Jack and the Jotun-Wife

The giant grumbled, having no answer for that. Bebinn patted him on the shoulder. "How about you go listen to some music while I finish, breakfast, dear?" she suggested sweetly.

Cormoran stomped into the living room, and from his little hidey-hole Jack watched the giant walk up to a great fireplace. Up on the fireboard he sees a real ornate Celtic harp, made of solid gold, with the face of a sad girl carved on it. The giant grabs the harp and shakes it.

"Play!" he growled at it, and Jack wondered just how slow-witted this giant was. But then that gleaming harp starts strummin' its own strings, and the gilded face starts singing the saddest and most beautiful music he had ever heard, and it damn near broke ol' Jack's heart to listen to.

Now Stingy Jack was a sinner through and through, and his heart may well have been the heart of a knotty old pine tree. So Jack's heart was only softened by that music for a moment before it hardened right back up again with sin. Jack coveted the giant's golden harp, he lusted after the giant's wife, and he wanted to open up a can of whoop-ass on that giant. And when Jack wanted something bad enough he got tricksy.

Bebinn had her back to him, so Jack crept out of the pantry real quiet-like. He grabbed a kitchen knife off the table that was like a short sword in his hand. Then he snuck up behind where Comoran was sittin' at the fireplace, listening to the enchanted music and counting out a great sack of coins. Jack reached down and
grabbed hold of the firepoker at his side.

"Pardon me, sir."

The giant spun around, and his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull at the sight of Jack standing there. He sputtered for a moment, before finally asking "Who the blazes are you? " he asked surprised, before reachin' out to grabbing hold of Jack. "Doesn't matter, I'll gobble you up in one bite!"

"Well, since you asked, my name is Nix Nought." Jack said with a smile, and then he plunged both weapons into the giant's wide eyes.

The giant roared, clutching at his eye sockets, flailing his arm around trying to grab hold of Jack, who scurried back away from the great beast.

Bebinn looked at her husband with shock in her eyes, but didn't move to help him. Another male voice called from the back of the house.

"Comoran, what is the matter? What is hurting you?"

"Nix Nought!" Comoran cried. "Nix Nought is hurting me, brother!"

"Well if its nothing then shut up, I'm trying to sleep!"

While they was shoutin' back and forth, Jack grabbed a handy mattock pick that was leanin' against the wall and he swings it into the back of Blunderbore's skull with all his might. That mean ol giant collapses with a thud! Jack stuffed the coins back in the sack, tosses the harp in there with em, and he takes Bebinn by the hand, and drags her running out the door.

Jack had brought Bebinn to the beanstalk by the time Blunderbore found his brother's body, and Jack heard that beast a-roarin' and a-chargin' at them. The two lovers raced down that beanstalk, but it shook with the weight of two giants as Blunderbore scrambled his way down in a fury. Jack slipped a few times but Bebinn caught him fast.

When they came in view of the house, Jack's momma came out the house and was starin' agape at the giants while Jack was hollerin' at her to get the chainsaw out of the barn. Bebinn had Jack over her shoulder and slid down the beanstalk for the last few yards like a firehouse pole.

Jack fired that chainsaw up and notched the beanstalk out, causin' it to teeter back away from the house. Blunderbore toppled and fell right through the roof of the barn, where several sharp and pointy tools broke his fall.

******

So what happened next? Well, Bebinn gave her brother-in-law a proper Jotun burial up on the mountaintop, but she didn't really waste too many tears on her dear departed husband. Too busy finally enjoying the birds and the butterflies and the sunshine and freedom, I s'pose.

It took more work than he would have liked (which was any amount at all, really), but Jack managed to rebuild the old barn into a nice tall house for the two of them to live in. The house that Jack built was sturdy, and only needed occasional repairs from the long nights Jack and Bebinn spent rutting and fucking.

The golden harp sang a happy tune for the first time in many a year, so Jack grabbed his Daddy's old guitar and joined in singing "Blue Clear Sky".