore off and we raised the head of the bed, she looked out into the garden, and as best she could, she smiled. Looking at me, she whispered "Thank you," and fell back on to her pillows.

For the last two weeks, we had been in that room, except for me leaving for a little, when Angelique was there looking after her mother. Rosa had been tougher than we thought. She kept most of her faculties to the end, though they were limited, she had very little strength, and her speech and sight were still there, though very weakened, until now when she seemed to be slipping away

Then say not 'goodbye'

Come back again, beloved

Back to Sorrento, or I must die

Just then Angelique came into the room, and checked her mother, "Dad, It's almost time, Mum can't last much longer, she is barely breathing." Leaving her alone with her mother, I went into the kitchen where Anthony and Amelia were sitting talking with Paolo and his wife.

"Kids." They would always be kids to me, "It is time, we don't think Mum has long left, Paolo, Angelina, would you please come with us."

They all rose and came into the room. Paolo opened the French windows and we all began to move Rosa's bed through the windows and down the ramp Paolo had built, to a spot among the roses. He had erected a tent of plastic sheeting, so that even if it rained we were protected, As it was, it was a fine summer night, clear, the warm air carrying the odor of the roses. Paolo brought chairs, placing them around the bed and we sat throughout our vigil, me holding Rosa's hand, Angelique holding her other wrist, checking her pulse from time to time. All of us were bound up in our own prayers for Rosa's soul. Just as the sun was coming up over the hills behind us, illuminating the blue waters of the bay below, Rosa gave a deep sigh, her hand relaxed and her chest was still. Angelique checked for her pulse, both at her wrist and neck and with tears in her eyes said, "Dad, she has gone.

I stood, leant over Rosa, and gave her my last kiss. "Au revoir my love, we will meet again before long." Anthony and Paolo also kissed her brow, and then led me from the garden to allow the women to prepare Rosa's body for the undertaker.

Epilogue

Two days later, with all the family present a Funeral Mass was said for Rosa at the Church of Saint Mary, where she had been baptized and married. Then the undertaker took her body to the crematorium, where she was cremated and her ashes placed in two urns. One was interred in the garden of the Villa Fellini, with all the families present. Several days later the other was interred in her rose garden at the cottage with our own family present... Affixed to the wall above each was a simple plaque reading 'Here lie the ashes of Rosalita Fellini Moore, Partisan, and beloved Wife and Mother. 1925 to 2002.

After the interment, we went into the house and had a meal, then most of the family went home. Angelique decided to stay and keep me company for a while, and try to get me to relax. I went through into our bedroom and opened the wall safe that I had installed. I removed a small box, walked over to the bed, sat on the side, and opened the box. Looking down I saw nestled in cotton wool, two brown glassine capsules, the same two that Rosa and I had carried throughout the war in case we were captured and tortured by the Gestapo, they contained cyanide. I sat there lost in thought, thinking of Rosa, our lives and how deeply I missed her. Suddenly I heard Angelique say, "Dad, don't, please don't, we need you?"

I looked up; she was standing in the doorway, so like her mother at the same age. There were tears in her eyes as she continued. "Yes Dad, I know what they are, Mum showed them to me years ago when we had been talking about what you both did in the war. I know you miss Mum and that she was the love of your life, we miss her too, and it would be unbearable if we lost you too, especially for your grandchildren. Please give me the pills and I will get them destroyed." She came over and put her arms around me. "Dad, you and Mum provided us with the most loving home I have ever known. Now let us do that for you." Then I couldn't avoid it, for the first time since Rosa died I broke down in tears, and cried tears of sorrow until I could cry no more. Angelique held me just like she would a child, and cried with me. I put the lid back on the little box, and gave them to her.

"Here, they have to be crushed well away from people as the gas given off can kill."

"I'll dispose of them in the hospital incinerator, that is enclosed and they won't harm anybody. Now pack a case and come home with me, come see your grandchildren. They need to have you around for a while yet."

Between us we packed a small suitcase and after we had walked out the door, making sure it was locked, and walked to the gate, I turned and looked back at the deserted cottage, whispering 'It's just for a few days Rosa, I'll be back to look after your roses.'

The End