All Comments on 'Jack Goes to a Concert'

Great story idea. Each sentense is great by it's self. But they come across as like a power point pressentaion. They don't feel conected, They don't flow from one to the other... I can't tell you how to fix this, but maybe if you messaged autors you like on Literotica and ask for advice, they could help. Having said that, please don't give up. I think you have great potential as a writer. You just need some guidence.

Yes, you need an editor to correct your many errors. How did "Carol" become "Peggy"..

Nice premise.

Nice story.

Could have used more foreplay/preliminaries. Some nice slow handjob edging, for instance. Playing with his balls and dialog about it all felt to him and to her.

Nevertheless, five stars.